Ponies & the Autistic Spectrum

[SunbeamV]

Hey! I haven't been able to get a diagnosis as an adult but I'm pretty sure I have dyspraxia. It's in the same family as autism and ADHD but with more of a neurological/nerve issue.

I've realized that part of why I've stuck with MLP for so long is because as a 90s kid, I really was born into a strange time where life started out with little to no tech, and as a college student now pretty much everything is automated and digital, and that lack of real world sensory input can really mess my brain up. I start feeling like I'm in a sensory deprivation tank as a torture method or something. Collecting ponies really helps keep me grounded because they're a stable presence (they existed before I was born, and have been around my entire life!) but always changing and always have new colour combos, textures, gimmicks, even new scents. it's really comforting to have something I've always been able to rely on when my brain starts to get fussy about sensory issues.

[Ponybookworm]

A new post!!! Cheers dears & I love how much Ponies have helped you

You're right about the tech taking over our lives as well. I grew up wi records, cassettes & videos, & though I've traded up to CDs & DVDs, I still can't convince myself to pay for something I can't hold in my hand, like an mp3...

[dragglereeka]

I have loved reading all your stories, it's heart warming to hear how Ponies are so therapeutic

I've been tested for Asperger's as I have a few traits, but it was finally put down to my PTSD diagnosis. There's something about categorizing things such as MLP that is just so, so soothing and gives you that "in control" feeling. 
I've always had a really intense inner world and imagination. When I was experiencing trauma as a child just holding each pony and giving them a story made me feel so safe.

My partner has Asperger's, so he totally understands my obsessions with things that others would consider childish. I love how we can just be ourselves around each other.

[Taffeta]

On the subject of tech...

I feel a bit like what the internet gave us at the end of the nineties is now slowly being taken away from us again.

The internet was a place where you could be quirky, different and a bit obsessive and nobody really minded. The fact this forum still exists is awesome, but I feel like now there are far fewer spaces for people to interact without encountering the mainstream expectations that make it more difficult to communicate in real life.

I know that's a blanket assumption but I don't feel like the spread to social media has helped very much. Online chat is also more challenging because it's all over the place, trying to keep up with all the things going on and react to them is more difficult, while writing on a forum like this, I can think about it, edit it, and hopefully get across what I want to say.

Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise.  And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.

Social media is all about a few words, lots of pictures, and then there's all the influencing rubbish telling people to be like other people, rather than encouraging them to be themselves. So with pony, I feel like there's a gradual shift away from that diversity that made it so attractive as a community in the first place. I don't say that other platforms shouldn't exist and I'm sure there are people on the spectrum who use them for ponies without any hesitation. But I personally find them difficult or potentially dangerous to navigate, and it worries me that one day we will lose even this space.

[SpacePinto]

That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.

[milkywaymochi]

I was diagnosed with technically Asperger's at age 8, but I much prefer the term autistic and refer to myself as autistic, or ASD, or on the spectrum etc etc

I loved my childhood G3 herd dearly, and put a lot of time and energy daily into grooming them, organising them etc both because it was very soothing and because I loved each of them as much as if they were real ponies. Pinkie pie, Sea spray, sparkleworks, wing song, and all the others each had their own personality, lives and stories in this very elaborate world that I created just for me. They gave me an escape from a pretty awful home/school life, and so much happiness.

So naturally, it was absolutely devastating when they were all taken away from me and thrown out shortly after I turned 10, the reasoning being that I was too old for them, and I needed to just get over it. It's been almost 15 years, and I almost can't even look at G3, never mind collect them, because my memories of them are tainted, and even now it makes me so sad.

On the upside, my current G1 collection brings me all that happiness and comfort, without the sadness. I can groom them, restore them, organise them, give them their own personality and noone can take them away from me now, or say I'm too old for them. Who's laughing now, mother?

I couldn't really tell you how and why MLP became one of my special interests in the first place. I suppose part of it is that it was a pretty natural offshoot of my childhood/teenage love of horse riding? (yes, I was derided as a weird horse girl in secondary school just because I used to horse ride) and of course for the reasons I listed above, but it's hard to put my finger on exactly what makes ponies so special to me. But you know, it doesn't really matter why to me, they just are and they make me so happy! 

