The MLP Arena
Pony Talk => Pony Corral => Topic started by: Ponybookworm on September 11, 2020, 04:20:22 PM
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I was told at the grand old age of 28 I had Asperger Syndrome, which is on the Autistic Spectrum, & I've noticed, especially on here, that I'm by no means the only MLP lover on the spectrum. People of assorted ages, born under both sexes, & regardless of other circumstances, who are all on the spectrum tend to gravitate to a world of MLP.
What others on the spectrum cite as reasons for our love of Pony I'll let them say, right here in fact, but for me I feel it's the chance to create our own world we actually have some control over & can predict, as well as a way of preparing ourselves for the more scary aspects of dealing with other people. I personally find other people to be scary & unpredictable, & sometimes their actions don't make sense to me. The real world is full of that as well in my experience.
Ponies are an escape from the real world, as well as having assorted pretty colours we can sort & arrange to our heart's content. I'd arrange Ponies by pose, body colour, hair colour, rumpmark, what have you, as a youngster; while grooming & styling them is like fussing a cat without having to deal with cat litter: very therapeutic. Then there are the plushies/ soft toys, which I can snuggle into when I feel lonely. When I have no human friends, the Ponies can be my friends & I love making a good world for them to live in.
If you're on the spectrum, or know a fellow Pony-lover who is, feel free to add how MLP helps you.
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I'm autistic, I think it's a diagnosis other than Asperger's. It took me over a decade to find that out. Not nearly as long as you had to wait though, wow!
My Little Pony, and children's cartoons in general, are an escape for me too. As the world gets scarier I've not been able to watch shows and movies that have too much death or darkness. For example, Doctor Who kept killing off characters I like so I just quit because I've had enough hurt from the real world.
My Little Pony is my obsession. Making vector traces and drawing movie style fanart feels like the only thing I have going for me in life. I have mental health disorders that I feel bad and useless most of the time. I think the tracing is a stim for me. I get into the zone doing them and will make so many in batches. Then I switch to drawing. I love drawing because it gives me control. I can decide to make things that I want to see, and make them look like if they were in the movies. It's the next best thing to being able to control the show itself.
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Pretty much echoing CloudyGlow here. Diagnosed with Aspbergers, and It’s a source of escapism for me, with everything going on in the world. Tend to hyperfixate also on certain pony lines more than others, but MLP as a whole is cathartic. Collecting, crafting, writing, theories, oc’s. It all helps.
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I was diagnosed at 23, which was 15 years ago now. So I had to devise lots of ways of dealing with situations prior to that without being able to explain the things that didn't make a lot of sense to other people. I did a lot of academic things very early. I still can't remember phone numbers, operate an oven (or most appliances, computers are an exception) without supervision/help and I cannot navigate. So that made life interesting.
Why ponies?
I'm guessing things like colour variety, and grooming hair came into it. I always have loved to style the ponies I had, even when I was a kid I would do this quite a lot. And there's some theory that autistic people have a more sensitive colour perception as part of the sensory awareness (I have mild synesthesia as well so I don't know if that feeds into it for me, but again that's kind of another subject...back on topic).
The other reason is that they weren't 'like me'.
I was a blue eyed and blond haired kid. As a kid those were the dolls I hated the most. I am not sure if it was because I could tell I was different from the other kids who 'looked like me', or if it was just that I wanted something that was distinct from me...because autistic people do have issues with self-awareness and separating their own identity out from someone else's at times. So having a toy that was distinct from me would've been more appealing I think.
I am also not too hung up on appearances. I get that for some people it's hugely cathartic to see someone who looks like them in a show or a book or a film, and maybe because I'm a white person I don't understand that in its proper context - but since representations of autism on TV frequently make me angry...I think it's maybe different with invisible disability.
So ponies. Ponies were all colours and shapes and sizes and nobody cared about it. They all got along together even though they were hugely diverse and 'different'. And I liked that it was ok for them to be all different from each other and yet nobody cared that that was the case. Also in the G1 comics, they interacted in their own world with so many other species and peoples and that was cool as well. I think some part of me saw the comic ponies as 'canon' in terms of who they were, but I never played comic setting games with them, I always made up my own. Still, that fantasy world (which aged 5 I believed in, bless) was a big part of it as well.
So in summation...
1. Colour and texture appealing to the senses.
2. The factor of not being 'like me' and thus none of the pressure to be a 'certain way' because of it. (Disclaimer, I can't say 100% that was the reality, but as a kid it was my impression).
3. Imagination and the opportunity to use it.
As for what ponies have done for me...
They got me out and about and travelling, to pony conventions and meets and stuff which I would probably have not done otherwise.
They marked important events in my childhood, and thus created a sense of nostalgia which I won't ever lose, no matter what happens going forward.
They made me learn how to write web coding (something I am working on improving in lockdown) because of my website.
And they allowed me to connect with the kids I worked with when I worked at the college, who also loved pony. Albeit then G4.
There are kind of two ways you can take an obsession if you happen to be on the spectrum. You can use it to push you forward or to hold you back. Mine have always been the former, and pony is one of those.
((Disclaimer note: I am not an organised autistic person, I am not really interested in structures and routine except to make sure that I remember to do a task, rather than anything else. I never organised my ponies by colour, size, height, name or any other reason except whatever took my fancy and most of the time they were just all over the place or in the drawer under my bed. So that particular clause does not apply to me.))
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I've had a feeling I might be somewhere on the spectrum for quite some time now as I show plenty of typical symptoms (obsessing over the way things are arranged instead of focusing on their function, poor social skills, being more attached to objects than to people etc.) but I have never been officially diagnosed, I don't even know how to do that.
