Gender stereotypes

[Rosette]

I think letting kids like what they like is key.  It seems that's mostly a mix of traditionally boy/girl stuff.  My son loves reading books, animal toys, and wants to grow up to be a ballerina.  (So we put him in classes three years ago.  He remains the only boy in his dance school.) he likes to play football in the front yard--mostly to giggle and tackle his dad.  He loves art and ponies and board games.  He cooks a lot of pretend plastic cuisine.

My daughter has a big monster truck (the Flintstones' peddling variety).  She conquers every playground she sees and there is no physical challenge she can't conquer.  She's fearless and outgoing.

They're just different from each other and from the cardboard kids that advertisers pretend exist.  They like toys and could care less what side of the store they came from.

I played with ponies and G.I. Joes and She-ra and He-man.  Legos and XO and comic books and nail polish.  A mix. 

[minamarie]

believe it or not- i recently talked to a mother whos little son will leave his third kindergarten by the age of 3 soon because they allowed him to wear a pink princess dress out of the dressing-up-box..

[GothMummy]

Oh minamarie thats very sad, the poor little boy Even before we had our daughter, our son had "princess" dressing up clothes in his box and would wear them interchangably with his friends. I found he became aware of gender stereotypes when he started school age 5, before that he was happy to play with anything.

[Sarahlacewing]

I think letting kids like what they like is key.

^i really have to agree here. I try not to force them into anything and I try to keep myself from pushing them in a direction just because it's what I want for them (although I really hope they will try some self defense and swimming classes) As long as they are happy and safe i don't really care what they do.  Of course there are exceptions that bare no mark in gender - trying new foods, learning to read and write, potty training, naps.

[BlackCurtains]

It'll be great when everyone realizes that toys are toys, colors are colors, jobs are jobs, etc.

[Kaeldre]

I grew up playing with Street Sharks, Ninja Turtles, dinosaurs, Nerf guns, and Super Soakers.  I could have cared less about dolls, Barbies, and dress-up and my folks didn't bat an eye!  I wish more people thought like this.  Toys are toys and, as long as the child is happy, it's fine!

[SajiNoKami]

I know my ma didn't care about gender rolls, just got me toys for both and got me more of what I played with the most... Now the public elementary school and church I went to as a kid, seemed like they were trying to do the gender roll thing, annoyed the hell out of my mother.

[BigHicks1977]

Its one of the ONLY great things about getting older......I like what I like and just dont care if anyone thinks its ok or not  I am a big ole country boy that likes good smelling candles and sweet body washes and I love toys.....ALL toys from MLP and Rainbow Brite to He Man and TMNT......I will never allow anyone to tell me what I should or should not like I dont care what sex I am or what I look like....And I 100% think if you find something in this world that makes you happy and you are not hurting yourself or anyone ROCK ON!!!!!!

[Mkia]

I agree that kids should be able to play with/like whatever they'd like, regardless of their gender.

I was at Target once, and a mother and her son come down the stationary isle that I'm standing in. The little boy points to some mechanical pencils in red, pink, and yellow and says he'd like those ones. The mom quickly says, "No, those are girl colors. You should get these ones instead" and grabs some blue, green, and black ones.

I really wanted to say something, but of course I didn't because I didn't want to start anything. But really...who cares if the boy wants some red, yellow, and pink pencils?

[Wardah]

The only thing that bothers me is that a lot of people who are trying to encourage gender neutrality want to discourage girls from having "feminine" values but perhaps the better route is to encourage boys to embrace those same "feminine" values. I think it would benefit everyone.

[Whippycorn]

I get what you mean Wardah. Because some people assume 'feminine' means soft and gentle and emotional and 'masculine' means aggressive and butch and detached.   

I have never been able to understand the abject terror some parents seem to feel about their kids not complying with gender 'norms'. I wonder if it's to do with a latent homophobia? 

I think the best thing a mother can do for her daughter is lead by example, not use the 'do as I say not as I do' approach. Of course if your daughter sees you wearing makeup every day/ wearing heels/ calling yourself fat, she'll do it too, you are the most important role model she'll ever have.

[SilverRains]

Just a few days ago, I was in the pony isle of Toys R Us looking at the blindbags. I overheard a father telling his son, "No, pick a boy's toy." It made me sad to hear that. I didn't see what toy the kid had, but he wasn't even in any of the pink aisles.

[Wardah]

I get what you mean Wardah. Because some people assume 'feminine' means soft and gentle and emotional and 'masculine' means aggressive and butch and detached.   

I don't just mean from an emotional angle either, I think guys should be able to wear pink, sparkly, frilly things and long hair and it to be okay because it is simply beautiful when they do.

[fingerpaints]

I am glad people agree that it shouldn't be a problem, and I also agree that kids should be allowed to play with what they please. In my work we always set up a range of activities and never gear it towards a particular gender, I've helped numerous boys dress up in princess dresses and fairy wings, and played trucks and dinosaurs with little girls and vice versa.

I do think with boys some parents are worried about them turning out gay because they like pink or playing with dolls. It's not going to "turn" the child gay, that is something that you don't choose for yourself (I mean that in the nicest possible way, I am bi myself so no offence ment to anybody, I really don't care about sexual orientation of anyone).

As a child I played with what I wanted, and hated dolls with a passion. I used my brother as a doll though lol.

[LeighAnnApanites]

This is a great discussion. I had the proudest moment the other day when my 4yo daughter said to me, "Let's play princesses. Transform and roll out!"

She loves to play princess or fairy and with her Barbies and ponies, but also cars and trucks. "Princess" and "Prince" are relatively interchangeable and they get married in every possible combination. The biggest challenge I'm finding is that I tend to look at and buy her the toys that *I* want to play with, which are often more "girly".

I'm for letting kids be kids and whoever they want to be. Actually, I'm for that for anybody and everybody. I'm glad that it looks like civilization is starting to figure that out.