[Taffeta]

That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.

This.

My autistic compulsiveness over detail also can't stand that 90% of ID sites now are constructed by googling other people's sites instead of doing the proper research. I only have respect for ID site people who actually know things about what they're writing, as opposed to just copying it off another site and hoping that it's right.

That side of autism is frustrating when it comes to the pony community, because there are still SO MANY mistakes and my little aspie brain cannot stand it.

[Artemesia's Garden]

On the subject of tech...

I feel a bit like what the internet gave us at the end of the nineties is now slowly being taken away from us again.

The internet was a place where you could be quirky, different and a bit obsessive and nobody really minded. The fact this forum still exists is awesome, but I feel like now there are far fewer spaces for people to interact without encountering the mainstream expectations that make it more difficult to communicate in real life...

Social media is all about a few words, lots of pictures, and then there's all the influencing rubbish telling people to be like other people, rather than encouraging them to be themselves. So with pony, I feel like there's a gradual shift away from that diversity that made it so attractive as a community in the first place. I don't say that other platforms shouldn't exist and I'm sure there are people on the spectrum who use them for ponies without any hesitation. But I personally find them difficult or potentially dangerous to navigate, and it worries me that one day we will lose even this space.

I completely agree with all of this. I was very aware of the problems of social media as they developed. I could see the dangers and after a while I cleaned them fully out of my life. I prefer to pay a little bit of money for an email service, anti-virus software etc. and be a customer rather than a 'user'.

I have some sensory processing issues with colour and light sensitivity and misophonia. However, my hobbies include art and music so there are also advantages however supermarkets or standard office environments are hell for me. I have a very highly developed sense of smell and taste too, which doesn't cause me any problems usually. I love growing my own food and cooking. I have some traits that can be seen as ASD but I have PTSD and it's impossible to disentangle two. I really wish my PTSD had been diagnosed and acknowledged as a child but instead it was compounded by people around me who wouldn't admit that anything bad had happened to me and didn't like that I acted different. I was the stressed out monkey that the other monkeys didn't like. I did have some time out of work a few years ago, but I'm working as a researcher again and finding it hard due to issues with my concentration, depression and anxiety.

I love creating gardens, which I think are small areas of peace and order that I can retreat to. My style is not highly manicured and can be anything from a window arrangement to a pony display or my real garden. Pony displays were my gardens when I didn't have any outdoor space. I like to make gardens for my ponies and imagine them living there. I do like taking care of ponies too and love restoring forgotten G1s. I don't compulsively groom them though; if they are looking good I just leave them in thier diorama.

I love looking at variations in colour and texture of ponies which I think is a big part of the appeal. Each one is a work of art framing the relationship between just two or three colours, a pose or 'attitude' and a concept defined by the symbol. I find the simplicity and regularity of these models allows me to focus intently in on those relationships. The sensory world is simplified in a charming and kind way that lets me ponder and doesn't overwhelm. They are all a similar size made to be held in the hand. I can look at the colour on the body or applied in a limited range of materials i.e. shiny or metallic paint, nylon hair. It love to meditate on the colours and that is how I organised my first pony display. I do keep the gens seperate and also loosely organise by time of release, mainly because it allows a visual level of regularity that I like. I re-started collecting in my late 30s after a difficult period in my life and ponies gave me a safe way to get my brain working again when I had almost zero confidence. I agree that this is a very special place and that we are lucky to have it.

[ChocolateStarfire]

My partner has Asperger's, so he totally understands my obsessions with things that others would consider childish. I love how we can just be ourselves around each other.

The best kind of relationship tbh <3

Post Merge: October 11, 2020, 06:08:04 PM

I re-started collecting in my late 30s after a difficult period in my life and ponies gave me a safe way to get my brain working again when I had almost zero confidence. I agree that this is a very special place and that we are lucky to have it.

Agree with this, too!

