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Author Topic: first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)  (Read 608 times)

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shiekra

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first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)
« on: March 21, 2014, 10:45:28 AM »


NOTE: Please ignore the random <p>
 and such. I had to copy the story from tumblr because I originally posted this there. (0 notes yaaaaay) and tumblr defaultly adds all that goop.

I'm a bit lazy to edit it all out. Sincerest apologies, you guys. Wont happen again.


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<p>K SO

I made my first ever pony OC and I'm   LOOKING FOR CRITICISM     and such on her in general.</p>

7 hours of my life trying to draw with my finger on an ipad that I'm never getting back yAY

Alright. To her life

<p>Name: Shiekra

(I'm changing this in the future bc it doesnt sound canon at all. So its temporary.)</p>

<p>Talent: cloud artist

(You know how clouds sometimes look like bunnies and crap? Thank the cloud artists. Idk if someone came up with this idea for a pegasus job yet but I consider myself a genius)</p>

<p>Story:

Little shiek was born in cloudsdale around the same time period as the mane 6. (Just to give an idea of what time period shes in) Shes the youngest of 2 sisters (sister and parent names undecided well call the sis kira for now) and right from birth her grandfather gave her a little green bowtie that he wore on his wedding day. She would wear in her mane constantly as a filly.

Shiek fought with her sister constantly. The two were polar opposites. Where kira was fashion and stallion crazy, shiek was artsy and nerdy. The two rarely get along except for when they both need something from people. At which point they were masterminds and made a great team. But other than that, kira would torment her little sister and make her cry. Shiek would get revenge on her big sister by getting her in trouble. It was an endless circle.

She had a passion for animals at a young age and aspired to be a pet groomer and pet sitter. She even gave baths to the pets of her neighbors sometimes for pocket money. Sadly as she grew older her passion for this faded. It remained in the back of her mind for a long time but with age came a new skill emerged. While at school she would always carry around a small section of cloud that she kept hidden in her thick mane. Shed toy with it and shape It into different things and it gave her something to do when she felt stressed or bored. Her teachers would constantly take this cloud section from her, howeber, for it interfered with her classwork. That really never stopped her.

Unfortunately, her grades werent the greatest due to this hobby. She made it through school just barely.

Flying school, however, she excelled in. She wasnt the fastest or the most athletic, but she was certainly a quick learner. She loved doing tricks and conquering obstacles and flying around clouds to shape them into weird things like dogs or trees. At one point she even tried to get a few friends together to make a bunny shaped cloud look animated by constantly changing the shape. It didnt work too well.

Once shiekra graduated, her parents practically forced her into pet grooming. Although this was a childhood passion, it wasnt her calling. Her parents used her college funds to pay for a grooming school for her and she was shoved into the grooming profession. She wasnt a bad groomer. She was pretty good for a pegasus. But grooming with scissors and such was meant for unicorns. So she never excelled in it. When she graduated she moved on to be a groomers assistant at a shop in ponyville. She still didnt have her cutie mark. It was the strangest thing. A full grown mare with no cutie mark.

She worked for the groomer for about a year until a fire erupted in the shop from a drier malfunction and burned the place down. No pony was harmed but it was certainly a scary day in ponyville.

Now because shiek now had nothing to do and no work, she went back to playing with the clouds. Her pet, Tiki, a flying squirrel, would always accompany her on these cloud trips.

One day, while shiekra was sculpting a large cloud to look like her little flying squirrel, a strong gust of wind came through. This gust blew Tikis balance off and sent her spiraling towards the center of ponyville. Shiek chased after her pet, having trouble gaining enough speed to catch up. The little squirrel was like a bullet falling to earth. But as if by fate, tiki landed perfectly into the cloud shaped afro mane of a pegasus below.

Shiek swooped down to check on the pony and pet, apologizing for the impact and being relieved that little tiki was okay. Just a broken arm. She also thanked the pegasus for being there conveniently and offered to buy him a cider. As they sat down to drink, shiekra began to explain the situation beforehand. How she was shaping a cloud and a gust of wind distraught her poor little squirrel. She pointed out the cloud she was shaping, sighing about how unfinished it was. The afro maned pegasus gasped and immediately began to explain his reasoning of beig in ponyville.

