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Author Topic: Confused about how long I should wait...?  (Read 534 times)

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Offline Ligress

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Confused about how long I should wait...?
« on: May 18, 2012, 01:32:30 PM »
Ok, so heres the deal...
I really have been hesitant to even post as I don't like ruffling feathers and
I don't have hard feelings... but I am starting to wonder if I am bothering someone.=/

I have a few things I have been trying to buy -from someone who had them up for sale/trade - but they don't ever seem to
respond in a regular fashion, and the few times they do they say they will check on it and get back to me. Its been spans of months at this point, and I feel like maybe they just don't want to sell it anymore and don't want to tell me so that makes me feel like crap that they can't just tell me they changed their mind? I don't want to be pushy =(
The whole thing is starting to make me feel like a bad person indirectly.

The strangest thing to me is one thing I asked about was even sold/not available after I had asked if they were selling it I'd appreciate a message ...and I thought they had said sure, they would. Maybe I misread it, ok, sure. Then I asked again lately about the second item I asked about long ago. They responded ...they'd check. Now its back to read and no reply.  Now, I am not usually this persistent but, I seriously cannot get these same items from someone else.

Am  I bugging them? Should I message them and ask if they would like me to stop asking? I know they read my messages...they are opened on the various places I try to talk to them on. They respond to other people. At this point I feel like I am inappropriate by even messaging them. Should I give up? Am I being rude...? I feel really stupid at this point and need some advice =/
« Last Edit: May 18, 2012, 01:34:15 PM by Ligress »
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Offline babystarz

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Re: Confused about how long I should wait...?
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2012, 01:38:29 PM »
I say give up at this point, simply because if this person can't even get back to you with availability and prices, do you really trust them to ship in a reasonable time frame? I don't think you're the one being rude, this person could at least take the time to say "sorry, but no thanks."
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Offline Dragonflitter

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Re: Confused about how long I should wait...?
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2012, 01:44:51 PM »
I was setting up a trade with someone and they stopped responding to my pm's halfway through talking out the trade details, so I was in a similar situation to you. When they didn't respond to me in a while I thought "Should I send another pm? Would that be rude? Should I wait longer?"

I waited two weeks and the person didn't respond, so I sent a follow up "Are you still interested? Did you get my other pm?" and after another two weeks with no response, I gave up. I think waiting 1 or 2 weeks between pm's is enough time to wait, if they haven't responded to you by then, they're probably not going to.
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Offline Sarahlacewing

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Re: Confused about how long I should wait...?
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2012, 05:14:27 PM »
I know I am really bad about answering my messages.  With a sales thread especially it's hard to gauge who is really serious about buying and who has a passing fancy.  I think a quick message to remind them you are actively buying is pretty good.  Usually I don't hear back form people so I get really lacks about communication assuming they've changed their minds. 
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Offline Ringlets

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Re: Confused about how long I should wait...?
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2012, 06:08:32 PM »
:hug:  how frustrating for you! I think many of us have had to deal with this situation at one time or another (me included) so please dont feel bad  .  I think at this point I wouldnt message the person anymore. If they had only failed to respond to a message  then I would try again, but the fact that they arent answering mulitple PMs is a bit concerning. Lets say they did eventually get back to you, and you send a payment. What happens if the item is late, lost, or damaged. If the communication is already difficult at this stage then I dont think it would be worth attempting to go through with this, even if they did respond now  :awake:
I know some items are HTF and that makes it even more difficult in this kind of situation, but even very rare items will always come up for sale again  ;)  Maybe it would be best to post a Wanted thread if you havent done so already? that way people will contact you if they have these items for sale, rather than you having to look for people selling them :)  you can always put a link to your wanted thread in your signature too
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