Bothvar battles depression.

[Bothvar]

Hello All,

First of all, I really don't know what I want this post to do. Perhaps only to write down what I'm feeling, and look for people who understand, and maybe give me tips?

For a long long time, I have been dealing with a depression. It's been only recently that I started with medication, and it's truely amazing to me.
But due to a mistake at the pharmacy, i've now been off meds for a week. And I really can't handle myself like this. I'm back to everything that terrified me about myself. I cry for no reason at all, stay in bed for days, am extremely irritable. I'm at my all time low and I won't see my meds for quite some time.

I Lost my job due to my depression a few weeks ago
Then I also lost my home because I'm unable to pay the rent

The only thing I have left is my partner and my collection. And as some of you who may also have mental problems might understand; When i'm sad. Upset. Doing bad. I want to collect more ponies, to take care of them, give them a nice bath, do their manes.
Where I live it's already hard to come by cute ponies. But it's even harder when you can't get out of bed. And cry when you have to leave your home.
I'm broke, I miss collecting. All my ponies are in boxes stored away because I have no place for them. I miss my little lights of my life.

All the things I love to do is collect and Roleplay. I'm alone most of the time. And collecting is hard without money.

Anyone got any tips? ofcourse I'm looking for a new job, but as many of you know, that's not an easy game to be playing right now.

Like I said before I have no idea why I'm writing this.

But I thank you if you have ANY form of advice.

[melodys_angel]

Hun, have you tried seeing if you can get in to see a social worker? They work wonders for helping you to sort out the mental mess that's going on.

I would try to get in to see the doctor as well.  If you lost your job due to a screw up at the pharmacy, they need to know, and try to atleast fix the screw up.

Im not sure what your government has, but over here people that are unemployed can ask for help to try to find work again.  People will help with your resume, and your skillset--make a good fit.  Perhaps inquire about something similar?

Lastly, I will say that I do know sort of how you feel.  Im not depressed but have other emotional things going on that cause similar symptoms.  Just know you aren't alone <3

I wont really get into it since this isn't the right board for it, but I do wish you loads of well wishes

[Nightbow]

Writing about your depression is one way to deal with it, so well done! Being depressed sucks so bad, and I imagine the siuation that you've been put in because of it doesn't help. But you can get out of it. I did, so I know you can too!

I had a lot of help, both profesional theraphy and private talks with a family member. I could not get well before I had processed what got me into that state in the first place; the mental (and mildly physical) abuse, the year-long harassment I faced in school and the fights that caused me to move away from home. Once I had a safe haven I had to rebuild my self esteem from the ground. I took at least three years before I felt like a person again. For a long time I've felt like a piece of me was permanently lost, but ten years later I have made it to a stage where I feel not the same, but whole again.

I know it's hard, but try to find someone to open up to. Sometimes professional help is necessary, because even if people love you dearly, sharing the burden of a depression may be hoplessly though. Therapy may give you an understanding of your feelings, and the tools to get around them. Also, try to find something to strive for, even if that's equally hard. A reason to get out of bed. An opportunity to feel good about who you are and what you can achive. Force yourself to take a healing walk, breath some fresh air and listen to the sounds of nature. If it's hard to go alone, try asking someone to accompany you. If you can't find the strength to do something constructive at home like tidying or baking, begin by offering someone help with that, even if isn't by doing much. Just get active in some way.

Lastly, I know the current job situation sucks too. What kind of job are you looking for? Where I come from, they are always looking for help at the nursing homes, and you have the chance to get your foot in the door during summer when everyone wants to have their vacation. Perhaps you could think about what opportunities you have to try a job you always wanted, or never gave a second thought. Or, you could dare to think about dream job and what it would take to get you there. I know from experience that if you believe you have a chance, you actually to have a chance. It's easy to say, but try to believe, or at the very least, dare to dream. It may be hard to think about keeping a job when you can barely handle life as it is, but try to see it as a healing experience, a driving force, a source of renewed energy.

These things are individual and very hard to talk about. Please note that I don't intend to undermine your feelings, just steer your mind onto new paths. I wish you all luck! And remember, you are not alone.

[pinkkittywinks]

You *need* to see a Dr, you cannot just stop taking antidepressants. Suddenly spotting many antidepressants can and in your case has made you very unwell 

I understand it's not your fault I've had pharmacys mess up my prescriptions so I always check my tablets carefully now.

Love pkw xxx

[kaoskat]

I'm afraid this is a WYP post and you do not yet have enough posts to access this feature. -kkat