The MLP Arena

Pony Talk => Pony Corral => Topic started by: Littlesparklepony on August 23, 2016, 12:04:18 PM

Title: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Littlesparklepony on August 23, 2016, 12:04:18 PM

Today my collegue and her 5 year-old granddaughter came on a visit.
I promised that she could see my Collection so here we go..

First Everything was fine and she inspected the ponys throw the glass.

Then she wanted to look closer and I took out one or two. But it wasn´t enough. I accepted that she could take out a few if she was gentle with them and my collegue watched her. I Went out to the kitchen to prepare some picnic for us but it didn´t feel 100 % safe.

Then my collegue came out and says: She want to look at the Dream castle, could you take it down?
I said no, It´s not for play!!! And the Little girl was grumpy..

She wanted to look at more ponys and even accessories so I gave her some fakies to play with that she could take home.

Then she was grumpy and said no I don´t want that and that and that! Quite spoiled acutally.
I asked my friend if she Always was like that and she said that yes, her mother let her do anything she wants but not her son.

Then in the garden she helped me water the flowers suddenly she pull the water right at me!

I was surprised and gave back at once! Then she was Crying and my collegue told me that she was a Little sensitive.
But not that sensitive that she couldn´t pull water at me!  :lookround:

After Crying a while we thought that Everything was fine and forgotten she suddenly pulled water at my collegue and she just said oh how nice to be chilled!  :blink:

I took the hose and said now where finished with the water!
When they were ready to go I Heard her ask if "He" should come along. She really thought I was a Guy!
When I said I´m a girl (I do have long blond hair in a tail and I really feel like a woman) she said:

But Why are you wearing Capri pants and a T-shirt????

We laughed a lot but I couldn´t understand that strange Little Kid!  :lol:


Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: shintoji on August 23, 2016, 12:19:03 PM
eep! my main reason i dont particularly want kids is because of my fear of them damaging my ponies. im not ready to sacrifice my nice collection!!! ^^; children can be strange sometimes
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Littlesparklepony on August 23, 2016, 12:30:55 PM
If I had Kids they wouldn´t be able to play with my Collection.

It´s harder to put up rules for other peoples kids but in my home my rules. :)

Post Merge: August 23, 2016, 01:19:00 PM

Yes youré right she needs a better role model. It´s Always so frustrating to see Children without any rules.

It seems like it´s accepted in the society that Children shall decide Everything in a family. I Think it´s so wrong and it´s not fair to the Children to get that responsibility.

I know kids that are not allowed to just be themselves. The parents are spamming them with activities all the time because they are so afraid that the Children might get bored.

But the truth is that they need to be bored to fantasize and play.
Is it the same where you live or is it just here that many Children are beeing raised like that?


Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: shintoji on August 23, 2016, 01:34:55 PM
If I had Kids they wouldn´t be able to play with my Collection.

It´s harder to put up rules for other peoples kids but in my home my rules. :)

Post Merge: August 23, 2016, 01:19:00 PM

Yes youré right she needs a better role model. It´s Always so frustrating to see Children without any rules.

It seems like it´s accepted in the society that Children shall decide Everything in a family. I Think it´s so wrong and it´s not fair to the Children to get that responsibility.

I know kids that are not allowed to just be themselves. The parents are spamming them with activities all the time because they are so afraid that the Children might get bored.

But the truth is that they need to be bored to fantasize and play.
Is it the same where you live or is it just here that many Children are beeing raised like that?
its the same way here. parents often dont care about their children and allow them to act out, causing them to grow into very vile and rude people with little to no manners. the irresponsibility in some of these people is just a shame!
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: NigheanRuadh on August 23, 2016, 02:45:37 PM
eep! my main reason i dont particularly want kids is because of my fear of them damaging my ponies. im not ready to sacrifice my nice collection!!! ^^; children can be strange sometimes

They can learn to leave the ponies alone.  :)  I have ponies within reach of my children (ages 5 and 2.5), and they know not to touch any of them.  The baby isn't really mobile yet, but she'll learn, too.  My son has asked me if they (he and his siblings) will have ponies will have ponies when they get bigger.  So children and pony collections are not entirely incompatible.  :)
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: shintoji on August 23, 2016, 03:25:11 PM
eep! my main reason i dont particularly want kids is because of my fear of them damaging my ponies. im not ready to sacrifice my nice collection!!! ^^; children can be strange sometimes

They can learn to leave the ponies alone.  :)  I have ponies within reach of my children (ages 5 and 2.5), and they know not to touch any of them.  The baby isn't really mobile yet, but she'll learn, too.  My son has asked me if they (he and his siblings) will have ponies will have ponies when they get bigger.  So children and pony collections are not entirely incompatible.  :)
thats very fair, it all depends on how theyre raised  :silly: i feel im far too selfish for children, but that may change!! im still young :heart:
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: lovesbabysquirmy on August 23, 2016, 03:38:08 PM
It all depends on whether or not the Parental Unit teaches respect, and then actually practices it in all walks of life.

