Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!

[michelle53]

I understand, it’s part of why I didn’t donate photos to the gallery, use rare stuff in my sig or why most collectors don’t know much about my collection (don’t make assumptions from the post count ) The best collection I ever saw (I would argue the best nirvana collection ever) was not known to the community. I know of several huge collections with people that have accounts here but don’t post much. A couple nirvana collectors, a utopian and one that had a factory find in the early 90's to name a few. None of these are really known to the community. There is a LOT more out there in the pony underground

This makes me extremely sad.  The pony community should be able to share pictures and stories about extremely rare and previous with each other. 

[maycrestmom]

my how this thread has grown!  yah I can totally relate to the fun I have bringing nirvana to pony meets = to me, this kind of collectible is so wonderfully touchable, I feel I collect just so I can share - ex. bringing my OOAK squeaky butt to the VAPony meet :-)  I absolutely adore the fact that I don't worry about my kids breaking my collection ;-)

So about being asked to sell when not technically for sale? hmmm... the way I see it is there is no harm in their asking,  you have the right to say yes or no.  Of course it's trickier if the situation is a money-need.  And for the simple fact that it's not being advertized as a sale and possibly a situation that will be regretted later on if not sold "for the right reasons", than I would echo I would hope not to be pestered regularly and most folks here I would think are smart enough to get it and I would hope that communication is clear is all

Now given if it was posted in a brag section, than part of me has to expect that I posted to get a response = which is possibly a reason for me I rarely am on that forum...

funny I never thought about it like that before, and I've often hoped folks don't take it the wrong way when I am in real life uber-excited in receiving ponies from them but then don't run and post over in brags = it's a tough call for me as I know I hope that they appreciate I am so thankful, but then half the joy of giving is getting to see that person's face and it's hard when all our sales and such are done over the ol' internet... but yeah, as newbie as I am, I can say I thought about the whole backlash about being trackable in regards to pictures posted

but please PKW = please I NEED THAT NIRVANA gallery!!! My memory is terrible and I try to use it before I bid on anything "strange" I see...

Maybe if it had to be considered that photos would not be credited?  If it's a problem for folks getting contacted?  I agree I am kinda sad to read about a huge pony underground and yet, I can totally believe it... kinda why I know I was so suspicious when the whole venezuela pony explosion happened at first...  the social media is here to stay but I would hope it would be a way to unite us in a good way instead of making us "trackable", like a target

just my thoughts on this = especially as we have wonderful members trying to update for books and such as well = I'd hate to lose the chance to at least see a pony in a picture while waiting for my chance to someday own what I like

I guess since I've been content to make a custom "placeholder" for the few impossible to gets = like I am now in the nirvana swap ;-) = I can't expect I would be on the side of asking for someone sell X-amazing pony (hah - SoSilver and some italians and vennes come to mind for me...). 

I would hope that if it is a super rare pony, and you've maybe gotten more than one request to sell, that I like Glacia's idea to put it up for auction WITH PLENTY OF TIME and give everyone a chance. 

But in the end, they are your ponies and you can do with them as you wish, so folks who get good offers and sell for that reason to just a single fellow board member are ok in my book as well = just overall,  I would hope whatever route you take when parting with a cherished, rare, OOAK nirvana that are happy with the sale, else don't do the sale

[hilamb]

Im glad to hear that person said sorry. Im sure she/he didint want to pester.

Im sad to hear too, that there are nirvanas nenevr seen or heard about. Maby someday we all get to see'em. Altough, at the same time, i understand why people dont want to show them. 

[pinkkittywinks]

MCM ~ the nirvana gallery is going no where and as i have already said in this thread, i will accept private picture donations via PM were no name is credited

getting back on topic: i am glad to hear the person is sorry for her actions and that she has learnt from it. i think we all have a lot to learn from this

love pkw xxx

[kellyponyfeathers]

Um, I think most people here would disagree with me, but at the risk of sounding bad, I don't think emailing with offers is all that horribly rude.  Especially if it's only twice, and those are several months apart.  Yes, it's a bit, um, ASSERTIVE, but it just doesn't seem like a huge deal to me.  Look at the thread that kasin just started about maybe selling some South Africans; it's exactly the same situation.  Kasin said she's received some offers that are hard to ignore, so now she's thinking about it.

But in this case we're talking about in this thread, I don't think the other person who made the offers realized that she was harassing/offending ponindependenza, and judging from how the situation has progressed, with the appology and the promise to stop making offers, it sounds like that's exactly what happened.  I'll bet the other person feels terrible and horribly embarassed now, and probably just wants to crawl under a rock and never come out again. 

