The MLP Arena
Pony Talk => Off Topic => Topic started by: Spike on December 05, 2012, 12:49:16 AM
-
What do you think about them? Are they growing up too fast for their age?
I've noticed as the years are going by more and more are going out partying at 15 and younger, having babies at 13+, Being sexually active in grade 8 etc..
When I was a kid I played with My Little Ponies and barbies.. Not with my baby or with rude parts.
What do you think about the society these days?
-
This could potentially become a very touchy subject for some. I had my son at 17 (pregnant at 16) and honestly, I turned out great. (Lol.) And Not only did I have a child young, but he was diagnosed with Autism when he was 3 and he's 8 now. He's grown into a wonderful young boy (still a pain in my butt) and that has to say something about my parenting. XD
But I get what you're saying. I do believe kids are growing up too quickly these days and there are many parents who turn a blind eye to it. I see it everyday in the spring, summer and fall. Young girls are dressing provocatively and it makes you wonder, do the parents even see what their children are wearing?
Sadly, a lot of that stems from, in order to live nowadays, you have to work like 2 full time jobs, give up parenting your children because you can barely make ends meet. :(
I'm proud to say that my son is 8, he does not own a cell phone, he does not own his own computer/laptop, he doesn't even have an iPod. He is obsessed with LEGOs and Mario and hopefully he will stay like that until he's 16 or so. At 16, since he isn't a girl, he may be able to go out on group dates... Maybe.
-
i can't tell you how many times teens come through and ask for "birth control stick" at work.
i. am. in. shock.
if you don't even know what its called, you shouldn't be having sex.
-
It's sad when society changes like this :( I still live with my parents and I go to school, but I've never drank any alchohol or and I don't even want to see cigarettes and proud of it. (For those who use cigarettes, I don't mean anything ofensive by this, don't get my words wrong)
The things you describe often happen in my country, unfortunately :( . I miss times when you see a 10 year old girl on the street and she doesn't wear tons of mascara, lipstick and eyeshadow. I mean, I like make-up, but a young girl to wear tons of it, so she could be more sexually atractive... :blink: Nugh! I'm not even going to start about their mini-skirts and tops, which barely reach their waist...
-
Not too long ago I saw an 8 or 9 year old girl wearing purple sequined booty shorts. She was with an adult that I assume was her Mom. Look though the girls clothing deparment at a store. Most of them look like hooker clothes. I was having this conversation with a friend of mine. She's says it's almost impossible for her to non-hooker clothes for her 9 year old.
My cousin had a cell phone, ipod, and got her nails done at the age of 9. Why does a 9 year old need fake nails? I remember being really excited when my grandma would paint my nails at that age.
-
Who gives a rat's ass if kids dress in ways you find to be "provocative?" It isn't your life and it doesn't affect you, so why shame chicks for wearing what they like? I can understand not liking the drug use, but why limit a woman's right to dress how she likes?
-
Who gives a rat's ass if kids dress in ways you find to be "provocative?" It isn't your life and it doesn't affect you, so why shame chicks for wearing what they like? I can understand not liking the drug use, but why limit a woman's right to dress how she likes?
Thank you.
In the end, these aren't just children but other young women.
Should we now criticize and heavily complain about women who wear fake nails? Or those who wear stockings? How about ones who wear "boots wit' da fur"? I imagine a number of Arena members who are female wear stockings, have fake nails, and own at least one pair of Uggs.
If I was a child still, I would be heartbroken to know that adult women were demeaning me behind my backs or my choice in fashion. I'm more than a little saddened on the part of these young women to know that their role models are mocking them and assigning nasty, negative labels to them.
At least the young ladies shopping with their mothers were shopping with their mothers. There can be some proper role-modeling as long as they are with their mothers. :) They could have been hanging out with much older kids, sneaking out of school or worse things.
Plus... maybe the "booty shorts" were from a dance class she hadn't changed from yet. I know there's a dance studio at the mall by my house and I would never assume to label any of the make-up laden children wearing shorts/sequins/leotards/no pants as "provocative" or "sexualized"! They're either on the way into the studio or leaving it... and they don't always change back to street clothes.
-
Who gives a rat's ass if kids dress in ways you find to be "provocative?" It isn't your life and it doesn't affect you, so why shame chicks for wearing what they like? I can understand not liking the drug use, but why limit a woman's right to dress how she likes?
See, it can be a touchy subject.
Now, I'm not demeaning children. BUT, that is what they are. Children. An 8 year old sees a pair of purple sequined "booty" shorts, and they don't see that they could be misconstrued. They see a shiny pair of shorts! An 8 year old isn't old enough (not like a 16 year old or even a 13 year old) to see that someone else could be leering at them inappropriately. And that isn't their fault. BUT, there are tasteful... ish ways to wear clothing like that. My sister in law makes my 16 year old niece wear leggings underneath shorts like that.
And it all depends on when the parents grew up. If you have a young mother who dresses like that, they have no issues letting their kids dress like that.
I grew up bigger, so I don't even wear shorts now. Haha. But, my boyfriend and I have the same mind set. IF I can see your butt, it's too short and you aren't wearing it. :) But, that's my kids. I may disagree with how another mother dresses her child, but it doesn't affect me but I do feel a little sad.
Post Merge: December 05, 2012, 07:41:05 AM
Thank you.
In the end, these aren't just children but other young women.
Should we now criticize and heavily complain about women who wear fake nails? Or those who wear stockings? How about ones who wear "boots wit' da fur"? I imagine a number of Arena members who are female wear stockings, have fake nails, and own at least one pair of Uggs.
/snip/
Plus... maybe the "booty shorts" were from a dance class she hadn't changed from yet. I know there's a dance studio at the mall by my house and I would never assume to label any of the make-up laden children wearing shorts/sequins/leotards/no pants as "provocative" or "sexualized"! They're either on the way into the studio or leaving it... and they don't always change back to street clothes.
To me, a 9 year old isn't a young woman, that's still a child. My son hits 9 next year, he will not be a young man. He will still be a child.
And, you are correct. There are situations where that kind of clothing is definitely appropriate.
But, do you feel that kind of clothing is appropriate for school? I do not. If it was 120 degrees out, that clothing is appropriate. If it's 30 degrees out and you're wearing shorts with half your butt hanging out, I think you could maybe slip back inside and put on leggings or a pair of pants, haha.
But, I'm really modest and I would expect my children to dress modestly. It's how I was raised. I don't judge these kids over it. I cringe because I'm modest. I don't run across the street and be like "OMG you need to cover up!" and throw my sweater around their waist.
And some Uggs are really adorable. I love how some ladies can pull off a long sweater, tights and boots. I can't, but I love seeing how people dress.
-
I find most children these days to be too loud, disrespectful and lacking good parental guidance. Not saying all are like this cuz they're not, but most of the ones I encounter are.
-
Sometimes it's tough to blame the parents though- it's harder to get a good paying job now, you have to work more hours, and still have trouble making ends meet thanks to the economy. Less time with the kids, more stress and worse parenting.
I was watching a video from 1949 about how to date on Youtube, and it made me respect these times so much less.
-
Im going to drop a bit of a warning here, since this has defiantely ruffled some feathers. Play nice and concider how others may feel before posting or this thread will need to be locked <3
As far as my views go, I can see it both ways. Not all kids are like this, not all people are the same.
Theres a huge agegap between my sister and I..and we have some similarities but personality wise couldnt be more different. Shes not a bad kid but falls into the 'typical teenager' category..where I grew up with my head in the books. I cant control what she does but I can help influence it by talking to her. She still needs to make up her own mind but when other factors are involved it usually helps to move towards a more reasonable one :)
-
I said, touchy subject. Hehe.
All kids need a good positive role model. :I And, sadly, there just aren't a lot out there anymore. The media warps even the best of what little role models there are. What a time we live in. :(
And Melody, I'm with you, being the younger sister though. There's almost 10 years between my older sister and I. She kind of left me alone during my childhood, but now that I'm 26, we get along a lot better and she's definitely a huge positive influence in my life. :) (And it helps that now our similarities are bigger!)
Too bad we can't be a better positive influence on our middle brother who is going down a very dangerous path. :(
-
My problem is with these young girls being sexualized. That worries me. I can see how easy it is for teen/tween girls to dress that way no matter what the parents think. It's easy to go to her friend's house and dress in her clothes and wear her make up. I'm talking about younger kids. I'm sorry, but I don't think a mini skirt (unless leggings or something underneath) and a low cut shirt are appropriate for an 8 year. If it's hot outside I can see them wearing less clothes. I'm not demeaning them or making fun of them. Their parents are the ones buying the clothes. I remember in 5th grade wanting a see through shirt so bad because some of my friends had them. My parents said no and in my opinion as a grown up I think they should have.
-
I am a mother of four young girls (ages 7, 5, 3, and 19 months), and I admit I have a difficult time finding clothes that I deem appropriate for their age. The majority of skirts and dresses I find are waaaaaaay too short. Maybe they are now made that way because leggings are in, maybe not. And it's not like I need their dresses to be at their ankles. Knee-length or just slightly above is what I'm aiming for. But most hit at mid-thigh, which I think is too short for girls that age. And I get a double whammy with my 7-year-old, because she's tall for her age, and it's all in her legs, so the skirts appear even shorter. Yes, I have biker shorts and leggings to go under them to make them more modest, but it's still frustrating at times. I want my girls to look age appropriate - not like a 16-year old.
But I admit that my oldest two do like the glitz - they love the holiday cardigans with all the sequins!
-
I'm not sure that kids are "growing up" too soon. Not very long ago one would have been considered an adult at 13.
It's the lack of respect that youngsters are showing that worries me. Most do not seem to respect elders, rules, each other or them selves.
-
I'm all for freedom of expression. I think as children grow and they have the maturity to make choices it's important to give them opportunities to do so. That being said, I feel very young children are not at an age that they fully understand some of implications of actions/dress/etc. And I think there is a serious problem with the way our society portrays women and expects women to dress and behave.
Some of these 'hooker clothes' are not setting these children up for a positive body image. In my opinion, it's not empowering for a 7 year old to wear painful 3 inch high heel boots and booty shorts in the winter. Or buy lingerie and bras they can't even fill out. Infants don't need bikinis. Children shouldn't get plastic surgery... etc. Some of this stuff identifies them as a sexual creature and I don't think that 10-11-12 years olds are capable of handling sexual relationships. I'm not saying every very young child who dresses provocatively will get molested. But dressing in order to be sexy and attract boys/men does say something mentally about what a girl sees as valuable about herself. We have to deal with so much baggage and crap as adults. I would rather see children hold off on the adult stuff as long as they can.
I know I am a prude. But I do think kids grow up too fast. Or else what it means to be a kid is changing.
-
I think we have a bit of a rose tinted way of seeing the past. When I was in school there were girls who were expelled for getting pregnant at 14 (yeah I went to a school who would expel people for getting pregnant), I had a few friends who had babies before finishing high school. I knew lots of people who were hardly respectful of adults. In fact, I was pretty goody two shoes in school, and I swore at teachers on occasion.
My Mum would go meet ships and pick up sailors, and she was pregnant when she got married the first time at 18, and she also was pregnant (with me) the second time got married.
And I'm not from a low income/social status either. I was sent to expensive private schools, I have a University education, I even owned a pony and went to pony club. So I'm sure it was worse in schools where people didn't have as much money and were considered lower class.
Romeo and Juliet is about a 18 year old boy and a 14 year old girl, so it goes WAY back.
-
:blink:
-
I work at the kid's club of a gym and the majority of the kids I get (between 6 months and 12 years) are delightful. Some little girls wear shorter skirts, but they are always wearing leggings with them. I personally wouldn't let my daughter (this is a hypothetical daughter, since I have no kids yet) go out in something revealing, but that's my own personal opinion of the matter. I don't think parents who let their kids dress otherwise are necessarily bad parents, I just wouldn't do it.
i can't tell you how many times teens come through and ask for "birth control stick" at work.
i. am. in. shock.
if you don't even know what its called, you shouldn't be having sex.
