Need to see some positivity on this particular subject...

[lochnessmomster]

I have seen a lot of threads lately about not wanting or not liking children.  While I understand that everyone has their preferences (and I am not here to judge anyone for how they feel on the matter), I would love to see some positive comments regarding children.  I am a mother of three, soon-to-be-four!, and it breaks my heart to see so many negative attitudes towards children.  After all, we were all children once!!  And most of us here are toy collectors, which makes it counterintuitive to me that any of us should be anti-children.  I mean, isn't that what we are on this forum... just kids at heart?

Anyway, like I said, I am not here to say that anyone should have children or be enamoured by them, I merely want to see some pro-kid comments, please.  It will do this mama's heart some good.

[achab1984]

I have a daughter and love her so much!!! I love to know there is someone that needs me and is always happy to see me I love to make her smile and listen to her talk about her ponies. And of course we have some Gerbils like I did when I was a kid. We will go for walks and she will talk and talk about them over and over! I also have seen a lot of things about kids.

You know I saw something on the news a while back and said there are less kids being born into this world. There are more older people then younger people. And that is not going to be a good thing down the road.  I am not going to say this to make anyone made. But a lot of younger adults are all about them selves and do not want to have to buy things for or take care of another person. Its a sad thing

[Jemstar666]

I have 4 kids and loves them to bits, I have always known I wanted children since I was quite young, No more for me tho lol, My OH he never wanted kids and now he has 4, and he loves them regardless. Most people I know have kids, or have just had their first baby, but I do find it soo odd to understand people who hate children/babies, I understand the ones who simply don't want to have them for other reasons, I remember when I was little my best friends parents were friends with a couple who hated children, they seemed really horrible and scary to me at the time, and pretty much greeted them and left as quickly as possible.

[lochnessmomster]

Thanks, avene. It made my heart happy to read that. 

In many ways I applaud those who choose not to have children, even if for purely selfish reasons, but you're absolutely right... it is more of a blessing than a burden to set oneself aside and take care of the needs of another.  As the old saying goes, "It is better to give than to receive."

Post Merge: July 01, 2013, 10:01:24 AM

I have 4 kids and loves them to bits, I have always known I wanted children since I was quite young, No more for me tho lol, My OH he never wanted kids and now he has 4, and he loves them regardless. Most people I know have kids, or have just had their first baby, but I do find it soo odd to understand people who hate children/babies, I understand the ones who simply don't want to have them for other reasons, I remember when I was little my best friends parents were friends with a couple who hated children, they seemed really horrible and scary to me at the time, and pretty much greeted them and left as quickly as possible.

Wow, four kiddos!! Soon I will be in the same boat as you.  How old are they and what genders?  I have two boys, a girl, and a mystery, lol... well, at least until we find out at my next scan at the end of the month. My husband was content with two, so I'm sure he can understand where your OH is coming from.  But, just like him, he loves all of his children and wouldn't change it for the world. 

[achab1984]

Thank you   I had her very young. I was married when I was 18 and found out I was going to have her when I was 19.  I was not ready for it and sure was a hard thing to accept at first. But when I saw my daughter for the first time in person I was in love. I am now 29 and she is 9. We have only grown stronger as she has grown up. She is a wonderful daughter with a very kind heart for others to It also helps that I have a great and kind hearted mom that loves to take her. She has her in all things of things to open up her world. My mom did the same with me.
HUGS all the wonderful moms  

[mylittleponylover92]

As a young person I will weigh in on this - without any kids of my own, I dont have any problems with children. 

They do worry me a bit as I dont have much experience taking care of them and they are well...responsibilty and rightly so. I suppose I get scared of doing something wrong and I just dont have a maternal instinct with other people's kids! But there's nothing nicer than making a young child smile and be happy! 

I have done a lot of developmental psychology and children do fascinate me so....also I feel like I know so much if I do want to have my own one day!

Although I do have to say this about a previous comment here - I am a young person....and I wouldn't say Im too self involved...not any more or less so than someone born in the 60/70s/80s!   
I do see, sort of where you're coming from, but to say its because we're selfish isnt always quite correct, I know kids today are far from perfect but theres a lot of factors to play here.

I think the economy has a LOT to do with it - in the western world, its just too expensive to have loads of kids. Also, in the UK both parents now need to work pretty much and that again makes people doubt wether having children is a good idea. This is what worries me...how will I afford it? I want to be able to provide the best for her/him but its so expensive my boyfriend and I barely can take care of ourselves. 

Also, in the eastern world...the population pyramid is bottom heavy....they have families of many many children! Whereas in the west its like a max of 4 for a lot of people (not all I know, this is a generalisation sorry) and the population pyramid is bottom heavy! So it depends where you are - clearly in the east people love having children

Anyways, years a go I said I never wanted children. Now Ive found someone I want to spend my life with and he does with me too....its really changed. In fact, I say my biological clock is already ticking....too damn early! Its actually scaring me. But I've talked about it and Im waiting until my plans are all sorted - so in the next 5 years. I need to finish uni and get a stable job first!

