I'm going to be nosey! Gender identity...?

[Strawberry Swirl]

I don't get the new prevalent interest in identifying as nonbinary. Haven't really read into it, I don't follow anyone on Tumblr like that so haven't been exposed to it directly.

Female here.

Well nobody taught anybody that other genders exist for a very long time. Generally this still continues, but Tumblr made it possible for people who don't know you don't have to be male or female to figure themselves out.

[Harmonie]

Very much identify as female. Am curious about these other gender identities, though... To be honest, the very concept of them doesn't make any sense to me. I'm not meaning to talk down on them in any way, I'm asking because I want them to make sense for me.

Don't worry, we can tell!
Basically imagine that you were assigned a certain something at birth that you're expected to identify as from then on, even if you don't completely understand it.
Like, for instance you're probably a person but at birth you were given a species to be. Also imagine that there's only two that 99% of people acknowlege: cat and dog.
You're assigned to be a cat.

But as you grow up, you don't agree that you're a cat? Maybe you find that you're actually a dog, or another species entirely (like say a fox). That's what basically being trans is. You're assigned a gender out of only 2 of the millions that people discover, but it doesn't apply to you at all. Another gender does.

Oh, I think I have a pretty good understanding of gender identity when it comes to identifying as the opposite gender than the one you were assigned at birth. It's the 'others' (nonbinary, bigender, etc.) that are a bit hard for me to understand.

[NovelNerd]

Not to offend anyone. But for the girls saying they're tomboys but still feminine,  you do get that you can be a tomboy and like boy things and not be gender confused right? Like as a child I wore dresses but climbed trees and played baseball. I'm in the military in a male dominant field. I identify as female. I don't apologize for how I am or feel I need to justify myself. Sometimes it seems like if we're tomboys we almost apologize for not saying we identify male. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like the more accepted Trans, gender fluid etc becomes the more we try to push someone into a label.

I'm not a huge fan of labels myself. I'm female and have always felt that way, but I grew up in a farm and my father didn't have any boys. I was the one that helped build fences and barns, I bottle raised calves that lost their mothers and did the rodeo stuff and helped train our horses. When I went to school when I was younger though I quickly realized that there was more to it than me just being a "tomboy". I liked to dress nice and have make up and do all the things the other girls liked to do.

I get mistaken for a guy a lot when I wear my casual clothes and have had women try to run me out of female restrooms till I tell them I do indeed have a vagina (not that I should have to defend myself anyway!). When I wear my dress clothes and do my make-up there is never a question about it. Matter of fact I met my friend for Zumba today at the gym after I get off work, and I don't think se has seen me in dress clothes since prom! She was stunned and made the comment "oh you can look like a girl!"

Ugh, it gets old sometimes these stereotypes we have for people and especially genders. I can like all these things and be a tomboy and still be a woman. The push for having s label but also having this ability to fall into so many "categories" can be confusing. Yes if people ask I identify as female and I'm a lesbian. Do I particularly care about labels? No,  I'm just me and I like to think I'm the only one like myself so that definition is enough.

[BlackCurtains]

To someone struggling to find themselves, labels can be freeing, not confining. Finding you're not alone can be what keeps you alive. So yes, labels are very important for some people.

Me, I'm male, AFAB.

Also, just want to mention that genitals ≠ gender.

[Wardah]

To someone struggling to find themselves, labels can be freeing, not confining. Finding you're not alone can be what keeps you alive. So yes, labels are very important for some people.

Me, I'm male, AFAB.

Also, just want to mention that genitals ≠ gender.

In a perfect world we would not need gender identities but since it isn't a perfect world people need a way to identify when we don't fit into societies limiting boxes.

[divalei]

I'd say I'm neither. I have female body which is causing me discomfort and I'm waiting to get it fixed. Explaining all this to doctors was quite of a pain. All that "are you sure? It's the depression talk" and my favourites "you are too young" and "of course you want children". Try to explain to someone who isn't willing to listen... I usually say that I'm more male than female to avoid questions.

I wear dresses and skirts and "girly stuff" but "male clothes" as well. My clothes.

[melodys_angel]

Female for sure, though I had periods of complete tomboy growing up, and I also had periods of just female or just male OCs pop in during certain periods.  To me that's normal.

I don't feel I need to apologize for my gender though.  You are who you are.  I get more upset when someone assumes you should be a boy or have to be a boy if you do x, y and z. (And im sure the same holds true for those that don't fall into 'girl' as gender ^^)

[DemonicSymphony]

To someone struggling to find themselves, labels can be freeing, not confining. Finding you're not alone can be what keeps you alive. So yes, labels are very important for some people.

Me, I'm male, AFAB.

Also, just want to mention that genitals ≠ gender.

Thank you for saying this. I'd been struggling with the thread since originally posting in it and seeing some of the responses.

*high fives*

[RainbowRay]

I don't know! I kind of avoid thinking too hard about my gender. Neither/other for now, I guess.

I know that I'm not okay about being female physically, though.

[gold.standard]

I identify as nb.

For me, finding that label finally freed me. I finally had a word for what I felt and what I am and I've been so much happier.
 I feel it is really easy for people to be like "we don't need labels" because they've never felt like they weren't in one of the two available choices. Its really easy to dismiss labels when you've never felt that you didn't belong with what you've been labeled as.
 Labels are so so important to have. For so many people having a label means no longer feeling broken and lost. Please don't dismiss that.
And yes, to echo previous comments, gender doesn't equal genitals. Your genitals have no bearing on your gender. 

[BethyVic]

I'm female.  My gender identity is pretty simple, I am happy being a female.  I like being feminine and I look quite feminine.  I can't imagine how hard it must be to feel that your gender assignment is not the same as how you feel inside. 

[Lady_Manson]

I am a female
  My Real Name is Melissa

[Miniature Sheep]

I identify as male but can't really bring myself to be open about it irl, the main reasons being that I don't want to be defined solely by my gender identity and also my current environment isn't particularly supportive or understanding. :/

[Princess Lala]

Definetly born and ID myself as a female!!! xD There's no way I could ever be a boy! My walk is SO dainty and my voice is high pitched! I look very much like a teenage girl still, I am often confused at bars as still being in high school. It is hilarious and never gets old so I am comfortable identifying myself as a teenage girl!

I think it's cool we have so many transgenders here!! They really need more love in the real world   I recently found out my childhood friend, Ava, grew up to be transgender. She now goes by Avery and I do say he makes such a cute boy! ^w^ it would be cool to be a guy with like no hair! Ha-ha! I also have a friend who is 'trans-species' as in she identifies herself as a cat! xD

[Strawberry Swirl]

I think it's cool we have so many transgenders here!! They really need more love in the real world :heart:  I recently found out my childhood friend, Ava, grew up to be transgender. She now goes by Avery and I do say he makes such a cute boy! ^w^ it would be cool to be a guy with like no hair! Ha-ha! I also have a friend who is 'trans-species' as in she identifies herself as a cat! xD

I'm so happy for your friend!! I love hearing about trans people that can exist without danger following us everywhere.
+ Bonus helpful things for future reference-

It's more polite to say "transgender people" or "trans people" rather than transgenders/transgendered.

"Trans-species" doesn't exist, that's called otherkin (or therian if you're an animal + prefer it!) :good:


Post Merge: August 27, 2015, 06:12:36 AM

Oh, I think I have a pretty good understanding of gender identity when it comes to identifying as the opposite gender than the one you were assigned at birth. It's the 'others' (nonbinary, bigender, etc.) that are a bit hard for me to understand.

Oh...in that case, how can I help? :0