SUPERMONSTER SPOTLIGHT
Eyevette Triclops
Written by Robonce
Photography by Nightmare Nigel
There are a plethora of top monsters in the fashion industry, but very few are household names. Tyra Fangs, Janice Witchinson, Kate Moss, Naomi Cannibal - those are the heavy hitters, the names that the fashion world cringes and bows to. But there is a group of up-and-coming models that are getting widespread attention as well - names like Nefera DeNile, Clawdeen Wolf, and the biggest export to come out of The Cyclopian Islands since Polyphemus - Eyevette Triclops.
I had the opportunity to interview Eyevette during filming for America's Next Top Monster in Scaris. Eyevette was staying at the Nightmare Premiere Hotel and Spa along with myself and Tyra and company. Over the last few months, I have watched Eyevette rise to prominence in the fashion world, particularly during Fashion Week. She appeared in Skullan, Scaris, and Bloodon walking the runway for major designers including Stella McZombellina, Venom Wang, and Marc Jekyll. People are calling her 'the next Tyra Fangs', and as you can imagine, Eyevette's name has been forbidden from being mentioned in the ANTM studio. But Eyevette wasn't did not seem to be fazed when she learned that information, and she was a pro at dismissing Nigel's unwanted advances and lewd comments during their photography session together. Eyevette also had much to say about the final six in the running for America's Next Top Monster...
Robonce: It is so wonderful to finally meet you, Eyevette. [We hug. Uncomfortably. Hugs make my gears turn cold.] How are you?
Eyevette: I'm doing wonderful, thanks. Oh, and congratulations on your new baby. She's adorable!
Robonce: Actually, Dead-Z and I have not yet decided whether or not Robo-Baby is a he or a she. With the crank of a gear, we can change its sex.
Eyevette: [There is an expression of shock on Eyevette's face. I assume she is foreign to this concept. She should not be so stunned. She has a third eye after all.] That's some pretty crazy s*** right there, Robonce. You're not kidding with me, are you?
Robonce: I never kid. [Eyevette gulps. I am known to have that effect on people.] How did you enjoy Fashion Week in Scaris? It was only a few months ago.
Eyevette: It was an amazing experience. I've walked the runway before in New Zombieland and I've participated in some small shoots for 1700 magazine, but I've never participated in a Fashion Week until now.
Robonce: The designers this season appear to be enchanted with you. My close friend Naomi Cannibal had stellar things to say about you and your work, and she rarely says that about anyone. [I am not by any means attempting to diss my close friend Naomi; I am merely stating fact, as my artificial brain only allows me to speak the truth. Always.]
Eyevette: Ah, Naomi. She was really sweet to me. I’ve heard that her and Tyra have a long-standing feud. I guess they’ve worked that out now?
Robonce: Perhaps. I am no stranger to controversy myself, and neither are the remaining six ANTM contestants. Have you read the tabloids? It was discovered that Kalma once weighed triple her current body weight, Jordan is a total floozy, and recently eliminated contestants Rhonda and Abbey got themselves into a world of trouble as well. Do you have any advice to these ghouls when it comes to life in the spotlight?
Eyevette: Lesson one: assume someone is watching (and listening) to you at all times. Don’t make cracks at designers, your fellow models, or clients. You will lose jobs. You will lose money. Once you reach supermonster status, the rules change. But until that time, play nice. And watch out for the cameras. The monsterazzi are known for poking their cameras up models’ skirts, stalking them all the way to Gloom Beach, anything to get the juiciest photo they can. Don’t fall for their trap. And don’t shave your head in front of them like Brit did. I beg of you.
Robonce: I dread the monsterazzi as well. Which remaining contestant do you think will be the center of the next tabloid smear campaign?
Eyevette: I don’t know any of the models personally, but based on their photoshoots alone, I’d have to say that right now Cupid is the baddest bitch on the block. She lost her momentum for a bit there after her amazing monster movie poster shot, but for the last two weeks she has KILLED IT. I can’t wait to see what she does next. Unfortunately her success means that the monsterazzi will be hounding her. Hopefully she won’t buckle under the pressure.
Robonce: Already eight models have been eliminated from the competition. Which of those do you think will continue on in a modeling career?
Eyevette: Abbey may have not made it to the top six, but she’s the type that doesn’t give up. I can see that right away in her. It was unfortunate that Rhonda had to withdraw from the competition, but I have a feeling I’ll see her around in the modeling world one day soon.
Robonce: The top six monsters come from a range of species – skeletons, werewolves, sea monsters, vampires. Do any of these species have a natural disadvantage when it comes to modeling? A natural advantage?
Eyevette: I think Kalma probably has the biggest disadvantage seeing as she isn’t flesh and blood. It’s hard to model and make clothes look good when you’re all bone! Maybe that’s why she’s so often at the top of the pack – she has to work so much harder to prove that she can be a model too. Advantage-wise, I’m going to have to go with Aria. Her face is so extraordinarily beautiful in every damned shot.
Robonce: But as Tyra often says, it is not just about being beautiful. In modeling, ugly-pretty trumps pretty. [Ugly-pretty…my supercomputer of a brain has difficulty comprehending this phrase.]
Eyevette: True, pretty can only take you so far. Designers and photographers want to see something more than a beautiful face and a killer body – they want to see something unique. Tyra Fangs’ ginormous forehead made her famous, as did Kate Moss’ wideset eyes. I would encourage the models to find their ‘weird feature’ and market it to its full potential. For someone like Jordan, I would encourage her to use the one asset her competitors don’t have – her wolf-like ears. There is so much she can do with them, so much expression she can show by the angle of her ears, or the sort of piercings she wears in them.