To be fair, I went on birth control when I was 15, purely for medical reasons. So you can't always assume that they're sexually active, some may be in a situation like I was. And for those who are active already, the fact that they don't know what it's called shows me that they haven't gotten the proper education (either from parents or from the school) on the subject. At least they're trying to be safe...
-
It's a difficult statement to blanket kids with, but sometimes it is the case. I teach teenagers and I do see that with quite a few of my girls - getting involved in adult-level drama with relationships, having babies, etc. It sucks because you want to shake them and tell them just how short your childhood is and that you should wait for all those adult problems ... you know, for adulthood.
I'm not going to really attack their ways of dressing (unless the parent makes them wear those items of clothing - in that case, there's something inherently wrong.) But the behavior? It's all kinds of different factors, when some kids really don't get enough parental guidance unfortunately, and some have parents who have the time to teach an influence but don't because it's not easy or they don't want to be "mean." I dunno.
-
It's the lack of respect that youngsters are showing that worries me. Most do not seem to respect elders, rules, each other or them selves.
I see this a lot too! There's a lot of tough issues going on right now for children and they have to go through a totally different childhood experience. Respect of space/feelings/opinions/other lives seems to be lower than I remember it being. (There was always name calling/playing around) but there seems to be a higher level of intensity and it started escalating when I was high school even.
Of course there are always nice thoughtful children too!~
-
It can be many factors, culture,education,or the lack of them :(
I do not have kids, but my siblings kids are way too demanding, they know what they want to wear since they are 2 or so,is not easy to guide a kid,but some parents just give up at some point,the kids are great in school ,but also pier pressure there is another factor,they have to fit in and stand out seems to be the deal these days,so it is a different world for them,nothing like how it was when i was a kid.
-
I haven't read through all of the replies yet, but had to step in at the sequined booty short comment. When my brother and I were little, my mom and dad would actually let us dress ourselves most days, if we wanted to. This ended up with my brother wearing red snow boots almost year 'round (to look like He-Man) and me wearing Halloween costumes (I was a pink unicorn more than one year...) whenever we wanted to. It was tons of fun when we were little bitty, and also taught us the lesson as we aged that appearances and how you dress yourself *can* matter. There's a chance that that little girl just really loved those booty shorts that day and her mom decided it would be easier to let her wear them than deal with an argument about it.
That said, I agree with the statement that tweens and younger are NOT young men and women, they are still children, and as such, I do believe that there is a certain level of sheltering and protection from society that adults ought to give them. I also think that the biggest part of the problem might be from how many things are "bad" and "off limits" to children - Don't party, it's bad! Don't have sex, it's bad! Don't drink, it's bad! Don't cuss, it's bad! Children don't learn by being told what *not* to do, they learn by being shown what is right to do. The more limits that get placed on them, the more they want to push them, and that's where a lot of this trouble comes from.
-
I would like to make a comment on the disrespect to adults comment.
My son has Autism and there are so many times where I'll take him into the store, he'll have a melt down because he can't have something... and the comments that ADULTS make, break my heart. Comments about my parenting, how bad my child is, how I need to take him out and spank him. FROM ADULTS. Children are more understanding to him than adults are.
Children learn from the adults in their lives.
But I swear to God, the next time someone says something and I can hear it, I will look them dead in the eye and say "Autism. 1 in 54 boys. 1 in 88 children. So, you need to think before you say anything else."
Sorry for the mini rant.
And Katika, I agree completely! The more you tell a child they can't do something, OF COURSE they'll want to do it. Haha.
-
Aww, :hug: Ivaness. I've worked with several autistic kids (and a handful of others who I suspect also are autistic, but haven't been tested) and they can be a challenge sometimes, but they're still wonderful kids and super sweet. I'm sorry so many adults are rude about it, that's disheartening. It's ridiculous to make assumptions about someone else's child without knowing their situation.
-
I hate it.. I'm ashamed to be my age and born in my generation. It's pathetic... But. what can you do :/
-
The more you tell a child they can't do something, OF COURSE they'll want to do it.
Just like cats ^_^
On topic: Ultimately it's up to the parents. I see many parents blaming school for not raising children properly, or "destroying" them. Well, noone can do parents' job except the parents. And sadly many are not ready or not preapred for the task.
-
I work at the kid's club of a gym and the majority of the kids I get (between 6 months and 12 years) are delightful. Some little girls wear shorter skirts, but they are always wearing leggings with them. I personally wouldn't let my daughter (this is a hypothetical daughter, since I have no kids yet) go out in something revealing, but that's my own personal opinion of the matter. I don't think parents who let their kids dress otherwise are necessarily bad parents, I just wouldn't do it.
i can't tell you how many times teens come through and ask for "birth control stick" at work.
i. am. in. shock.
if you don't even know what its called, you shouldn't be having sex.
To be fair, I went on birth control when I was 15, purely for medical reasons. So you can't always assume that they're sexually active, some may be in a situation like I was. And for those who are active already, the fact that they don't know what it's called shows me that they haven't gotten the proper education (either from parents or from the school) on the subject. At least they're trying to be safe...
Yes, my birth control was for excessive monthly pains. Like pains that could possibly kill me. I am not sexually active, but again, I'm 20.
I just think they're lacking education these days. I particularly don't like being told to **** off by an 11 year old! Which did happen. It was horrible. Their respect for adults has greatly decreased. Role models are usually their magazine superstars from Hollywood that put on so much makeup and wear skimpy clothes.
Movies and film also influence them to act the way they do these days. Back in the 30's (Shirley Temple time), look how they acted and look how polite they were then. Using names like "Miss" for ladies, and usually using their manners. Nowadays, I've noticed more and more are rude and disrespectful.
It makes me sad, will my children to be be like that? I hope not :(
Post Merge: December 06, 2012, 12:14:00 AM
I would like to make a comment on the disrespect to adults comment.
My son has Autism and there are so many times where I'll take him into the store, he'll have a melt down because he can't have something... and the comments that ADULTS make, break my heart. Comments about my parenting, how bad my child is, how I need to take him out and spank him. FROM ADULTS. Children are more understanding to him than adults are.
Children learn from the adults in their lives.
But I swear to God, the next time someone says something and I can hear it, I will look them dead in the eye and say "Autism. 1 in 54 boys. 1 in 88 children. So, you need to think before you say anything else."
Sorry for the mini rant.
And Katika, I agree completely! The more you tell a child they can't do something, OF COURSE they'll want to do it. Haha.
I know how you feel, in my own books though. I have Aspergers and I've had meltdowns before yeah. My mother never really understood disabilities so she spanked me, grounded me etc. I didn't know what I was doing wrong back then. I didn't know why I got so angry and why I couldn't control it. Sometimes I didn't know why I got spanked.
No one has told my mum that though when I was a kid. She did it anyway lol. I don't think she took the right approach though. I get along with people younger than me and older than me because they're more understanding and less judgmental.
That's horrible that someone would tell you to smack your autistic baby. We needn't to be hit, we need to be understood.
That's my story though. Back on topic.
I saw this young lady today, who is 12. I had a conversation with her and asked what she does for a living. And she told me:
"I play with my barbie dolls and play Mario sometimes on my brothers".
She was young, no makeup, clean clothes, looked extremely innocent. She is what I remember children to be!
-
Personally, I'm saddened by kids today. I do not know how many times I'm in Walmart, trying to talk to my parents about what I want to eat for the week and kids just run around causing havoc while the parents do nothing. Now I'm a generally quiet person who'll just try to ignore it but my parents tend to give them a piece of their mind. I remember we had some neighbors who were only a couple of years younger than me (I was eleven at the time and they were nine and ten) and, while the little girl was generally well behaved she dressed rather inappropriately for her age and listened to music that was a little on the, ahem, nasty side of the lyrics department (a lot of Brittany Spears, Ke$a, etc.) I like to try and distance myself from kids today (even though I'm only a teenager myself) because I generally cannot relate to them.
-
While there may be excuses for children's clothes that too revealing, there is no excuse for children's clothes that have prints on them that say "Hot", "Miss Sexy", "Kiss Me" and whatnot. It's disgusting.
-
What do you think about them? Are they growing up too fast for their age?
I've noticed as the years are going by more and more are going out partying at 15 and younger, having babies at 13+, Being sexually active in grade 8 etc..
When I was a kid I played with My Little Ponies and barbies.. Not with my baby or with rude parts.
What do you think about the society these days?
Actually, partying and having sex and the occasional knock up, that's been seen as the stereo typical teen culture for quite a while. American movies and what not from the 80's, 70's, 60's show that. Kids driving about in cars, smoking, hanging out god knows were or causing trouble and starting fights and being in gangs/groups, that was viewed as being 'cool' from what I understand.
As for the stuff in real life, I think during our parents generation (those born probably in the 70's and earlier) Teen pregnancies were probalby hushed up and if it was leaked, they were shunned from public and stink-eyed. Like recently one of our upper politicians made a public apology to those who were forced to give up their children for adoption, mostly teens and single mothers.
It's like how peadophilia/molesation wasn't much of a worry during the 70's/80's/90's and it was known, but it was all 'as if anyone would do that' but now? Everybody is paranoid about it, kids get educated about it and what not and since it's out there, more cases are being reported.
Anyway, I think think this all leads from things being hushed up and not spoken about, but when communications became easier and faster to obtain- things like teh internet, mobile phones, faxes, tv, live broad casts and fast aeroplanes. It's hard to keep these things in the dark, and more people have better jobs and so there was a BOOM in population.
And so since there was a BOOM and our populaiton is still rising, it's getting harder and harder to hide things. With cameras everywhere and in everything, everybody has a mobile (I remember in school, only one or three kids had a phone and everybody loved them for it! haha, it was like have a metallic gel pen in primary school) and the news could be broad cast at any time of day on tv or the radio. Infomation is easier to ship around, and once infomation is out there there's no stopping it.
and also with the boom in population means there's more kids out there doing whatever it is like partying so it's more obvious, before it was a word of mouth thing or a telephone thing and you had to be home to take the call or simply, just know someone. Now? Just send out one email to 2390429398490 different addresses save to your list and everybody can come for your booze up.
Post Merge: December 06, 2012, 05:54:30 AM
I think. I think I got the wrong end of the stick here, I dind't see the other commetns so I'm in the wrong context box. oops. orz
Post Merge: December 06, 2012, 05:54:49 AM
am I allowed to delete my reply?
-
bagheera86 I think your post is relevant. It speaks to how the media and perception of what it means to be a kid affects the culture itself. :) But feel free to pull it if you like.
-
I don't think it's a new as everyone thinks. I'm 20 and when I was in school and about 7-8 there was lots of girls who wanted to be into 'grown up stuff' like makeup and 'grown up' clothes etc. But there is some stuff on the rise that isn't go good like really young kids who smoke, drink etc.
Also, I do think 'kids these days' isn't that new since it always crops up. Also, the concept of a childhood and a teenhood as it were is fairly 'new' as of course kids used to work, and people used to get married really young like early-mid teens and there wasn't really an 'adolosence' period like we have now. I think the idea of 'teenagers' only really came around post WW2 in most countires.
And in line with bagreeha things like teenage mothers aren't new but like she said it was hushed up quite a bit like if a girl was pregant out of wedlock they usually ended up in a mum and baby home and then after the baby was born they'd be left.
-
I don't have kids, I have a cat and he's like my son. So, I can't say I've been looking around the girls' department at clothing stores. However, I do see some shocking outfits for girls in halloween stores. They have their own version of sexy costumes, like sexy policewoman and they have fishnet stockings, short skirts, shirts that are like belly shirts and high boots.