So in situations like this, if we receive offers for ponies that aren't for sale, and we're feeling harassed or offended, I really think we should just say so, politely but firmly, and that should be enough to get the other person to stop.  And if it doesn't, then of course we should report to a moderator.  But if we just reply with a "No, the pony is not for sale, sorry," then how is the other person to know that we feel offended and harassed?  Sometimes a simple "no thanks" isn't enough, and the answer needs to be "no, and you're starting to irritate me, please back off."  (And I'm talking about pony collecting here, not overly persistant men.)

So I think we should just keep in mind that some people are more sensitive than others about pressure to sell.  I really think it's OK to offer, as long as we don't make nuisances of ourselves.  And if we are becoming nuisances, then the owner of the rare pony should speak up and say so.

Great, I'm probably going to get my head bitten off for saying all this, but that's just how I see it.  I actually sympathize for both ponindependenza and whoever made the offers, and I'm glad the situation is getting resolved for both of them.  I just think we should be respectful of ponindependenza's feelings, but not overly harsh on the other person either.  I know a lot of us can be a bit grabby when it comes to our pony passions; the important thing is to draw the line and know not to cross it.

[maycrestmom]

well said :-) as there should be no problem in being assertive and yes, I think the possibility of kasin's SA ponies are a good case in point = and I for one wouldn't bite your head off kellyponyfeathers ;-) as the hope is we are all mature here while still dealing with balancing some very strong emotions

[kellyponyfeathers]

Thanks, maycrest!  Hopefully others will see my point too and not misunderstand me.

[achab1984]

Some people think that they can get whatever they want if they have the funds. I understand if you ask once and they say no. But to come back and ask again is just plain rude!    Do not sell that girl! You will never ever forgive yourself if you do! 

[kasin]

You know, I was thinking. Some times we forget that this is a very multi cultural group. I live in a mix culture family and we frequently have misunderstandings because what is polite in one culture is rude in another. In this case, use of language or persistence may be interpreted differently by different people.

Just a thought. Or maybe I've had too much culture sensitivity training at work

~Diana

[NoPonySpecial]

Just a thought. Or maybe I've had too much culture sensitivity training at work

~Diana

Nothing wrong with too much sensitivity!

@ Kellyponyfeathers: Honestly, I kind of felt the same way when I heard how far apart the solicitations were and that there were only two. But there us a right way to go about asking if someone is willing to sell something, so I can see why Ponindepedenza was concerned that the problem could persist. I don't know that a whole thread needed to be started over it, but it is an interesting question, and it raised a good discussion, so no harm done.

[ponindepedenza!]

I think it may be cultural too. In france we don't really talk about money...
So if something is not for sale and someone is still asking it may seem offensive.
I didn't realize at first the first pm was two months ago, I thought it was not so long ago, because I still had it in mind.
What shocked me the most in fact is the offer itself. I understand when people ask me if I sell, it is worth trying,  but I don't really understand when people offer money when something is not for sale and they know it.
To me it is just a way to put pressure on someone.
Like "you don't want to sell it for 1000$ ? Maybe for 2000$ ? No, wait, maybe for 3000$ ? Just think about what you could do with all this money, think about your children, don't you want the best for them, and now, are you sure this pony is more important than them ?" And when the offer is crazy high, even if you love your pony and was sure you never ever wanted to sell it, it is sure you start to feel a bit stupid to keep it while selling it could help you to pay the rent during 6 months...

Be careful, I don't say the member who offers for my suntie put this kind of pressure on me. She just send an offer. I may overeacted but I'm not used to this method.
And as I told you, she apologized so it is not a problem anymore for me.
I didn't want to compromise the other member, just talking about my feeling and know if it is something that happened to you before and how you react because I was not sure myself as I was perplexed about it.
 

[kitkatvintage]

I think that if the owner of the pony is clearly happy to have it (such as displaying it in a signature, posting a brag thread about getting their "grail", or saying openly in a thread "this pony is not for sale"), then it is rude of people to offer to buy it. That's just my opinion. Even with friends who have a very rare pony, I don't think I'd ever bring myself to ask to buy it unless they clearly said they were thinking of selling it. I've missed out on things I would have loved to own because of that, but it's just not who I am.

I've been asked to sell things that were clearly not for sale, too. I understand about feeling foolish when you really need the money more than the pony. But you can't put a price on sentimental value.

I agree that it could be a cultural difference, too. Everyone has a different idea of what is "polite" or "fair business practice".

[kellyponyfeathers]

The possible difference in cultural values and norms is a very good point; I hadn't really thought of it that way.  Guess I didn't deserve that A I got in Intercultural Communication, ha ha!

[banditpony]

It's weird. I would feel upset if someone asked me for one of my not so common ponies .

But my fiance (whose parents are from another country), he has different values than I do (and is less clingy to objects than I am). If someone offered him money for his favorite camera, I know he would not be offended one bit, and probably would consider serious offers.

[Psydo]

I'm glad the issue with the member is over

Putting high money in balance makes you be torn between your pony love and your reason. But I agree that it may be cultural difference, or just individual sensitivity.