Long distance relationships experience

[NovelNerd]

I've been with my girlfriend about eight months now. We aren't as far as some (she is in Missouri and I'm in Arkansas and it's a 3 1/2 hour drive one way), but it's long for me. I get car sick easily and become very tired and have to take lots of breaks while driving to wake up. After I got my divorce from my ex wife I tried dating locally, but I just liked her better than the other people. She is just amazing and to me worth the travel. Distance is hard for us though and seeing each other on weekends makes it possible to be ok. We went a long period only seeing each other a few times a month because of my work schedule and she has car issues and it was horrible!

Anyway this isn't a problem for the WYP forum I don't think. I was just explaining and would like to hear about other's long distance
De relationship experiences.

[shelvesofwhimsy]

Long distance relationships are the worst.
I was in one for awhile where we were about 1.5 hours away, and we only saw eachother on the weekend. At the time I thought that was bad.

Then he moved across the US. I would only see him every 3-4 months.

Needless to say I moved across the US.



I think its one of those things where eventually you will need to decide who will make the move if you're serious about being together

[kaoskat]

Hubby was in Alabama and I was in south Florida. We dated for 4 years seeing each other twice? I think......Maybe 3 times..... and have now been married 9 years.

[ladybastilla]

My bf and I live 8 hours apart and see each other 2 - 3 times a year. We'll have been together 8 years as of June 22nd. My experience with long distance is that it works or not based on the needs of both people involved. My bf and I met via an MMO and we do stuff like play games, watch movies, order the same meal on the same evening, use video / voice chat software, etc. to make sure we communicate regularly. I definitely don't think the relationship I am in would be right for everybody, but it works for me and my bf. I think it's very important to be honest with yourself about what you need from a relationship and to be clear about what you need when you start seeing someone.

[Artemesia's Garden]

In my experience you have to decide at a certain point to be physically together and if it's not practical there could be a very special kind of heartbreak where it's difficult to get over the relationship because the breakup is circumstantial rather than emotional.

I've done it this many times and decided to stop doing it now I'm in my mid 30's. My current BF lives a 20 minute cycle ride away.  We see each other a couple of times a week due to work commitments and keep in touch usually in fairly brief fashion in between.  This is such a luxury compared to my past relationships.  But I've spent so long in LDRs that I'm finding it hard to manage such a relationship knowing that he's so near!  But I need to be my own person and so does he.  We are both working hard to consolidate our careers.  If you're doing LDR serially I'd say there might be some underlying issues but I know that isn't the case for you so all I can say is "good luck!"

[NovelNerd]

Oh we've already decided and did forever ago abut the moving. She would move here as it's harder for me to find a job I like that is good for me than her and she could transfer to a unit about 40 minutes from where I'm at. Currently though she just got a new job a few months ago and a new car and has things to pay off and so do I. The idea is to live together sometime during this not year but once I've paid off my credit cards and she is more the financially stable. Trying to be good adults! 

[Sweet_Stuff]

I tried a couple of long-distance relationships, once when I was 17, another when I was 18. First guy was I think a couple of years older than me in same state. Second was like 10 years older, in Oklahoma.. LOL This was back in the day of AOL Instant Messenger and ICQ. We were 'bf/gf' on paper, pretty much. Never saw either one in person. Second guy would call me, and we'd write letters to each other -- that's it. The second was was more 'serious' than the first, and it ended up being a crazy love triangle!! Yeah, Oklahoma guy knew this girl from New Hampshire, also online... a group of us would meet on mIRC (way way back!! lol) and have good times online. Anyway, when the girl found out that he liked me and was 'talking to' me, she apparently got mad, made the move from NH all the way to OK, visited him for Labor Day weekend, and within two weeks they were married..  I'm not making this stuff up y'all! So, I had to learn that from his cousin, who was also one of my online friends... Guy totally ignored me since starting the new thing with the girl. The cousin told me the whole story. Apparently, after they got married, she treated him like crap and only used him for sex. He had to put a restraining order on her, they got separated, and last the cousin knew, she moved to Kansas..

...Looking back I was pretty dumb and naive. 

About three, five years ago, I started a causal relationship with someone who lived about 45 minutes away. It didn't last long. He eventually ended things because that was too far for him, plus he gave me the "it's me not you" line.  We tried to make things work and to be more serious, but my ego and [now apparent] neediness; and his commitment fears got in the way.. oh well. He's now happily married, and I wish him well.

Needless to say, I have no positive experiences to share. 

