eaglesfan73 issue: Slanderous Seller

[buddyboymama]

Well, she is not here to defend herself. I would not contact the seller again if I were you. Can you file a claim? Your item is not as described. I assume eBay would force her to accept a return. Then you would both be done with it, and maybe you could find your items elsewhere.

[cirrusrose]

sweetbubbles, wow thank you so much for that generous offer. I'm so humbled at your kindness. I'm really just down to one pick now after buying the missing damsel hat yesterday from a different seller. If it all falls through, I will pm you and maybe we can work something out? I'll have a look through my extras for stuff on your wantlist. Thank you again, that means the world to me. 

[lovesbabysquirmy]

I think both parties just had a really bad Ebay experience and sometimes these things just happen.  But remaining calm is always the best approach! 

Return and refund I think would be the only fair way to deal with this.  The Australian dollar is nearly at American USD parity - when has that happened last hey? 

[cirrusrose]

buddyboymama, thank you so much for your advice. You rock! Yeah, I was actually 100% ready to return it... but then I realized that she's convinced herself that I've switched the items out and will be expecting what's in the photo. Unfortunately, I don't have what's in the photo to begin with, so she'll never accept the return.

Sadly she refuses to believe me or correct the situation... so it's lose/lose. Such a shame.

I just thought that if the seller really wanted to comment they could just open a second account with a different email address, it would only take a few minutes. Hmmmm.



Post Merge: January 19, 2016, 07:08:59 PM

lovesbabysquirmy, thank you. I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, unless the Princess Sparkle buyer comes forward (who has my hat and comb, while I have theirs) the seller will be expecting what's in the photograph. The only hitch is, I never received all the items from the photograph in the first place. She'll never accept the return.

I don't know why she's immediately jumped to the conclusion that I'm a scammer. I have a clean slate and drama free reputation in the MLP community. I have 100% positive feedback both on eBay and on the Arena, and have completed thousands more positive transactions than her. The slanderous allegations are just so upsetting and completely unsubstantiated.

[Snapdragon]

I just thought that if the seller really wanted to comment they could just open a second account with a different email address, it would only take a few minutes. Hmmmm.

Just a quick note, but the mods actually discourage making second accounts, and suggest contacting the admin to help reset the password for your old one. I think it was a sticked rule for awhile, which is why I remember! So it may not be that she chooses not to reply here, but that she's in the process of reclaiming her old account.

I just read through all of this, and I'm really sorry that you are dealing with this situation! It sounds like things got off to a rough start, and messages just escalated until it reached a level where eBay will need to mediate. It sounds to me like some negative assumptions about both parties were being made, and in the future, it may be easier on all parties if you try to correct any mistakes with gentleness before you bring down the "long arm of the law"! Most eBay sellers are hobbyists, and as such, mistakes are made that you wouldn't get with Amazon or another big company! (If ONLY Amazon sold G1 stuff, right?!) So it pays to be gentle, at least at first, while still protecting yourself. Sometimes stuff goes to the wrong address, or accessories get switched around; unfortunately, it's a part of the hobby, unless you only buy in person.

The way I try to think of it is; have I ever made a mistake in my life, or while selling? Heck yes! So I try to give other people the benefit of the doubt, like I would hope that they would give me. It costs nothing to be patient, and sometimes it makes someone's day a little easier.

For your own personal health, you may want to consider taking a break from eBay for awhile! Nothing is more important than your well-being!

PS, sorry if this sounds too blame-y; I'm not trying to blame this on you! Although I think you came off pretty aggressive in your first message to the seller, the way they responded was also very inappropriate, and only helped to escalate things. So, ultimately, both sides could have avoided this with a little patience, but that's not how things worked out. But hopefully both sides will learn from this, and have better experiences buying and selling in the future.

[cirrusrose]

Snapdragon, thank you so much for your message. Nooo, I didn't think it was blame-y at all hahaha. It was really lovely and I agree with EVERYTHING you said. You shared a lot of wisdom, compassion and life experience, and I thank you for that.

I also appreciate that you mentioned that the seller responded inappropriately too. I feel like a few people here have missed that fact. I feel it's important acknowledge that it takes two to tango since not all problems are simply black and white. Personally, I absolutely should have given the benefit of the doubt to the seller, I responded far too soon and in a non-calm environment (doctors surgery). Definitely will wait until I get home and have a cup of tea before sitting down to type a response again. Lesson learned the hard way.

Oooh I didn't know about the second Arena account thing, thank you for letting me know about that.

Also thank you for your advice re: taking time out from eBay. I'm definitely going to follow it since this situation has sorta tainted eBay for me. Besides, I would rather let the lovely folk at the Arena have first dibs on all my gorgeous pony stuff.