[Queen Sophie]

I’m a bit interesting with my case, I was diagnosed with autism as a kid but my parents didn’t want to believe the doctor so they just said I never had it and that I have communication problems (which is true), my mother didn’t want to put me under that label because she worries that people would reject me because of it. I remember was gonna take some sort of mental test and my dad told the guy who was gonna test me that I’m on the autism spectrum. I also have pdd (which is like dyslexia but with hearing and it’s hard decoding what you just heard someone say) which can be on the autism spectrum but even all that my mother says I don’t have it so I don’t really know if I have it or not.

Ponies are definitely an escape from all of this! When I often get sad, angry, emotional, etc., I like to order ponies who need tlc and clean them up or just take one of my current ponies, hold them and brush their hair! I sometimes watch a playlist of vintage mlp commercials and it genuinely makes me feel happier! (I sometimes look at g3 commercials for nostalgia!)

[Nemesis]

That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.

This.

My autistic compulsiveness over detail also can't stand that 90% of ID sites now are constructed by googling other people's sites instead of doing the proper research. I only have respect for ID site people who actually know things about what they're writing, as opposed to just copying it off another site and hoping that it's right.

That side of autism is frustrating when it comes to the pony community, because there are still SO MANY mistakes and my little aspie brain cannot stand it.

So much yes. The rise of social media and the legions of desperate people trying to get “internet famous” have really soured my online experience.

When I was growing up, it was pounded into your head to “never give out your real name or location online!”. Now, everyone just takes it for granted that that information will be visible to any random stranger in a FB group. It’s mind-boggling.

Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise.  And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.

I’m so sorry that happened to you, Taffeta.

This especially, I relate to. My posts can be a bit lengthy as well, and I’m very self-conscious about it, to the point of editing and rewriting them to be shorter sometimes.

I remember years back, when I was a teenager, I was part of a cosplay forum. It was a big forum, and a lot of people came and went. I’ll always remember one woman who was a bit quirky and wrote very long posts, and who in retrospect I believe was on the spectrum or had a similar condition. She was always very friendly and upbeat, though. A number of people who were fairly prominent in the community at the time basically dogpiled her and just openly mocked her and called her crazy TO HER FACE, IN A PUBLIC FORUM. She was never treated particularly well by the community, but a number of people were just petty and cruel. It was so sad. She eventually just stopped posting and vanished. I always remembered her though, because it all made me feel so angry and depressed. She was treated like garbage because her posts were lengthy and she was passionate about her interests and costumes (in a costuming community, no less...). I didn’t know I was autistic at that time, but I felt enough of a kinship with that person that I felt personally hurt by what happened to her.

We live in a world that places so much importance on acceptance and diversity, which is fantastic—but these noble ideals always seem to come up short of accepting neurologically diverse persons. The minute a person acts “off” or quirky, they’re shunned like we’re living back in the Dark Ages. If you wave a doctor’s note declaring your diagnosis in everyones’ faces, you might get a bit of sympathy or acknowledgment, but that’s it. As human beings, we should always be aware that the people we meet are coming from a wide variety of backgrounds, and that many people have “neurodiverse “ qualities or medical conditions that are invisible to the naked eye.

[Pheasant]

My partner has Asperger's, so he totally understands my obsessions with things that others would consider childish. I love how we can just be ourselves around each other.

The best kind of relationship tbh <3

#goals right there.  That's how relationships should be.

This is a great thread! I haven't been (officially) diagnosed myself, but as I have family members on the spectrum (who also love MLP!) I wouldn't be surprised if I have a few traits as well. Soft and / or colorful objects, such as plush and stickers, really hold my attention.

That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.

This.

My autistic compulsiveness over detail also can't stand that 90% of ID sites now are constructed by googling other people's sites instead of doing the proper research. I only have respect for ID site people who actually know things about what they're writing, as opposed to just copying it off another site and hoping that it's right.

That side of autism is frustrating when it comes to the pony community, because there are still SO MANY mistakes and my little aspie brain cannot stand it.

So much yes. The rise of social media and the legions of desperate people trying to get %u201Cinternet famous%u201D have really soured my online experience.