Robonce: [I secretly wonder if Eyevette has spotted a weird feature on me, but I refrain from asking. Instead, I turn the tables on her.] Eyevette, what would you consider to be your weirdest feature?
Eyevette: Definitely my third eye, yet I also think my Mohawk sets me apart from most models out there. It’s edgy, it’s high fashion, and versatile. I am incredibly thankful that I made the decision to shave off both sides of my head!
Robonce: Speaking of high fashion hairstyles, suppose you were to give the final six makeovers. What would each ghoul look like when you were through with her?
Eyevette: Ooh, that’s a fabulous questions. Nanami has such a sweet face, so I’d give her a cute little pixie cut. Kalma has such incredibly strong features, so I’d probably give her a hairdo to match that – perhaps a Cleopatra –style hairdo, but in a shocking color such as green or red. I think Lilitha’s general look works for her as a model, so I’d probably keep the bangs, straighten her hair, and give her a very slight trim. Cupid looks fantastic in short pink hair as well – I wouldn’t change a thing. Who does that leave? Ah, Jordan and Aria. For Jordan, I’d give her some wave and dye her hair a much darker color to offer a bit of contrast with her pale grey skin and really bring out her blue eyes. Then I’d give Aria some curls and we’d call it a day!
Robonce: Very nice, Eyevette. I am not completely sold on the idea of Kalma in green hair [Was Eyevette being serious?] but I like the idea of her with bangs. And I particularly would LOVE to see Nanami with a pixie cut.
Eyevette: Maybe Tyra will give them makeovers after all! But seriously, I think Cupid rocks that pink hair and doesn’t need a makeover at all.
Robonce: You appear to be a big fan of Cupid. Any advice for her?
Eyevette: Just to remain consistent. She’s set the bar extremely high for herself and the other contestants, so one wrong slip and… [Eyevette makes the guillotine gesture across her neck].
Robonce: Now, the judges always have something to say about the contestants – good or bad. For instance, while Kalma consistently appears to do well and ranks high in the public vote, the judges say they would like her to loosen up more. What do you think they mean?
Eyevette: I used to hear that all the time myself before I booked my first gig. I was a bit too perfectly posed during photoshoots. Then I learned that it’s ok to let your hair down - figuratively and literally. Designers and photographers like the edgy and unpredictable. It’s what keeps fashion going! At the same time, loosening up too much can be hazardous as well. It still has to be fashionable, not totally crazy!
Robonce: Good advice. As I am sure you know, Lilitha barely survived the last challenge. Do you think she has what it takes to be America’s Next Top Monster, or do you think the judges made a mistake?
Eyevette: Honestly, it’s so, so hard to say. Now that it’s down to the final six, she has to live each photoshoot like it’s her last and bring her A-game each and every time.
Robonce: Now that I think about it, four of the top six have never even made it to the bottom two yet. Do you think they have an advantage over Lilitha and Nanami, who have both spent time at the bottom as of late?
Eyevette: Things can change so rapidly between one challenge to the next, so I definitely wouldn’t say that those two are at a disadvantage. Both are great models and getting better week by week. Nanami really blew me away this week with her tribute to Janis Chomplin. I’ve always been a big fan of Janis, and I got goosebumps when I saw that collage.
Robonce: Jordan and Aria, monsters who have never been in the bottom two before, placed fourth and fifth in the judges’ callout this week. What is your advice to a ghoul who is placing at the middle of the pack?
Eyevette: Now that so few ghouls are left in the competition, it’s a matter of placing the best of the best in order. My advice would be not to give up or let that get you down. Being consistent isn’t a bad thing, and neither is escaping the bottom two! But the reality is that only one contestant can win a competition like ANTM, so placing as high as possible in the public poll and the judges’ callout is ideal! And believe me, competing on a reality competition like ANTM isn’t an actual reflection of how good of a model you are. Last cycle, both Toralei and Howleen were eliminated, but both have stuck with modeling and are making a career out of it.
Robonce: ANTM has been criticized in the past by the High Fashion Counsel for not actually producing any ‘real’ supermonsters. Do you agree?
Eyevette: Absolutely not. Besides, it’s not America’s Next Top Supermonster – It’s America’s Next Top Model! And it’s a reality competition. That’s not to say contestants cannot successfully transition into the real modeling world, but I don’t think ANTM promises to make anyone a supermonster. What you do get is a fashion spread in Morgue Italia and a $100,000 contract with Cover Ghoul. Anyone who can handle that is a model in my book.
Robonce: Excellent advice, Eyevette. One last question – who do you think will win America’s Next Top Monster?
Eyevette: Um…um…well, Aria and Kalma always do so well, but lately Cupid has been the top dog! But then I really like Nanami, and Jordan is so…Jordan! And Lilitha takes great shots too. [Eyevette makes sad werewolf pup eyes, although her middle eye just seems to twitch.] Do I have to pick just one?!
Robonce: You know, as an artificial life form with a supercomputer operating in place of a brain, I can estimate the probability of each contestant winning. Would you like to know?
Eyevette: No! [Eyevette covers her ears.] No, no, no! I want to be surprised.
Robonce: Very well. [I roll my eyes – a learned behavior I picked up from Janice Witchinson.] It was a pleasure to meet you, Eyevette, and I will be sure to pass on your words of advice and encouragement to the remaining six contestants. They will be so excited to know you are a fan of the show.
Eyevette: Please do. I can’t wait to see who takes it all. May the best ghoul win!
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