I know some people might think that because I don't have kids I don't have the right to give my opinion. It's fine if you feel that way but I want to kindly give my opinion anyway.
I think you see children growing up too fast a lot lately. I love monster high but I think that, bratz dolls, and how some of the new barbies are kind of show to young kids how females are supposed to look. If a Mom guys their daughter a short skirt but uses leggings or biker shorts or something along with it I think that's OK.
Also, I don't personally own a pair of uggs.
-
While there may be excuses for children's clothes that too revealing, there is no excuse for children's clothes that have prints on them that say "Hot", "Miss Sexy", "Kiss Me" and whatnot. It's disgusting.
I absolutely agree to this. I saw a BABY. Yeah a BABY! Wearing a shirt that said "I suck my mummies boobies."
Who in the right mind would make a 6 month old child wear something that ridiculous. Sure, they may think it's funny but it is highly inappropriate.
-
D: I can't believe a shirt like that exists.
-
I absolutely agree to this. I saw a BABY. Yeah a BABY! Wearing a shirt that said "I suck my mummies boobies."
Who in the right mind would make a 6 month old child wear something that ridiculous. Sure, they may think it's funny but it is highly inappropriate.
Maybe they were a breastfeeding advocacy family. What's inappropriate about breast feeding? Or mentioning that it occurs? :( I would be incredibly insulted if someone told me that the only purpose of my breasts is to look attractive and that it is shameful to present them as the reason why my child is alive.
In Canada, it's unlawful to express any kind of opinion about a woman's breasts when she has an infant present, whether they are out in the open, under a cover, or the baby is wearing an outfit that says, "I breastfeed - it's the best!" And women are legally allowed to be as topless as men are. :-p
-
I absolutely agree to this. I saw a BABY. Yeah a BABY! Wearing a shirt that said "I suck my mummies boobies."
Who in the right mind would make a 6 month old child wear something that ridiculous. Sure, they may think it's funny but it is highly inappropriate.
Maybe they were a breastfeeding advocacy family. What's inappropriate about breast feeding? Or mentioning that it occurs? :( I would be incredibly insulted if someone told me that the only purpose of my breasts is to look attractive and that it is shameful to present them as the reason why my child is alive.
It just sounded wrong that a baby was wearing a shirt that said boobies. :( Hmm I suppose it WOULD be WORSE if a 15 year old was wearing a shirt that said that lol
-
I absolutely agree to this. I saw a BABY. Yeah a BABY! Wearing a shirt that said "I suck my mummies boobies."
Who in the right mind would make a 6 month old child wear something that ridiculous. Sure, they may think it's funny but it is highly inappropriate.
Maybe they were a breastfeeding advocacy family. What's inappropriate about breast feeding? Or mentioning that it occurs? :( I would be incredibly insulted if someone told me that the only purpose of my breasts is to look attractive and that it is shameful to present them as the reason why my child is alive.
It just sounded wrong that a baby was wearing a shirt that said boobies. :( Hmm I suppose it WOULD be WORSE if a 15 year old was wearing a shirt that said that lol
Well, it is the truth isn't it? xDD
-
so.. yeah i noticed that the kids clothing is getting skimper and skimper.. and a lot of people dress there kids as 'hookers" style now adays.. but honestly that isn't my place to judge anyhting.. but i will say.. if you dress your child skimpy nad in very little clothing as a kid.. chances are that is what there goin to wear when they get older.. and we all know where that goes.. for example. my parents know soemoen who has a little girl.. whos 9 years old and dressed like shes 19.. she wears revealing shirts that purplusly show cleavge, short daisy dukes. and i belive heels. and puts on maleup and goes out of the house like that.. in mho its enterualy unappoiate to let her do that.. but in the end it is the parents choice. to allow it or not.
the other day i was in wallmart and i saw a string bikini that was just two little trangles for the top and a thong nad a little pice of matreil for the bottom. for a 6 year old!!!!! o.o really?
but anyway.. i just wnated to say this.. i dont know if you all are fmailer with mars needs moms (the disney movie that flopped?) apparnetly disney did a poll and made a statement before tangled came out. and thats why the made mars needs moms but it was horrible. they said that girls dont want to be princesses anymore.. that they wnat o be hookers. and really i can see thre point.. so thats why they wee going to start trying to cater to boys.. but the movie itself was horrendous so i dont know if they have gone back on this statement or not.. but they are aparenty now trying to get boys as there main audince and no longer little girls. they had to redo tnagled whih imo was a good movie.
but in the end.. it deosnt affect us. what parents do with there kids. and this isnt a new problem its been here awhile.. i rmeember when i was in i think.. 9th grade in one class i was in i was the only person there not pregnet. or had a kid. and they looekd down on me for it. and the fact that the schools have day care for the kids yes its good and its bad at hte same time. your saying hey ig you get pregnet here you can put your kid here.
but in closing.. i thinkt hat peoples modesty issues have changed.. and it all depends on the persons morals and views.. how they want to dress there kids.. if they wnat to dress them skimpy thent hat is there choice.. and i know theres a big conrovers about breast feeding in public and nudity. but again.. that is a person perosnal choice.. and if they chose to do it.. hten so be it.
as my dad says so many times to me in my life. if you do something be prepared to deal with the consequnces that choice will give you.
-
Bagheera, I 100% agree with you. This isn't a new thing at all. And how old does everyone sound "children these days" didn't our parents say that. Holy crap, when I was 10 I wore mini skirts and hot pants. In lovely 80s fluro orange. Did we all forget that mini skirts were invented in the 60s? And those things were short. Back in medieval time if you didn't have kids by the time you were 15 you were an old maid because you died in your 30s. Lolita was was written in 1955, so sexualising kids isn't new. Should we do that? No, we shouldn't, but it isn't "kids these days".
While there may be excuses for children's clothes that too revealing, there is no excuse for children's clothes that have prints on them that say "Hot", "Miss Sexy", "Kiss Me" and whatnot. It's disgusting.
I absolutely agree to this. I saw a BABY. Yeah a BABY! Wearing a shirt that said "I suck my mummies boobies."
Who in the right mind would make a 6 month old child wear something that ridiculous. Sure, they may think it's funny but it is highly inappropriate.
I find shirts like this funny. Their babies, they don't know what their wearing. And they aren't meant to sexualise babies, it's just a joke.
-
Lol, I have a near-2 year old who is almost 8 inches taller than the national average. Everything on her is midriff-baring and "too short", but it doesn't bother me because at least she's comfortable and she can kick her legs and dance and do splits without her pants falling down. xD
The problem here is little girls' bodies being sexualized against their will. How come boys can go to the pool entirely shirtless and nobody bats an eye?
-
Lol, I have a near-2 year old who is almost 8 inches taller than the national average. Everything on her is midriff-baring and "too short", but it doesn't bother me because at least she's comfortable and she can kick her legs and dance and do splits without her pants falling down. xD
The problem here is little girls' bodies being sexualized against their will. How come boys can go to the pool entirely shirtless and nobody bats an eye?
That pool thing annoys me so much. I have a friend who was kicked out of the pool because he 8 year old hated wearing tops at the pool. When they were kicked out, the staff said "Girls have to wear tops, that is a girl, right?" he couldn't even tell and they were kicking them out.
-
Ok,
I really think everyone needs to take a moment to stop and step back. Just remember that whatever you see, there are always 2 sides of the coin, and there might be a chance that whatever you may think is happening isnt really the case.
The point with the BC pill actually made me think..and the OP to that comment is 100% right. Up until they found out that the BC was the cause of a tumor in my liver, I was on it...purely for medical reasons. I was forced on it when I was a teenager but in actuallity they should have started it when i was 8--they just didnt catch it fast enough.
Would you have looked at me and assumed that I was growing up too quickly or thought I was active if that had been the case?
A few days ago, I was going out for my walk and went to go and sit on a swing. A young mother went and downgraded me because adults arent supposed to go on the swing. I turned around and pretty much told her the same thing. You dont know me, or my medical history. She would have had no idea of the last 5 years of my life which had brought me to that point. I was out there for medical reasons.
The baby shirt comment is another example^^ Sometimes its just better to stop and think outside the box for a sec or concider something that might not be your initial thought or reaction.
-
Lol, I have a near-2 year old who is almost 8 inches taller than the national average. Everything on her is midriff-baring and "too short", but it doesn't bother me because at least she's comfortable and she can kick her legs and dance and do splits without her pants falling down. xD
The problem here is little girls' bodies being sexualized against their will. How come boys can go to the pool entirely shirtless and nobody bats an eye?
That pool thing annoys me so much. I have a friend who was kicked out of the pool because he 8 year old hated wearing tops at the pool. When they were kicked out, the staff said "Girls have to wear tops, that is a girl, right?" he couldn't even tell and they were kicking them out.
"Your body is inappropriate and needs to be covered up at all times" is the message, essentially.
It's no wonder that when some girls are growing up, awash in their own personal insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, they turn to low-cut cleavage-baring shirts and "JUICY" shorts. It's flirty, it's teasing, it's giving others a glimpse of something "taboo", and it's unfortunately a very easy way to make them sexy and interesting to the troglodytian male population that they've been led to believe is superior to them for... some reason.
If we were all allowed to just walk about town topless without people making us feel like crap, this topic wouldn't even exist ;3
-
If we were all allowed to just walk about town topless without people making us feel like crap, this topic wouldn't even exist ;3
:lovey:
-
Fight the power! Be a nudist!
I just want to add that when I was breastfeeding, I would just... whip it out in public, no cover (it's Florida, after all), and nobody ever even said anything to me. I got some looks but hey, that's their baggage lol
-
If we were all allowed to just walk about town topless without people making us feel like crap, this topic wouldn't even exist ;3
:lovey:
:lovey:
:lovey:
:lovey:
-
Fight the power! Be a nudist!
I just want to add that when I was breastfeeding, I would just... whip it out in public, no cover (it's Florida, after all), and nobody ever even said anything to me. I got some looks but hey, that's their baggage lol
I did too. Where I'm from if you try and stop a woman breastfeeding, even if she takes her shirt off to do it, you're violating her human rights, and can be prosecuted.
-
I have watched children for many years and yes I have seen a huge change in children. I have worked with children now over 20 years. When I was a kid we were still playing with dolls at age 12. I remember riding my bike along with another friend in the neighborhood with dolls loaded in our bike basket. We would ride from my house to their house all day long. We were 11. No kid in school ever said anything to another one for the toys, dolls or items they were interested in. The only harassment I have had was about clothing. What I see now though is a very different picture. When it comes to teen pregnancy that has been an issue for many decades. Those teens can still raise beautiful children and be great mothers. What is different now though is parents are not home anymore with their kids. Children are given freedoms they should not have way too soon. They are allowed to watch programs they should not be watching. They are allowed to read books that are not healthy. They are not taught good morals and values quite often. They are allowed to have whatever behaviors they want and are not guided or disciplined. The schools have no rights to keep children's behavior in check. Teachers have no choice but to be victimized by seriously ill and out of control children. Our school systems are filled with kids that have been neglected, abused and left alone most of their lives. Many kids do not have a good family environment either that models anything normal to them. With the internet kids have access to things they do not need and with parents not being home its a recipe for serious problems. The problems with other kids making fun of kids that don't want to grow up too soon is high. I watched my little niece go from a child who loved dolls and toys to age 7 not wanting any because the kids at school said they were for babies. I am a child advocate. I don't like what has happend to our kids. My childhood was so carefree. My mother was home with me and when I was in school she worked only part time so she could be there for me. My extended family was there also.