When I was growing up, it was pounded into your head to %u201Cnever give out your real name or location online!%u201D. Now, everyone just takes it for granted that that information will be visible to any random stranger in a FB group. It%u2019s mind-boggling.

Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise.  And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.

I%u2019m so sorry that happened to you, Taffeta.

This especially, I relate to. My posts can be a bit lengthy as well, and I%u2019m very self-conscious about it, to the point of editing and rewriting them to be shorter sometimes.

I remember years back, when I was a teenager, I was part of a cosplay forum. It was a big forum, and a lot of people came and went. I%u2019ll always remember one woman who was a bit quirky and wrote very long posts, and who in retrospect I believe was on the spectrum or had a similar condition. She was always very friendly and upbeat, though. A number of people who were fairly prominent in the community at the time basically dogpiled her and just openly mocked her and called her crazy TO HER FACE, IN A PUBLIC FORUM. She was never treated particularly well by the community, but a number of people were just petty and cruel. It was so sad. She eventually just stopped posting and vanished. I always remembered her though, because it all made me feel so angry and depressed. She was treated like garbage because her posts were lengthy and she was passionate about her interests and costumes (in a costuming community, no less...). I didn%u2019t know I was autistic at that time, but I felt enough of a kinship with that person that I felt personally hurt by what happened to her.

We live in a world that places so much importance on acceptance and diversity, which is fantastic%u2014but these noble ideals always seem to come up short of accepting neurologically diverse persons. The minute a person acts %u201Coff%u201D or quirky, they%u2019re shunned like we%u2019re living back in the Dark Ages. If you wave a doctor%u2019s note declaring your diagnosis in everyones%u2019 faces, you might get a bit of sympathy or acknowledgment, but that%u2019s it. As human beings, we should always be aware that the people we meet are coming from a wide variety of backgrounds, and that many people have %u201Cneurodiverse %u201C qualities or medical conditions that are invisible to the naked eye.

That's heartbreaking - and unfortunately all too common nowadays. It's strange how often people are shamed for being innocently passionate about something, whether it be a hobby, media, or even an animal, and be accused of having an unhealthy obsession - just because they took ten minutes to share why it's important to them.

 But if your life revolves around your favorite sports team, celebrity, or political figure? Now that's acceptable.

[Minty_Magic]

On the subject of tech...

I feel a bit like what the internet gave us at the end of the nineties is now slowly being taken away from us again.

The internet was a place where you could be quirky, different and a bit obsessive and nobody really minded. The fact this forum still exists is awesome, but I feel like now there are far fewer spaces for people to interact without encountering the mainstream expectations that make it more difficult to communicate in real life.

I know that's a blanket assumption but I don't feel like the spread to social media has helped very much. Online chat is also more challenging because it's all over the place, trying to keep up with all the things going on and react to them is more difficult, while writing on a forum like this, I can think about it, edit it, and hopefully get across what I want to say.

Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise.  And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.

Social media is all about a few words, lots of pictures, and then there's all the influencing rubbish telling people to be like other people, rather than encouraging them to be themselves. So with pony, I feel like there's a gradual shift away from that diversity that made it so attractive as a community in the first place. I don't say that other platforms shouldn't exist and I'm sure there are people on the spectrum who use them for ponies without any hesitation. But I personally find them difficult or potentially dangerous to navigate, and it worries me that one day we will lose even this space.

Oh my, you expressed what I dislike about the current era internet so much more beautifully than I ever could have. I tend to be pretty wordy when I type as well, and I feel often people just don’t read what I write on social media because they want something snappy and short. I can’t write like that, so I just don’t do social media much. I’ve also had friends tell me they don’t really read my texts because it’s too much of a wall of text. It makes me sad that so many people would rather send out something short that can be easily misinterpreted than take the time to type up something that is a little longer, but is more clear. Often I find myself reading a one sentence text 5 times over just to figure out what the heck it really means. I also can’t keep up with live chats. By the time I’ve processed the information, thought of a response, and typed up said response in a way that makes sense, the chat has moved on to a WHOLE different topic.