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Another person on the spectrum here, tho my interest is more vintage and modern fantasy "girly" toys in general than just pony.
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I suspect I am on the spectrum (ASD level 1, with a touch of ADHD), and customizing and liking MLP has long been a security blanket of mine, I suppose. I like the colors, the hair, and the ability to make the toys however I want, telling their stories in my own way, is empowering and soothing to me. I find that customizing ponies as a hobby is something I've missed, and it helps me feel better as the whole world seems to be falling apart lately, and as my own relationships have been a mess as well. This forum was one of the first I joined and it was through here that I found some of my first online friends. This place means a lot to me, as does MLP.
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I’m autistic (Asperger’s). I also have a number of co-morbidities that can make life extremely challenging and that greatly limit what I can and can’t do as far as travel, work, and even living independently. Through all of it, MLP has always been a calming, happy presence.
There are so many reasons that MLP is special to me, it was honestly very hard for me to express it a single post... It’s been a part of my life for as far back as I can remember, and I’ve loved it all throughout my childhood, teenage, adolescent, and adult life. If I had to try to summarize the reasons, the list would be:
1. Storytelling, fantasy, and escapism. As a child, I loved to pretend that I was Megan, and that I could go adventuring with my pony friends in another world. MLP also gave me a canvas to project my story ideas and characters onto.
2. Variety/collectibility. So many characters! This again ties into storytelling, as I could constantly be imagining new characters and adventures. The idea of collecting in general is also something that appeals to many autistic people.
3. Hair and fashion play. Dressing up ponies and brushing/styling their manes and tails has always been a calming and even creative outlet.
3. Ponies! I was (and still am!) obsessed with horses and ponies. I retained this childhood interest into adulthood (as is often the case for folks on the spectrum).
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There's something different about me LOL I don't have a proper diagnosis. As my mom put it, "she could only afford for one thing to be wrong with me and my asthma took priority".
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I had a feeling this thread was needed so I made it. Everybody on the spectrum is different, so while some like to organise, others will prefer to go wild. This is why I welcome every ASD person's input on here. I just want to thank everybody for not only posting but sharing their experiences. knowing we're not a lone is a good part of the battle for us xxx
:lovey: :lovey: :lovey: :lovey: :lovey: :lovey: :lovey: :lovey: :lovey:
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Though not myself, we have ASD in my immediate family who are MLP fans.
For me the first draw is “Variety on a Theme“. I really like that there are hundreds of ponies but each one is a little different from the others. I think thats why Carebears also appeal to me. 😀
Secondly MLP are just so sweet and innocent. no guile. they feel like a safe place to be. A haven when things get stressful.
:lovey:
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Oh wow I thought I'd been diagnosed at a late age when I was diagnosed at 19. I've always liked My Little Pony but my ASD focus has always been my art which started to be more focused on ponies at times after FiM came out :) I do find myself constantly looking at the FiM decals I have on my wall in this room and at my pony collection on one of my shelf. I love their eye pleasing colors and designs and it always makes me happy when I look at them. They are really part of what makes my art studio a fun room to be in for me. I have one shelf on that bookshelf that is for my G4 collection and the shelf above it is for G1 and G3. Then on top of the others are my various collectibles like lunch tins, Funko figures and some MIB things.
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It's interesting to hear everybody's stories, thanks for sharing them with us! My son is autistic and eats, sleeps and breathes MLP. At first I thought it was the hair play that attracted him to it, as he has always been attracted to hair. I have very long hair (measured in feet rather than inches, haha), and I have to wear it in a bun so that he doesn't snarl it up by putting his fingers in it. He has finally gotten over the compulsion to touch people's hair without asking, and having ponies to groom has helped with that. But I think it has evolved into a mental exercise for him; learning all the names, colors, gimmicks, symbols and accessories that each pony came with and committing them to memory...some details that I don't even think to pay attention to, such as eye color. He catalogs information such as which ponies came with which playsets, and knows details like the fact that some ponies were made with more than one version, such as both so-soft and not, or with 'winky eyes' (BBEs) or not. Basically, he is a collector of information.
I don't know if I am on the spectrum myself. After going through the diagnostic process with my son, I was shocked at the qualifiers that make one autistic. I even said to his doctor that if I had been put through that same screening as a child, I'm almost certain I would have been given the diagnosis of a spectrum disorder. She said I was probably right; testing wasn't routine back then and many kids with mild to moderate autism went undiagnosed.
I know I have something. It may be more of an ADHD/obsessive compulsive-related thing, and it's evolved. When I was a kid there were certain routines and rituals I had to complete, usually involving counting things or chanting/singing a song or phrase in my head a certain number of times before a task could be completed. These tics eased up a bit as I came into adulthood, probably because it just became impractical or unfeasible to hold down a job and be productive when I couldn't finish washing my hands before I sang the theme song to a certain 80's TV show in my head 4 times, or have to count every single tile on the floor of the elementary school bathroom before I could relax enough to pee. The ADHD symptoms manifested more heavily into adulthood; it takes me at least 2 hours to cook even the simplest of meals because I get distracted visually with the things going on in the kitchen and I walk away from what I'm doing so many times and forget what I was doing. I'm very easily overwhelmed, and simple tasks that normal people just breeze through can seem monumental to me. For this reason, my kids and I live a rather isolated existence...we rarely go anywhere, even outside, because the thought of the process it takes to make this happen is overwhelming.