[goddessofpeep]

I did 4 years of long distance - 2000 miles as the crow flies.  It stunk.  We'd see each other a few times a year - 4 times in a year was a lot, usually less.  I did it though.  I think the first year was the worst, then I sort of got used to it.  This was before skype/facetime with a thing, before cell phones were common, and before unlimited long distance was available. Even just talking was pricey and difficult.

We had one year together, 4 years apart, then I moved out to be with him.  We got married on our 10th anniversary(in Hawaii which was awesome!), and we're approaching 10 years married, 20 years together in a little over a year:p

It can work, but not for everybody.  There has to be a lot of trust, and you have to set up rules and expectations.  Nothing about it is easy.  You can't just expect things to fall into place.  If you need daily phone calls or some other thing to make it work, it all has to be explicitly worked out at some point.  How plane tickets are paid for, when calls can be made, who calls who, it all needs to be sorted out.  And people with jealous natures are probably not good long distance partners.

[Lore-Lei]

My friends Tina and Nick got together thanks to pony, online. Tina is from Sweden, and Nick is from America. They recently broke up, as they felt like it's just not working. Such a shame, they were such lovebirds together.

[Harmonie]

I'm curious, too. Because lets just say the idea just kind of entered my mind recently, too. >.<

I had a coworker who met someone online, through a mutual IRL friend. He lived several states away. However, he moved down to the same town within maybe half a year or so, and now I think they live together. They've been happy for more than a year now, even though all of us were so worried for her.

I guess online relationships *can* work, but I didn't put much thought into the concept myself until very recently. Only because of a really wild situation where I have really come to like someone who someone IRL knows personally but I only know online.

[kaoskat]

I guess online relationships *can* work, but I didn't put much thought into the concept myself until very recently. Only because of a really wild situation where I have really come to like someone who someone IRL knows personally but I only know online.

I think the catch with online relationships is NOT to go into them expecting them to "work". Have the relationship because you like the person and it'll be fun. Don't worry about if and when it's going to end, just enjoy it in the moments that come. Then sometimes things develop and it DOES work. But sometimes, it's just a fun experience getting to know another person.

[pyrodarknessanny]

I've got a sort of arrangement with a good friend  who is in the US.
I'm in Australia.    most of our interactions have been thu  chat clients like MSN when it was a thing *(god I feel old talking about that)  and now Skype.

because of the distance involved and neither of us being able to travel we've so far kept things open.
and this arrangement has been going on for  at least 10 years now.  at times it is trying.
but some how we've managed to keep it going.   

I don't know if it will ever actually work out tho. or if it will eventuate into something more.

[RainbowQuartz]

My husband and I were long distance at first (Texas/Florida, and then Texas/Massachusetts when I moved with my family. I was in high school.) We saw each other every 6 months for two or three years and then he moved to be with me. It was MUCH harder after we were not long distance than it was long distance, honestly. When you only see each other once in a while you get the best of that person and it's always exciting to see them. Things change a ton when you go from that to seeing them constantly.

That said, though, yesterday was our 7 year wedding anniversary and we have three kids. 

ETA: We met online, on FaceTheJury (for my fellow old people LOL).

[Harmonie]

I guess online relationships *can* work, but I didn't put much thought into the concept myself until very recently. Only because of a really wild situation where I have really come to like someone who someone IRL knows personally but I only know online.

I think the catch with online relationships is NOT to go into them expecting them to "work". Have the relationship because you like the person and it'll be fun. Don't worry about if and when it's going to end, just enjoy it in the moments that come. Then sometimes things develop and it DOES work. But sometimes, it's just a fun experience getting to know another person.

Too late for that... D: I've had such bad luck with romance, I fell fast.

The thing is that if we did really get close/r and establish an online relationship, I'm hoping that in just one year I'll be ready for graduate school, and this individual lives in a university town, so I could just move there and go to graduate school there (my university I'm going to be attending this fall does not have my degree in master's, so I have to move, anyway!)

...I'm getting too far ahead of myself, I know. I can't help it... I'm getting close to entering my 30s... I feel like I need to get things moving! >.< I sound desperate, but I wouldn't go to such lengths for someone I didn't think was really special, so I assure I have finally found someone really neat. =)

[Ribbs]

I was in a long-distance relationship for about 2 and a half years with my finance. Him in NY, me in Seattle. It was rough without him but totally worth it in the end. We both had a plan to save up money and move in together, and eventually we did and here we are. If you have a solid plan and stick to it, anything is possible.