I feel sorry for families today. Due to economy families can't provide the kind of home they would like for their kids. Many can't afford better schools for their children. A lot of families can't even feed their kids "living" food and have to feed them boxed foods just to get by. Mental related illness are on the rise in children. We have fantastic parents in the midst of all these things I mention. I don't not say that "all" are this way. A great many families though are this way. The parents that home school seem to have (in my observation) better luck with their kids because the influence of unhealthy kids are removed. They are able to put their kids into groups with other families and that peer influence and bully problem isn't so much a problem.
Do you know when I was a kid, Kindergarten was half days? Yep. Now we have kids in school at age two until 6pm. I don't blame parents for this fact...I blame the world for making other things more important than raising children well and making it impossible for parents to have the resources to nurture their kids the way they deserve as parents. I am not against both parents having careers its just something that I have watched takes time away from kids. Even the film stars talk about this fact. Someone else is raising their kids so we can have entertainment.
I watched kids have strong work ethics. I got my first job at age 15 back in the 80's. Now that same age 15 kid complains about work hours and doesn't want to do their job...misses work and doesn't call in...no work ethic. (Not all of them but many) I would never have thought to do that at that age. Substance abuse has always been an issue, but now we have it in our elementary schools. Now we have kids taking guns into schools. I am sorry, but in the 70's at my school...that never happened. The worst thing we did was wear Pink Floyd T-shirts that upset our teachers. Now girls go to school with hardly any clothes on really.
When the world changes the kids have no choice but to be raised differently and without a lot of what they need. Sure are growing up too soon and it's a crying shame. I talk to kids today that see no value in anything from the past, their grandparents or parents and handed down special things. They can't even look you in the face because their face is staring into a smart phone all day. Its hard to be a parent...we have many good ones and even the teens can be in that category. I just wish we could go back to simple days when things were better. Less TV...snail mail....and kids running around in the neighborhood instead of clicking buttons on a video game.
Oh and the things I mention are for families in any economic status with normal healthy children. For parents with special needs children its a totally different story. The world needs to have a lot more compassion for these precious children and embrace them and make them a part of things. We have come a long way as a society for kids with needs, but we have a long way to go when it comes to judgmental attitudes towards the parents of kids. Not all behavioral problems are caused by parents and environments..some are birth related. So we can't group all kids in the same category because of this fact. My heart goes out to these families. They are trying so hard. One can't love children without first loving a parent and reaching out to offer help. When you care for the parents and help them too it helps the little ones.
-
To each their own, but I have a co-worker that won't let his daughters (14 & 8) watch any sorta love (kissing is too much sometimes) scene in a movie. I understand that & can understand it, but the ironic part is that his son was in the office talking about the graphic video games he plays like it was perfectly normal.
He told me his fave part of the game is chopping some woman's head off, cause it makes the blood splatter on the screen. "It is soooo cool! I try to kill all the women!"
So sex & love is bad while graphic violence is good.
I seriously worry about our country sometimes.
Oh & I am a total crabby old woman with the attire some of the kids wear these days, but its not my place to judge another as there might be circumstances I am unaware of with the clothing. :)
-
ugh, that annoys me too. Because sex is soooo bad, and the kids should never see it! Way to ensure your kids have hang ups when they're older.
-
I may get shunned for my next statement.
Dealing with a child with Autism, there are days when I wish he was "normal". He's 8, he can't ride a bike, he can't tie his shoes. All he wants to do is play his Nintendo or DSi. (Which he's getting a 3DS for Christmas, when I told everyone I didn't want him to have anymore video games. But now I feel like an ass because his grandmother went out of her way to get him some awesome Mario/Star Wars game with it. So, he'll be allowed to play it.)
He doesn't have friends who want him to come over and play because he doesn't get along with many children. But our neighbors kids, when they're over, teach him how to play Hide n Seek, Tag, old school games outside. They play with chalk. Her kids wear short shorts, but they're wearing leggings, they don't backtalk their mother. (My son backtalks ALL the time, no respect for us.) Her 2 year old son runs around in just his diaper and once he was out there naked. Lol. (She didn't even see him out there with his siblings, but tell you what, she rushed out and dragged him in the house when she finally saw him.)
Maybe it's just where I live, but the older kids are... jerks, for lack of better word. They look down on my son because he doesn't act the way they've been taught kids should act. But the kids 10 and under, they rally with my son. Autism is VERY prevalent around here, seems to be an even higher number of Autistic children where I live. In the schools, in Kindergarten, an Autism specialist comes in and talks to the kids about Autism, so they won't be scared that this little boy is going to be different from them. I mean, my son has attacked the teachers in front of these kids... and they still play with him. (As much as he lets them.)
And some of these kids dress like adults. But, my son doesn't see that. You know what my son sees? He sees a girl in clothing with a Mario plush toy... and she's his friend. :)
I may think a child is dressed inappropriately, but if that same child is going to be friendly with my son and treat him like he isn't different (because he is aware of it), then so be it. I'll invite her over to play with him any day she'd like.
On the breastfeeding and baby clothing, I want to show y'all one of my favorite things. I adore this newborn hat!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/98147587/sale-fun-crocheted-boobie-beanie
I think it's clever. :D
-
Ivaness, I love everything about your post. :lovey: :hug:
That is what it should all be about. We need to stop slut shaming and judging people because of clothing or sexual behaviour, and start treating them like human beings. Just like everyone is.
Also, that beanie is hilarious.
-
Ivaness, I love everything about your post. :lovey: :hug:
That is what it should all be about. We need to stop slut shaming and judging people because of clothing or sexual behaviour, and start treating them like human beings. Just like everyone is.
Also, that beanie is hilarious.
I actually feel like my opinions have changed since my first post here. XD
If a 9 year old is walking around LIKE an adult, then, obviously, something has gone very very wrong in her life and someone needs to intervene. :(
-
Aww Ivaness, you sound like an awesome mommy!
-
Aww Ivaness, you sound like an awesome mommy!
Ha... I'm not. I'm impatient, wildly so. I get frustrated quickly and it's rubbed off on him. :( He's such a good kid but he deserves better than me, tell you that for free.
I'm worried that as he grows, he becomes an adult like that. He becomes even more disrespectful, out of hand. I'm worried that he won't be able to live on his own, have a family, whatnot.
Every parents fear.
Sorry to ahve derailed the topic.
-
Speaking as someone who's mom bailed @ an early age, your son is an obnoxiously lucky kid to have ya - you are amazing :)
-
Fight the power! Be a nudist!
I just want to add that when I was breastfeeding, I would just... whip it out in public, no cover (it's Florida, after all), and nobody ever even said anything to me. I got some looks but hey, that's their baggage lol
Don't you mean boobage?
-
Do you know when I was a kid, Kindergarten was half days? Yep. Now we have kids in school at age two until 6pm.
I think that differs by school district. In the school district my children attend, Kindergarten is still half days. The morning kids go from 9 am to 12:20 pm, and the afternoon kids from 11:00 am to 3:05 (the discrepancy in time is that the afternoon kids stay for lunch). During the overlap time is when they do art, sharing, computer, have assemblies, or things that aren't quite as "academic" (like working on reading, writing, and math skills). But each group is small, like 15 - 16, so that when there is the overlap, it's 30 - 32. Which is why during the overlap they don't do the overly academic things.
Of course the school offers their CDC program which parents utilize if they are both working. But in the CDC they also offer help with homework and other enrichment activities.
-
And some of these kids dress like adults. But, my son doesn't see that. You know what my son sees? He sees a girl in clothing with a Mario plush toy... and she's his friend. :)
I may think a child is dressed inappropriately, but if that same child is going to be friendly with my son and treat him like he isn't different (because he is aware of it), then so be it. I'll invite her over to play with him any day she'd like.
You're spot on! Kids who treat other kids nicely, I would love to see more of it not just in children but teenagers and adults too.
<3 Kids definitely have their own perspective and it is one that hasn't been carved into a shame/judge attitude.
Actually I still see things much differently than other people! :lol: I like to see all the different sides and perspectives of each issue that comes up and I tend not to sit on one side, but rather the all seeing fence. heee
That is what it should all be about. We need to stop slut shaming and judging people because of clothing or sexual behaviour, and start treating them like human beings. Just like everyone is.
Human beings indeed! :satisfied:
-
Teen pregnancy has been going down decade after decade and, honestly, was quite prevalent in the 1940s, 1950s, etc. Remember, also, that it used to be not uncommon for girls to marry younger--right out of high school, for example. It's a lot easier to wait till marriage when marriage occurs shortly after your hormones kick in!
Would you really like teenagers of the 1940s or 1950s more than today's? Would you still like them after a couple white teens explained their sincere belief that certain races are "inferior"? Or that women who try to enter the workforce after WWII are "stealing jobs" from veterans and they should just get back in the kitchen where they belong? Because it's not fair, you know, to only celebrate the good things about teens of previous decades while only looking at the bad things about teenagers of today.
In general, teenagers and kids that I've met today are fine. There are some rude ones; there always have been, in any generation. There are also a lot of good ones, who volunteer (more than in my day) and care about the world they live in (more than teens of the Greedy 80s) and who have big dreams. No, they are not perfect. Who is?
Anyway, replace "those kids, always staring into SmartPhones" with "those kids, always hypnotized by the boombox" and, well, you have just parroted the opinion of a million parents critizing teens of the 80s. The more things change the more they stay the same.
-
Children are not sexually active creatures in my opinion. I cannot agree with the folks who say it doesn't matter or it is setting a bad example that will stunt their sexual behavior later in life and cause repressed sexual feelings. When children are emotionally mature enough to handle sex they should be well educated. Sex is not a shameful or horrible thing. But sex with a child is. To me it is that simple. Children should not be sex symbols. Now I know everyone disagrees about when a person is ready for this stuff and I think that is because everyone develops at different rates. Call me a prude all day long but I will never be okay with children being thought of in a sexual way by adults.
-
Children are not sexually active creatures in my opinion. I cannot agree with the folks who say it doesn't matter or it is setting a bad example that will stunt their sexual behavior later in life and cause repressed sexual feelings. When children are emotionally mature enough to handle sex they should be well educated. Sex is not a shameful or horrible thing. But sex with a child is. To me it is that simple. Children should not be sex symbols. Now I know everyone disagrees about when a person is ready for this stuff and I think that is because everyone develops at different rates. Call me a prude all day long but I will never be okay with children being thought of in a sexual way by adults.
You're right and that's exactly how I feel.
-
Just wanted to state that I am not a parent, but I still have my own opinions on things.
I read through most of these posts and I can say that I sympathize with those who have Autistic kids. My little cousin is Autistic and I have seen how many struggles my aunt has gone through with raising him. He's in his teens now and a lot more laid back, but while he was young he was prone to a lot of meltdowns.
I am pretty liberal about some of this stuff. I feel like preserving childhood is actually something that's pretty new in this world. People used to have babies young, especially girls.
Not to say that I think teens should get pregnant. In today's culture and economy, it's just too rough on the teen and the teen's parents.
I know when I was in my teens I was personally far to immature to raise a kid. I think with the changing cultures, it causes young people to mature less quickly. You were pretty much forced to grown up quickly in the olden times.
When it comes to young girls willingly wearing skimpy clothes, that's their choice. But I find it to be a little nasty that a lot of clothes for pre-teen girls are like this, as some of you have said that is all you can find. But if she wants to wear it? Then so be it.
What I DISLIKE about this is that it caters to the double-standard that women have to always wear skimpy clothes to be attractive so obviously you must have the body for it to. And I will admit toys like the Bratz dolls also can instill these feelings. I really just hate how young girls are taught to hate their bodies. The world is a more judgmental place on women when it comes to looks.
Now a bout teen sex, this is my opinion. Please don't flame me for it. I feel like it's okay and healthy for teens to be interested in sex, experiment, and even engage in it. What I find wrong about this is that most teens won't use birth control. It's easily accessible yet so many teens fail at this. I think safe sex needs to be advocated more in school.