Ponies are a safe and comforting thing, where for chunks of time it can be 1986 in my head while I'm looking at them, and they bring me back to a time when the adults made all the hard decisions and did all the worrying while all I had to do was be a kid. I envy my son that...he truly gets to just be a kid, even if the way he enjoys them is different than most kids.
ETA: For those who came upon a diagnosis later in life...how did it come about that you got tested? Was it at a doctor's suggestion, or were you just curious and pursued it? Just curious! In my country/state, the wait list for a screening was so long that it was 2 years between my son's pediatrician recommending a screening and his actual diagnosis, and our insurance covers absolutely 0% of autism treatment, so I'm not likely to seek any answers regarding my own quirks, but I am interested to know how other adults found answers.
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Autism is genetic, and the spectrum is really broad, so you can have some bits and not others :) My sister is like that - she isn't autistic, but she is more compulsive than I am about certain things and hates change more than I do xD.
The wandering off aspect/losing track of what I was doing is one reason I'm not allowed to use an oven. The other reason is I can't follow recipe instructions because they are always too vague. They imply some kind of unspoken knowledge that my brain doesn't have but which I guess other people do. This is a problem I have with practical instructions in general.
Your son sounds like a great kid, Lady Amalthea. And the detail gathering rings very true to me too. This is one reason I want to be involved still in academia, because it's one of the few places that such detail nerding is really welcome! (Also it's great for learning languages :D)
To answer your question.
I made the decision to get screened myself, and pushed for it with my family through our local GP who helped me get a referral. We had wondered on and off from when I was about 18, for various reasons. I had trouble adjusting to university. The first job I had out of uni lasted 9 days because I couldn't navigate the workplace and I didn't remember where anything was. And I had a couple of unpleasant situations online as well. One was a friend who turned on me at random for something I said but I never understood what that was (and stilol don't, although she later apologised). The other was a concerted campaign of online bullying and stalking by two people in the pony community who took advantage of how naive and idealistic and frankly, unprepared socially I was at 18. All these things came together and made me and my family want answers. I think we started the process around 2004 and I was diagnosed in 2005.
I also think it was one of the best things I ever did, because since I had that diagnosis I have achieved way more than I did before. It's easier to know what you're dealing with, and being able to explain it is helpful, but in a way the label is more to explain to other people than something that changed me in any way.
It just helps to know what the situation is.
It doesn't do much to prevent discrimination, though. Most of which is not deliberate, but just a lack of awareness. People talk a lot about institutional discrimination but when they do they rarely mention disability, which kind of sums up the problem :/
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Thanks for telling your story, Taffeta! I'm glad that you were able to get the answers you and your family were looking for. I agree, having a label is helpful to me, even if it's only for explaining yourself to other people. I had a phobia as a young child (well, still have!), but I didn't know what it was. I just knew that there was a certain thing I was afraid of so badly that I was terrified of going anywhere unfamiliar for fear of encountering said fear, and would get physically sick to my stomach if I did. I knew I was different, and that most people weren't afraid of that thing, and I thought other kids would think I was weird if they knew, and the adults in my life would think I was crazy. I couldn't talk about it. It was debilitating. In high school psychology class I learned what a phobia was, and it clicked in my head that that was what was wrong with me. It helped me be able to talk about it a little, and realized that people were willing to help me, by shielding me from that particular thing, or steering the conversation to safer subjects if that were to come up in a group of mixed people. I know some people don't like labels, but to me, they help me identify who or what I am, and helps me find work-around solutions and coping strategies.
I probably shouldn't be allowed to use an oven either! Or at least a stove. Yesterday i burned up a frying pan because I walked away from sauteeing garlic for spaghetti sauce. I do it all the time. And recipes are the worst...it's too much information at once and I find myself not following the directions because I didn't read far enough ahead.
My mom is about 90% positive that my nephew is also on the spectrum but my sister wants nothing to do with getting him tested. Not sure if it's because she doesn't want the discrimination, or doesn't want to know, or what. I hope she changes her mind.
And thank you, he is a great kid! There is so much misinformation out there, that autistic kids are unemotional and unsocial, and this is just not true! He feels things more deeply than most people I know, but expresses himself differently, and doesn't always know how to socialize the way other kids do. It was so hurtful hearing these 2 girls refer to him as 'that weird kid that kept wanting to sing', and trying to run away from him. We are having trouble getting through all the red tape to get him some extra help in the classroom in the form of a 'shadow', but we are lucky that his new teacher actually used to work with autistic kids, so things look hopeful this year.
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Hey! I haven't been able to get a diagnosis as an adult but I'm pretty sure I have dyspraxia. It's in the same family as autism and ADHD but with more of a neurological/nerve issue.
I've realized that part of why I've stuck with MLP for so long is because as a 90s kid, I really was born into a strange time where life started out with little to no tech, and as a college student now pretty much everything is automated and digital, and that lack of real world sensory input can really mess my brain up. I start feeling like I'm in a sensory deprivation tank as a torture method or something. Collecting ponies really helps keep me grounded because they're a stable presence (they existed before I was born, and have been around my entire life!) but always changing and always have new colour combos, textures, gimmicks, even new scents. it's really comforting to have something I've always been able to rely on when my brain starts to get fussy about sensory issues.
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A new post!!! Cheers dears & I love how much Ponies have helped you
You're right about the tech taking over our lives as well. I grew up wi records, cassettes & videos, & though I've traded up to CDs & DVDs, I still can't convince myself to pay for something I can't hold in my hand, like an mp3...
