I’m warning everyone this will be a long post, so if you don’t want to deal with the reading just skip ahead!
I had a long weekend, but I think it was more than that looking at it in other terms. It’s a big long everything, and I think I have to start at the beginning to fully explain the point I’m at now. I was born in Louisiana because my mother had a good job in that area and my dad was in college near there. When I was about five my family moved back to the area my dad grew up on, to the family farm and had a home next to my grandparents. My dad’s family has a huge family farm that’s been in my family a long time, and the farm itself is over a bit of 400 acres. I know it was more at one point but some has gone here or there so anyway one of the first things I wanted as a kid when we moved here was a horse. I started riding a huge black Tennessee Walker that was an ex police horse, going in parades and doing all kinds of things. I graduated from that and started riding a quarter horse mare, my family bred horses for a while mostly paints and quarter horses that I helped work with and train. I loved to barrel race and pole bend and not only did I compete I traveled to barrel clinics, to improve and get better. I think towards the end of my barrel racing I was riding three to four different horses almost every day and I had also started trying out Cowboy mounted shooting on a big draftxpaint cross because my barrel horse and pole bending horse didn’t like the gunfire.
I lived and breathed horses, everything was all about horses for me and if I wasn’t at school I was at home in the saddle. When I competed I didn’t even hang out with a lot of the other girls or run around at the rodeo flirting like many did, instead I sat out and worked my horse and checked my horse and generally I was all about horses. My dad’s family though has always been a big aggressive and not nice people. My dad has some of that meanness in him and over time my father and I just couldn’t be around each other constantly without fighting. It got old that spending time with my horses meant fighting, so at one point my senior year or high school I put away my love for horses and just left them behind. It hurt so badly, but I was tired of the fights and the pain that came with wanting them in my life. I went to college, partied a lot and of course realizing I was a lesbian and trying to come out and date and be comfortable with myself in a small southern town was a big ordeal. I just didn’t have time for horses.
Time passed and eventually once I started teaching I found myself constantly looking at pictures of horses online and reading about different breeds. I was frustrated with like at that point because yes I was married and in a relationship with a job that had a good income, but I worked at a bad school. I was paid more than double than most teachers in my area because of the issues there. My wife at the time was going to school and not working/wouldn’t work so I had to support her as well. I didn’t live in an area where I could have a horse, but it didn’t stop me from looking. The first thing that caught my eye were Gypsy Vanners, the loud pinto markings like I was used to with the paints but the beautiful amounts of hair and the large graceful muscular horse…I was in love! I realized though that was just a dream and wouldn’t happen. Around that time I started collecting My Little Ponies and model horses again, even mostly buying model horses that were Vanners or drafts and buying resins so they could be painted to look like my dream horse. My dream horse that I could never afford or have, and it gave me a hobby because my ex hated going outdoors or doing much of anything. I could do these hobbies inside and be with her.
Eventually our relationship and the job I had began to wear on me, and about two years ago I moved back home near my family. I bought a mobile home and had it put out on the edge of the family farm in a hay field and again now that I was home the urge to have a horse was strong once again. I found though that Vanners no longer were pulling my attention. They are beautiful animals, but after looking at prices I couldn’t make myself justify the amount it would cost to buy one. I started looking at other drafts and other beautiful big feathery horses and while watching t.v. one day I saw one of the Budweiser commercials and it hit me like a ton of bricks. “What about a Clydesdale?” My search began about a year and a half to two years ago to learn more about them and how common they were and what price ranges they were in. About a year ago I started contact breeders to ask about prices and get information and see what my options where. I realized that yes I could save and get one of these horses. I wanted more than one to have a team, but I needed to start with one to see how I could manage the feed bills. The farm was big enough though I could have a place for the horse to graze and eventually if dad let me grow some hay of my own for my horses. I could do this!
