Long distance relationships experience

[True]

my last bf lived on the other side of the state, also a 3 hour drive, we met online. We only saw each other maybe once a year for the 3 or 4 years in the beginning that we lived apart. Eventually he moved in with me, and it was nice, we really always enjoyed each others company for a long time. We made plans to move downstate, he went first, and then I guess old habits and bad friends sucked him back in because I didn't really hear from him much, and our apartment deposit was gone. :/

Overall I'm not really interested in long distance relationships anymore. I know they work well for some people, but I'm not into them anymore, I'm getting too old lol. Im also not super into dating, but am not rejecting the idea if someone comes along that I get on well with.

[Sweet_Stuff]

My husband and I were long distance at first (Texas/Florida, and then Texas/Massachusetts when I moved with my family. I was in high school.) We saw each other every 6 months for two or three years and then he moved to be with me. It was MUCH harder after we were not long distance than it was long distance, honestly. When you only see each other once in a while you get the best of that person and it's always exciting to see them. Things change a ton when you go from that to seeing them constantly.

That said, though, yesterday was our 7 year wedding anniversary and we have three kids. 

ETA: We met online, on FaceTheJury (for my fellow old people LOL).

Happy Anniversary!

hah, old people?! Who are you calling old?!

[CoonhoundBetty]

DH and I did the long-distance thing straight out of high school--I stayed in Michigan, and he went to university in New York (7-8 hr car trip one way). It sucked big donkey balls, but we did it. We've been together for 13 years this week As poor college students, we weren't able to go see each other as frequently as we wanted, but he was home for summer (well, mostly...he did go out of state to work during the summer) and Christmas, as well as Thanksgiving and Spring Break. I went out there for a weekend in the fall and in the spring. We talked on the phone every day (LOL I bought him his first cell phone), and we did have webcams, mailed stuff to each other, etc. 4 years of that sucked, and I was also working 2 jobs, full-time school, planning our wedding, buying a house, my dad up and left the family for his mistress of 10 years...looking back, I'm surprised all that stress didn't ruin the relationship ::pats self on back:: Really, I think it just comes down to respect for each other and the relationship, and keeping up with communication; it's hard, but it CAN be done!

[Stormness_1]

I did a long distance relationship for about 6 months. I met the guy online, although we'd met in person once - I didn't really pay him much mind, he was my friend's brother, and I was seeing someone at the time. We started chatting online, about a year later, after the relationship I'd been in when we met had ended, apparently I made an impression when I used his back to fill out insurance forms on horseback, haha! I wasn't very interested, he insisted on "just one double date, if you hate it I'll accept it", and before I knew it we'd had 2 more solo dates and he was headed back home to go back to work. (He'd been helping out his mum after surgery, who lived in my home town) We kept chatting online, and he visited as often as he could on weekends, it was a 3 hr drive each way. I then moved an hour closer for university, he was at mine every weekend, and he'd pick me up and we'd visit our mothers some weekends. After my first semester of university, we moved in together, and despite many trials and tribulations, we've been together 8 years, and are heading for our 5th wedding anniversary in October.

It can work out. We didn't stay long distance long, but we made sure that that time was as painless as possible. We both had matching phone plans, so that we could call and text each other's numbers for free, for a certain amount per month, like a cap. We still have that plan to this day. I pay for all my other calls and texts, but as long as I've paid my bill, I have free contact with my husband, as long as he has his phone on him. We're the strongest couple I know, and I think that's because of our struggle to be together, we appreciate it more. We've been through so much, physically, emotionally and financially.

[Princess Lala]

My husband and I started off as long-distance!!!! We were approx. 918 miles apart. I remember it well! I lived in Indiana and he lived in Texas at the time we met on MySpace, added each other as friends, chatted, and skyped back in 2008/2009. We went out soon after and had that long distance relationship lasted until 2011 when we moved in! That was almost a good 3 years dating online! We took all the same classes in our high schools and helped each other with our homework over Skype and the phone. After MySpace, we just kept talking through Skype and our phones- in fact he actually bought me my own cell phone and shipped it to me up in Indiana! It was hard only because of the bullying we got from family members and friends telling us on both sides that "long distance relationships don't work out". Well, I bursted their bubble big time because mine sure as heck worked! Him and I met several timesin person before I moved in with him, he flew me down here on our anniversary and in valentines day soon after. I had nothing to leave behind me in Indiana, so I flew in with my guy down to texas in 2011 of march I think a year after we graduated high school. We are still altogether strong and eventually got married but we are still saving for the wedding because we want our wedding to be a dream wedding! No kids, but we have 3 scale babies and a beautiful ferret. And a huge pony and anime figure collection! x3 we have all of our long distance letters and mementos in a heart shaped box that he once sent to me our first valentines day dating. Its filled with stupid stuff like Pokemon drawings, mushy love letters, locks of hair, pictures, toys, love hallmark cards, etc all this stuff we sent to each other while we dated online. Right now we are sitting on the couch arguing about which anime figures to get next when I get a job watching kill la kill. LOL We just went through a VERY series of stressful situations thrown at us all at once and we are both making it out together with how strong our bond is.

