Okay. Apparently I have a problem......

[aellos]

That was deep Salli. Very deep.

[justkitter]

I think her problem is that she is a collector too, and her husband called her out on her collecting.  Kinda made her realize she was taking it too far.  She totaled up her purchases over a 3 month period and was shocked by how much she spent.  Didn't even know it got that out of hand.  Then I come to her with a $200 shopping spree, and it looks like I have a problem.  But how many times have I gone shopping and come home empty handed?  Plenty.  Divide those times by $200 and it's really not that bad.  Right?  Ugh!  She's got me questioning everything!  She said if I calculated how much I've spent on MH, I could have bought a new car or something.......  (not that I need a new car.  Mine is perfect and 3 years old)

[Yurusumaji]

The costs I've dropped on my Pokémon collection could have bought us a new TV. My pony collection is up to about $300 within a couple months. Could I spend it on other stuff? Sure. Should I spend it on other stuff? Since I can afford everything else that I need, I don't see why. I get a small amount of money to spend on myself and I spend it on myself. Everyone spoils themselves in some way.

I think that "too far" is relative to the person. Some people can spend far more money than me on their collections within a month, others have to spend far less than me. We all have different limitations and your friend didn't respect her boundaries. This happened when I very first started collecting. I even ran the bank account into the red once, completely by accident. I learned from that and now I collect smarter.

For someone to try to act like they know what your limitations are is uncalled for. Your money is your business and your friend needs to respect that.

[wystearya]

Sounds like your friend is jealous.    Maybe she is upset to realize she has a problem and cannot accept that your situation is not the same?

I'm sorry that your dealing with an unsupportive friend.  But if you know your finances and are fine, then it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks!  Your money and hobby is your own business.  You can continue sharing your MH joy with us!   I know that the only other person in my real life who takes interest in my collection is my BF.  I love being able to come here and 'play' with other like-minded people! 

[Colorscapesart]

It sounds like she is dealing with a lot.  Hopefully when things settle down you can reconnect   As long as it's done with respect and courtesy, it can be healthy to take a different look at our habits, reaffirming the good and working on the "bad".  Knowing what you've spent isn't a bad thing, it keeps it in perspective with the rest of life.  If you are comfortable with that number, awesome!

[Taxel]

I definitely agree that your friend sounds jealous, or wants to make you feel bad like she does. Hopefully once she calms down and feels a bit better about her mistake of going overboard she'll act normally again.

Honestly, as long as you're not being buried alive by your collections (like hoarder houses) and can buy what you need, however much you spent on collections is up to you and totally fine. I spent a few hundred on ponies and dolls this year, but the money was either from gifts or from selling some of my possessions. I also never went without what I needed. For a while we faced homelessness, and I put up everything I could for sale and stopped buying. Then my boyfriend got a well paying job, and I've been able to buy a few more dolls (two very cheap ones, and a $20 one that's very important to me, all with my own money from sales).

I still shouldn't buy a ton, but there are a few more dolls I want because their lines are being killed off and/or they're on amazing sales (like a $45 playset + exclusive doll for $25, when dolls from that line are $15-20 normally). If I have to I'll be giving up things I don't need (such as junk food and other special treats) to get them, and then going back to saving. I'm going to get guilted over it, but I know my limits and I know I can give some stuff up.

[Zombelina]

Just wanted to chime in with hugs for you grzankitter What everyone has said is so right on.

We all have this void in our souls that we need to fill. We fill it. Some people fill it with substance abuse, overeating, media, shopping, hurting people, working out, collecting, partying, traveling, gambling, working or volunteering, animals, even another person. Some of those things are outright bad. Even good things can become bad if in excess. ... The test of whether something is healthy or not is how is makes you feel and how it's affecting the other areas in your life.

Especially this, so clear and thoughtful Salli!

I'm also an obsessive/addictive personality and I know I need to be careful not to get over-dependent on anything. But I love my dolls and they make me happy, and I'm not going into debt over them, so for me it's okay. And everyone has their own "okay"... and that's okay. 

[tulagirl]

I think most doll collectors think if their dolls as a good investment. I mean look at all the people out there who collected barbies or other toys when they came out. They would be worth a fortune now! So in addition to doll collecting being something that you love and enjoy, it is actually a good investment. When all our kids grow up and are our age these 'vintage' mh dolls will be like our ponies/strawberry shortcake/rainbow brites. And everyone will think... Oh I wish i had collected them back then. Lol

Yea being a long time doll collector I can say this, not all dolls will hold a high value. Its going to only be certain ones that will one day be a craze in the doll collecting world and bring a nice cash value.  There is just no way to know which doll will be the it doll of the future from a certain decade.  Also it doesn't seem to matter how many of a certain doll there were made so much as the one doll that an entire generation had and loved..thats one of the keys to a future money maker.  SS was one of those.  One thing is for sure, I don't expect Barbie to fair well from these modern lines. MH not sure really as most of the kids I know really don't like them. I only  know one child that does...so we will have to see on that one.  Its usually the kids wanting their toys back that are the first set of buyers to raise the price of a collectible.

[michelle53]

Aww, that's really sad. A real friend should support you in doing whatever makes you happy. Big hugs to you! When someone tries to harass me about how "weird" it is to be an adult who plays with dolls, I just ask them what's so special and fulfilling about THEIR hobbies that makes them oh-so-superior to mine? Yeah. Unless they're doing something to really improve the world, they have no room to talk. Everyone needs a "thing". I'm a completionist collector too, so I know that can make us a little obsessive, and a lot of people who aren't just don't understand that kind of focus. But it's just part of the collecting fun for us. :3

Well said sweetie!!  I believe that as long as you can pay your bill and buy food, then who cares what you spend your money on?!  I wasn't always so forthcoming about my pony collecting for years, but I don't feel like I should have to hide what I love from anyone.  You should tell your friend that sure, MH is expensive, but at least it is a positive and harmless collection as opposed to other destructive habits.  I also think that you need to call her out about the way she made you feel; friends should be supportive, but maybe she doesn't understand how badly she hurt your feelings. 

If you're still feeling bummed out about the comment, then I suggest you take your MH dolls out and 'play' with them: brush their hair, repose them, or change their outfits.  Sometimes when I feel bad about spending too much on ponies, interacting with my collection always makes me feel better.

Smile hunny, you're in a great place in your life and you have absolutely every single right to enjoy your hard earned money:)

[justkitter]

Once again, thank you everyone:)  It is such a great feeling knowing that there are others out there who are just like me.  You guys rock!

[rayedelsol]

I just had to chime in and say 
Your original post sounds just like me. I am married with no kids, and I work. My mind has been obsessed with MH dolls since I fell in love with them. Everyone loves you here

[Rosse]

I'm not sure I agree with the sentiment in most replies here. On one hand, sure if you work and can afford everything you need, don't have kids etc, you can spend your money on whatever you want. On the other hand, you might still want to think about why you feel a need to own every single release of a childrens doll. I collect dolls too, so I'm not judging, but personally, I'm constantly evaluating myself and my actions, as to not go overboard with anything that might not be completely healthy. Not to mention the environmental aspect of buying tonnes of plastic just for the sake of owning it...!

So yeah, go ahead and collect if it makes you happy, just be sure to give it some thinking every now and then. Moderation is never a bad thing

Oh and I don't agree with the whole "friends should always support whatever you do and she's only jealous!". A friend will be honest even if it's not what you want to hear. It is very possible that she is genuinely worried about you. Try talking to her, and at least you could agree to have different opinions and leave it at that