These are just my thoughts.
-
Dazzle, I agree with you on the sex part. I started at 16 and growing up, I was taught that it was something only married couples do.
If I had thought my mother was more approachable, I would have gotten on birth control and not had my son.
But, I'm glad I didn't. My son is huge blessing to me, Autism and all.
Parents need to step up and teach their kids about sex, and DEFINITELY about safe sex. It isn't the schools responsibility to teach kids about sex. Ugh.
I wish my mother had opened up more. (We learned about it at church, that you'd go to hell if you engaged in sex before marriage. Frightening stuff, that.)
-
Children are not sexually active creatures in my opinion. I cannot agree with the folks who say it doesn't matter or it is setting a bad example that will stunt their sexual behavior later in life and cause repressed sexual feelings. When children are emotionally mature enough to handle sex they should be well educated. Sex is not a shameful or horrible thing. But sex with a child is. To me it is that simple. Children should not be sex symbols. Now I know everyone disagrees about when a person is ready for this stuff and I think that is because everyone develops at different rates. Call me a prude all day long but I will never be okay with children being thought of in a sexual way by adults.
I don't think anyone is saying that sex with children is good. It has pretty much been proven to be harmful. Some people said young kids chose their own clothes, and clothes that might been viewed as sexual by adults isn't how they view them. When I was quite young I hiked my skirts up really high. It had nothing to do with how I looked and everything to do with how easy it was to run around in them.
I also said that not letting your kids watch shows with some sexuality (I'm not saying you should let them watch R rated movies, more PG stuff) when you let them play super violent video games is so wrong. You can stunt your kids sexuality if you act like sex is evil.
-
Do you know when I was a kid, Kindergarten was half days? Yep. Now we have kids in school at age two until 6pm.
You are actually hitting a VERY sensitive point for me, and im sure others as well. *Please* get your facts straight or think before posting <3
2 year olds arent going to 'school', kids dont go to 'school' until they are 4 or 5, depending on the region. Daycares are actually a very important part of helping with the childs development (did you know that the most critical time for learning is between the ages of 0 to 5? And that whatever happens in a daycare is supposed to maximize this?). I agree that its harder for parents to stay at home with thier kids and that raising their kids is a good thing (I was fortunate to have my mom with me and did not go to daycare...and like you I had 1/2 days in kindergarten)..but as stated above, your comment threw me right off.
Im not going to get into it since it will derail the topic, but I did need to point it out.
-
You can stunt your kids sexuality if you act like sex is evil.
This is so very true, especially with young girls. Only in recent times have we been more accepting of women's sexuality, and I think it's an important path to keep traveling.
For example, my grandmother would never talk to my mom about sex. She was SO sheltered that she thought she was pregnant just by holding hands with my dad when they were teens and was very terrified she was going to be a teen mother. I personally feel a parent should be open about sex with their kids. My mom and I are quite open with each other about it.
-
Melodys_angel, I agree. I am actually an at home mum, but my son had some major developmental changes when we sent him to pre-school at 3. It actually really annoys me that I can't send my daughter to child care or preschool because of cost. I think she'd get loads from it.
-
Movies, magazines and music shape our children also. I was watching a documentary on Child Occult killers. This one child was a bright young student and was well behaved until he started listening to death metal and reading all sorts of occult books. How this kid murdered this girl, was a ritual he saw in a movie and copied it. He thought that if he did it, satin would accept him. Also stars in magazines really thin, almost anorexic etc.. Girls want to copy that. I see it, I know about it, I've witnessed it with one of my old friends. I remember her saying "I wish I was as thin as the Olsen twins." And what'ya know she became an anorexic.
Post Merge: December 07, 2012, 06:49:57 PM
You can stunt your kids sexuality if you act like sex is evil.
This is so very true, especially with young girls. Only in recent times have we been more accepting of women's sexuality, and I think it's an important path to keep traveling.
For example, my grandmother would never talk to my mom about sex. She was SO sheltered that she thought she was pregnant just by holding hands with my dad when they were teens and was very terrified she was going to be a teen mother. I personally feel a parent should be open about sex with their kids. My mom and I are quite open with each other about it.
My mother NEVER spoke to us about sex until we had sexual education at school. I think sexual education is horrible because it was taught to us in grade 6. We shouldn't need to know about that at that age?! I didn't want to know ANYTHING about it so I remember always leaving the class when it was on. I came home asking my mother what a condom was, I remember her jaw dropped and she asked where I had learned that from. My mother would NEVER talk to us about it before that time. It was a forbidden subject, she acted as if it was evil indeed.
-
I love the argument that children will want to have sex if you give them condoms. And I'm not saying anyone is making that argument here! That's just one that um.. certain groups say. It's a stupid stupid argument.
I don't believe children should sexualize themselves. Teach a girl how to find her own self-worth in a way that is age appropriate AND healthy. I really can't believe that a 5 year old will wear a pair of pants that say "Juicy" on the bottom. I mean..really.
-
Kids should definitely be educated about sex by sixth grade. Many kids will have their hormones revving up by that point.
As far as knowing about sex, I knew about it in general terms by first grade, just from "playground talk". The irony is that it was a private religious school that didn't have very extensive / good sex education, so a loooot of misconceptions persisted. Two of my classmates got pregnant in eighth grade, and it was not even a very large class.
-
Kids should definitely be educated about sex by sixth grade. Many kids will have their hormones revving up by that point.
As far as knowing about sex, I knew about it in general terms by first grade, just from "playground talk". The irony is that it was a private religious school that didn't have very extensive / good sex education, so a loooot of misconceptions persisted. Two of my classmates got pregnant in eighth grade, and it was not even a very large class.
I don't think they should be educated until about 15 years of age. 10 years old just seems too young to me :(
-
Kids should definitely be educated about sex by sixth grade. Many kids will have their hormones revving up by that point.
As far as knowing about sex, I knew about it in general terms by first grade, just from "playground talk". The irony is that it was a private religious school that didn't have very extensive / good sex education, so a loooot of misconceptions persisted. Two of my classmates got pregnant in eighth grade, and it was not even a very large class.
I don't think they should be educated until about 15 years of age. 10 years old just seems too young to me :(
I can see where you are coming from because 10 year olds aren't very physically mature. But around age 12/13 a lot of kids are experiencing puberty. I think kids should learn about sex ed/puberty while they are going through it, ie grade 6 or 7. This is when I learned about it, and it was great. I am very happy we were taught about these things at school. Sure it may be a little bit of an awkward topic to discuss, but even if a person is not going to use this puberty/sex information right away, they can remember it for when it becomes relevant.
Lots of young women have a mature body by grade 7, and need to know how to protect themselves.
In some places in the world, I don't believe they have sexual education. My husband went to school in the middle east around grade 8, and there were still boys in grade 8 there who absolutely had no idea where babies come from. I wonder when a boy like that would learn about the subject, possibly from talking to friends?
I think people who have the ability to reproduce should at least have the right to be taught that sex may lead to a life altering change.
Sorry for kind of derailing there, but back to the main topic: I don't think things have gotten worse with children over the decades. I think we are remembering things fondly from our childhoods, when we were busy with school, friends, and other activities and were not particularly concerned with such things as sexuality.
-
Kids should definitely be educated about sex by sixth grade. Many kids will have their hormones revving up by that point.
As far as knowing about sex, I knew about it in general terms by first grade, just from "playground talk". The irony is that it was a private religious school that didn't have very extensive / good sex education, so a loooot of misconceptions persisted. Two of my classmates got pregnant in eighth grade, and it was not even a very large class.
Agreed. My sister had a classmate in her 7th grade class who was pregnant. 7th grade. Not to mention the skyrocketing rates of STDs among teens and young adults. A lot of teens are going to have sex - they're human. Might as well show them how to have it responsibly and safely instead of treating it as a taboo and then ending up with an unplanned pregnancy - or worse.
Post Merge: December 08, 2012, 05:23:35 AM
Fight the power! Be a nudist!
I just want to add that when I was breastfeeding, I would just... whip it out in public, no cover (it's Florida, after all), and nobody ever even said anything to me. I got some looks but hey, that's their baggage lol
I did too. Where I'm from if you try and stop a woman breastfeeding, even if she takes her shirt off to do it, you're violating her human rights, and can be prosecuted.
Also agreed! I breastfed my son until he was 13 months old and I've whipped 'em out in many places. I'd get some stares but that's their problem, not mine.
A woman did once say to me "why are you doing that? Children are around!" And I responded "and a lot of them were probably fed this way. Your point is?"
-
I don't think there is any way to set a specific age. I think that maturity varies too much. There could be some 10 year olds out there who are ready and need sexual education early because they are curious. Learning from us is much better than what they will pick up or guess on their own. Some kids aren't ready until 15-16-17, dare I say older than that? It's not so much about the age for me. But I see where you are coming from because even a child who is not quite ready might face pressure from others in their age group who are ready. It's a delicate balance and I think it's important to look at each child on an individual basis.
Breast feeding is another one of those completely non sexual things that gets stigmatized because people feel like nudity is inherently obscene. But I have to say I find breastfeeding to be natural. We are kind of made for it. We have boobs, they make milk, babies eat the milk. I am all for protecting people from seeing ludeness, but to me breastfeeding is in no way lude.
-
I had sex ed in 5th AND 6th grade (which would be 1989/1990/1991). Granted the discussion about intercourse wasn't in the curriculum until sixth grade, but in the fifth grade curriculum it was about what happens during puberty and the changes to your body and reproductive system. And I got my period in sixth grade (which was earlier than the majority of my friends by a few years), so it was nice having that information in school. I also had sex ed again in 7th grade and 9th grade (where in 9th grade we were given condoms and shown how to put them on using a banana - that sent nervous laughter through the room!). But even before 5th grade my parents had talked to me about sex - and although I was raised in a conservative, religious household, sex was never presented as something evil or vile. Just something to wait to do until marriage, and with someone you love. (which actually, I did, and glad for it).
I admit though I was waiting for my oldest daughter to have questions last year when I was pregnant with my fourth child. She was in first grade at the time, and knew we were having a baby, and she was always full of questions, yet she never once asked how the baby got there or how she was going to come out. My daughter was more concerned with how the baby got food, lol.
-
Oh man, Ashes. I remember asking my mom where babies came from when she was pregnant with my sister. I was four, but it was one of those bizarre memories that is frozen in your brain forever. Somehow, I had the impression that my dad had put a seen in a hole in her neck (???) and that it traveled down to her tummy. I actually asked if I could watch next time they did it! XD Oh gawd, if only I had understood how it really worked!
I never had sex ed in school. When I was in 5th grade, sex ed was taught to 6th graders. Then, when I went to middle school, it was switched to 5th grade. So it was always one year off for me. I did get "the talk" when I was in 3rd grade, but I didn't understand much of it. I pretty much learned everything I knew from friends and then when I was older, the internet (thank you Google, saving me from asking my parents the embarrassing questions!). But I did have a few holes in my knowledge that could have ended really badly for me... but I lucked out. So yeah, I think it's important to teach kids about this kind of thing so they can be smart about it and not just rely on luck.
-
Oh man, Ashes. I remember asking my mom where babies came from when she was pregnant with my sister. I was four, but it was one of those bizarre memories that is frozen in your brain forever. Somehow, I had the impression that my dad had put a seen in a hole in her neck (???) and that it traveled down to her tummy. I actually asked if I could watch next time they did it! XD Oh gawd, if only I had understood how it really worked!
:lmao: It is funny how little kids think of how things work.
