I love all the quotes from "So I Married an Axe Murderer."
"Harriet. Harry-ette. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher. Un-trust... ing. Un-know... ing. Un-love... ed? "He wants you back," he screamed into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire... except the passion of his heart. I am lonely. It's really hard. This poem... sucks. "
"HEED. PANTS. NOW!!!!"
"If you think I'm sexy, and you want my body, c'mon baby let me know!"
"We have a piper who's down! Repeat, Piper Down!"
"Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, "The paper." The paper contains facts."
"This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact."