Children these days.

[Sarahlacewing]

I'm all for freedom of expression.  I think as children grow and they have the maturity to make choices it's important to give them opportunities to do so.  That being said, I feel very young children are not at an age that they fully understand some of implications of actions/dress/etc.  And I think there is a serious problem with the way our society portrays women and expects women to dress and behave. 

Some of these 'hooker clothes' are not setting these children up for a positive body image.  In my opinion, it's not empowering for a 7 year old to wear painful 3 inch high heel boots and booty shorts in the winter. Or buy lingerie and bras they can't even fill out.   Infants don't need bikinis.  Children shouldn't get plastic surgery... etc. Some of this stuff identifies them as a sexual creature and I don't think that 10-11-12 years olds are capable of handling sexual relationships. I'm not saying every very young child who dresses provocatively will get molested.  But dressing in order to be sexy and attract boys/men does say something mentally about what a girl sees as valuable about herself. We have to deal with so much baggage and crap as adults.  I would rather see children hold off on the adult stuff as long as they can. 

I know I am a prude. But I do think kids grow up too fast.  Or else what it means to be a kid is changing. 

[xeevee]

I think we have a bit of a rose tinted way of seeing the past.  When I was in school there were girls who were expelled for getting pregnant at 14 (yeah I went to a school who would expel people for getting pregnant), I had a few friends who had babies before finishing high school.  I knew lots of people who were hardly respectful of adults.  In fact, I was pretty goody two shoes in school, and I swore at teachers on occasion. 

My Mum would go meet ships and pick up sailors, and she was pregnant when she got married the first time at 18, and she also was pregnant (with me) the second time got married. 

And I'm not from a low income/social status either.  I was sent to expensive private schools, I have a University education, I even owned a pony and went to pony club.  So I'm sure it was worse in schools where people didn't have as much money and were considered lower class.

Romeo and Juliet is about a 18 year old boy and a 14 year old girl, so it goes WAY back.

[kaoskat]

 

[ZennaBug]

I work at the kid's club of a gym and the majority of the kids I get (between 6 months and 12 years) are delightful.  Some little girls wear shorter skirts, but they are always wearing leggings with them.  I personally wouldn't let my daughter (this is a hypothetical daughter, since I have no kids yet) go out in something revealing, but that's my own personal opinion of the matter.  I don't think parents who let their kids dress otherwise are necessarily bad parents, I just wouldn't do it.

i can't tell you how many times teens come through and ask for "birth control stick" at work.
i. am. in. shock.

if you don't even know what its called, you shouldn't be having sex.

To be fair, I went on birth control when I was 15, purely for medical reasons.  So you can't always assume that they're sexually active, some may be in a situation like I was.  And for those who are active already, the fact that they don't know what it's called shows me that they haven't gotten the proper education (either from parents or from the school) on the subject.  At least they're trying to be safe...

[Eviecorn]

It's a difficult statement to blanket kids with, but sometimes it is the case.  I teach teenagers and I do see that with quite a few of my girls - getting involved in adult-level drama with relationships, having babies, etc.  It sucks because you want to shake them and tell them just how short your childhood is and that you should wait for all those adult problems ... you know, for adulthood.

I'm not going to really attack their ways of dressing (unless the parent makes them wear those items of clothing - in that case, there's something inherently wrong.)  But the behavior?  It's all kinds of different factors, when some kids really don't get enough parental guidance unfortunately, and some have parents who have the time to teach an influence but don't because it's not easy or they don't want to be "mean."  I dunno.

[TrixieStix]

It's the lack of respect that youngsters are showing that worries me. Most do not seem to respect elders, rules, each other or them selves.

I see this a lot too!  There's a lot of tough issues going on right now for children and they have to go through a totally different childhood experience. Respect of space/feelings/opinions/other lives seems to be lower than I remember it being. (There was always name calling/playing around) but there seems to be a higher level of intensity and it started escalating when I was high school even.

Of course there are always nice thoughtful children too!~

[HoustonCollector72]

It can be many factors, culture,education,or the lack of them
I do not have kids, but my siblings kids are way too demanding, they know what they want to wear since they are 2 or so,is not easy to guide a kid,but some parents just give up at some point,the kids are great in school ,but also pier pressure there is another factor,they have to fit in and stand out seems to be the deal these days,so it is a different world for them,nothing like how it was when i was a kid.

[Katika]

I haven't read through all of the replies yet, but had to step in at the sequined booty short comment.  When my brother and I were little, my mom and dad would actually let us dress ourselves most days, if we wanted to.  This ended up with my brother wearing red snow boots almost year 'round (to look like He-Man) and me wearing Halloween costumes (I was a pink unicorn more than one year...) whenever we wanted to.  It was tons of fun when we were little bitty, and also taught us the lesson as we aged that appearances and how you dress yourself *can* matter.  There's a chance that that little girl just really loved those booty shorts that day and her mom decided it would be easier to let her wear them than deal with an argument about it.

That said, I agree with the statement that tweens and younger are NOT young men and women, they are still children, and as such, I do believe that there is a certain level of sheltering and protection from society that adults ought to give them.  I also think that the biggest part of the problem might be from how many things are "bad" and "off limits" to children - Don't party, it's bad!  Don't have sex, it's bad!  Don't drink, it's bad!  Don't cuss, it's bad!  Children don't learn by being told what *not* to do, they learn by being shown what is right to do.  The more limits that get placed on them, the more they want to push them, and that's where a lot of this trouble comes from.

