Moving in with BF...tips on happily ever after?

[amazonarabian]

Get used to poots happening.    You will get over that level of bashfulness in time, eventually. Hubby and I were the same way, really shy/personal, wouldn't do anything 'ew' around the other. Except you can't escape it!  Body functions happen! At least he isn't gross about it. Excuses himself, and would never consider doing a dutch oven on me. And I do the same. You'll just be drifting off to sleep, and one of you goes *PARP!*  My advice is - pretend it didn't happen. That works for us. Unless it is, you know, obvious that both are aware it happened (burping after a soda?), then you just A/ Don't be gross about it and B/ Excuse yourself. As for Poots, leave the room. The odd one will still escape, but you can usually either hold it, leave the room, or if you are lucky and have not-obvious ones just hope it goes un-noticed.
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Lol!
I still remind my husband that girls don't fart... or poop.  The first time I blew ass around him, I pulled a Peter Griffin and said, "That was you."
Now, I just blink innocently at him and he nobly steps in and apologizes for his lack of bodily control.  Even if one of mine disturbs his sleep, he'll still mumble, "I'm gross."
Bless him.
You guys will do just fine.  Just, you know, don't try taking a shower together immediately after making your poo.  Give the bathroom a few minutes to breathe.

(No dancing poo emoticons; this is the closest I could find for you in size, shape, and color)

Also, amen to the larger bed size recommendation.  That is one of the best things you can do.

[kaoskat]

(No dancing poo emoticons; this is the closest I could find for you in size, shape, and color)

Hey!!!!!!! My hammy is NOT a poo!!!! 

[SeashellnBubbles]

(No dancing poo emoticons; this is the closest I could find for you in size, shape, and color)

Hey!!!!!!! My hammy is NOT a poo!!!! 

AH hahahahaha!! I think we'll be ok with the queen size that we have...though we will NOT be sleeping on HIS anymore! That one is 20 yrs old and just aweful...mine is only 5 yrs old, has memory foam and allergy blocking technology...plus, thanks to my Irish wolfhound (then later, surprisingly, the chihuahuas) I only sleep on the very edge of the bed! I barely use 3/4d of it because I'm so used to sharing with canine bed hogs.
Surprisingly, the man is a Midnight Snuggler...he's seldom physically affectionate with hugs and stuff, but when he's unconscious he practically sleeps on top of me! I think it's adorable so it's all gravy

[kaoskat]

Oh my GOSH! Chihuahuas are the WORST bed hogs! My German Shepherd took up less space!

[SeashellnBubbles]

You're so right! My Irish wolfhound took up less space...and was WAY less grouchy about it. If I move around too much during the night, Pischer will growl at me!! they also sleep under the blankets, which is weird...I dunno how that's gonna go over, either. I said to him the other day "It's the little things that drive people crazy" and he just looked at me. I laughed, knowing he was thinking about the pooches!!

[Rhubarbpie]

Try to keep some mystery in the relationship.  My fella and I established very early on that it is NOT okay to casually stroll in when I am showering and take a number 2.......  Neither is it ok to have a conversation through the door whilst in the process of pooping, unless its something like "The house is on fire, get out now"

As for chores, they kinda split themselves naturally.  Since I cannot carry all that well, any heavy lifting (taking the laundry down/emptying the bins) gets done by my fella, the cat is technically mine, so I get the fun stuff like cleaning the litter box and administering medication (though he will help pin the little pain-in-the-butt down when she squirms).  At the moment because I am on funny shifts, he's going all of the cooking now as well, so I cook at the weekends.  Its all about compromise really. 

And space, my man and I work in the same factory, he works night shift and I am on day shift, so we do sometimes pass each other like ships in the night only really being at home together for a couple of hours a day if we are lucky. Then the weekends, sometimes he'll be out fishing all weekend and I never see him, you just gotta make time for each other and enjoy the time you do get together!