And thank you for hugs, I really needed that. Such a cute emoji.



Post Merge: January 20, 2016, 03:33:47 AM

Everyone,

I'm taking a little time out from the Arena for my own mental, emotional and physical health. I'm still recovering from a nervous breakdown and this transaction made my health worse.

You are all my peers, my community, like an online family and I thank you all for your wonderful kind messages. You gave me hope in people again. I showed you - warts and all - everything that transpired in the transaction because I respect you. I felt that 100% transparency was the way to go. Even showing you messages where I'm not proud of how I acted. I don't care how bad I looked, I just wanted you to have all the evidence available and then be free to decide for yourselves.

The seller asked me not to contact them again (see the last email screenshot), so I'm respecting her wishes and the situation will have to remain un-resolvable. I heard she is talking about me in a private Facebook group so I'm happy I was able to share my side publicly for all the world to see, no secrets. I hoped you would not just take someone's baseless slander as gospel, because allegations without proof are just that, allegations. I think it's sad that a seller can be so skeptical that when a legitimate honest mix-up happens, they can't accept it.

I've been collecting MLP since I was a kid in the 80s, this isn't like a G4 "Brony Thing". I completely wore out my VHS copy of the My Little Pony movie as a child. I would sing-a-long to the songs and pretend my She- Ra castle was Dream Castle and cover it with a purple sweater which was imaginary "smooze". And that G1 smell - you know what I'm talkin' about - takes me right back to happier times in my childhood.

MLP means such a lot to me, so being labelled a scammer and an abuser to my community is just not cool, and no matter how you look at it, I am entitled to what I bought on eBay regardless of whether I wrote an upset message that may have had some 'tude in it. I just wanted what I paid for, apparently it was too much to ask.

So thanks again everyone. I seriously think we have the best community online here at the Arena.

- Mark x

[kezrob23]

i'm a little confused...

The date stamp on your first ebay message to the seller is Jan-18-16 15:21:26 PST and the date on your final message to the seller
is Jan 18-16 17:43:32 PST. Just 2 hours and 20 odd minutes apart? You made it seem like this was going on over a day or so, not a couple hours...

[kitkatvintage]

Even if the communication got off on the wrong foot, the seller did in fact make a mistake and send you the wrong accessories. As a seller, they are obligated to correct this mistake by either sending you the correct items you purchased or giving a refund. Telling you not to contact them again is not an acceptable resolution for a seller's mistake. As a pony collector, the seller should be aware that accessories are often more valuable than the actual pony, and strive to resolve this mistake.

I'm glad that the screen shots of the conversation where included because it clearly shows both sides of the story. I'm glad this was brought up on Trader Support, as the seller's version is rather different on the Facebook group. How someone resolves a mistake speaks volumes about them as a seller, and I would certainly proceed with caution if I decided to buy something with valuable accessories from this seller again.

Edit to add:
I wanted to add some more info about the accessories because I think this is being over looked here. The accessories pictures in the auction (pink comb & hat with different symbols on it) are UK variant pieces that are harder to find and more valuable than the accessories that came with the same pony in the US. The buyer actually received the more common, less valuable US comb & hat.

THAT is what doesn't sit well with me... It's not just a case of wrong pieces of equal value being sent, it's a case of rarer items being swapped out for more common ones. If the buyer bought the auction for those specific pieces, he should have received the pieces pictured. The communication issues are shadowing the fact that more valuable accessories were sold for cheap, then did not reach the buyer.

[buddyboymama]

If you file a case, though, it won't matter what the seller thinks, as ebay will review the case and make the ultimate decision. Ebay may even refund you out of their own pockets and let you keep the incorrect item. That would hopefully make up for the cost of buying the correct accessories elsewhere. I wouldn't want to see you lose out on the value of those accessories.

That being said, I understand if you just want to be done with it and move on. Take care of yourself.

[dragonfly]

The seller's first response to you was very rude and an over-reaction IMO. However, in the future, don't throw the word scammer around without cause. There was no reason to make that accusation so early on. It appears to be a simple mistake but your angry messages escalated far more quickly than necessary.

What should have happened at that point, is you should have approached this as an honest mix up. Since you didn't receive the same hat and brush pictured,  send a request to return  those items so the seller can send you the right comb and hat and correct her error.

This was the seller's mistake, yes, but your attitude fanned the flames. Next time, approach calmly.

For now, open an item not as described case with eBay. eBay is on your side in this and since it doesn't match with the listing photos, you should have no problem returning the item and getting your money back. You can upload photos to your item not as described case. You should be covered by eBay buyer protection even if the listing says all sales final.

