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Wow, I think she waayyy over reacted in her response to you. I thought your message to her was perfectly reasonable. If it were me I would just cancel the listing and wash my hands of it, because it doesn't seem like your buyer is going to be reasonable about it.
Do you think maybe they misunderstand what you had said? Though in Italy they usually learn English at school, maybe she doesn't know English well or not any at all? Perhaps she used a translator that messed up what you said? I bought a couple books (Warrior Cats 'mangas') from a guy from Germany and he did not speak English, though they usually know English too.. (Luckily I understood somewhat of what he had said, and I replied in German too.. Though I think part of my reply was in English..)
I genuinely think she misunderstood. Italians get the wodden toy issue all the time (and no - it is not enforced - it's an outdated law) and with limited English I bet she completely missed the part about the actual shipping cost.I'm one of those people who can't let things go either, so I probably would write one last message reitterating.I bet she is having a good rant about "Stupid US sellers" on her Facebook right now lol