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First of all, relax. I don't think you did anything wrong, and I'm sure your friend will not be upset with you It sounds to me like this was just a matter of not having clear guidelines for this "swap." In a group swap on the arena there are very clear guidelines on what sort of things are expected to be sent, including how much money should be spent on ponies, how much on extras, if everything should be from a wishlist, etc. It sounds like you guys didn't discuss that sort of thing in detail in advance, so you went into it with different ideas of what you were doing.
It has been my experience that a lot of people in the pony community do random acts of kindness, and they don't expect anything back. For example, in organized swaps...there are plenty of people who go over budget just because they want to make something special for their partner, but only expect the partner buying for them to spend the given minimum.