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Bummer! That is a difficult situation, but once this gets moved to Trader Support I'm sure you will get plenty of good advice. Sounds to me like the seller was having a seriously bad day, especially if you have dealt with her before with good results. But not receiving an accurate tracking number is strange to me especially if you paid for it. I hope you get everything worked out for the best!
I am sorry to hear of your troubles.It's a rather unfortunate situation since you have bought ponies previous from them. But before I answer your question can I ask where the pony was coming from...overseas, US? And also when was the pony shipped? I ask that because you say November and depending on when in November, you maybe over your 45 days to open a case.
I understand the situation from both point of views but sadly the seller is responsible. If it's a rare pony this shipping should have been with insurance so they were protected against this type of situation. Open a case through ebay and let them handle it. They will view the tracking number and see it wasn't ever delivered and side with the buyer and you will be refunded 100%. Once your money is returned then you can leave them a positive as they are trying to work with you.