The more I looked the more I learned and suddenly I stumbled on the fact that Clydesdales came in more colors than just bay, and when I saw a black Clydesdale I think my heart stopped. I wanted one so badly and there was nothing that could stop me. Finding a Clyde near me was a big undertaking to start with as I live far down South and down here people have stock horses mostly along with mules. Typically we have mules and maybe some Belgians or Percherons but other breds? Nah…this made me do the research to see what all I would need to do to make a Clyde comfy here since the climate is different than their normal. I had a moment where I wavered, scared if it would work or not but in the end a Clyde was what I wanted and I started reaching out to people again. I was disappointed to learn that one of the bigger black Clydesdale breeders was in Canada…there was just no way I could at the time get everything I needed and get to Canada, but again I was steered towards other people and found a breeder in the U.S. in Wisconsin that had black Clydes and had a good reputation with her bloodlines and showing her hitches.
I didn’t start contacting breeders till around February this year, because I was used to foals being born in the spring. Apparently with clydes most people breed to foal in the winter so the mares have an easier time with the big babies. When I started contacting people lots of them already had foals claimed, and I was heartbroken. This breeder though had a few more foals left to go and said I would be kept informed. I wanted a filly (to breed someday) and I wanted her to have about as nice white socks and a blaze as I could find. I also wanted one with an easy going disposition but knew getting a weanling that would be hard to gauge yet. I did want a mare that was already bred and could ride and drive (since I want to do everything), but the prices for registered trained and bred mares were too high for me. Getting a foal though was cheaper of course and while I would have to raise and train her in the end I would have what I wanted. The breeder showed me a few horses but nothing really popped as what I wanted till she had a filly born in June that was what she wanted. She then offered to me a filly she had intended to keep to train for her hitch for herself, but instead she would sell this girl and keep the new filly from June.
I know breeders always keep the best for themselves, and I was pretty pleased with the idea of getting one that was thought that well of and she looked beautiful even as a small little month old filly. I put down a deposit and started planning this trip and how I would get her being as she was about 868 miles away from me one way!
I was going to hire a horse transport service but they gave me one quote and ended up quoting double later on. Anyway I’m getting ahead of myself, I had till Nevada was weaned to pay for her and slowly I paid off her cost in chunks while buying things for her. It angered my ex to no end about my buying a horse, but I ended up telling her this was something for me that I wanted and needed. That I couldn’t stay inside all the time and be ignored, but that I wanted this horse and that would help me feel “whole” again. When we broke up over the summer there was a time I thought I would have to void my agreement to getting Nevada since money was tight trying to take care of stuff ect. I pulled through though and soon she was paid off and just getting the trip arranged was the hard part.
I hadn’t told my family much at this point because I was afraid of how they would react. Surprisingly though my dad stared at me a bit then outright told me he would take me to get her and even pay for the gas on this trip. My mother was supportive as well and they both just said I would get my horse. Then I had some issues with the breeder because the coggins and vet sheets weren’t done, and I was not going to travel across the state and have my horse taken away from me and put in quarantine just because I didn’t have the right paperwork. We were supposed to leave Friday morning early because I was off work and we still hadn’t gotten faxed copies of the papers. I felt crushed, everything I wanted was falling apart. Then I heard from the breeder and the papers came through and my dad and I were off to get my girl.
We drove all day Friday and stayed in a hotel that night. We got up early on Saturday and drove and arrived at their farm probably around four in the afternoon. The woman’s son (who is about my age) showed me around and let me meet their hitch horses and some of their other horses, even a giant almost three year old black stallion they had brought in from Scotland. That horse was so impressive, I wish I had a picture. Then we went to where they had their weanling foals and grazing, wedged in with the others was my baby. While they got a halter on her and brought her over my dad mouthed if she was what I expected, and I know I just nodded and told him “that’s my horse”. We talked a while with them, loaded her up and made her way back towards Arkansas. We drove about another 300 miles that afternoon and stopped around two in the morning. I didn’t want to get a hotel room and leave Nevada outside, so we locke dup the trailer and slept in the dressing room up in the trailer’s nose on a blow up mattress. Then we were off again on Sunday and managed to get home late.