-
A year before I had sex education I remember I didn't know what sex was or where babies came from *rolls eyes*
-
I'm 18 and I must say I agree that children are becoming more and more disrespectful and are growing up more quickly by every generation. For example: I was looking at my school photos from 2nd grade at primary school and everyone was wearing simple clothes, mainly tracksuits and not much brands (except maybe nike or all star trainers) so we could play carefree. Today kids at same age wear same clothes as adults but smaller size and most of it is branded! And their gadgets: everyone has iphone or ipod touch, their own laptop etc. So by looking like miniture adults they are also often trying to act like them: someone earlier mentioned how it is embarrassing to play with dolls at age of 10! I was playing with pokemon and mlp until 6th grade, and that wasn't so long ago!
And another thing that surprised me when I was in 8th grade was when a 1st grader cursed my mom (in my language there is very extensive list of swear words and phrases most of which include mothers lol) because I was in her way! My friends and I were really shocked because when we were her age we were afraid even to talk to someone a year or two older than us, let alone someone double of our age!
And now to my generation: Most of the teens go clubbing on weekends (you don't have to be 18 to go) and get drunk, have sex etc. I personally don't like clubbing, but I sometimes go to concerts with my friends or we go to the cinema or just hang out at someone's place. When I'm not with my friends and not doing anything for school I'm drawing, playing the guitar and video games, reading books and manga, watching anime and "normal" cartoons and series, learning Japanese and programming... I'm saying all this because I've noticed that most of the clubbing/getting drunk/having sex teens don't have any hobbies or anything else in their life except for that and school. I have a really close friend who is one of them and she is depressed most of the time because she can't find the right One. She goes out every other weekend, gets drunk and hopes she will hook up with someone who will be her true love (and that's what her other friends do, and friends of friends and on and on... some of them do it just for fun, though), but when she finds out they just used her she gets her heart broken. When I ask her why is she doing it she says she doesn't want to be alone (alone and single are, sadly, synonyms to most people). I tell her I'm her friend and I'm with her, she says "yeah, I know, I love you and all, but you don't have a ****." First time I thought she was just joking, but later I realised that she was serious. And when I suggest her a good read she just laughs at me: "Why would I be reading a book on Saturday's night when there will be so many guys out there?"
I sometimes feel out of place because I don't understand my own generation: why is their meaning of life to get drunk just for sake of getting drunk while not remembering having a "good time" or to be with special somepony (oh, I just love the term lol) just to not be single and to have sex a couple of times?
[edit for language - kaoskat]
-
Kids these days around me are pretty awful. I know one girl that had a cell phone when she was in kindergarden because her mom wanted the girl to be able to talk to her whenever the girl was with someone else (sleepover, with grandparents, etc). Starting in middle school (6th grade), the girls dress too maturely. Many are wearing too short skirts, heels, and makeup. Many middle schoolers have relationships. My sister's friend (8th grade at the time) almost had sex with her boyfriend (who was a 9th grader) but a friend of mine talked her out of it. She has contacts and both her and my sister dye their hair. I'm 18 and I've NEVER dyed my hair! My 7th grade cousin dresses like an 18 year old and wears a lot more makeup than I do and has her own laptop. She looks like she is 21! I see middle-schoolers with "nicer"/more expensive (touch screen, internet access) cellphones than me. It's sad seeing all these kids rushing to grow up and waste their childhoods. I would give anything to be 5 again. I miss being a kid :huh:
-
"Your body is inappropriate and needs to be covered up at all times" is the message, essentially.
It's no wonder that when some girls are growing up, awash in their own personal insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, they turn to low-cut cleavage-baring shirts and "JUICY" shorts. It's flirty, it's teasing, it's giving others a glimpse of something "taboo", and it's unfortunately a very easy way to make them sexy and interesting to the troglodytian male population that they've been led to believe is superior to them for... some reason.
If we were all allowed to just walk about town topless without people making us feel like crap, this topic wouldn't even exist ;3
Wow I thought I was the only person who thought this. This is like a revelation. :faint: I wish I could "Like" this five million times. Omgs. I feel so much rage at the chest-covering thing. SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS THREAD = AWESOME.
-
I don't know that kids these days are any different than they were when I was a kid- probably depends more on where you live. Kids grow up faster in bigger cities I think.
The issue of whether young girls should wear revealing clothing or not is a disturbing topic. I find it sad that society would sooner have us blame the 8 year old (or her mom) for looking "sexy" rather than the man looking at that 8 year old as a sex object. Something wrong with that...
-
I noticed that kids are trying to appear more older, but their minds and attitude isn´t. They are rude, cruel and bad behavior. Even parents are afraid of them. They do effort to pass school, teacher has to pass them. They reward their lazyness.
-
The issue of whether young girls should wear revealing clothing or not is a disturbing topic. I find it sad that society would sooner have us blame the 8 year old (or her mom) for looking "sexy" rather than the man looking at that 8 year old as a sex object. Something wrong with that...
This!
-
I have a friend who is a nurse and she works in the maternity ward. She said there was a 9 year old girl giving birth :shocked: Her mother refused to let her have an epidrural (can they have epidurals at that age?) because she said, "you deserve all this pain for having sex". The girl screamed so loud everyone in the hospital heard it :shocked:
I can't believe 9 year olds are having sex. I was playing with ponies and Barbies at that age! Wasn't thinking about boys and sex and stuff. It's insane :shocked:
-
I have a friend who is a nurse and she works in the maternity ward. She said there was a 9 year old girl giving birth :shocked: Her mother refused to let her have an epidrural (can they have epidurals at that age?) because she said, "you deserve all this pain for having sex". The girl screamed so loud everyone in the hospital heard it :shocked:
Oh my gods...what the hell?!?! :cry: That poor girl!! How could her mother do that?! :cry:
-
I have a friend who is a nurse and she works in the maternity ward. She said there was a 9 year old girl giving birth :shocked: Her mother refused to let her have an epidrural (can they have epidurals at that age?) because she said, "you deserve all this pain for having sex". The girl screamed so loud everyone in the hospital heard it :shocked:
I can't believe 9 year olds are having sex. I was playing with ponies and Barbies at that age! Wasn't thinking about boys and sex and stuff. It's insane :shocked:
As mean as that sounds it may not be a bad thing. The girl may think alot about getting knocked up again!
-
If people think kids are growing up too fast, tough. Honestly, kids are a product of society. If society is hypersexualizing women and children, that's how kids are going to be brought up. It's not the kids' problems to decide how society views them; it's society's responsibility.
That being said, I believe there's a difference between embracing your sexuality/appearance and being forced to look sexualized for society's benefit. Children, men, women, they can all dress how they please. I just have a problem when society pretty much dictates that girls are supposed to be a pretty face and then people complain that girls and women are dressing too provocatively.
-
I have a friend who is a nurse and she works in the maternity ward. She said there was a 9 year old girl giving birth :shocked: Her mother refused to let her have an epidrural (can they have epidurals at that age?) because she said, "you deserve all this pain for having sex". The girl screamed so loud everyone in the hospital heard it :shocked:
I can't believe 9 year olds are having sex. I was playing with ponies and Barbies at that age! Wasn't thinking about boys and sex and stuff. It's insane :shocked:
Okay that is just wrong.
Poor kid D:
-
I have a friend who is a nurse and she works in the maternity ward. She said there was a 9 year old girl giving birth :shocked: Her mother refused to let her have an epidrural (can they have epidurals at that age?) because she said, "you deserve all this pain for having sex". The girl screamed so loud everyone in the hospital heard it :shocked:
I can't believe 9 year olds are having sex. I was playing with ponies and Barbies at that age! Wasn't thinking about boys and sex and stuff. It's insane :shocked:
As mean as that sounds it may not be a bad thing. The girl may think alot about getting knocked up again!
...Are you serious? Like, am I on Candid Camera right now or something??? If not you are an excellent troll, because this post absolutely makes my blood boil.
I can't believe there are immature, mean-spirited people right here on the Arena who would literally offer a Nelson Muntz-esque "Ha-ha!" at the prospect of a 9-year-old being in pain. Wow! Serves ya right, little girl! You're totally emotionally-developed enough to make all of your own decisions concerning sexuality, and there's no way you could have been coerced into having sex by someone you thought you could trust (or even raped!) Yeah man, the pain of giving birth is totally the absolute, positive, number 1 factor of this whole equation that is going to stop you from getting pregnant on purpose again!
I hope I never run into you at the supermarket.
-
that is WRONG. I'm sorry to anyone if anyone here got knocked up at 9 years of age, but dear god, I'm 17 and genuinely, I've got better things to be doing than thinking about stuff like that let alone doing stuff like that. That's so genuinely awful. Makes me feel sick to my stomach, it's just appauling. 9. 9. 9. That's just terrible :sad: And I mean that in a kind way, that a 9 year old could've been mistreated and abused into that happening. Genuinely hurts :(
-
The issue of whether young girls should wear revealing clothing or not is a disturbing topic. I find it sad that society would sooner have us blame the 8 year old (or her mom) for looking "sexy" rather than the man looking at that 8 year old as a sex object. Something wrong with that...
Parents have a responsibility to rear, protect, and teach their children - so yes, I can blame a parent for having their young child wear clothing that is inappropriate for their age. And men who look at children as sex objects probably still will do so, regardless of what the children wear. (And I wish I could lock up everyone who commits any act of violence or sexual abuse against children - there is no excuse for it).
-
My daughter is eight and how in the world would a nine year old be doing that!!! He mother is also at fault. She is the mother and should have more control over her child! I am not going to get into this whole thing. But this is all very sad :(
-
The issue of whether young girls should wear revealing clothing or not is a disturbing topic. I find it sad that society would sooner have us blame the 8 year old (or her mom) for looking "sexy" rather than the man looking at that 8 year old as a sex object. Something wrong with that...
Parents have a responsibility to rear, protect, and teach their children - so yes, I can blame a parent for having their young child wear clothing that is inappropriate for their age. And men who look at children as sex objects probably still will do so, regardless of what the children wear. (And I wish I could lock up everyone who commits any act of violence or sexual abuse against children - there is no excuse for it).
I have to agree with this entirely, it is the parents responsibilty up to a certain age, to protect the child and to ensure they are dressed appropriately, as to what age this is, that is a topic of great debate, but there is a certain requirement of parents to protect their children and ensure they are not dressed promiscuously. That's what I feel anyway, it's a sad world we live in that children are allowed to dress inappropriately in clothing that some adults wouldn't even wear in public. :sigh:
-
The issue of whether young girls should wear revealing clothing or not is a disturbing topic. I find it sad that society would sooner have us blame the 8 year old (or her mom) for looking "sexy" rather than the man looking at that 8 year old as a sex object. Something wrong with that...
Parents have a responsibility to rear, protect, and teach their children - so yes, I can blame a parent for having their young child wear clothing that is inappropriate for their age. And men who look at children as sex objects probably still will do so, regardless of what the children wear. (And I wish I could lock up everyone who commits any act of violence or sexual abuse against children - there is no excuse for it).
I have to agree with this entirely, it is the parents responsibilty up to a certain age, to protect the child and to ensure they are dressed appropriately, as to what age this is, that is a topic of great debate, but there is a certain requirement of parents to protect their children and ensure they are not dressed promiscuously. That's what I feel anyway, it's a sad world we live in that children are allowed to dress inappropriately in clothing that some adults wouldn't even wear in public. :sigh:
That is exactly the argument against women wearing certain clothes! It makes me so angry. You know what, perverts are perverts regardless of what people wear. I once had a guy say to me "I wasn't perving on your kid I was just trying to read what his jacket said" It was the single most creepy thing I've ever had a person say to me. Why would I expect he was perving? It makes me think he was. And you know what my son was wearing. Winter snow clothes. As concealing and non-sexual as possible.
Yes, parents should protect their children. That means physically being around them and not putting them in dangerous situations. Not stifling their sense of self. Not teaching them sex is evil. Not slut shaming themselves and others. Actually, physically protecting them.