[Ivaness]

I would like to make a comment on the disrespect to adults comment.

My son has Autism and there are so many times where I'll take him into the store, he'll have a melt down because he can't have something... and the comments that ADULTS make, break my heart. Comments about my parenting, how bad my child is, how I need to take him out and spank him. FROM ADULTS. Children are more understanding to him than adults are.

Children learn from the adults in their lives.

But I swear to God, the next time someone says something and I can hear it, I will look them dead in the eye and say "Autism. 1 in 54 boys. 1 in 88 children. So, you need to think before you say anything else."
Sorry for the mini rant.

And Katika, I agree completely! The more you tell a child they can't do something, OF COURSE they'll want to do it. Haha.

[ZennaBug]

Aww, Ivaness.  I've worked with several autistic kids (and a handful of others who I suspect also are autistic, but haven't been tested) and they can be a challenge sometimes, but they're still wonderful kids and super sweet.  I'm sorry so many adults are rude about it, that's disheartening.  It's ridiculous to make assumptions about someone else's child without knowing their situation.

[Mintymints]

I hate it.. I'm ashamed to be my age and born in my generation. It's pathetic... But. what can you do :/

[Falconaitae]

The more you tell a child they can't do something, OF COURSE they'll want to do it.

Just like cats ^_^

On topic: Ultimately it's up to the parents. I see many parents blaming school for not raising children properly, or "destroying" them. Well, noone can do parents' job except the parents. And sadly many are not ready or  not preapred for the task.

[Spike]

I work at the kid's club of a gym and the majority of the kids I get (between 6 months and 12 years) are delightful.  Some little girls wear shorter skirts, but they are always wearing leggings with them.  I personally wouldn't let my daughter (this is a hypothetical daughter, since I have no kids yet) go out in something revealing, but that's my own personal opinion of the matter.  I don't think parents who let their kids dress otherwise are necessarily bad parents, I just wouldn't do it.

i can't tell you how many times teens come through and ask for "birth control stick" at work.
i. am. in. shock.

if you don't even know what its called, you shouldn't be having sex.

To be fair, I went on birth control when I was 15, purely for medical reasons.  So you can't always assume that they're sexually active, some may be in a situation like I was.  And for those who are active already, the fact that they don't know what it's called shows me that they haven't gotten the proper education (either from parents or from the school) on the subject.  At least they're trying to be safe...

Yes, my birth control was for excessive monthly pains. Like pains that could possibly kill me. I am not sexually active, but again, I'm 20.

I just think they're lacking education these days. I particularly don't like being told to **** off by an 11 year old! Which did happen. It was horrible. Their respect for adults has greatly decreased. Role models are usually their magazine superstars from Hollywood that put on so much makeup and wear skimpy clothes.

Movies and film also influence them to act the way they do these days. Back in the 30's (Shirley Temple time), look how they acted and look how polite they were then. Using names like "Miss" for ladies, and usually using their manners. Nowadays, I've noticed more and more are rude and disrespectful.

It makes me sad, will my children to be be like that? I hope not



Post Merge: December 06, 2012, 12:14:00 AM

I would like to make a comment on the disrespect to adults comment.

My son has Autism and there are so many times where I'll take him into the store, he'll have a melt down because he can't have something... and the comments that ADULTS make, break my heart. Comments about my parenting, how bad my child is, how I need to take him out and spank him. FROM ADULTS. Children are more understanding to him than adults are.

Children learn from the adults in their lives.

But I swear to God, the next time someone says something and I can hear it, I will look them dead in the eye and say "Autism. 1 in 54 boys. 1 in 88 children. So, you need to think before you say anything else."
Sorry for the mini rant.

And Katika, I agree completely! The more you tell a child they can't do something, OF COURSE they'll want to do it. Haha.

I know how you feel, in my own books though. I have Aspergers and I've had meltdowns before yeah. My mother never really understood disabilities so she spanked me, grounded me etc. I didn't know what I was doing wrong back then. I didn't know why I got so angry and why I couldn't control it. Sometimes I didn't know why I got spanked.
No one has told my mum that though when I was a kid. She did it anyway lol. I don't think she took the right approach though. I get along with people younger than me and older than me because they're more understanding and less judgmental.

That's horrible that someone would tell you to smack your autistic baby. We needn't to be hit, we need to be understood.

That's my story though. Back on topic.

I saw this young lady today, who is 12. I had a conversation with her and asked what she does for a living. And she told me:

"I play with my barbie dolls and play Mario sometimes on my brothers".

She was young, no makeup, clean clothes, looked extremely innocent. She is what I remember children to be!

[TeddyAndTex]

Personally, I'm saddened by kids today. I do not know how many times I'm in Walmart, trying to talk to my parents about what I want to eat for the week and kids just run around causing havoc while the parents do nothing. Now I'm a generally quiet person who'll just try to ignore it but my parents tend to give them a piece of their mind. I remember we had some neighbors who were only a couple of years younger than me (I was eleven at the time and they were nine and ten) and, while the little girl was generally well behaved she dressed rather inappropriately for her age and listened to music that was  a little on  the, ahem, nasty side of the lyrics department (a lot of Brittany Spears, Ke$a, etc.) I like to try and distance myself from kids today (even though I'm only a teenager myself) because I generally cannot relate to them.

[Broken Irishwoman]

While there may be excuses for children's clothes that too revealing, there is no excuse for children's clothes that have prints on them that say "Hot", "Miss Sexy", "Kiss Me" and whatnot. It's disgusting.