Clearly the mom in this case did not practice respect towards *you*, alluding that your collection SHOULD be played with by her child! 

I got to look at many family members' collections just-on-shelves-only as a child.  My mother never asked people if I could play with their collectibles - because they were "their collectibles"!  I was allowed to re-arrange fridge magnets in one family members' home but that sure didn't extend to anything past the fridge!  I would have been so punished had I demanded to play with anything that belonged to an adult....
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Leave a Whisper on August 23, 2016, 04:02:43 PM
Well, in your home it's your rules. She'll hafta learn boundaries at some point. If she don't like it, tough.

I had to babysit my cousin's friend once. His parents left without a trace and I got the word that we'd be responsible for him until we came home from the fair. So kind of them to ask.  Now I am uncomfortable with the idea of being in charge of other people's kids, but he tried my patience. A lot! He demanded his own bottle of water, sure it was hot, but we had enough for everyone. I was kind enough to supply him with one and he threw it on the ground. I picked it up and yelled at him. He didnt wanna wait for the other kids to finish getting off a ride and tried to dart away. I grabbed his arm and told him that we stayed together and that if he didn't follow my rules, I would stay behind with him and he would be forced to watch the other kids go on the rides without him. When he realized I was serious, he stopped acting up. I made sure my cousin would tell his parents all about it, so he couldn't try and spin it against me. They left him with NO money, so I had to feed him. I don't mind stuff like that, but considering that the older boys parents( they were old enough to look after themselves) had left them money and his didn't and I had only enough for my kid and me. Yeah... inconsiderate.

Im kinda surprised her grandmother didn't say a word. If I'd pulled that kinda behavior as a kid, that she did, I woulda been in biiig trouble with my grandma.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Artemesia's Garden on August 23, 2016, 04:05:52 PM
That all sounds really awkward!  >_<
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Storybelle on August 23, 2016, 04:09:09 PM
Luckily I've known I don't want kids since I was about fourteen so sticky fingers on my ponies is not a thing I'm gonna have to worry about. Cats climbing on my ponies shelves might be another problem however...

I'm really worried about people not controlling their kids. It just makes them grow up into irresponsible adults and then the cycle continues. I swear people these days are shocked when a parent actually shows having a firm hand with their kids.

My grandmother has some very expensive figurines that we could look at but not play with. Those were the rules so we had to abide by them. That's how it is.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Tak on August 23, 2016, 05:13:18 PM
5 years old is old enough to know better. I could see a two year old thinking they should get what they want when and where they want it. 5 year olds are in kindergarten here. Far too self aware to allow such behavior.

This is coming from a woman with a rather spoiled 7 year old. My daughter knows how to handle the ponies, which are ok for playing, which she shouldn't touch, and she follows the rules. I even have some g3's on an open shelf about 5 inches off the floor (bottom shelf of a bookcase) and my just a year old dog doesn't touch them. When my daughter has friends over we just say that the collection is mine and I said no touching. It has worked so far and my daughter doesn't mind. She has the monster high dolls to call all hers when people are over in exchange.

She also would never spray someone with water unless they said it was ok and never the face. She learned that at four.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Noxxbunny on August 23, 2016, 05:20:43 PM
I really hate it when things like that happen. Boundaries are so important to teach. Because then they'll just grow up thinking their behavior is acceptable. And it isn't so tolerable and "cute" when an adult acts that way.

When I was a kid, my uncle's friend brought his daughter over once. I was about 6 years old and she was the same age as me, but she had no respect for other people's space or things.

I had been given a "collector's edition" basketball Barbie for Christmas, and while I wasn't even into Barbie, her being "collector" made her seem cool to me. So I kept her in her box, on a bookshelf for me to enjoy that way.

This kid comes barging in, and within 5 minutes of being in my home, she spots it and rips the box open before I even had the chance to tell her not to touch it.

