Okay. Apparently I have a problem......

[justkitter]

......no seriously.

I am a completionist MH collector.  I was recently told I have a problem.  That I shouldn't be buying dolls unless it is my birthday, or Christmas, or receiving them as gifts.  All this from the one person I THOUGHT understood my obsession.  Guess I can't geek out with her anymore.  So glad I have you guys:)

I'm so sad though.  This happened two days ago, and it's all I can think about.  It even ruined my dolly high for the day.  I found the SS 5 pack and I <3 Fashion Frankie.  BTW, I'm an adult, who has a full time job, and no children (also married.)  I should be able to do whatever I choose with my money.  But I've been told it's not just the money, I'm being consumed by MH.  Every waking moment thinking about dolls, and sometimes dreaming about them.  I have to blame Mattel for making their product (totally awesome) hard to find and sometimes way too rare.  If I don't buy it now, I may never see it again.  Oh, I also have no debt, except for the usual car, house debt.

Sorry if this is isn't organized, or if it's hard to follow.  I'm kinda spilling out my sorrow, so maybe I can get over it.  Guess I'll become one of those closeted collectors.  No one but you all seem to want to hear about my dolls:(  I love you guys.

[Moss]

Just ignore people who say stuff like that. You're right: it is your money and you're an adult. Now, if you were starving and living in a cardboard box and were spending your money on dolls, it might be a different story! Do what makes you happy, no matter what other people think! (unless murder or drugs make you happy. I wouldn't suggest doing either.)

[LuvlyMelody]

BTW, I'm an adult, who has a full time job, and no children (also married.)  I should be able to do whatever I choose with my money.

This basically sums it up. Dr.'s prescription?? More MH Dolls!!

lol all jokes aside as long as you're stable with the collecting, you should be fine.

[aellos]

Even the consuming your life thing. So long as you're still paying attention to your hubby, going to work, and doing other things. Who cares?
My fiancee thinks I'm a bit nuts because I do dolly photography, but it's something to do when I don't have any other friends to hang out with. DX

[ApertureScience]

My newest outlook on people like that is this:  if they don't actively collect anything, they shouldn't say anything like that.

I agree that if you put your life first and don't go crazy borrowing money and getting into debt for these dolls, keep at it.  I mean, come on, can't anybody have a hobby?

[Keelee_von_Cupcake]

Aww, that's really sad. A real friend should support you in doing whatever makes you happy. Big hugs to you! When someone tries to harass me about how "weird" it is to be an adult who plays with dolls, I just ask them what's so special and fulfilling about THEIR hobbies that makes them oh-so-superior to mine? Yeah. Unless they're doing something to really improve the world, they have no room to talk. Everyone needs a "thing". I'm a completionist collector too, so I know that can make us a little obsessive, and a lot of people who aren't just don't understand that kind of focus. But it's just part of the collecting fun for us. :3

[Yurusumaji]

I agree with everyone else that if you are a stable working adult who pays their bills and does that boring adult crap like you're supposed to, no one is ever allowed to tell you how can and cannot spend your money. I dealt with some similar BS several years ago when my husband deployed. Both his parents and my mother wanted to control our finances and force us to do things monetarily that we were not at all interested in doing.

I told them to bite me. Spend your money how you want to and when people tell you you can't do that, say, "The way I spend my money is my business. You don't have to understand it, you only have to respect it."

It reminds me of tattoos. I see tattoos that I don't like and I have a tattoo that people say I should not have. Here's the thing: tattoos are personal, just like collections. People get them for a reason (even if the reason is just that they find it aesthetically appealing) and it is no one's place to ever tell anyone else what tattoos they can and cannot get. It's the same thing with collecting. No one can tell you what you can and cannot collect, nor can they tell you when you can and cannot collect.

[Gingerbread]

"And if it harm none, do as you will."

This is how I live my life. If other people don't like it, well it's none of their business and they can do one. I wouldn't tell your friend to do one, but I would explain you are hurting nobody and what you do with your money is your business.

[Okiedokieloki]

If you have the disposable income and you're not neglecting important things in your life for MH dolls, then there isn't a problem. It's your hobby and it makes you happy, and people who don't actively collect something as a hobby generally won't understand that.

It was very rude of your friend to say that to you....even if she doesn't share your views, she should recognize and respect the fact that MH dolls make you happy and that you are responsible when it comes to the money you spend on them

[Knibitz]

I'm on my 5th year of being totally consumed by BJDs. 24/7 it's just dolls dolls dolls. Browsing forums, sewing, taking photos - every last one of my friends is into dolls. I can't keep friends that aren't.
I dump almost all the extra money I have into dolls - they're the only nice things I own. And the worth I have in dolls is more than the worth of my car.
Most people would probably assume that my dolls cripple me, because of how it seems my life revolves around them.