This pegasus was a visitor to ponyville, there to pick up an order of cupcakes from sugarcube corner. His name was Cotton Cloud. Cloud for short. He worked In cloudsdale as a cloud artist. He told shiekra all about his job and how badly they needed more artists, he suggested that she go with him to his next shift to meet his boss and apply for a job in the field.

This of course, sparked inspiration in shiekra. She accepted happily, going to cloudsdale with cloud and speaking with his boss.

She was hired right away, quickly becoming one of the 10 best cloud artists in the area. It was on this day, when she was hired, that her cutiemark appeared. A paintbrush, painting a cloud infront of the sun. She knew then what her destiny was. </p>

<p>

So yeah thats the story. Im still thinking of names for her, idk. I may stick with shiekra if you people think its okay. But I dunno. I need something more canon sounding.</p>

<p>Again I'm looking for crits, this is my first pony oc and the first pony I ever drew.</p>



i just now realized how much she looks like... bubs i think her name is? Oh my godddd this irritates me. I picked the colors and such before i saw the little filly omg. But then again i guess some ponies can look similar right? Its not that bad is it @-@ *internal crying*

Post Merge: March 21, 2014, 10:47:25 AM

SIDE NOTE:
pretty sure the cutie mark would make for a bangin' ankle tattoo.

I'm debating so hard.

Post Merge: March 21, 2014, 11:07:50 AM

SIDE SIDE NOTE: omg I just realized some major spelling things I'm so sorry you guys I'm not used to typing on a tablet yet.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2014, 11:07:50 AM by shiekra »

Offline Griffin

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Re: first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2014, 12:09:38 PM »
First of all, I love the idea of cloud artist as a pegasus profession! I also admire you for coming up with a good background story like that, I rarely have the patience or imagination to think up anything more than a few basic details for my characters but an actual story will always add depth and personality to OCs. I like the visual design too - I'm partial to brown and green, and her freckles are so cute. Thanks for sharing!

Oh, and don't worry about spelling mistakes. You can use the edit button to fix spelling or update your posts whenever needed. :)
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Re: first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2014, 12:46:18 PM »
:3 cute pony! I want to draw her! (I just stalked you from the intro page to over here) Pretty sweet to have another pony artist here! I seem to have become a pony art parasite setting us home in the art section. Like no joke I am constantly pulling up the art section going oh oh something new? How about now?


shiekra

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Re: first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2014, 04:51:16 PM »
Thank you you guys! I love my cloud artist thing. Whoop.




And fanart is more than welcome!
Infact fanart would be awesome.

shiekra

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Re: first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2014, 09:16:21 AM »
Still looking for harsh critiques on everything! (Minus the anatomy of the pony. It is my first time after all.)

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Re: first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2014, 09:38:44 AM »
Maybe no-one can spot any faults? ;) Did you freehand her? I'm kind of embrassed to admit I first thought she was done with a ponymaker. Kudos to you if you did indeed draw her freehand, I think you totally nailed the G4 style! Maybe that's just me but I'd love to see some little personal touches added in, even a slight deviation from the official style often adds a lot of personality and flavour to the drawing, so to speak. Please don't take this as criticism though, the most important thing is that you enjoy what you're doing! :)   
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shiekra

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Re: first time drawing a pony (crits on story and art plz~)
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2014, 10:40:28 AM »
Maybe no-one can spot any faults? ;) Did you freehand her? I'm kind of embrassed to admit I first thought she was done with a ponymaker. Kudos to you if you did indeed draw her freehand, I think you totally nailed the G4 style! Maybe that's just me but I'd love to see some little personal touches added in, even a slight deviation from the official style often adds a lot of personality and flavour to the drawing, so to speak. Please don't take this as criticism though, the most important thing is that you enjoy what you're doing! :)   


I took some inspiration from the pony creator to get used to the drawing style haha. But for now I just wanna get used to the style before I start to tweak it. Took me 7 hours to do the whole drawing hahaha

 

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