Geez Cazz, this doesn't sound like a normal experience on Ebay. You got hit hard with some very shady sellers. What kind of feedback did they have?
The only advice I can give is to understand that some sellers are bad and some are good. The established ones that have Top Rated Seller status tend to be more professional. For instance, if you see a seller with 20 feedback and they are starting an auction for a penny, there's a better chance that something might go wrong than with someone who has 200 feedback TRS and lists a pony for $5.
Also, many times these sellers list in the description "pony is good" or something to that effect. Always check to see if the description covers the basics and has more than one line.
Many of the newbies just don't understand how the bidding works and list very low starting bids and low shipping. Then they get bitter when the price doesn't jump and either start the excuse or lying game.
Of course, not everything is set in stone. Some established sellers may be not so great and some starting out sellers are awesome. But generally, you'll be better off searching for sellers that are well established. Especially since you are having such a hard time right now.