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Honestly, if it was me, I'd just take the refund, leave them a negative, and look elsewhere. It's the seller's responsibility to know how much shipping will be, not you. When I sell stuff, if I underestimate shipping, I suck it up and absorb the cost. I know that can be hard with an item you really want, tho
I would email her and ask if they have been sent or not. And explain that you are under no obligation to send her more money for shipping. It was her reponsibility to weigh the items and make sure that she was charging you correctly to begin with.