I do need to live my life for me first and get it all out of my system, I'd also like some married couple time first too BUT...I do want one now. However only one - since I am an only child and we've decided to give them the best education we'll only have one so we can afford it!

So I wouldn't say im selfish...a lot of people my age have had babies recently! I just know I have to wait and want to grow up more and live before I'm settled and have someone else that comes before me
It is a blessing - one I hope im lucky to have in the future. But certainly not until Im at least 25....so 4 years eek!

P.S. congrats Lochness  and Avene1984 - your relationship with your daughter is something I'd hope for if I had a little girl

[melodys_angel]

I work with kids and they are 'my' joy.  Its a lot of work but at the end of the day its the thing that puts a smile on your face

[Heartcease]

When I was younger, I didn't particularly like or want children.  They made me nervous.  I was planning on just being a scary cat lady.  But I met my husband, worked with kids as part of a counseling group, and found I really enjoyed kids and wanted to have ONE.  My son is awesome!  We have such a good time with him, and I'm hoping he'll be a little geek like my husband and me.

[achab1984]

Thank you Mylittleponylover92 I feel very lucky to have what I have.

[minamarie]

i dont think its anti-children if some choose not to give birth anytime.
and i understand how they see kidsatheart and mother not going good together without giving up something.
the best pro-kids would be my ubersweet babygirl but i wanna save her identity online
of course she makes me lucky and whole, she was wished for but i learned that it could have wait a few years and some other mothers i know would have done better with a doll or dog for what they want.


Post Merge: July 01, 2013, 10:52:35 AM

dont misunderstand me- i am mother with all of my heart going the attachment parenting way of longtimenursing, familybedding, carrying and i love it and sure want another one oneday! i was never a partygirl or sleeping half of the day, i didnt had to give up anything and she gives me so much everyday

[Chinabun]

I have 2 gorgeous little girls who are my world, and also my main reason for collecting

[SourdoughStomper]

I have three children and I love them all. They are so important to me that I would die for them. I wouldn't die for my van, or my television, or my pony collection. It's all garbage in the end. There won't be a U-haul behind my hearse. If those items are not worth dying for, they're not worth living for, either. I do feel sorry for those who deny themselves one of the most meaningful things they could ever have, but cest la vie.

Children also make you grow up and realize the world does not revolve around you. (Or, at least, it should.)

That said, I do have interests outside of my children, and I do like "stuff." I won't deny that I like "stuff." I just don't want to idolize it.

[Rosencrantz]

I do feel sorry for those who deny themselves one of the most meaningful things they could ever have, but cest la vie.

Given how many people I've seen call it the worst mistake of their lives, I wouldn't call that a universal.

[Jemstar666]

Thanks, avene. It made my heart happy to read that. 

In many ways I applaud those who choose not to have children, even if for purely selfish reasons, but you're absolutely right... it is more of a blessing than a burden to set oneself aside and take care of the needs of another.  As the old saying goes, "It is better to give than to receive."

Post Merge: July 01, 2013, 10:01:24 AM

I have 4 kids and loves them to bits, I have always known I wanted children since I was quite young, No more for me tho lol, My OH he never wanted kids and now he has 4, and he loves them regardless. Most people I know have kids, or have just had their first baby, but I do find it soo odd to understand people who hate children/babies, I understand the ones who simply don't want to have them for other reasons, I remember when I was little my best friends parents were friends with a couple who hated children, they seemed really horrible and scary to me at the time, and pretty much greeted them and left as quickly as possible.

Wow, four kiddos!! Soon I will be in the same boat as you.  How old are they and what genders?  I have two boys, a girl, and a mystery, lol... well, at least until we find out at my next scan at the end of the month. My husband was content with two, so I'm sure he can understand where your OH is coming from.  But, just like him, he loves all of his children and wouldn't change it for the world. 

I has 3 girls 7, 5 and 3 and 1 boy, 1yr, and I didnt have 4 just to have a boy like every always asks lol, i was hoping my last was a girl and all be girly, but at the mo he is more girly than the girls lol

[Willows_Firefly]

I have three children and I love them all. They are so important to me that I would die for them. I wouldn't die for my van, or my television, or my pony collection. It's all garbage in the end. There won't be a U-haul behind my hearse. If those items are not worth dying for, they're not worth living for, either. I do feel sorry for those who deny themselves one of the most meaningful things they could ever have, but cest la vie.

Children also make you grow up and realize the world does not revolve around you. (Or, at least, it should.)

That said, I do have interests outside of my children, and I do like "stuff." I won't deny that I like "stuff." I just don't want to idolize it.

Just because someone does not want children of their own does not mean they are somehow selfish or idolize "stuff". It does not mean that your life is in any way more "meaningful" than theirs because you chose to have your own kids.

I don't have children yet, but I work with them and plan to foster in the future (my partner will be fostering in a few months time).

I know many wonderful, selfless people who chose to work with children but not go home to them. They have friends, family and plenty of love in their lives. They care for people of all ages and live the lives the way they should- the way they want to.