Living with your parents vs. moving out :(

[InkyMilk]

Okay, I feel really terrible the more and more I think about this and I would really like some opinions and advice. I just turned 23 at the beginning of the month, and I just moved back in with my parents. I'll be living with them for at least another year as I finish school (I thought I would graduate in a semester but it's more likely it'll be 2 semesters). After that, I'll likely live with them a little bit longer as I seek out a steady career I can actually support myself with. This means I probably won't move out to my own, real home until I'm 26-27 years old. Is that too old? Should I move out as soon as I get my BA when I'm 24? I'm really conflicted.

My practical side says there's no problem living at home. I have a good relationship with my parents, I don't pay rent which enables me to save what I make from my part time job for my future down-payment on an actual house, I'm within close distance of the rest of my family, it gives me a stable place to live while I seek out future careers, etc. However, the other side of my brain feels as though I'm being a lazy loser by staying here. From what I read, everyone thinks you should
move out at 18, which I did, I just...moved back in again. I DO work and I have full intentions to find a more stable job once I graduate, but I'm afraid that that simply doesn't matter since I'm still living here.

Advise?

[kaoskat]

I think you should not worry how others see you. Staying with your parents sounds like it's best for you. It is better to stay with them until you can successfully get out on your own without getting yourself so far into debt that you'll never get out. Maybe talk to your parents and get their thoughts. I'm sure they'll have your best interest at heart and will have insight into your needs that we don't have. From what you have said though it seems your fear is what others may think. Well, in 20 years when they are struggling with bills and debt they incurred when they moved out before they were financially able, you will be doing well and not be worrying you are about to lose your house. I think you should wait until you are ready if you and your parents are ok with that arrangement.

[ashes]

I think you should move out whenever you feel ready.  I lived with my parents while in graduate school because it was cheaper to live with them and commute to San Francisco on the train than to pay for rent in the city.  But then I got married while in grad school, so my husband and I moved into our own apartment while we each finished our degrees.  That was 9 years ago.  It worked for us, but then again, everyone is different.

[Yurusumaji]

I have an elder sister (28) who lives with our mum. She has moved out several times, but circumstances just aren't where they need to be for her, so she stays where she can save money and get on her feet.

Don't move out until you're ready, or else you might end up going back to them later in life.

[little.fox]

Only you (and your parents) can decide when it's good time for you to move out, try not to worry about the "stigma" of still living with your parents. Nowadays it's much more common to stay at home a bit longer, as jobs and flats can be really hard to come by in some areas. Personally I started travelling abroad after college and spent an awful lot of time away and moved out "officially" a couple of years after that. When I recently returned to Sweden I went to live with my dad, until I had enough income to move into a flat with bf. At the end of the day, if you have a good relationship with your parents and everything works fine, why try and fix something that isn't broke? 

[Chrissytree]

These days it's much more difficult to live away from home.  You've nothing to worry about staying as long as you need to.  I've not moved out yet (I'm 32) and my sister moved back in about a year ago after her relationship broke down and she couldn't afford the house she was renting.  My brother has been living away for years but he's struggling so much and he lives in a cheaper part of the country. 

There's not so much of a stigma attached to staying at home these days, it's just become very hard to get a deposit on house or find somewhere cheap enough to rent.  As long as it's working for you it's a great opportunity to save up ready for the future.  The money will give an advantage to you too.

[NinaMarie]

I'm 25 and pretty much in you exact situation. I have a semester to go to finish school and until then and I find a full-time  job I can't afford to move out of my parents. I also have a good relationship with them so it's not so bad but I am really chaffing at the bit to get out of there. I feel the same about how it seems like i'm "too old" to still be at home and need to move out. But like the others have said and friends and family of mine have said in these times it's more common for "kids" to live with their parents in their 20s. It's expensive out there. And why not, not add more stress to our college lives but living in a rent-free environment and not struggling to make ends to meet.
I'm with you on the it seems awful to still be living at home but i'm trying real hard to ignore that feeling and take advantage of my parents' willingness to house and feed me longer than the supposed "normal" time. Once i get my degree it'll be easier to get that job that'll allow me to move out.