Long story short, long distance relationships can definetly work out! I just can't believe this adorable slender tall man next to me is MINE and I met him by all chance with the help of social media. I definetly wish with all my heart the same for anyone else looking into long distance relationships- just understand someday that one of you will have to move if its states away and if you want to make it a dream come true to wake up to that person every day! The internet is a great tool for exploring the love world, just also be careful who you talk to of course! I'm one of those sappy girls that believes in true love in this sick cruel twisted world, it definetly exists 1000% if you are willing to look for it. Mine just happened to be 900+ miles from where I was living at the time. We have been together about 8 years now! Where does the time go!?

[lostpony]

I had a relationship that lasted about a year with someone I met online and shared an interest with.  It had its pros and cons....we met physically in San Francisco, Panama, and Bolivia and it was a great experience in so many ways but, I was too immature and materialistic and she was not compassionate and could not get over some other hangups and we parted on "good" terms but never developed a friendship.  Now more than 15 years later am working on a friendship with someone even further away building the friendship first so hopefully will still have that regardless of whatever else does or does not happen.

People talk about becoming "just friends" but the fact is, friendship is hard to find and valuable...oh I don't know much about successful friendship so I will stop here.

[buttonso]

My husband and I were long distance for......... 7-ish years, before he moved here and we got married in 2008.  We met online as teenagers on Prodigy (yeah, anyone remember Prodigy?). I lived in Missouri, he lived in Pennsylvania so it was 700-something miles difference.

It wasn't always easy but I think our temperaments were suited to it... we definitely like being together better than being apart though.  I don't blame people who don't want to fool with long distance relationships but it worked out for us in the end.

[tikibirds]

i have done it twice and by long distance--i'm talking halfway across the planet. personally i hate it. first time was when i left to doa disney internship. And again  now - he is in boston and i am in china but even when i was in  ny, he was still 4 hrs away in boston for his job. After 16 years, hopefully when i return from China he will of found a closer job.

[NovelNerd]

These are all def very interesting to read. The amount of dedication you guys have for these relationships are just wow, amazing. I have a hard enough time making friends online and think my skills would be even worse relationship wise. My girlfriend just left today though after staying a few days. I think with the seeing each other two or three days a week it makes it bearable. It's difficult when for me just going through the periods of being alone. Hopefully it won't be that way a super long time, but I do have to get comfortable again with the idea of living with someone else. I was surprised how easy I adjusted to living in my own.

[Aflame]

me and mt OH (charmer) started out as pen pals him in Hertfordshire me in wales we traveled up and down for about 6/7 years and moved in together in 2011 as we were both really sad when we had to part, now we have lived together for 4/5 years and we are engaged and so happy

[lostpony]

The things being said in this thread really give me hope.  Thanks so much!

[Thrice]

I dated a guy who lived about 3+ hours away for a short while. He turned out to be a hot mess but we managed the long-distance thing alright. I was in college at the time so I was kind of movement-restricted anyway; we did most of our chatting online. After him I decided I wouldn't do it again, though. For a few years my now-husband was living about an hour away, and I'd drive out to stay with him on the weekends and return for school on weekdays (I lived with my parents by that time and he wasn't allowed to come stay with me.) He often tells me how much he appreciates that I drove so much to see him; I've told him an hour's drive wasn't bad at all compared to what I used to do, and he turned out to be very worth it.

[MidnightMocha]

Been in an LDR with my boyfriend for 3 out of the 6 total years we've been together. Honestly, it's not so bad. And I'm saying this when he lives in Hawaii, I live in California and we see each other twice a year. The thing is we're both busy people working on our careers. In a year, he'll be a full-fledged physician, and I was just accepted to medical school this year after finishing my Masters degree. We have our own lives, but what helped a lot is both of us being in the same profession with a common goal.

It was difficult the first year, since he was in school and I wasn't so I felt left out from his new life. But now we are pros and are very happy despite the distance! The other key is to have a plan of when you will be able to do things like get married or live together.

I think it's totally doable provided you have your own life independent of each other and aren't feeling like you're constantly wishing the other person was in your life to make it feel complete. That way, when you do get together, it's just that much better on top of an already strong foundation for life for each of you, which makes for an excellent start to a relationship.

[Saphraira]

I've been in a long distance relationship for a long while and god I know it bites. My guy is in the Uk.
I really hope things pick up for yall and maybe you find a middle place to meet up and spend time together. idk.

Hoping the best for you two.