adoption experience/advice

[True]

This might seem like.. a bit out of the blue I guess. Because I really don't bring much of my "life" here to the arena. xD Mainly because the Arena is my "fun get away" zone. But this is something Iv been thinking about for a long... very long time lol.

Iv noticed a couple people around here have adopted or fostered children, and id just like some.. maybe experience stories, or what to expect, how did you find your way into it.. etc. what should I know?

Iv personally always wanted to adopt, when I was younger, I actually never wanted to get pregnant. Dont misunderstand xD my son is the most important person in my life haha. The last few years though iv been thinking more about having kids. I honestly do not want to get pregnant again, mainly because I dont have a partner, and I dont want to do that emotional roller coaster alone "again." There are a LOT of other things, that I'm not ready to talk about here, things that Iv been fighting with myself for most of my life xD, that tell me that adoption is the one and only best option for me.

Iv always wanted two kids at least, so if I ever do meet that "someone" its not like id be lost for opportunity to have more kids with that person. But my family also has a tendency to some how make a lot of boys xD, I dont want to be my sister, whos still having lots of boys in hopes of someday having a girl rofl. basically, id like the next one to be a girl rofl.

ok so back on the topic.. xD if you've adopted a child, or specially adopted a very young child, or newborn. or literally any experiences lol. Id love to hear them. This is obviously something iv been actively thinking about for many years, and its not something I will actually act on for probably a couple more years. im very cautious with things like this. Im not just looking for the comforting, happy stories. though id love to hear those also. Even just your thoughts?

[kaoskat]

I have no stories, but I've wanted to adopt since I was a child too. I always thought I was weird! I'd love to hear stories as well.

[melodys_angel]

I dont have any stories for you, but I do want to wish you the best of luck in the event things do go that way <3

[GazeboMouse]

Yup, sorry, no advice or stories, but have wanted to adopt since I was 3 and still haven't been able to yet, so watching this thread as it develops!

[kaninchen]

modern adoption is very very expensive, exclusive and difficult for a single individual to manage. the system is skewed heavily in favour upper middle class heteronormative married WASPS.

this doesn't mean it's impossible, but it's a very very difficult process. it took nearly a decade for my friends to jump through all the legal hoops and they were as close to "ideal" candidates as you could imagine.

this is quite messed up.

[True]

modern adoption is very very expensive, exclusive and difficult for a single individual to manage. the system is skewed heavily in favour upper middle class heteronormative married WASPS.

this doesn't mean it's impossible, but it's a very very difficult process. it took nearly a decade for my friends to jump through all the legal hoops and they were as close to "ideal" candidates as you could imagine.

this is quite messed up.

That is sort of the message iv received so far, just in my own research. Which is sort of what scares me. I obviously dont plan on actively pursuing this until I'm happy and confident with everything, being life, job, home etc.  But right now, just reading through a lot of the information, makes me feel like foolish for even thinking about it. I had to stop myself from asking a mod to delete this topic like 3 or 4 times just since i posted it.

lol I guess I'm just really weird. I haven't even really suggested that iv even ever thought about this to my family either. I can actually see my dad telling me to not waste my money, as though i was buying an expensive pet, and have my own kids. xD I love him, hes just very blunt and sort of old fashion in thought. its also one of those "easier said then done" things... I don't plan on dating or getting married any time soon, im not saying i WILL NEVER, or that ill turn down the opportunity if it should happen. lol this is just where iv been for the past few.. many years haha. And to be honest Id prefer not to get pregnant again. which my whole family thinks is weird, because out of my mom and my sister (who were both miserable) I had a great pregnancy xD and I have an unnaturally high pain tolerance so natural labor was really nothing rofl.

[BlackCurtains]

It it seriously backwards when adopting homeless children is made so difficult but ANYONE can get pregnant and be allowed to keep their baby. It's so very wrong

I don't have any advice or stories but I just wanted to commend you for considering adoption and I really hope that it's something you can do one day It is very respectable. Kudos to you!

[Vintergatan]

It it seriously backwards when adopting homeless children is made so difficult but ANYONE can get pregnant and be allowed to keep their baby. It's so very wrong

This annoys me so much! Those poor children! Who knows how many children in grave need of a good home have missed out because of all this stupid bureaucracy

My husband and me are also going to adopt if we ever feel ready for children so I'll be watching this too I am especially interest to hear people's experience with adopting older kids (as in, not babies)