And on top of that, while I was still mad about my Barbie, she broke the ear off my techno robot dog. Which at the time was my favorite toy and everyone knew it. She didn't get in trouble for any of it because no one was enforcing boundaries on her. And that made me SO mad. I had been wronged and everyone just told her it was okay to act like that. If I had acted that way as a guest in someone else's home, I don't even want to imagine the punishment I would've gotten from my mom.

At least now I have control over my own possessions and who's around them. Kids in my family aren't allowed in my room where my collectibles are. My stuff stays safe, and the kids know that this has always been the rule, so they don't care or mind it anymore. The "mystery" appeal thankfully wore off.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: ghouldilocks on August 23, 2016, 06:22:31 PM
That sounds awful! What a horrible brat. A lot of kids are like that, and actually, many teenagers and young adults are now awful, disrespectful people because their parents raised them similarly. I would absolutely have put my foot down, like you did, and would have probably gone a bit further even after the water incident. I also used to work in childcare for a few years, though, so I have no problem with correcting other people's children.  :blush: :lol: My personal philosophy is that if the parent or guardian is unwilling to do what needs to be done, then I will consider the circumstances and act accordingly myself - what can be said or done is obviously more limited in public spaces, but in your own home, I'd say you have more right to lay down the rules than they do.

Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Ponyfan on August 23, 2016, 07:19:55 PM
How terrible. Kids need boundaries and "do not touch" means do not touch" not "go ahead and play with it." It seems like a lot of parents don't teach their kids to respect other people's belongings or things.


This story reminds me of when I was growing up we had some people over and I was trying to play with the older girl and the younger girl at the same time. The younger one broke the leg off of one of my Ariel dolls (I only had two Ariels) because she pulled her leg out of the socket. I told my parents and her mom about the younger girl breaking my doll (I was usually very careful with my toys so it was big deal to me that my doll was broken.) Her mom said she was sorry but didn't even offer to replace my Ariel or at least pay for me to get another doll. My dad tried to fix her but my doll couldn't sit down anymore.


Ponyfan
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: S.o.a.r. on August 24, 2016, 01:04:51 AM
Oooh, I feel your pain!  >_<
I myself don't have children (yet) but I have nieces. When I started collecting back in 2009, the oldest one was 7 years old and was allowed to play with certain ponies as long as she was gentle with them. These particular ponies were of course no grails and rare ones, but I still made it clear what rules applied when playing with them. There was never any incident but then she was 7 yrs so old enough in my book to play with G1 ponies.  ^.^

Now, my youngest niece (2,5 yrs old) has recently discovered the closet where I keep my entire MLP collection. All the ponies are at the top of the closet so only an adult can reach them but she manage to open the lower closet doors (they're sliding doors) which makes me nervous. Again, this niece is very gentle with things already at an early age and she's not left alone with the pony collection. By now she's played with the Baby Buggy twice; it's her favorite pony accessory. I've also let her play with two Teeny Tiny's and Strawberry Surprise but she's sometimes begging for another buggy/stroller; preferbly the Princess Baby Buggy. *eeep* Which is where I've put my foot down and moved all the smaller accessories up to where I keep all the ponies.

Hmm, I should probably install some kind of lock on that closet....  :shocked:
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Baby Mischief on August 24, 2016, 01:29:06 AM
Wow, that kind of behavior would never work over at my place! :shocked:
I have a big collection that I share with both my girls, age 4 and 7, and the whole collection is in my oldest daughters room! They share the three bottom shelf and I have the three upper shelfs. They get to play with everything except for my really HTF ones :P And it is never any problems, tehy know not to ask for them ;)
When they want to play with "my" ponies, they always ask first and my little one loves the Dream Castle, so I let her play with it, even though it took me 3 years to get a complete one without broken hinges ^.^
I find that it is really helping them to learn patience (waiting for me to get all the stuff down from shelfes) and respect for other peoples things. They are so gentle with the ponies and I just love that we can collect together!
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: nessa16 on August 24, 2016, 03:15:37 AM
Other people's children! That kid probably would have been stopped at looking with me. I have never had patience for that kind of crap with kids, even my own nieces. We used to have foster kids when I was in high school and I had no problem disciplining them. I try to let my nieces down nicely I guess but if they continue they're action or asking I quickly turn stern. My brothers are like that too. We were never allowed to act like that as children and it won't happen with our kids, my fiancé is in agreement.