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I have loved reading all your stories, it's heart warming to hear how Ponies are so therapeutic :happy:
I've been tested for Asperger's as I have a few traits, but it was finally put down to my PTSD diagnosis. There's something about categorizing things such as MLP that is just so, so soothing and gives you that "in control" feeling.
I've always had a really intense inner world and imagination. When I was experiencing trauma as a child just holding each pony and giving them a story made me feel so safe.
My partner has Asperger's, so he totally understands my obsessions with things that others would consider childish. I love how we can just be ourselves around each other. :inlove:
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On the subject of tech...
I feel a bit like what the internet gave us at the end of the nineties is now slowly being taken away from us again.
The internet was a place where you could be quirky, different and a bit obsessive and nobody really minded. The fact this forum still exists is awesome, but I feel like now there are far fewer spaces for people to interact without encountering the mainstream expectations that make it more difficult to communicate in real life.
I know that's a blanket assumption but I don't feel like the spread to social media has helped very much. Online chat is also more challenging because it's all over the place, trying to keep up with all the things going on and react to them is more difficult, while writing on a forum like this, I can think about it, edit it, and hopefully get across what I want to say.
Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise. And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.
Social media is all about a few words, lots of pictures, and then there's all the influencing rubbish telling people to be like other people, rather than encouraging them to be themselves. So with pony, I feel like there's a gradual shift away from that diversity that made it so attractive as a community in the first place. I don't say that other platforms shouldn't exist and I'm sure there are people on the spectrum who use them for ponies without any hesitation. But I personally find them difficult or potentially dangerous to navigate, and it worries me that one day we will lose even this space.
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That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.
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I was diagnosed with technically Asperger's at age 8, but I much prefer the term autistic and refer to myself as autistic, or ASD, or on the spectrum etc etc
I loved my childhood G3 herd dearly, and put a lot of time and energy daily into grooming them, organising them etc both because it was very soothing and because I loved each of them as much as if they were real ponies. Pinkie pie, Sea spray, sparkleworks, wing song, and all the others each had their own personality, lives and stories in this very elaborate world that I created just for me. They gave me an escape from a pretty awful home/school life, and so much happiness.
So naturally, it was absolutely devastating when they were all taken away from me and thrown out shortly after I turned 10, the reasoning being that I was too old for them, and I needed to just get over it. It's been almost 15 years, and I almost can't even look at G3, never mind collect them, because my memories of them are tainted, and even now it makes me so sad.
On the upside, my current G1 collection brings me all that happiness and comfort, without the sadness. I can groom them, restore them, organise them, give them their own personality and noone can take them away from me now, or say I'm too old for them. Who's laughing now, mother?
I couldn't really tell you how and why MLP became one of my special interests in the first place. I suppose part of it is that it was a pretty natural offshoot of my childhood/teenage love of horse riding? (yes, I was derided as a weird horse girl in secondary school just because I used to horse ride) and of course for the reasons I listed above, but it's hard to put my finger on exactly what makes ponies so special to me. But you know, it doesn't really matter why to me, they just are and they make me so happy! ^.^
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That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.
This.
My autistic compulsiveness over detail also can't stand that 90% of ID sites now are constructed by googling other people's sites instead of doing the proper research. I only have respect for ID site people who actually know things about what they're writing, as opposed to just copying it off another site and hoping that it's right.
That side of autism is frustrating when it comes to the pony community, because there are still SO MANY mistakes and my little aspie brain cannot stand it. ;)
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On the subject of tech...
I feel a bit like what the internet gave us at the end of the nineties is now slowly being taken away from us again.
The internet was a place where you could be quirky, different and a bit obsessive and nobody really minded. The fact this forum still exists is awesome, but I feel like now there are far fewer spaces for people to interact without encountering the mainstream expectations that make it more difficult to communicate in real life...
Social media is all about a few words, lots of pictures, and then there's all the influencing rubbish telling people to be like other people, rather than encouraging them to be themselves. So with pony, I feel like there's a gradual shift away from that diversity that made it so attractive as a community in the first place. I don't say that other platforms shouldn't exist and I'm sure there are people on the spectrum who use them for ponies without any hesitation. But I personally find them difficult or potentially dangerous to navigate, and it worries me that one day we will lose even this space.
I completely agree with all of this. I was very aware of the problems of social media as they developed. I could see the dangers and after a while I cleaned them fully out of my life. I prefer to pay a little bit of money for an email service, anti-virus software etc. and be a customer rather than a 'user'.
I have some sensory processing issues with colour and light sensitivity and misophonia. However, my hobbies include art and music so there are also advantages however supermarkets or standard office environments are hell for me. I have a very highly developed sense of smell and taste too, which doesn't cause me any problems usually. I love growing my own food and cooking. I have some traits that can be seen as ASD but I have PTSD and it's impossible to disentangle two. I really wish my PTSD had been diagnosed and acknowledged as a child but instead it was compounded by people around me who wouldn't admit that anything bad had happened to me and didn't like that I acted different. I was the stressed out monkey that the other monkeys didn't like. I did have some time out of work a few years ago, but I'm working as a researcher again and finding it hard due to issues with my concentration, depression and anxiety.
I love creating gardens, which I think are small areas of peace and order that I can retreat to. My style is not highly manicured and can be anything from a window arrangement to a pony display or my real garden. Pony displays were my gardens when I didn't have any outdoor space. I like to make gardens for my ponies and imagine them living there. I do like taking care of ponies too and love restoring forgotten G1s. I don't compulsively groom them though; if they are looking good I just leave them in thier diorama.