However, in the midst of my obsession, I have survived college and graduated with a bachelor of science degree in web development, obtained and completed a better internship than anyone else in my major, and scored a job with one of the top companies in the world.

We'll be fine
People are just jealous that they don't have the fun we do.

[justkitter]

Thanks, guys!  It really helps to read such nice comments.  I knew I could rely on all of you to cheer me up:) 

[jupiternwndrlnd]

people that don't collect, just don't get it.

luckily I am engaged to a guy who not only gets it, but encourages it.
his philosophy (as is mine)...the bills are paid, you might as well use some of your money on things you enjoy! if it makes you happy then why not?!

[aellos]

Hehe, you want funny? Not all collectors get it either? If it's something they don't collect, then I guess they get confused. My fiancee collects warhammer minis, and makes fun of my doll collection. DX

[Sarahlacewing]

I think most doll collectors think if their dolls as a good investment. I mean look at all the people out there who collected barbies or other toys when they came out. They would be worth a fortune now! So in addition to doll collecting being something that you love and enjoy, it is actually a good investment. When all our kids grow up and are our age these 'vintage' mh dolls will be like our ponies/strawberry shortcake/rainbow brites. And everyone will think... Oh I wish i had collected them back then. Lol

[Salli]

I agree with Jupi. Non-collectors DON'T get it. At all. And they can't.

I do have to say that that's not a good way to say it if she is just concerned about you. I have a very addictive/obsessive personality. While I think it's fine, and normal and fun to collect, you should also listen to your own soul. Take inventory now and again in your mind to see if you are truly happy or if you have crossed over into the realm of unhealthy. Sure, we're not doing drugs or killing people, but sometimes hobbies (ANY hobby- sports, traveling, shopping, gambling, gaming, even exercising!) can take over our lives if we use them to hide from problems or people. Everyone gets caught up in something sometimes. My husband is a work-a-holic. Surely that's not bad right? Well, it's not as bad as doing bad things of course, but is what he gets out of burying himself in his work what he really wants? Or is it an avoidance strategy? Look at some people in your life who have obsessions that aren't collecting. Yah, they're not hurting anyone. But are they living the life they'd like to? Where is this path headed?

I heard someone say that a balanced life is a life without passion. I agree and disagree with this. I'm an artist and I tend to be a slave to my inspirations. It's very hard for me to wrestle myself away from a fabulous idea. It feels kind of like a drug. Even though I can see it happening, it's very very hard for me to maintain a healthy relationship with the things I want to do vs. the things I need to do. It's not as simple as 'you need to stop ____ and work all day!' that's ridiculous. Especially if you have an artistic/creative mind. I also believe that while work is necessary for life, fun is necessary for a full life. I am FAR from mastering this ability to correct my manic mind when I step over the line into 'this is making me a slave'.

The bottom line is, what do you think? Listen to your soul. Really listen. You don't have to get rid of your dolls or curb buying them or anything. Are you happy with the amount of energy you spend in this area of your life? You may even find that you want to back off a smidge.

We all have this void in our souls that we need to fill. We fill it. Some people fill it with substance abuse, overeating, media, shopping, hurting people, working out, collecting, partying, traveling, gambling, working or volunteering, animals, even another person. Some of those things are outright bad. Even good things can become bad if in excess. Like animals, have you ever watched 'Animal Hoarders'? Studies even show that animals are healthy for us- if the relationship is healthy. Exercise, same thing. Eating is healthy, if we have a healthy relationship with food (I am definitely working on this myself). Just because you have a lot of something doesn't necessarily mean you 'have a problem'. It can mean you are good at it. Like if someone is very fit, doesn't mean they are doing it too much. That's just their passion. The test of whether something is healthy or not is how is makes you feel and how it's affecting the other areas in your life.

It was rude of your 'friend' to blindside you with a non-constructive intervention. Yah, you have a problem. You have a lot of problems. We all have problems. And always will. Maybe she'd like you to point out her problems sometime. Probably not though. If she just snapped out of feeling hurt or overlooked by you or something, she needs to comment on what her problem is, and not try to attack you for something you love. I'm sorry this happened. Few things feel worse than a betrayal of trust by a good friend.

Just know that even if you do 'have a problem' with doll-collecting, you are normal. It's totally up to you whether you feel you are balancing your life the way you want to. It's your life and you get to pick (as long as it's not hurting other people or something illegal). Good luck...