As for my collection, I have already devised that I will have a lock on the door of my collection room when we get a big enough house to put them in one. I never liked kids playing with my toys when I was little except my cousin because I was very careful with my toys. I cried if I lost or broke anything. Even now it makes me cringe a little when I let my nieces or cousins kids play with my old toys like my dollhouse. It almost feels lie they don't play with it right lol because it's not how I would've done it lol. Talk about anal, huh? Anyone else have that problem?
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Leave a Whisper on August 24, 2016, 09:34:53 AM
My daughter does get to play with my toys, ponies included, except for two of my more delicate customs. She also has her own ponies.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Koudoawaia on August 24, 2016, 11:45:00 AM
Wow what a brat. Can't believe her grandmother basically encouraged the bad behavior the positive way she reacted to being sprayed by the hose. o.o

Years ago, when I was still a kid myself and my family still lived in our apartment, my younger sister had a friend in the apartment directly across from ours who was a brat. I have a black marble mastadon that I proudly bought with my own money from Big Bone Lick State Park when I was 7. One time when she was at our apartment, my sister's bratty friend had a brat fit and threw that mastadon against the wall, breaking its face off. Fortunately my mom was able to save it with superglue and you can only see a thin line where the break was and its trunk proudly sports my and my husband's wedding rings when we're at home and not wearing them.^^

In much more recent years when my husband was fixing peoples' computers, this man came to our house with his and brought his son with him (don't even like letting kids in the house to begin with). The boy started poking at things on our bookshelf. x.x It was our stuff and our house and I should've told the boy to stop touching it but I was afraid of making my husband's customer mad so I just sat in tense silence watching the stupid kid do it while his dad also said nothing.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Littlesparklepony on August 24, 2016, 12:03:05 PM
Thankyou All wonderful pony people for your storys and comments!

It made me feel less alone with this problem.  :lovey:

My collegue is a nice person other ways and weré planning a trip to Italy together in October (without the brat offcourse)!
I hope she will show better character there. :)

I really love the most other Children around me but this one took the price!  >_<

Koudoawaia, I can really see the Little brat touching things in the shelves. I can recognize that you don´t want to say something not making trouble for others escpecially with a customer and all!
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Jorgito93 on August 25, 2016, 10:16:49 AM
I'm kinda different than most of you on this point.I let any girl i really trust play with my ponies.It's mostly girls i really know and that i'm sure they won't hurt them.I didn't had any problems with any of them.Now i understand you want to protect your collections, but for me they at first they are toys, so i let children be happy with them if i'm sure i won't have any kind of problems.
But i know someone who had problems with a child like that.My childhood friend has a big Furreal pony(like almost real pony size) that she loves since she was 5.Not to long ago, a boy she knows was at her home.She told him to not touch the pony and... he didn't listened,mounted the pony and pulled him by an ear.Result? a broken ear, and i think my friend still want to kill him.And her mother didn't said anything to him about that.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: FantasticFirefly on August 25, 2016, 11:15:50 AM
Have "house rules" and be gracious but FIRM in ensuring they are followed. Not touching things that were not expressly given to you for play/handling is one of those rules in my home (we own some antique stuff, fragile things, sharp/dangerous things, and of course the pony room).

I have had plenty of people over with children with no issue. and no issue with "my ponyroom is for looking" (I actually make that clear with everyone. they're behind glass so it's clearly a "looking" room like a museum)

Now. even though I have no kids, I do have a little basket of playthings and simple (non messy) craft stuff. and for the ponyroom I stole an idea from restaurants as a kid (the ones who'd let you pick little toy out of a "treasure chest" after a meal). Visit the "pony museum" and if they love the ponies (and the parent allows) they get to select one out of the "treasure box" as they leave the pony room- they love that. :) I keep a cute looking box filled with tag along loose ponies I've cleaned, groomed, bagged and prettied up the hair with ribbons. (G3's, G4's, retro re-release G1's (the anniversary collector/rainbow).)
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Littlesparklepony on August 25, 2016, 12:13:46 PM
I'm kinda different than most of you on this point.I let any girl i really trust play with my ponies.It's mostly girls i really know and that i'm sure they won't hurt them.I didn't had any problems with any of them.Now i understand you want to protect your collections, but for me they at first they are toys, so i let children be happy with them if i'm sure i won't have any kind of problems.
But i know someone who had problems with a child like that.My childhood friend has a big Furreal pony(like almost real pony size) that she loves since she was 5.Not to long ago, a boy she knows was at her home.She told him to not touch the pony and... he didn't listened,mounted the pony and pulled him by an ear.Result? a broken ear, and i think my friend still want to kill him.And her mother didn't said anything to him about that.