I love looking at variations in colour and texture of ponies which I think is a big part of the appeal. Each one is a work of art framing the relationship between just two or three colours, a pose or 'attitude' and a concept defined by the symbol. I find the simplicity and regularity of these models allows me to focus intently in on those relationships. The sensory world is simplified in a charming and kind way that lets me ponder and doesn't overwhelm. They are all a similar size made to be held in the hand. I can look at the colour on the body or applied in a limited range of materials i.e. shiny or metallic paint, nylon hair. It love to meditate on the colours and that is how I organised my first pony display. I do keep the gens seperate and also loosely organise by time of release, mainly because it allows a visual level of regularity that I like. I re-started collecting in my late 30s after a difficult period in my life and ponies gave me a safe way to get my brain working again when I had almost zero confidence. I agree that this is a very special place and that we are lucky to have it.
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My partner has Asperger's, so he totally understands my obsessions with things that others would consider childish. I love how we can just be ourselves around each other. :inlove:
The best kind of relationship tbh <3
Post Merge: October 11, 2020, 06:08:04 PM
I re-started collecting in my late 30s after a difficult period in my life and ponies gave me a safe way to get my brain working again when I had almost zero confidence. I agree that this is a very special place and that we are lucky to have it.
Agree with this, too!
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I’m a bit interesting with my case, I was diagnosed with autism as a kid but my parents didn’t want to believe the doctor so they just said I never had it and that I have communication problems (which is true), my mother didn’t want to put me under that label because she worries that people would reject me because of it. I remember was gonna take some sort of mental test and my dad told the guy who was gonna test me that I’m on the autism spectrum. I also have pdd (which is like dyslexia but with hearing and it’s hard decoding what you just heard someone say) which can be on the autism spectrum but even all that my mother says I don’t have it so I don’t really know if I have it or not.
Ponies are definitely an escape from all of this! When I often get sad, angry, emotional, etc., I like to order ponies who need tlc and clean them up or just take one of my current ponies, hold them and brush their hair! I sometimes watch a playlist of vintage mlp commercials and it genuinely makes me feel happier! (I sometimes look at g3 commercials for nostalgia!)
:good:
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That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.
This.
My autistic compulsiveness over detail also can't stand that 90% of ID sites now are constructed by googling other people's sites instead of doing the proper research. I only have respect for ID site people who actually know things about what they're writing, as opposed to just copying it off another site and hoping that it's right.
That side of autism is frustrating when it comes to the pony community, because there are still SO MANY mistakes and my little aspie brain cannot stand it. ;)
So much yes. The rise of social media and the legions of desperate people trying to get “internet famous” have really soured my online experience.
When I was growing up, it was pounded into your head to “never give out your real name or location online!”. Now, everyone just takes it for granted that that information will be visible to any random stranger in a FB group. It’s mind-boggling.
Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise. And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, Taffeta. :( :hug:
This especially, I relate to. My posts can be a bit lengthy as well, and I’m very self-conscious about it, to the point of editing and rewriting them to be shorter sometimes. >_<
I remember years back, when I was a teenager, I was part of a cosplay forum. It was a big forum, and a lot of people came and went. I’ll always remember one woman who was a bit quirky and wrote very long posts, and who in retrospect I believe was on the spectrum or had a similar condition. She was always very friendly and upbeat, though. A number of people who were fairly prominent in the community at the time basically dogpiled her and just openly mocked her and called her crazy TO HER FACE, IN A PUBLIC FORUM. She was never treated particularly well by the community, but a number of people were just petty and cruel. It was so sad. She eventually just stopped posting and vanished. I always remembered her though, because it all made me feel so angry and depressed. She was treated like garbage because her posts were lengthy and she was passionate about her interests and costumes (in a costuming community, no less...). I didn’t know I was autistic at that time, but I felt enough of a kinship with that person that I felt personally hurt by what happened to her.
We live in a world that places so much importance on acceptance and diversity, which is fantastic—but these noble ideals always seem to come up short of accepting neurologically diverse persons. The minute a person acts “off” or quirky, they’re shunned like we’re living back in the Dark Ages. If you wave a doctor’s note declaring your diagnosis in everyones’ faces, you might get a bit of sympathy or acknowledgment, but that’s it. As human beings, we should always be aware that the people we meet are coming from a wide variety of backgrounds, and that many people have “neurodiverse “ qualities or medical conditions that are invisible to the naked eye.
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My partner has Asperger's, so he totally understands my obsessions with things that others would consider childish. I love how we can just be ourselves around each other. :inlove:
The best kind of relationship tbh <3
#goals right there. :) That's how relationships should be.
This is a great thread! I haven't been (officially) diagnosed myself, but as I have family members on the spectrum (who also love MLP!) I wouldn't be surprised if I have a few traits as well. Soft and / or colorful objects, such as plush and stickers, really hold my attention.
That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.
This.
My autistic compulsiveness over detail also can't stand that 90% of ID sites now are constructed by googling other people's sites instead of doing the proper research. I only have respect for ID site people who actually know things about what they're writing, as opposed to just copying it off another site and hoping that it's right.
That side of autism is frustrating when it comes to the pony community, because there are still SO MANY mistakes and my little aspie brain cannot stand it. ;)
So much yes. The rise of social media and the legions of desperate people trying to get %u201Cinternet famous%u201D have really soured my online experience.
When I was growing up, it was pounded into your head to %u201Cnever give out your real name or location online!%u201D. Now, everyone just takes it for granted that that information will be visible to any random stranger in a FB group. It%u2019s mind-boggling.
Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise. And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.
I%u2019m so sorry that happened to you, Taffeta. :( :hug:
This especially, I relate to. My posts can be a bit lengthy as well, and I%u2019m very self-conscious about it, to the point of editing and rewriting them to be shorter sometimes. >_<
I remember years back, when I was a teenager, I was part of a cosplay forum. It was a big forum, and a lot of people came and went. I%u2019ll always remember one woman who was a bit quirky and wrote very long posts, and who in retrospect I believe was on the spectrum or had a similar condition. She was always very friendly and upbeat, though. A number of people who were fairly prominent in the community at the time basically dogpiled her and just openly mocked her and called her crazy TO HER FACE, IN A PUBLIC FORUM. She was never treated particularly well by the community, but a number of people were just petty and cruel. It was so sad. She eventually just stopped posting and vanished. I always remembered her though, because it all made me feel so angry and depressed. She was treated like garbage because her posts were lengthy and she was passionate about her interests and costumes (in a costuming community, no less...). I didn%u2019t know I was autistic at that time, but I felt enough of a kinship with that person that I felt personally hurt by what happened to her.
We live in a world that places so much importance on acceptance and diversity, which is fantastic%u2014but these noble ideals always seem to come up short of accepting neurologically diverse persons. The minute a person acts %u201Coff%u201D or quirky, they%u2019re shunned like we%u2019re living back in the Dark Ages. If you wave a doctor%u2019s note declaring your diagnosis in everyones%u2019 faces, you might get a bit of sympathy or acknowledgment, but that%u2019s it. As human beings, we should always be aware that the people we meet are coming from a wide variety of backgrounds, and that many people have %u201Cneurodiverse %u201C qualities or medical conditions that are invisible to the naked eye.
That's heartbreaking - and unfortunately all too common nowadays. :( It's strange how often people are shamed for being innocently passionate about something, whether it be a hobby, media, or even an animal, and be accused of having an unhealthy obsession - just because they took ten minutes to share why it's important to them.
But if your life revolves around your favorite sports team, celebrity, or political figure? Now that's acceptable. :nuts:
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On the subject of tech...
I feel a bit like what the internet gave us at the end of the nineties is now slowly being taken away from us again.
The internet was a place where you could be quirky, different and a bit obsessive and nobody really minded. The fact this forum still exists is awesome, but I feel like now there are far fewer spaces for people to interact without encountering the mainstream expectations that make it more difficult to communicate in real life.
I know that's a blanket assumption but I don't feel like the spread to social media has helped very much. Online chat is also more challenging because it's all over the place, trying to keep up with all the things going on and react to them is more difficult, while writing on a forum like this, I can think about it, edit it, and hopefully get across what I want to say.
Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise. And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.
Social media is all about a few words, lots of pictures, and then there's all the influencing rubbish telling people to be like other people, rather than encouraging them to be themselves. So with pony, I feel like there's a gradual shift away from that diversity that made it so attractive as a community in the first place. I don't say that other platforms shouldn't exist and I'm sure there are people on the spectrum who use them for ponies without any hesitation. But I personally find them difficult or potentially dangerous to navigate, and it worries me that one day we will lose even this space.
Oh my, you expressed what I dislike about the current era internet so much more beautifully than I ever could have. I tend to be pretty wordy when I type as well, and I feel often people just don’t read what I write on social media because they want something snappy and short. I can’t write like that, so I just don’t do social media much. I’ve also had friends tell me they don’t really read my texts because it’s too much of a wall of text. It makes me sad that so many people would rather send out something short that can be easily misinterpreted than take the time to type up something that is a little longer, but is more clear. Often I find myself reading a one sentence text 5 times over just to figure out what the heck it really means. :lol: I also can’t keep up with live chats. By the time I’ve processed the information, thought of a response, and typed up said response in a way that makes sense, the chat has moved on to a WHOLE different topic.
Nemesis, that’s so sad about what happened to that person. :( That’s another thing I’ve noticed in modern culture. It seems like it’s expected that you’re to be kind of cold and aloof about your interests. I’ve noticed it seems like people pour more of their energy into critiquing things they DISLIKE rather than celebrating things they like. I get that....it can be kinda weird when someone is SUPER invested in one specific thing. But at the same time, just keep your judgement to yourself. As long as it’s not something harmful, who cares if they’re super engaged in their interest?
I guess I should PROBABLY comment on the topic at hand too. :P I don’t think I’m on the spectrum necessarily, but I do struggle with making friends. I’ve always kind of been a lonely kid, and ponies always helped me feel a little less alone. I had a few rough patches in high school and college where being able to draw and make up stories for the ponies in my collection helped me take my mind off of feeling so sad. I also got a lot of joy out of playing with their hair, cleaning them up, making them look pretty, and all of that. :) Being able to be part of this community is awesome. I sincerely hope this forum never goes away, because it IS overall a very kind, and gentle place to come unwind.
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Nemesis, that story is horrible and entirely relateable. Though thankfully I have never had a concerted campaign like that against my post length, I've had enough digs about it (including here on the Arena, as it happens) to make me really worry about my post length.
But I feel like being on the spectrum makes you care about things more intently than maybe other people do. Not that other people don't have strong loves for things, I am not trying to say that, but just that spectrum people become very vividly involved in whatever they are interested in, and sometimes that goes over the head of other people.
An example. Back in the old days before G3, I remember having a conversation with someone about the G2 situation and the hostility. And I linked them a song and said that it summed up the whole situation for me. And they thought I was a bit crazy. Like, what did a random song have to do with G2 MLP?