I can say in the short time I’ve had her I’m already just in love with her. They only weaned her a few weeks ago and have only been handling her for maybe a week, but she has such a good head on her. She was calm on the trailer and barely showed she was stressed. She didn’t want me to put her right away (which is understandable) but made me al ittle sad. Then Sunday afternoon I took her water bucket into the stall to give her water. She ignored me and ate but when I started to leave she turned around and nudged me with her nose as if to say “hey, don’t go I’ll let you pet me if you stay”. I rubbed her head a bit then she went back to eating and there it was again. That deep love for horses coming back to me like I was a little kid.
When we got home I played with her in the trailer a while then I gently coaxed her out with me and we went to her little make shift stall she is staying in for a week or two. She behaved so well and listened to me and hardly spoked at anything. Last night I stayed with her for hours just petting and talking to her and this morning I went and brushed her, getting rid of some of her loose baby coat, and she is doing so well.
I don’t know if words can describe what I feel right now. It’s been a long time since I’ve spent a lot of time with horses, and this is my first one to ever buy myself. I gained weight while I was in my bad relationship and depressed, so I feel like I need to lose a lot more before I start riding again…but with Nevada I have that time. I know we will spend a lot of days just walking together and practicing leading and hopefully as she grows older and is ready to start things like riding and driving and eventually having a foal of her own I’ll be in better shape like I’ve been working on and will be ready at each stage to help her and work with her. Drafts are something new, at least at this rate as they aren’t common here and a black Clyde? Well I don’t know if most of my horse friends even knew they existed. I know I have a lot of stuff to learn and she will eat a ton of food and require so much training, but I’m ready for that. It’s safe to say I adore her already and hope that she makes it well and grows into an amazing mare. I know right now she’s long legged and her hooves remind me of a little puppy with feet that are too big. She’s a little thin from being weaned and switching to hay and feed, but I see the potential and what she and I could be together.
This is a lot more to me than having a horse, it’s fulfilling a need that’s been missing for a long time. I’ve been keeping an eye on her since I want to make sure she doesn’t colic or anything else come up. I know I’ll be a very protective horse parent, and I’ve always had horses growing up but this is different buying one for myself. When I started this venture to get Nevada I started selling off my model horses and MLP Nirvanas to help raise the money and pay off credit cards so I could use them to buy stuff for her. I had a lot of people express their concern or sadness in the loss of my collections, but I felt like this was for something more and to me it wasn’t a sad thing. It was a new and better thing. I’m happy to say that the sales of my models and ponies more than covered the cost of buying Nevada and the sales I still have, are slowly chipping away at my credit cards where they are almost all paid off as well (in case of an emergency to have funds for her). I’m not saying I’m leaving the model horse hobby or the pony one. I still have some models and ponies, and I can even see getting customs of either one of Nevada or future clydes I buy (yes I know just got one and already planning more within the next year or two). It doesn’t make me any less happy with my choice.
I also don’t want it to sound like I had to give up my hobbies to have her. I could have easily not done that and tried to juggle both, but I also figured it would be better this way to cut down on hobby stuff and focus on her and I have no regrets. She’s been what I’ve needed, while I love my models and ponies it’s not the same for me (everyone is different and in no way trying to shame or sway people one way or the other just talking about myself). I collected because they were horses or fantasy animals I could never have, but I have that horse now and want more like her. It’s possible to obtain the “dream” horses I couldn’t have before. Also on a side note I started dating a woman that is more than happy to be around animals and simply adores Nevada. Will things be perfect? No. Can something go wrong? Absolutely…but all I know is I feel more like the person I used to be. I feel more like me, and this where I’m at right now is where I want to be on my journey to a new hobby (because I have never really used drafts before so it is new to me), a new relationship and a different life than I’ve known since being an adult.
I’ve got a few pics of Nevada and of course I keep putting more on my Facebook. Lmao
The rest of her baby coat is still coming out and her hair is sunbleached from being in the field, also she has to fill out more but I think she is amazing. When I call her little lol do try to realize she is like 14 hands tall and 400 pounds at four months old. She is huge! Her hooves are bigger than my 15 year old paint mare's hooves and the appedix QH she is near.
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