This was the first time I ever met the Kid. I had a lot of other Children coming over with no problem. That´s because their parents have rules for them. :)

After this situation I decided that no Child will touch my stuff again especially not taking them out from the cabinet.
I just don´t feel comfortable about it.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Purpleglasses on August 25, 2016, 03:31:06 PM
I'm kinda different than most of you on this point.I let any girl i really trust play with my ponies.It's mostly girls i really know and that i'm sure they won't hurt them.I didn't had any problems with any of them.Now i understand you want to protect your collections, but for me they at first they are toys, so i let children be happy with them if i'm sure i won't have any kind of problems.

I'm kind of on board with this. After all ponies are toys and meant to be played with! I understand some people have very nice condition ponies they don't want kids to mess up, that makes sense. And respecting boundaries is very important.
But there's something about a community of people who collect kid's toys calling kids brats and disdaining them for wanting to play with toys that rubs me the wrong way. Aren't we all here because we remember the joy these things brought us as kids? Ponies are made of vinyl and aside from ones with lovely mint hair or flutter pony wings, they are pretty durable. Ponies are clearly toys, the kid wouldn't understand that after years the Dream Castle might be fragile. She just sees a pink castle and plastic unicorns.

Granted I wasn't there, but the kid in this story is only five and has lots of room to grow and learn. I'm sorry you felt like your friend wasn't respecting your collection by not telling the kid to do so. It would have been a good time for her to point out that you have to respect other people's boundaries. 
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Noxxbunny on August 25, 2016, 03:50:26 PM

Aren't we all here because we remember the joy these things brought us as kids?


Gonna raise my hand here as someone in the minority and say...nope. :silly:

I didn't start liking ponies until I was in high school already lol.

But I recognize that that's not the case for most people here. :lol:
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: QueenGusty on August 25, 2016, 04:28:14 PM
I had ponies as a kid but I don't like children and children should not be allowed to run riot with other people's possessions. Whether or not they're toys or not, they're not THEIR toys. I had this argument with my dad, I'd got some free tiny Daleks with a magazine and left them on the coffee table (because you know, I LIVE here and should be able to do that). Anyway two brats came to the house and one broke one of my dalek's arms. I was fuming and all my Dad said "What do you expect, they're kids and they see toys" He simply couldn't understand my point that whether they're toys or not, you don't just go into someone else's house and start messing with their stuff that they bought with their money. I'm a stationary addict but I wouldn't go into someone's house and rifle through their pens. So why is it deemed acceptable for children to do that? Boundaries, people!

Carrie
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Purpleglasses on August 25, 2016, 05:03:10 PM
It's deemed "acceptable" because children are still learning. They do not have experience nor a fully developed brain. Of course responsible parents teach their kids to respect boundaries, but the above still applies. Do I think kids should get a free pass for behaving badly? Well, no, but when they do I still place the responsibility on the adults they are with. Kids need guidance to understand that they should know better.

To people who say they hate kids, all kids? Don't you remember how it felt to be a kid when people said this? There are badly behaved kids and wonderful kids. A whole group never deserves to be written off.

In the end we are collecting toys made for children. Not even high end art toys, but actual toys made for kids. I've had actual kids play with my childhood ponies and they came back fine.

I am not saying it's not ok to say kids can't play with your ponies. Your stuff, your rules. Heck, I have a Cutesaurus and probably wouldn't just hand it to a five year old. It's really just the writing off of children in this thread that bugs me.

Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Taxel on August 25, 2016, 05:13:10 PM
I'm kinda different than most of you on this point.I let any girl i really trust play with my ponies.It's mostly girls i really know and that i'm sure they won't hurt them.I didn't had any problems with any of them.Now i understand you want to protect your collections, but for me they at first they are toys, so i let children be happy with them if i'm sure i won't have any kind of problems.

I'm kind of on board with this. After all ponies are toys and meant to be played with! I understand some people have very nice condition ponies they don't want kids to mess up, that makes sense. And respecting boundaries is very important.
But there's something about a community of people who collect kid's toys calling kids brats and disdaining them for wanting to play with toys that rubs me the wrong way. Aren't we all here because we remember the joy these things brought us as kids? Ponies are made of vinyl and aside from ones with lovely mint hair or flutter pony wings, they are pretty durable. Ponies are clearly toys, the kid wouldn't understand that after years the Dream Castle might be fragile. She just sees a pink castle and plastic unicorns.

Granted I wasn't there, but the kid in this story is only five and has lots of room to grow and learn. I'm sorry you felt like your friend wasn't respecting your collection by not telling the kid to do so. It would have been a good time for her to point out that you have to respect other people's boundaries. 

