Should I allow a buyer to pay later? (Resolved! Page 2 update)

[MilkyTaroMochi]

UPDATE: The buyer did end up paying for the items yesterday, and I dropped it off at the post office in time afterwards. I consdered this resolved, Unless something else were to happen between now and whavever she gets the package.  Much thanks for the help, everyone!
[\end update]


(I hope this is the right place for this. If I’m not making any sense or need me to go more into detail, let me know!)

I’m not sure on what I should do about this situation. Never had something like this happen when it comes to eBay:

Over the weekend, a woman won my non-pony auctions, who has really good feedback (over 1,200 positive, with no negative/neutral ones) and been in communication with her over the last couple of days (she had asked a few question about the items). Going by how she would respond back, she seems like a really nice and friendly person.

After she won the items I had auctioned on Friday and Saturday, she had asked me to send her an invoice for the combined shipping and if she could pay on Monday.  I told her it was fine with me if she paid then, and sent her an invoice late Saturday.

Earlier today (around 1:30am going by when it was sent),  I got a message from her, saying that sometime late yesterday, her van got hit (and destroyed) by a hit and run driver, and had asked if she could pay for the items on the 11th or 12th due to have very little money until then. She did say that if I would rather not do that, she’d understand and try to borrow money from someone. She also apologized about the whole situation and mentioned this never happened to her before.

Part of me is a bit hesitant to let her pay on the 11th and 12th (in fear of not getting the payment at all if I wait that long) but at the same time I don’t want to be a heartless jerk (due to the car accident situation, and I totally understand why she asked if she could pay later). I don’t think she’d lie about something like this and I do want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I guess because of some horror stories I’ve read/heard about some buyers on eBay, I am a bit paranoid about this (if that makes sense).

I’m really torn about this, and not sure what I should do.  D: The items she won wasn’t crazy expensive items or anything (under $10 altogether), but still uncertain about how to handle this. I've been on eBay for a little over a year, so in some ways this kind of situation is new to me. ;_;

I really appreciate the advice/help, and hope my wording made sense. ^^

[BlondePonyTail]

While I understand that you would want to give her the benefit of the doubt, I would be skeptical of anyone who keeps wanting to pay later. My fiance' sold a large lot of action figures on Ebay around last Christmas ( something around $400), and it was his first time selling. The buyer kept saying he was going to pay... and kept asking for extensions... well he never paid. And after 32 (?) days or something like that we couldn't even send a complaint to Ebay. Thankfully we did not send the package like he asked...

In the end it is up to you. If they don't pay you can offer at second chance or relist it.

Just wanted to share our experience in a situation like this. 

[MilkyTaroMochi]

While I understand that you would want to give her the benefit of the doubt, I would be skeptical of anyone who keeps wanting to pay later. My fiance' sold a large lot of action figures on Ebay around last Christmas ( something around $400), and it was his first time selling. The buyer kept saying he was going to pay... and kept asking for extensions... well he never paid. And after 32 (?) days or something like that we couldn't even send a complaint to Ebay. Thankfully we did not send the package like he asked...

In the end it is up to you. If they don't pay you can offer at second chance or re-list it.

Just wanted to share our experience in a situation like this.

Thank you for telling me about your situation. Sorry to hear your fiance went through that.
It's why I am mixed about this: I don't want to end up letting her pay later for the items, only for her to [possibly] not pay for the items at all, even though she has 100% feedback.
I will admit that when she mention that she'd never had a situation like this before, she had mentioned her feedback, which did raises a bit of a "semi red-flag" to me (but I don't know if I'd just be paranoid or not by thinking that). Her exact wording is/was, "I'm so sorry I had to ask this, I've never had to do this before as you can tell by my feedback. I'm so sorry"

[himmie]

I have had a few situations similar to that. I do not really have an issue with waiting a bit, as long as it is not a really pricey item that I need the money from. Just make it clear that they do NOT get their item until you receive cleared payment.

One person asked for a few extra days, which I said was fine. They ended up paying the next day, apparently they had gotten things sorted.

I had another buyer that asked for an entire week to pay. I agreed. On the day they were set to send payment, they asked to cancel one of the items. The reason? They realized they already had it in their collection. I was irritated about that. Total time waster. They did send payment for the item they still wanted but I would have preferred to have the other item re-listed right away.

Both of those buyers had 100 % positive feedback. So, it's hard to know.

[michelle53]

Everyone is nice until you start going after them for money.  With some people, there's always a sob story as to why they can't send you payment.  I don't know, maybe she is hard up for money right now, but she should have asked you to cancel the transaction if she can't afford it.  The 12th is just too far away!

I don't think you're a bad person if you ask her to pay within the window of time you initially set the auction for.  In fact, I think she's in the wrong for even asking you to delay the payment!  Unfortunately, there are some buyers who act sweet and kind, but only do so because they're trying to guilt you into meeting their demands. 