Nemesis, that’s so sad about what happened to that person. That’s another thing I’ve noticed in modern culture. It seems like it’s expected that you’re to be kind of cold and aloof about your interests. I’ve noticed it seems like people pour more of their energy into critiquing things they DISLIKE rather than celebrating things they like. I get that....it can be kinda weird when someone is SUPER invested in one specific thing. But at the same time, just keep your judgement to yourself. As long as it’s not something harmful, who cares if they’re super engaged in their interest?

I guess I should PROBABLY comment on the topic at hand too. I don’t think I’m on the spectrum necessarily, but I do struggle with making friends. I’ve always kind of been a lonely kid, and ponies always helped me feel a little less alone. I had a few rough patches in high school and college where being able to draw and make up stories for the ponies in my collection helped me take my mind off of feeling so sad. I also got a lot of joy out of playing with their hair, cleaning them up, making them look pretty, and all of that. Being able to be part of this community is awesome. I sincerely hope this forum never goes away, because it IS overall a very kind, and gentle place to come unwind.

[Taffeta]

Nemesis, that story is horrible and entirely relateable. Though thankfully I have never had a concerted campaign like that against my post length, I've had enough digs about it (including here on the Arena, as it happens) to make me really worry about my post length.

But I feel like being on the spectrum makes you care about things more intently than maybe other people do. Not that other people don't have strong loves for things, I am not trying to say that, but just that spectrum people become very vividly involved in whatever they are interested in, and sometimes that goes over the head of other people.

An example. Back in the old days before G3, I remember having a conversation with someone about the G2 situation and the hostility. And I linked them a song and said that it summed up the whole situation for me. And they thought I was a bit crazy. Like, what did a random song have to do with G2 MLP?

In the Jem community I once wrote an entire fanfic story based on one line in a song. I also wrote a whole anime fanfic based on one line in an anime episode. I got huge plaudits back when for doing in depth reviews of Jem eps because "nobody ever thought of doing that before". But to me that kind of thing is natural.

...I got bullied out of an anime community a year or two ago for wanting to discuss characters rather than just agreeing with the status quo that everyone should hate x and like y and basically just repeat the same kinds of comments and emojis. Now I babble about that on tumblr from time to time inbetween translating things, and actually, amazingly, I get a lot of positive responses there. Tumblr isn't as madly busy as other social media platforms, and I can edit, think and post, rather than trying to keep up with a chat feed, so that's also better. I probably like tumblr because it's not one of the most popular any more. If that makes sense.

I have just kept away from social media when it comes to MLP, because frankly it's all too busy and risky and 'normalised'. Forums were a space that gave us a platform but that's all been eroded now. It bothers me that people assume now that everyone is on social media and wants to be :/

[Ponybookworm]

Milkywaymochi & Queen Sophie: All the huggles to both of you. Your mothers sounded like they were more worried about fitting in than about loving you properly, which is such a shame.
Milkywaymochi, your mother taking away your Ponies at 10 was a terrible thing to do to you & no wonder you're still hurt about it now.
Queen Sophie, your mother should have listened to those who knew what they were doing, instead of telling you you don't "have" what you have. I need glasses,  & have done since the age of four. If I tried going about not wearing them, reading would give me the worst headache, even wi large print. There may not be such obvious solutions for the way you are different,  but surely finding the right tools to help is far better than denying a diagnosis. AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Everybody else: cheers once again!!! I love your stories of how Ponies help you too!!! Yep the Internet, & social media in particular, can be terrible. I quit Facebook due to excessive drama & selfish posts like "who's buying me a drink this weekend" (a real example & the kind of thing I'd never post online because if I couldn't afford to go out I didn't, & certainly didn't beg like that). Now I'm glad I'm not on it, & though I do have a few Discord pages now (a plush shark one, some Pony ones & a couple of writing ones), I too can find it difficult when chat moves too quickly. I also DREAD going on voice chat & will never ever ever do a video chat...

Dragglereeka, love your name on here, & love that your partner clicks so well with you xxx

Last but not least, yep, I think a lot of us write "essays" on how we feel or what we love. Me included xxx