Vending Machine!

[Eviecorn]

You get an industrial sized box of fortune cookies in Dutch.

*inserts a lightly used joke*

[Icecrystalline]

You get a bottle of homeopathic spray....

... I insert an enchanted ring.

[mopthebunny]

You get a handsome Prince holding a more beautiful version of the ring you put in

*Inserts ball of wool*

[Talismarr]

You get a sheep wearing a knitted sweater!

*Inserts scrambled eggs*

[nikit96]

You get a turkey for dinner.

-insert iPhone 4-

[StoryDreamer]

You get a dancing penguin with a little hat that says "tips please"

**I feed my penguin tips into the machine***

[HavACrumpet452]

You get a shiny silver rope with a tassle on the end

I insert a can of creamed corn

[GazeboMouse]

You recieve a free ticket to a line dancing contest in July held in the People's Republic of South Yemen.
I insert a small inert Bushbaby who goes by the name of 'Norman'.

[Icecrystalline]

In return for Norman you get a cheeky naked chappy who can do the 'butt-cheek' dance... *ooft*

.... I insert a copy of N64 Zelda.

[nikit96]

-dundundunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn- You get the Master Sword! I'd be careful with that Link might need it within the century. We're not sure if he's reincarnated yet...

-insert common Pokemon cards-

[Icecrystalline]

...Guess what? You just got lucky. Out comes a legendary Entei, and he seems to like you!

I insert a mammoth tusk...

[Winter Bones]

...and out pops a surf board with a smiley face on it. Time to hang 10!

I insert my robe and wizard hat...

[nikit96]

Harry Potter tumbles out and runs off, then Voldemort slithers out and chases Harry. Oh dear...

-insert a pig-

[rybett]

You get a lifetime supply of BACON!!!

I insert the blue hair tie one of my cats just brought me...

[invaderhorizongreen]

It morphs into a lovey dress and has an invite to a big dance

inserts a bag of neopoints into the machine.