In the Jem community I once wrote an entire fanfic story based on one line in a song. I also wrote a whole anime fanfic based on one line in an anime episode. I got huge plaudits back when for doing in depth reviews of Jem eps because "nobody ever thought of doing that before". But to me that kind of thing is natural.
...I got bullied out of an anime community a year or two ago for wanting to discuss characters rather than just agreeing with the status quo that everyone should hate x and like y and basically just repeat the same kinds of comments and emojis. Now I babble about that on tumblr from time to time inbetween translating things, and actually, amazingly, I get a lot of positive responses there. Tumblr isn't as madly busy as other social media platforms, and I can edit, think and post, rather than trying to keep up with a chat feed, so that's also better. I probably like tumblr because it's not one of the most popular any more. If that makes sense.
I have just kept away from social media when it comes to MLP, because frankly it's all too busy and risky and 'normalised'. Forums were a space that gave us a platform but that's all been eroded now. It bothers me that people assume now that everyone is on social media and wants to be :/
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Milkywaymochi & Queen Sophie: All the huggles to both of you. Your mothers sounded like they were more worried about fitting in than about loving you properly, which is such a shame.
Milkywaymochi, your mother taking away your Ponies at 10 was a terrible thing to do to you & no wonder you're still hurt about it now.
Queen Sophie, your mother should have listened to those who knew what they were doing, instead of telling you you don't "have" what you have. I need glasses, & have done since the age of four. If I tried going about not wearing them, reading would give me the worst headache, even wi large print. There may not be such obvious solutions for the way you are different, but surely finding the right tools to help is far better than denying a diagnosis. AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Everybody else: cheers once again!!! I love your stories of how Ponies help you too!!! Yep the Internet, & social media in particular, can be terrible. I quit Facebook due to excessive drama & selfish posts like "who's buying me a drink this weekend" (a real example & the kind of thing I'd never post online because if I couldn't afford to go out I didn't, & certainly didn't beg like that). Now I'm glad I'm not on it, & though I do have a few Discord pages now (a plush shark one, some Pony ones & a couple of writing ones), I too can find it difficult when chat moves too quickly. I also DREAD going on voice chat & will never ever ever do a video chat...
Dragglereeka, love your name on here, & love that your partner clicks so well with you xxx
Last but not least, yep, I think a lot of us write "essays" on how we feel or what we love. Me included xxx
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I don't know a lot about autism other than that every person is different and being on the spectrum can have all sorts of effects not everyone shares. But I always assumed that collecting fandoms would be attractive to people on the spectrum thanks to the sorting/organizing aspects.
That's what I hate about the Internet of today, instead of a quiet refuge to take a break from the real world it has become an extension of it.
This.
My autistic compulsiveness over detail also can't stand that 90% of ID sites now are constructed by googling other people's sites instead of doing the proper research. I only have respect for ID site people who actually know things about what they're writing, as opposed to just copying it off another site and hoping that it's right.
That side of autism is frustrating when it comes to the pony community, because there are still SO MANY mistakes and my little aspie brain cannot stand it. ;)
So much yes. The rise of social media and the legions of desperate people trying to get “internet famous” have really soured my online experience.
When I was growing up, it was pounded into your head to “never give out your real name or location online!”. Now, everyone just takes it for granted that that information will be visible to any random stranger in a FB group. It’s mind-boggling.
Having been belittled two or three times for being wordy in my posts, it really has an impact on confidence when you can't say what you want to say clearly the first time around. I don't think it's always understood how much harder it is to communicate a thought or an idea when you are on the spectrum, even if you understand it 100% perfectly yourself, and it sometimes takes a lot more words to try and get it into something someone else will be able to recognise. And the more it is 'in vogue' to write one line and do the rest in pics or emojis (or use tl;dr), the more frustrating it is.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, Taffeta. :( :hug:
This especially, I relate to. My posts can be a bit lengthy as well, and I’m very self-conscious about it, to the point of editing and rewriting them to be shorter sometimes. >_<
I like long posts! Reading them as well as writing them myself (hey, I just like writing!)
If people just want to exchange short texts they should use a WhatsApp group :lol:
I never thought you guys wordiness was related to autism. I just assumed you were writers. I always like reading your takes!
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Queen Sophie, your mother should have listened to those who knew what they were doing, instead of telling you you don't "have" what you have. I need glasses, & have done since the age of four. If I tried going about not wearing them, reading would give me the worst headache, even wi large print. There may not be such obvious solutions for the way you are different, but surely finding the right tools to help is far better than denying a diagnosis. AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Thanks! It is a bit hard when she says I don’t have it and don’t find ways to help cope with it, with the exception of communication problems but sometimes that can be hard as well, for example I often say or do stuff that is rude but I don’t think is rude at all or say that someone got hurt and I don’t say if their ok not because I don’t care, it’s just that my mind naturally thinks I don’t need to and she does get mad which upsets me cause she knows I have these problems and I mean no harm.
But generally she’s just worried how others would treat me if I were under that label.
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Thank you Zapper ;)
I think I am both. But I may be a writer because I'm autistic. Apparently I used to tell Mum stories before I could write them down, but I learned to read and write really early because I was so captivated by stories. My Mum reckons the only time I was quiet was when someone was reading me a story xD.
The organisational aspects of autism basically passed me by, although my navigational issues suggest a touch of dyspraxia or something else in there too (it's not a classic autistic trait), although I have definitely heard other people say that.