After this is resolved and you have your refund, block the seller if you can. Yuck.

[cirrusrose]

 

The communication issues are shadowing the fact that more valuable accessories were sold for cheap, then did not reach the buyer.

kitkatvintage, thank you, thank you, thank you. I completely agree with absolutely everything in your message. Gosh you're wonderful with words, I wish I could communicate as clearly as you. Just wanted to quote your bolded part because it hit the nail on the head perfectly. Thank you so much for your great unbiased and level-headed response. 

However, in the future, don't throw the word scammer around without cause.

dragonfly, thank you for your kind message. If you re-read the messages I think you'll find I never mentioned the word "scammer" once though, the seller mentioned scamming in relation to me four times. Apart from that tiny detail, I'm with you 100%. I'm so scared of doing the item return thing because she thinks I got what's in the picture (I wish lol, otherwise I wouldn't be here in the first place), so I can't return stuff I don't even have myself... "yuck" sums this all up perfectly hahaha. Thank you again, dragonfly! You're the best!

buddyboymama, ooh that's a great point. If I open a case, it would be in the hands of Paypal. Nice outside the box thinking there, that felt really empowering when I was feeling rather hopeless. Cue "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. Paypal have extended their claim lodgement times, so I have a few months, which would drag things out but.... hmmmm. Gonna think on that. Wow, you're brilliant!

kezrob23, thanks for your reply. Sorry my thread feels like it's dragged on forever for you hahaha, it feels that way for me too! Kudos for having an inquisitive mind and suspicious approach to disputes (sounds like you'd make a good detective!). All up it's been two days in Australian time, Tuesday was sharing the emails and responding to people, Wednesday (yesterday) was just responding to people.

I think maybe you momentarily had both time zones existing in the same location (me AEST +10 and eBay HQ in San Jose, CA @ US PST -18) or don't realize I'm located in Australia. If you separate the time zones, what happens over one day in Australia, can happen over two days in the USA (like one afternoon/evening, and one morning). Also people experience time differently, like the trailers for the new Star Wars movie that made it seem like it went on for days to me. I know being on the internet sometimes feels like it's all happening at the same time as you... throw in time zones and real life stuff that delays us from updating things in real time, and the whole thing gets messy, so I totally understand your confusion. I assure you I have been completely honest about everything, otherwise I would have removed all time stamps and not shown emails where I acted like a brat. Sorry if I rambled, I'm not very good at explaining myself sometimes.

[h1m3.]

Hello there I rarely visit to arena but luckily noticed this thread. I purchased lot of ponies from this eaglesfan73 (first one was purchased at 26 Dec and last 4 Jan and I got combined shipping with no problem. I didn't ask any time limits she didn't give one either.) Anyway. I got the ponies while ago and didn't think more about they all looked fine.

After reading this I GOT YOUR PRINCESS HAT (I think, I purchased the Princess Sparkle). Since the teardop one wasn't Sparkles original hat anyway I didn't check what hat I got when the ponies arrived. And I think I have the comb too..? It isn't as pink as it is in your pic so I'm not sure if it is the right one.. I will try to take pics today/tomorrow when I'm home and PM them to you so you can see if they are the correct ones Maybe we can do a swap ?

[cirrusrose]

h1m3., thank you - thank you - thank you for your message! You have absolutely made my day!! I'm so happy that you found this thread. 

I've actually just bought a replacement princess hat the other day hahaha, so I can send your hat and comb to you and you can keep my hat as an extra. All I need now is the pink comb and my Year One collection is finally complete yay!

I will pay for all of the postage for our trade, whatever it costs to send to me I will reimburse you in full. And please make sure your watch list is up-to-date because I'll look through my extras and throw in whatever I can for absolutely free. I'm just so happy you found this thread.

I'm looking forward to your photos (and hoping there's not a third buyer caught up in this mess somewhere out there).

Thank you again, h1m3.

 

[Ringlets]

I completely agree with you Kitkatvintage and also dragonfly    

I also understand why you initially overreacted too cirrusrose - not just because of the disappointment of getting the wrong accessories , but when you are also dealing with difficult personal situations and health issues  (as are others here too, including myself, so we do understand )  it makes us more sensitive and hits us harder when things go wrong. Especially seeing how the seller responded as well.    I'm hoping that this story will finally have a good ending though now
h1m3. - thank you so much for posting here! I'm really hoping that you and Cirrusrose really do have each others accessories and can do the swap - that would be awesome

[lovesbabysquirmy]

I'm so glad the missing accessories turned up with another Arena member.