[banditpony]

I think I'm a complete sucker. I would give the extension. I understand life, and stuff happens. And if someone has to lie about it, whatever... if they lie, then what goes around comes around.
 
But, if you don't feel comfortable with doing so-- don't do it.

[michelle53]

I think I'm a complete sucker. I would give the extension. I understand life, and stuff happens. And if someone has to lie about it, whatever... if they lie, then what goes around comes around.
 
But, if you don't feel comfortable with doing so-- don't do it.

I'm a sucker too, but she's pretty much asking for a 2 week extension.  If it were 3 or 4 days, fine.  But I just think it's too much time to ask for.  If I wrecked my van, I wouldn't be worried about eBay auctions; I'd ask to cancel the transaction instead.  I totally understand that 'stuff happens', but to me, this is an unreasonable request.

[banditpony]

I know where you are coming from Michelle... I think 2 weeks would be my max limit. Although 2 weeks kinda makes sense if you think about paydays. BUT! As I said, I think if Milky feels uncomfortable, she shouldn't give the person the extension.

And I'm the same way, if my car got wrecked via hit and skip... I'd probably just flat out apologize and ask for a cancelation. Ugh, because I have had my car hit before.

[ponylady]

*raises hand* I am a sucker too for extensions. I haven't waited two weeks though, maybe a week at the latest.

I think it's up to you Milky whether you want to wait for payment. If you are not comfortable or need the money right away, then I would just tell your buyer that. And make it sound good and apologize for her hit and run but that it's really not your problem. Because whether she is telling the truth or not it's really not your problem. She also makes mention that she can borrow money, so she may just have to do that and owe a family member the money and not you 

[MilkyTaroMochi]

You guys really bring up some good points/advice! I really appreciate you guys helping me out with this.

The time extension is what bothers me the most. If it was only a few days from now, I'd have no problems with it, but since she asking for basically until next Friday to pay, it's really "pushing it". I guess "pay-day" wise, it makes sense,  and I can be very sympathetic/understanding about big situations like this, but...
And I did think about how instead of asking to cancel the items, she wants to be able to pay at a later date (which I do find a bit odd, considering her situation). If it was me, I'd either [most likely] ask to cancel the items or still pay on time (assuming I had the extra money to do so, and the item/cost wasn't a pricey one).

I do want to send a reply message back and after thinking about it some, I don't really feel comfortable giving that long of an extension for payment, but I'm not sure how to respond back without possibly coming off really "un-caring about the situation". Should I just basically say to her that although I am really sorry to hear about what happened to her van, I don't feel comfortable waiting that long for a payment and just leave it at that (more or less)?

[nhal039]

ok I am a sucker for extensions too. Personally I would say yes unless I really needed the money, I would only say yes cause I too have been in the situation of winning stuff then having a car crash (well the hubbie crashed but he makes the money I spend) I was allowed an extension but I ended up borrowing some money and paying ahead of time anyway, some people genuinely have things come up, I guess others make up lies but I think if she were lieing it would have come up in feedback and she has alot

[LittleKirara]

I was going to say to give her the doubt or ask if she could pay for some of it now UNTIL I read that her total is under 10 bucks! Even if she is telling the truth about her van, she should be able to scrap together that small of amount.

Maybe I sound heartless, but really under 10? That doesn't take 2 weeks to get.

I would tell her your not comfortable waiting that long, maybe offer to cancel her order with out ruining her feedback score or reporting her.

[lovesbabysquirmy]

I was going to say to give her the doubt or ask if she could pay for some of it now UNTIL I read that her total is under 10 bucks! Even if she is telling the truth about her van, she should be able to scrap together that small of amount.

Maybe I sound heartless, but really under 10? That doesn't take 2 weeks to get.

I would tell her your not comfortable waiting that long, maybe offer to cancel her order with out ruining her feedback score or reporting her.

Yeah.... if we're talking a substantial amount, that's excusable to cancel the transaction if there's a "good reason".  And there hardly ever is, if we're talking about discretionary spending on toys.  If it's under $20, she can take something to a pawn shop if she's that hard up for cash.    Under no circumstances allow her to wait TWO weeks to pay!  Give her the standard amount of time to pay and then open a non-paying bidder case. 

[MilkyTaroMochi]

I did send her a message yesterday evening about how I wasn't comfortable waiting that long for a payment, and mentioned that I was sorry to hear about her van. She has yet to respond, so I am not too sure on what to d at this point. Hopefully she responds by Thursday morning, at the very latest. If she doesn't respond by then, would it be okay to open an unpaid item case on her at that point?

[LittleKirara]

I did send her a message yesterday evening about how I wasn't comfortable waiting that long for a payment, and mentioned that I was sorry to hear about her van. She has yet to respond, so I am not too sure on what to d at this point. Hopefully she responds by Thursday morning, at the very latest. If she doesn't respond by then, would it be okay to open an unpaid item case on her at that point?

Absolutely! By then you would have given her more than enough time.