For me it was the sparks of imagination and creative play I think. And the colours. All different colours. I loved that. :) I have always had a really precise sense for colour, and detail, and a really insanely vivid imagination. That's apparently super common for girls on the spectrum though, so I wonder if that's another factor that marries up autism and ponies.
...Worth noting that most of the things people in the wider world attribute to autism are more classically 'male' than 'female' manifestations.
@Queen Sophie, I can relate to that a bit although my family are fine accepting that I have it. I agree with what others have said, the only stigma is when a parent tries to deny their child has it and thus denies them any form of support or explanation with which they can begin to build their life. Pretending it isn't there doesn't make it go away, and definitely doesn't make life easier.
I don't feel like being autistic is a bad thing, but it does frustrate me how easily negative the world can be about it without even understanding. An article I read recently talked about a conference where a presenter put up a slide of 20 or 30 things that autistic people potentially do better than neurotypicals, but that these things get buried down in academic papers because mostly those want to maintain presenting a negative impression.
That's one nice thing about this place, though. There are a lot of us here and we can share our experiences and by doing so, I hope, we make autism more 'human' to everyone else, rather than listening to the so called 'experts'.
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I never thought you guys wordiness was related to autism. I just assumed you were writers. I always like reading your takes!
*Hugs* Thanks, Zapper. :) I’m a writer as well, but like Taffeta said, that may also be tied into autism.
Taffeta, I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. Creative play was a huge part of what captivated me about MLP and similar toys as a child. I was always drawn to toys I could tell stories with and make up worlds for. If I’m being honest, I think that’s still what draws me to many of my favorite toylines—I never seem to have outgrown that imaginative, playful phase of childhood. For that, I’m grateful to my autism. :)
I have the organizational tendencies myself, but sadly they never seem to manifest in a tidy house... only an immaculately organized shelf of ponies and toys. XD
That's one nice thing about this place, though. There are a lot of us here and we can share our experiences and by doing so, I hope, we make autism more 'human' to everyone else, rather than listening to the so called 'experts'.
:iconclap: I agree with this sentiment completely.
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I never thought you guys wordiness was related to autism. I just assumed you were writers. I always like reading your takes!
*Hugs* Thanks, Zapper. :) I’m a writer as well, but like Taffeta said, that may also be tied into autism.
Taffeta, I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. Creative play was a huge part of what captivated me about MLP and similar toys as a child. I was always drawn to toys I could tell stories with and make up worlds for. If I’m being honest, I think that’s still what draws me to many of my favorite toylines—I never seem to have outgrown that imaginative, playful phase of childhood. For that, I’m grateful to my autism. :)
Yeah, completely agree on all levels. In a weird way autism is actually liberating in the sense of 'growing up'. It's possible to grow up without letting go of the stuff you loved in the past. When I was in London I would be teaching and mentoring undergrads in the week and then hopping on the bus at the weekend to go to the carboot sale or to look for the retro ponies. I'd write a section of my thesis and then write fanfiction or watch anime. I'd hang with friends and discuss adult stuffs, and then I'd come on here and talk ponies. And my friends didn't judge me for it, they just took it for granted. As I mentioned in another thread, earlier this year, before COVID shut down my graduation,my friend in Mumbai sent me a pony chain that I wanted to take to graduate with. I still hope I might do that next year if graduation happens. We'll see. I also used to have discussions with another friend where we'd go from discussing advanced academic theories about our field to discussing anime and MLP - her trying to remember which ponies she had as a kid in Israel - and that was just normal.
It may seem contradictory to people who think autism is being stuck within rigid parameters, but there is actually a lot more freedom in some respects. The problems tend to come when you butt heads with the outside world, but even then, if you can get along in the outside world, that freedom still exists.
I have always been able to do most theoretical things at a frighteningly fast pace - I had the draft submission essay for my thesis written within a month of starting my PhD, when everyone else was still on the planning stages. The balance is that I do most practical things at a frighteningly slow pace and some, like navigation and cooking, are still beyond me. But that's fine. It would be helpful to be able to navigate, but for some reason when there are ponies involved I tend to remember routes a little better ;)
A good example of this is the carboot sale I love so much in London. The last year I was there I had a direct bus, but prior to that I had to catch the tube and then a mainline train and walk from the station. I had no idea where I was going, and I can't read maps, so I googled and wrote down the names of all the roads I would go past in order and then memorised them like a little chant.
And then I'd get the train, and one by one, reel off my list of road names until eventually I got to the carboot field.
If there hadn't been the possibility of ponies at the end of it, would I have bothered? Probably not. Did I find ponies there? Yes, even G1s. Was it worth it? Definitely!
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I was diagnosed 2 years ago, I got classic autism as they call it in my country. Ponies, I'm not sure, it's just one of those things I grew up, and one of the things I still have to remind myself of simpler times I guess! MLP is like Pokemon and dinosaurs to me, I'll never outgrow it
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I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 17-18 as is normal for girls unfortunately, and I've collected MLP since 2004 - well I would've started earlier but I was like 5 and had to wait to get them for my birthday haha.
I've always liked animals more than people, the bright colours and hairplay elements are probably what attracted me, as well as the scented ponies (started right when the Butterfly Island range came out) as I LOVE scented toys! Also big into what Gabumon mentioned earlier, thankyou SO much for finally putting it into words, it's pretty much how I collect to this day - 'variety on a theme' :heart:
Toy design has evolved into a huge passion for me because of this, and ideally I'd love it to be my career one day - well that or animation haha.
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Cheers Crystal & Primal for sharing your stories xxx