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I believe you are going to have to let your seller refund payment and then resend with the correct address. First you are going to have to go into your account and add her address though. Just go to your account overview. Under your blue tabs at the top you will see several headings; all the way to the left is "profile". Hover over it and it will offer a drop down. Just choose "add or change address", change it and you're done.
You are correct about not being able to change your paypal address to add an out of country one. I just moved to the US from Canada and have had to open a new account. The problem was, they advised me to keep my old account because I have some kind of "tenure" status since it's been active for over a decade. It's really messy. Having your brother in Sydney is probably the easiest way for you to work this. Then, you can gift money from your paypal account to your brother in law and have him add the address you want your item shipped to. Good luck!