-
Yes perverts are perverts, but physically dressing a child or allowing a child to dress in something extremely revealing, and I mean to the edge of appropriate means, almost encourages them. I once wore something a little shorter than I would normally wear, and when I normally don't get attention (and I'm extremely pleased this way) I suddenly attracted pervy men, so yes, dressing inappopraitely almost encourages them. And I do agree, up tp a certain age, children do need physical protection, they may deny it, but they can't make fully-fledged instinctive decisions until they are ready and matured enough, I know, I made decisions when I was 10 about what to wear to a birthday party and ignored my mum's plea's for me to change, I got negative attention from men, and at that age, made me sick. -_- :huh:
-
And I had my boob groped walking home from the bus stop once when I was wearing a men's t-shirt and jeans. I still don't think clothes are the real issue here.
-
True clothes aren't the real issue, but my feeling is that clothing adds to the overall problem. No, they're not a major contributor, and I don't personally feel it's a major problem, but it's one of the many problems that mount up to worsening pervert attitudes. (it's actually super difficult to express my feelings, my words aren't helping me today :think: Please come back brain.)
-
We will have to agree to disagree, then.
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
To be fair, I was wearing this shirt, and for all I know the guy was just trying to earn an extra life or something *canned laughter*
-
Sounds like he was, I would've batted him one! I appreciate what you wearing wasn't appropriate, but what I'm trying to say is that if you had been wearing sommething very inappropriate and attention grabbing, it would attract more negative attention than when wearing something completely innocent, say for example 2 girls, both 3 years of age, both equally pretty, one wearing a short pink tutu and ballet vest for a friend's birthday party, the other, wearing winter wrap ups, scarf, padded jacket, completely innocent, would you agree although both girls could attract negative attention, little ballet girl would attract more attention, be it negative or positive because it is an attention grabbing eye catching get up. Think I explained myself how I wanted to this time, better than last time in my eyes anyway! Phew.
-
Saply, you made me lol at sexual assault. That ain't cool.
Icecrystaline, you know what the key outfit for sexual predators to be attracted to is? The school Uniform. It's not even considered to be deviant to think young girls in uniform to be sexual attractive. And uniforms are designed so kids look respectable and non-sexual.
If you received negative attention from men at 10, your mum should have intervened. Not in the case of making you change, but getting you out of that situation. She must have known something was up, or she wouldn't have asked you to change.
-
Saply, you made me lol at sexual assault. That ain't cool.
Icecrystaline, you know what the key outfit for sexual predators to be attracted to is? The school Uniform. It's not even considered to be deviant to think young girls in uniform to be sexual attractive. And uniforms are designed so kids look respectable and non-sexual.
If you received negative attention from men at 10, your mum should have intervened. Not in the case of making you change, but getting you out of that situation. She must have known something was up, or she wouldn't have asked you to change.
It wasn't that revealing. It was entirely covered, but it was clingy material on my top, and she asked me to change because it made me look fat, it was for a birthday party, I got looks but nothing more thank god. I learnt my lesson, but my mum was not to blame in this situation, she begged me to change, but I was a determined, rocket up butt kid who didn't listen. I always take my mothers advice now. In this instance this was my fault, I only got one or two looks, probably more 'what the heck is the kid wearing' rather than 'god that's hot'. A podgy 10 year old isn't 'hot'. And I agree, school uniform is one of the worst offenders by far. What was once innocent, is now a reveared sexual out, although I will say far too sexual where I live, girls my own age wearing skirts extremely inappropriate due to the length and knee high socks, it's attrocious. :(
-
The issue of whether young girls should wear revealing clothing or not is a disturbing topic. I find it sad that society would sooner have us blame the 8 year old (or her mom) for looking "sexy" rather than the man looking at that 8 year old as a sex object. Something wrong with that...
Parents have a responsibility to rear, protect, and teach their children - so yes, I can blame a parent for having their young child wear clothing that is inappropriate for their age. And men who look at children as sex objects probably still will do so, regardless of what the children wear. (And I wish I could lock up everyone who commits any act of violence or sexual abuse against children - there is no excuse for it).
I have to agree with this entirely, it is the parents responsibilty up to a certain age, to protect the child and to ensure they are dressed appropriately, as to what age this is, that is a topic of great debate, but there is a certain requirement of parents to protect their children and ensure they are not dressed promiscuously. That's what I feel anyway, it's a sad world we live in that children are allowed to dress inappropriately in clothing that some adults wouldn't even wear in public. :sigh:
That is exactly the argument against women wearing certain clothes! It makes me so angry. You know what, perverts are perverts regardless of what people wear. I once had a guy say to me "I wasn't perving on your kid I was just trying to read what his jacket said" It was the single most creepy thing I've ever had a person say to me. Why would I expect he was perving? It makes me think he was. And you know what my son was wearing. Winter snow clothes. As concealing and non-sexual as possible.
Yes, parents should protect their children. That means physically being around them and not putting them in dangerous situations. Not stifling their sense of self. Not teaching them sex is evil. Not slut shaming themselves and others. Actually, physically protecting them.
There is nothing that says "sex is evil" by having them dress appropriately for their age. Sex is not appropriate for children. And having them dress in a manner that is wholesome and uplifting IS protecting them - it encourages them to be proud of their self worth and that they are more than sex objects.
-
The fact you see them as sex objects because they are wearing something revealing is a problem with you, not a problem with them. Having them be happy with how they are regardless of anything external is uplifting. Not teaching them they have to be prudish because you are.
I am certainly not saying you should go out and MAKE them wear revealing clothing, but people should let kids explore there own tastes.
-
That being said, I believe there's a difference between embracing your sexuality/appearance and being forced to look sexualized for society's benefit. Children, men, women, they can all dress how they please. I just have a problem when society pretty much dictates that girls are supposed to be a pretty face and then people complain that girls and women are dressing too provocatively.
Awesome post.
Also, I have the most problem with clothes that have writing on them. Anyone recall that infamous shirt for girls that said something like "My brother does my homework" because she's too pretty or such? And the generic "So cute/pretty/beautiful it hurts". Or the boys shirts that imply winning is everything. Stuff like that enrages me.
-
The real problem that I have is that the message so often seems to be "you should be careful of how your kid dresses in order to protect him or her from getting raped or sexualized" - instead of focusing on the aggressor who is actually doing something wrong-
I looked for someone who could communicate what I am saying a bit more clearly- Check out http://www.savedmonton.com/our-campaigns.html (http://www.savedmonton.com/our-campaigns.html) - They are a sexual assault awareness campaign that focuses on the aggressor- not the victim.
Typically, sexual assault awareness campaigns target potential victims by urging women to restrict their behavior. Research is telling us that targeting the behavior of victims is not only ineffective, but also contributes to and increases self-blame in survivors. Instead, the SAVE campaigns targets potential offenders - ultimately the ones who hold the power and responsibility to end sexual assault.. By addressing sexual assault without victim-blaming, we intend to mark Edmonton on the map as a model for other cities.
(from http://www.savedmonton.com/our-campaigns.html)
-
That is exactly the argument against women wearing certain clothes! It makes me so angry. You know what, perverts are perverts regardless of what people wear. I once had a guy say to me "I wasn't perving on your kid I was just trying to read what his jacket said" It was the single most creepy thing I've ever had a person say to me. Why would I expect he was perving? It makes me think he was. And you know what my son was wearing. Winter snow clothes. As concealing and non-sexual as possible.
Yes, parents should protect their children. That means physically being around them and not putting them in dangerous situations. Not stifling their sense of self. Not teaching them sex is evil. Not slut shaming themselves and others. Actually, physically protecting them.
This post = flawless. +1
-
There is nothing that says "sex is evil" by having them dress appropriately for their age. Sex is not appropriate for children. And having them dress in a manner that is wholesome and uplifting IS protecting them - it encourages them to be proud of their self worth and that they are more than sex objects.
I have to agree with this.
Making sure that your children dress appropriately is not 'slut shaming'. A child can express themselves without the need for inappropriate dress. And if they can't, if the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves is wearing inappropriate clothing, I believe there are bigger issues happening. Children push their boundaries. In my view it's my job as a parent to gauge how far to let them push and when to step in and push back. To me that is just part of being a parent, recognizing that sometimes I have the experience and knowledge to know what is best for my little one when they have other ideas about what they should and should not be allowed to do.
-
There is nothing that says "sex is evil" by having them dress appropriately for their age. Sex is not appropriate for children. And having them dress in a manner that is wholesome and uplifting IS protecting them - it encourages them to be proud of their self worth and that they are more than sex objects.
I have to agree with this.
Making sure that your children dress appropriately is not 'slut shaming'. A child can express themselves without the need for inappropriate dress. And if they can't, if the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves is wearing inappropriate clothing, I believe there are bigger issues happening. Children push their boundaries. In my view it's my job as a parent to gauge how far to let them push and when to step in and push back. To me that is just part of being a parent, recognizing that sometimes I have the experience and knowledge to know what is best for my little one when they have other ideas about what they should and should not be allowed to do.
You claim it's not slut shaming, then drop this line:
And if they can't, if the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves is wearing inappropriate clothing, I believe there are bigger issues happening.
Whether or not it is slut shaming, you are slut shaming.
-
The fact you see them as sex objects because they are wearing something revealing is a problem with you, not a problem with them. Having them be happy with how they are regardless of anything external is uplifting. Not teaching them they have to be prudish because you are.
I am certainly not saying you should go out and MAKE them wear revealing clothing, but people should let kids explore there own tastes.
I still fail to see how small children dressing modestly and age appropriate 1) makes me view them as sex objects and 2) makes me a prude. Sex is great - but it's still not for small children. Maybe you're doing a little projecting there.
-
I think the point that is trying to be made is:
Women regardless of age should be allowed to wear whatever they'd like and not be thought of as sex objects just because of it.
It's like people who say "Oh, you deserved to be raped because you dressed like a slut."
When I was 14 I was wearing a tight but not overly revealing shirt. A boy in my school grabbed my boob and when I told it to the teacher they said "Well, you shouldn't be wearing a tight shirt like that, it provokes people." :/
-
What do you think about them? Are they growing up too fast for their age?
I've noticed as the years are going by more and more are going out partying at 15 and younger, having babies at 13+, Being sexually active in grade 8 etc..
When I was a kid I played with My Little Ponies and barbies.. Not with my baby or with rude parts.
What do you think about the society these days?
Here is my honest opinion about the original post...
I don't think any of what you said is new or suddenly alarming. Tweens and teens have always, as a general rule, been rebellious of their parents, partied, hung out with "the wrong crowd," and been wanton to explore their own sexuality. It's part of being a teenager, and part of growing up. Most people undergo this rebellious phase from the ages of 13ish to 20ish. It's part of adolescence and trying to feel for the way you are as an individual, to explore your new sense of sexuality, and to be free from the mold that your parents put you in from day 1 of your birth. You may not agree, you may think I am spouting psychobabble, but from time immemorial this is what happens to people in the viable teen years. There are few, like me, for example, who do not undergo this phase, and repress sexuality, only to wind up expressing it later in life, which for most of us here at the Arena, makes sense. By doing so we avoid unwanton attention, we don't risk unwanted pregnancy, and are typically more introspective and sensitive to the needs of our future children, if any. That is not such a bad thing, but it's rare on the whole, especially when viewing this lens on a global perspective and in different cultures/classes.
