Vending Machine!

[Winter Bones]

A heavy old phonograph falls out of the machine and into your arms, and you hear the late poet Goethe speaking from it. The faint voice declares:

Indeed: the will is indeed a magician! Is there anything it cannot do? But the human will is not a will, it is a bad will. Ha! haha! hee! hee!

*inserts Fonzie's jacket*

[Kitten Mittens]

A loud 'ayyyy' plays and an oversized toy shark falls out. You feel the strangest urge to hop over it.

I insert an ebony dagger.

[LordBlumiere]

You hear someone shouting inside the machine, a dragon's roar, and then a horned helmet pops out.

*inserts a doctor's note*

[Charmer]

You hear a wooshing sound just like the Tardis from Doctor Who. After a couple of seconds a sonic screwdriver come out.

*Inserts some tinsel*

[Eviecorn]

You get one of Aretha Franklin's big hats.

*inserts a copy of the screenplay to Fast and the Furious 8: A Drift Before Time*

[Winter Bones]

The machine dispenses...

a can of soda!? The label reads 'spicy Salvadoran'. As you drink it, the room twists and turns, then warps into a mess of melting clocks and elephants on stilts. Weirdest of all, the cola you're drinking tastes neither spicy nor Salvadoran.

*inserts a jazz pickle*

[Zombie]

You receive a Veggie Tales DVD bundled with a jazz cd!

*Inserts a green plastic dinosaur*

[LordBlumiere]

You hear a roar.... your glass of water shakes... a copy of the Jurassic Park novel shoots out of the vending machine.

*inserts a MP3 player*

[Zombie]

You receive fifty-two Taiwanese Heavy Metal albums!


*Insert a beaten up ol' teddy bear*

[Eviecorn]

You get man made out of taffy!

*inserts nail clippings*

[RarityDash]

You get a wheel of fancy cheese!
I insert a cat.

[LordBlumiere]

You get a pan of lasagna!

*inserts a Santa hat, ho ho ho*