It'll be fun though    congrats xx

[SeashellnBubbles]

Mystery...good idea. Honestly, there are things men do that i have no problem being kept in the dark about! We will have a 1/2 bath, so since there's only 2 of us there should never be a "LEMME IN!!" Moment.
We talked about it, and really, i think it'll be ok. Since we decided to do this, I find my stress level has gone down significantly...the fact that my arthritis is progressing, I think, has been harder on my psychologically than i thought. Right now I have to go up a LOT of stairs to my apartment, and it is just getting harder and harder every passing year (even though i'm only 38 and in good shape). The joints just don't move like they used to.
Do any of you have to deal with health issues with your sig other? How do you keep from being overwhelmed, or if you're the unwell one, keep from overwhelming your S.O? I'm fairly self sufficient, but I can totally see him taking too much onto himself to keep me from hurting, but i need to hurt sometimes to keep pushing myself and not let the arthritis win! The Dr. Said i'd be in a wheelchair by the time i was 30...pushing 40 now and no chair in sight

[Kiwi]

We both have some health issues, and other limitations, but we're fairly self-sufficient as much as possible with them. It's mostly knowing your own boundaries and communicating it to the other person - what are the things you can do, and what do you need help with. If the other person says they are ok with something, trust them and let them do it - but let them know you are available if they do end up needing your help.

[SeashellnBubbles]

This thread was a good idea...I've gotten so much good information from you all! I feel much less nervous now. Still waiting to hear about if we got the house or not....

[zabe77]

Great thread! That thing about personal space was a good one. My hubby travels on occasion and when he comes back it's hard to get used to another person being there. I once hid on the deck and was reading by candle-light after he'd been away for quite some time and I needed ME time after only a few hours of him being home! I was happy he was there, but needed a few minutes of alone time... alone!

You might want to discuss chores. We didn't and it became a "I didn't notice that was dirty" or a "I did more than you!" thing... things got better once we decided what needed to be cleaned how often and by whom. That might be our personalities though. 

Try not to sweat the small stuff. My hubby drives me batty with gunking up the counters. He can't seem to use a spoon rest (I have several in homes that he'll use one by accident) and I fought it for months and months and now years later he's still not trained. So I try ignore it and just wipe it up. He does stuff for me too, like he hates how I leave cups in the tv room, but I'm forgetful so, now he  manages to just clean them up for me... so it all evens out.

All the best on this new chapter in your life! Crossing my fingers that you'll get the right place!

[SeashellnBubbles]

Haven't heard back from the landlord, and he relisted the house 3 hours ago so it's not looking good. he may still be trying to find someone to move in Aug 1, but it's coming fast...hopefully he'll have us tops on the wait list if he can't find anyone. It sux we're expected to give proper notice to our present landlords and all the places we've looked at want someone NOW! Just wish he'd send us a message and let us know what's going on...

[Gloomygirl777]

Me and my husband have been married for almost 6 years..and lived together for 8.......my advice would be that even though communication is great you should also learn to let a lot of things go. Just because something bothers you doesn't mean you have to change it. I think it is best to let a lot of the small things go and realize that you do things that annoy him just as much. That is part of being married/living together........you put up with my crap and I will put up with yours. It is always nice to know that you have someone that loves you and is going to stick by you no matter what.

Good luck!!!

[NovelNerd]

Living with someone is a totally different ball game I've found. The best thing I can say is hopefully your place has multiple rooms. We own a house now with three bedrooms, but our first place had two bedrooms. There is always a need to just be able to get away from your partner even just a little while in your own home. I know tht sounds awful, but everyone needs some me time and space.

We spent the first two eyes arguing about money and cleaning and how we both would contribute to it. Eventually we have mellowed and reached compromises after living together close to six years.  I think going into it knowing things won't always be easy, but you both need to have open communication will make the biggest difference.

[ashes]

The hubs and I have been married for 11 years - and we didn't live together before we got married (and I guess we got married fairly quickly - we dated for 4 months, he proposed, and we were married 5 months after that).

The key is to have good communication - and a sense of humor, lol.  As for all the "pooting" and other personal business, there is nothing we don't laugh about!  In fact one of our favorite quotes that we say to each other when one of us has a, erm, gaseous moment is, "...and no more farting - in bed!" (From the newer Stepford Wives movie).

We have a fairly traditional split of household chores - I'm a stay-at-home-mom (we have four kids), although I do teach art classes during the school year 2 days a week (but I do that from my home studio).  He works full time.  So while I do most of the cooking and household chores, he'll take care of the larger maintenance stuff (like fixing minor plumbing issues, yard work, etc).  Just today he cleaned all the  window screens and washed all the windows. And he'll help with other tasks if I've had a busy week or whatnot.  But we both discuss finances - we have a monthly budget, and we talk about major purchases so nothing is a surprise.

I think most couples usually find a groove that works for them.