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I think you're very very polite. I'd probably would have been less polite than you.
I think you sounded very reasonable he definitely is not in the condition you were expecting and I'd be disappointed too, but staying polite usually gets better results and it makes it easier to solve issues . If you sent an angry message it immediately puts the seller in a bad mood and they are likely to be less co-operative Plus it helps with cases too if ebay see that you have been polite throughout (even if the seller gets annoyed and wont work with you anymore - actually especially if this is what happens)Hopefully your seller will be happy to deal with you and you can both resolve this amicably - please let us know how it goes
Your second version is more to my taste in the first one it sounded like you were apologizing not to like them as much as you should have But it's just my opinion, right
Seller offered me a £10 refund, does that sound good?