[Sonata]

That issue about "everyone should move out at 18" is bulls*** to me. You move out when you can nowadays - there's a worldwide crisis going one right now and there are no jobs, so you will move out just because people usually do it? Personally, I moved out at 21. But I moved out of the country with my boyfriend so that we could do our MAs abroad - as well as staying here and hopefully get a job. But really, you're not being lazy, it would be suicidal to move without having money for it. If you feel okay at home, why not?

[Wilford B Wolf]

ya know what....if you think about the way "other" ppl look at you..have a look at other cultures where moving out is actualy looked as turning your back on your family

in my years tho i will say tho that its VERY confusing to ppl when i say yeah i live at home with my mom..hell ill be 37 this year..but ya know what she is dissabled and ive been caring for her since i was 13..everything here is just as much mine as it is hers and at one point things kinda changed and i looked at her more as my own kid ....

yeah i know my situation is far from yours but..i understand the akwardness of it all...

so long as you and your parents have a good relationship and everythings right in the world at home i see no issue with anyone living at home on thru there parents senior years and just taking over where they left off....its a beautifful thing when a family can actualy grow and stay together

instead of what society dictates as the norm of moving out..which to me is more like running away and splitting the family up

imo if more of the worlds familys "stuck together" i think we would all be in a much better place

[NovelNerd]

Hmmm, not sure what to tell you. I suppose everyone is right and only you and your parents can make that decision. If you feel really guilty maybe you should help pay for groceries each month or some sort of rent? Do a lot more around the house to make up for the money you cost them?

I'm not the best to give advice. I felt guilty living with my parents, so I moved out before I graduated Uni. I worked 50+ and took night classes to make sure I could pay for my stuff. I just graduated in May with my B.A., and I'm working living just fine. I say do what works best for you and your family, but it's always possible to live without their help and support yourself. It just depends on how much you want it. I'm saving for my own move and a place I don't have to rent. It might take longer, but I like having the freedom and satisfaction of standing on my own.

[mlpfan]

you should wait until you have a steady income before you move out, or else you could wind up right back with them,. I am 25 and i still live with my parents, although i am hopping to change that soon. times are very hard and it is very hard to make it on your own without a job

[rainbowstars]

OH, you should take full advantage of living with your parents.  Especially if you guys get along!  Nothing to feel guilty or stressed about, you are YOUNG.  Practically a baby;).

[xeevee]

If you get along with your parents, and they are happy to have you there, I say stay as long as you can.  I moved out very young, and because of that I was always paying rent and bills, so I have never been able to save money.  For the year between finishing school and moving out that I did stay at home, I saved around $4000, and that was only with a casual job.  So now, I have never owned a house, and I still don't have any savings, and I'm 34 and have 2 kids.  Where as my brother stayed at home for years, has now upgraded houses twice thanks to having that time to save.  And its not like my brother has a better career than me, or anything.  It was simply that time he had at home to get himself together.

[Phekzhen]

If you and your parents have a good relationship, than there's no trouble with it. Just make sure to keep open the channels of communication and help around the house when you can, no one likes to feel like they're being taken advantage of.

Lots of older folk are moving back into their parents' houses since they can't afford to live on their own anymore. It's good that you're doing what you can to make sure that you're fully preparing yourself to live on your own, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[DoctorMowinckel]

I'll be turning 26 this fall, and sometime later this year, moving in with my mother.  If someone wants to go 'OMG YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS?!', rebuke it with 'OMG I HAVE AN EXTRA SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH TO SPEND'. I work full time now, and I'll be working full time when I move, but still. My rent with utilities is about $650 a month, that's a lot of money, and I gotta work on putting money into my business.

Seriously. If I could have the $650 a month I spend on rent to do with as I please, or live with a parent and save $650 a month on rent, I'd take the latter.