As far as the younger set (less than 13)...that's pushing it, in my opinion. I think that kids should stay kids until they really understand what it means to grow up (and I don't mean due to societal pressure to look, act, or be a certain way, but on their own and in their own time). There are consequences to the way people behave, and I think that's the real message that needs to be imparted by parents in the recent generations or generations to come. Kids will try to get away with everything just to be cool and fit in, and their parents need to pull on the reins, so to speak, and get them to understand that sometimes that behavior leads to consequences...not necessarily making them feel bad for expressing themselves, that's not what I'm after, it's more of a 'wear this in that situation' versus 'don't wear that ever again!'. What the kid wants to wear, or have, or be is a very personal thing, and touchy in and of itself, but a parent should be there to guide the child, and serve as a gentle guardian, nudging them in the right direction every once in a while. What I think would work for the tweens begging for fun new clothes is the right to earn money to buy such clothes, rather than the parents constantly giving in, just for the sake of example here. In addition, maybe parents should show their kids how certain clothes last longer, help them choose what clothes look best on them (not just for a trend), etc.
As far as being sexually active goes as a teenager...it's going to happen, I hate to say it. It's up to the parent and the teen to be responsible and use/take birth control, etc. There is no curbing that behavior, not really, until the teen essentially grows up and learns to control one's urges for themselves. Again, the consequences are there, and the teen does know what they are (pregnancy, STDs, etc.). It's up to the teen to heed the messages of their parents/school and then to deal with the consequences of their chosen actions. That's what being an adult is all about. If it means they have to grow up fast, so be it. It is a little sad, in that some lose their childhood quickly in that way, but there really is nothing much that can be done in the U.S. that hasn't already been done.
In other words...for those tl;dr ponies...I say let kids be kids as long as they want to be. If you don't agree with the parenting styles/expressions of sexuality of others...keep that in mind should you decide to be or already are a parent, and act accordingly. And we should emphasize consequences to adult actions, more than anything else, on adult terms. This is a very personal preference sort of thing...an absolute answer to this "dilemma" is not possible...but compromise is.
-
I'm dropping a warning here before this gets too out of hand as some tempers seem to be starting to flare a bit. Let's try to maintain the civility so I don't have to lock this. Thanks.
-
I think the point that is trying to be made is:
Women regardless of age should be allowed to wear whatever they'd like and not be thought of as sex objects just because of it.
It's like people who say "Oh, you deserved to be raped because you dressed like a slut."
When I was 14 I was wearing a tight but not overly revealing shirt. A boy in my school grabbed my boob and when I told it to the teacher they said "Well, you shouldn't be wearing a tight shirt like that, it provokes people." :/
First of all, I am sorry that happened to you. Second, your teacher was not behaving in a way that would help you, instead she shamed you, which is never okay. Men get away with a lot more than women do in society as a whole when it comes to sexuality, in my opinion, and this slant is perpetuated by similar comments (e.g., "Well you shouldn't dress like that, you'll be thought of as a slut, etc. etc.")
One of my favorite new books on the topic of women and sexuality is "A Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex." It shows that you don't have to dress in ways most people would deem inappropriate to be sexy and to feel sexy, and it'd be great for the older teen.
Post Merge: December 12, 2012, 05:37:17 PM
Yes, parents should protect their children. That means physically being around them and not putting them in dangerous situations. Not stifling their sense of self. Not teaching them sex is evil. Not slut shaming themselves and others. Actually, physically protecting them.
This post = flawless. +1
I completely agree. Parents need to be there for their kids, and by the same token, lay the groundwork for becoming an adult. That doesn't include allowing your child (what I consider to be under the age of 13) to act however he/she wants without some form of consequences, yet at the same time, it does allow for the child to be independent. It's a fine balance to walk.
-
I have to agree with ChocolateStarfire, men get away with a lot more, they blame the women. When I younger, I was on line for entering the bus, which was really crowded, a man passed way too fast and and touched lightlly my butt, I looked at him with a really angry face. His looks was like: that´s a normal behavior. "I wish I had kicked him" Children and Teens need to learn that their choices and behaviors have consequences.
-
Wow...just wow. D:
All I can say is, parents REALLY need to impart consequences to actions. It's one of the biggest reasons why society behaves the way it does in the States. It goes beyond kids acting like adults...and acting out. It shapes individuals, who in turn shape society.
-
Whether or not it is slut shaming, you are slut shaming.
"Slut-shaming is defined as the act of making someone, usually a woman, feel guilty or inferior, for engaging in certain sexual behaviors that violate traditional gender expectations. These include, depending on culture, having a large number of sex partners, having sexual relations outside marriage, having casual sexual relations, or acting or dressing in a way that is deemed excessively sexual."
I do find all of these things inappropriate for children, so I suppose you are right I am slut-shaming in the sense I don't think any of the things above are suitable for children. I mean come on, they are children. Children should have sex? Or in your point of view children should be allowed to dress for sex appeal? They haven't even reached an age of sexual maturity or curiosity. I'm sorry, but I just don't think I'll ever be of the opinion that children are ready and capable of dealing with this stuff. When they get older and are ready they should be educated about sex and given freedom to reach out for gender or sexual empowerment. But not when they are children. When they are children we make sure they can be children.
I still fail to see how small children dressing modestly and age appropriate 1) makes me view them as sex objects and 2) makes me a prude. Sex is great - but it's still not for small children. Maybe you're doing a little projecting there.
I agree with this. I should just leave it to you Ashes I think we are largely coming from the same place.
-
I agree with Ashes and Sarah.
I do believe that children should be allowed to make decisions about their clothing and appearances. Let them wear leopard tights, green stripey skirt, orange and yellow polka dot shirt, and rainbow shoes with pigtails (an example from my work, lol). But when you have a 6 year old wearing a mini skirt, low-cut top, and high heels (sadly, another work example), that's different. The first example is a kid expressing herself through her clothes. The second is a kid whose parent allows her to dress in clothes that are styled after grown-up sexy clothes. In my personal opinion, that's inappropriate.
Yes, let's teach little girls to grow up into confident women. Let them choose their outfit for the day, let them take pride in themselves, and and show them how to be empowered.
But let's also teach them to respect themselves. Teach them that they don't need the skimpy clothes to be pretty or valuable. What makes them unique is on the inside, not the out.
I am not saying to raise children that are afraid of sex. It's important to teach them the facts and how to be safe, etc. Don't tell them that the skimpy clothes make them a "slut," but also encourage them to dress age-appropriately. I don't see how that's bad at all. Little girls are NOT grown women and should not be treated as such.
-
I agree with Ashes and Sarah.
I do believe that children should be allowed to make decisions about their clothing and appearances. Let them wear leopard tights, green stripey skirt, orange and yellow polka dot shirt, and rainbow shoes with pigtails (an example from my work, lol). But when you have a 6 year old wearing a mini skirt, low-cut top, and high heels (sadly, another work example), that's different. The first example is a kid expressing herself through her clothes. The second is a kid whose parent allows her to dress in clothes that are styled after grown-up sexy clothes. In my personal opinion, that's inappropriate.
Yes, let's teach little girls to grow up into confident women. Let them choose their outfit for the day, let them take pride in themselves, and and show them how to be empowered.
But let's also teach them to respect themselves. Teach them that they don't need the skimpy clothes to be pretty or valuable. What makes them unique is on the inside, not the out.
I am not saying to raise children that are afraid of sex. It's important to teach them the facts and how to be safe, etc. Don't tell them that the skimpy clothes make them a "slut," but also encourage them to dress age-appropriately. I don't see how that's bad at all. Little girls are NOT grown women and should not be treated as such.
:like:
-
I have a friend who is a nurse and she works in the maternity ward. She said there was a 9 year old girl giving birth :shocked: Her mother refused to let her have an epidrural (can they have epidurals at that age?) because she said, "you deserve all this pain for having sex". The girl screamed so loud everyone in the hospital heard it :shocked:
I can't believe 9 year olds are having sex. I was playing with ponies and Barbies at that age! Wasn't thinking about boys and sex and stuff. It's insane :shocked:
Yes that's what I mean! As the years go by, children are having sex at a younger age and the age just keeps going down.. I was also playing with my Barbies and Ponies at that age! The only thing I had to look after when I was 9 was a toy cat called a Petster that was given to me by my friend that said her older sister wanted to get rid of it. Lol.
I know teens have always had sex in every generation, but kids that aren't teens? Now come on, they ruin their childhood from their stupidity. :(
-
I think that kid would be an outlier though. It happens sometimes, of course, but most kids still think sex is gross at that age.
-
I have a friend who is a nurse and she works in the maternity ward. She said there was a 9 year old girl giving birth :shocked: Her mother refused to let her have an epidrural (can they have epidurals at that age?) because she said, "you deserve all this pain for having sex". The girl screamed so loud everyone in the hospital heard it :shocked:
I can't believe 9 year olds are having sex. I was playing with ponies and Barbies at that age! Wasn't thinking about boys and sex and stuff. It's insane :shocked:
Yes that's what I mean! As the years go by, children are having sex at a younger age and the age just keeps going down.. I was also playing with my Barbies and Ponies at that age! The only thing I had to look after when I was 9 was a toy cat called a Petster that was given to me by my friend that said her older sister wanted to get rid of it. Lol.
I know teens have always had sex in every generation, but kids that aren't teens? Now come on, they ruin their childhood from their stupidity. :(
that isn't true at all. Like I have already said, back in the middle ages if you didn't have a kid when you were 14 it was considered too late.
Here is a link to a page about the youngest mother ever recorded. http://youngest_mother.tripod.com/ (http://youngest_mother.tripod.com/) she was 5, and it was 1940. Every generation thinks this because 'kids these days' but in reality, the average age to have children is getting older and older. To the point it's actually risking the health of babies. At the age of 27 I was the youngest person in my new parents group which took in all new parents in the area. I was the youngest by 5 years, and most of the people were 35-40 years old.
Yes, kids shouldn't be having kids, but it isn't new, it isn't getting statically worse. We now literally have millions more people then back in our day. There are 7 billion people in the world. If 1% of those have kids that's still 70 million teen parents. Plenty to make 16 and pregnant and so you all have an example of teens acting sexually.
-
That youngest mom story is unreal! Dang. Lots of strange things in the world I never knew about.
-
that isn't true at all. Like I have already said, back in the middle ages if you didn't have a kid when you were 14 it was considered too late.
People also didn't have as high of a life expectancy in the Middle Ages, and 1 in 3 people died before the age of 5. So that *might* have something to do with it.
Also, it was mainly among the nobility that "child" marriages occurred (that is, women in early to late teens getting married). So for the average Middle Age person, that was just not the case to be married quite that young and having babies.
-
Teenage pregnancy (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57411981-10391704/u.s-teen-pregnancy-rates-at-an-all-time-low-across-all-ethnicities/), and indeed the birth rate as a whole (http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2012/11/29/166181293/the-birth-rate-just-hit-a-record-low-thats-bad-news-for-medicare), are at an all-time low though.
-
I think the point that is trying to be made is:
Women regardless of age should be allowed to wear whatever they'd like and not be thought of as sex objects just because of it.
It's like people who say "Oh, you deserved to be raped because you dressed like a slut."
When I was 14 I was wearing a tight but not overly revealing shirt. A boy in my school grabbed my boob and when I told it to the teacher they said "Well, you shouldn't be wearing a tight shirt like that, it provokes people." :/
First of all, I am sorry that happened to you. Second, your teacher was not behaving in a way that would help you, instead she shamed you, which is never okay. Men get away with a lot more than women do in society as a whole when it comes to sexuality, in my opinion, and this slant is perpetuated by similar comments (e.g., "Well you shouldn't dress like that, you'll be thought of as a slut, etc. etc.")
One of my favorite new books on the topic of women and sexuality is "A Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex." It shows that you don't have to dress in ways most people would deem inappropriate to be sexy and to feel sexy, and it'd be great for the older teen.
Yeah, that teacher was terrible. She was very immature herself and not really cut out to be teaching kids/teenagers.
It could have been worse though, even though it upset me and made me feel bad, I'm glad it wasn't a worse thing.
-
They're growing up to fast. But I guess every generation has to change. Technology and stuff with how it is is a lot different than it was when we were all growing up. I was always outside when I was little every change I got. :/