The Good Old-Fashioned "Corrupt a Wish" Game

[Eviecorn]

Granted ... now they're bothering your tongue.  Forever.

I wish my dog's breath wasn't rank.

[NinaMarie]

Granted! Your dog has nice minty fresh breath! Too bad the same can't be said for their now chronic gas. 

I wish I could find the color pencils I needed without having to visit multiple stores

[Hunter-Rose]

Granted, now those are the only pencils you can find in a 60 mile radius.

I wish my laptop was fast enough to play Saints Row the Third (I also wish everything was purple in real life :3)

[CottonTALE]

Granted, your computer now is fast enough to play Saints Row 3, so fast that it evolved legs and ran off to go frolic in the purple grass.

I wish people would start to show up for my fursuit meet!

[NinaMarie]

Granted! Everyone is starting to show up but it seems they all forgot their fursuits! That sure defeats the purpose...

I wish my fingers would stop hurting after all the crocheting i've been doing. 

[Domingo]

Granted, your fingers no longer hurt! Now it's your stomach that hurts. Looks like you have the trots!

I wish I had a teleporter.

[Hunter-Rose]

Granted, you can only teleport to public loos and baby changing rooms.

I wish I would stop getting sick all the time.

[Eviecorn]

Granted ... but now you're the only well person in a post-apocalyptic world filled with infected zombie folks.  I know ... it's cliche, but that's what happens.

I wish I could make decisions better.

[MidnightFireflies]

Granted! But now you make decisions SO well now that you make them for other people and everyone thinks you're a little nosy know-it-all! 

I wish I didn't have to pay on my taxes this year... 

[Sqoozh]

Granted, but the government only waived them because you agreed to spend the rest of your days on the moon. How's that lack of air working for you?

I wish I could finish all of my Color Theory homework in time.

[Vampasaurus]

granted, but that's the only subject you'll turn in on time ever again.

I wish that my car always had a full tank of gas

[Sukeile]

Granted, the tank is full of gas...and so is the rest of your car!
It smells awful and you can't very well drive a car smeared in gasoline all over the place.
You try selling it but no one is interested due to the high fire risk.

I wish I could pause and restart time whenever I wished it!

[Eviecorn]

Granted ... but every time you pause, a kitten dies.  DIES.

I wish I had pizza ...

[Charmer]

Granted, you now have the most delicious pizza you could possiably imagine, your mouth is watering at the thought of eatining it...but wait, your friends have heard and they come round and eat it all before you get the chance...what a shame!

I wish my football (soccer) team would start winning premier league titles again!

[NinaMarie]

Granted your team is on a hot streak! Too bad you've gone blind and deaf and can't enjoy it..

I wish my valentine's dessert does not end up a disaster!