I'm just gonna chime in and say that toys are not as durable as you may think if kids are rough. I once brought a few dolls with me to visit family in California. I had the Very Special Dolls my little niece could only look at and maybe touch lightly and I had the Play dolls, hand picked candidates suitable for play. I think she was 8 or 9 at the time so the dolls were pretty okay with her, although she was a bit rough (I knew she was so that's why I brought a bald doll). Within minutes of her 4-5 year old brother entering the room the bald doll was scuffed in multiple places. I was stunned. That never happened to my toys when I was a child, because I played differently, so I didn't anticipate that happening. She's durable and thankfully the scraps came off with Magic Eraser but seriously, do not underestimate children. G1s are VERY easy to stain, even in collectors' hands, and scrapes/scuffs/marks are also super easy to pick up.

I once brought some very rough (instant bait to anyone else) G1s down on another visit so I could play ponies with my boyfriend's little sister. She was about 4 at the time. We could only play with my ponies together so she was always supervised, 100% of the time. I would gently encourage gentler play and would downright tell her (nicely but firmly) when she got too rough. Their hair still got massively messed up within minutes. That never happened to my toys as a kid, even when I was the same age as her. Not all kids play the same.

G1s are nearly antiques at this point. They cost quite a bit of money once you factor in pony, shipping, cleaning, restoration, and display/storage. We aren't collecting for toyboxes. And truthfully, children absolutely should not be playing with G1s anyways. Safety standards were different back then and plastic breaks down. Ponies, and many other old toys, can leech plasticizer, have paint flake off, or literally fall apart/crumble in your hands. I would never feel comfortable allowing a young child to own and play with really old toys like that. Preteens and teens collecting is a different matter, of course.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Ponyfan on August 25, 2016, 05:23:35 PM
Some kids do not follow rules even when told that certain things are not meant to be played with. I don't see anyone in this thread saying it was wrong for the child to want to play with toys but the way I read it was the child was not respecting the rules that Littlesparklepony had set in place. She didn't want to play with the ponies  Littlesparklepony offered her and told her it was okay to play with. The colleague should have realized that Dream Castle was up high for a reason and should have probably told the child that she should only look at Dream Castle unless told it was okay to play with it.

Ponyfan
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Leave a Whisper on August 25, 2016, 06:31:52 PM
I'm kinda different than most of you on this point.I let any girl i really trust play with my ponies.It's mostly girls i really know and that i'm sure they won't hurt them.I didn't had any problems with any of them.Now i understand you want to protect your collections, but for me they at first they are toys, so i let children be happy with them if i'm sure i won't have any kind of problems.

I'm kind of on board with this. After all ponies are toys and meant to be played with! I understand some people have very nice condition ponies they don't want kids to mess up, that makes sense. And respecting boundaries is very important.
But there's something about a community of people who collect kid's toys calling kids brats and disdaining them for wanting to play with toys that rubs me the wrong way. Aren't we all here because we remember the joy these things brought us as kids? Ponies are made of vinyl and aside from ones with lovely mint hair or flutter pony wings, they are pretty durable. Ponies are clearly toys, the kid wouldn't understand that after years the Dream Castle might be fragile. She just sees a pink castle and plastic unicorns.

Granted I wasn't there, but the kid in this story is only five and has lots of room to grow and learn. I'm sorry you felt like your friend wasn't respecting your collection by not telling the kid to do so. It would have been a good time for her to point out that you have to respect other people's boundaries.

Agreed. It is kinda odd. :p Ponies are toys first and very durable.

But I also agree boundaries must be set. My cousins  came over and I promised they could play with my model horses and ponies as long as they asked me first, put them back and DID NOT touch my more breakable horses.

Three little kids played with them no problemo, one little kid grabbed two of my off limit horses without permission and when he realized I'd seen him, threw them on the floor.

He was not allowed in my room or to play with my toys anymore.

Plus Little SparklePony was gracious enough to allow her to play and even gave her some to take home and the little girl seemed ungrateful and demanding about it.


Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Jorgito93 on August 25, 2016, 07:40:22 PM
It seems what i said created a little debate, so i'll precise what i think.I'm not saying we should give a Rapunzel to the first child that enters our room.I'm just saying that i think that if you know the child and know she is careful, completely forbid her to touch any ponies (even the ones that aren't even slightly rare) will do more bad than good.But when i let children play with my ponies i always watch them to prevent anything going wrong.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: dIGITS on August 25, 2016, 07:53:08 PM
It seems what i said created a little debate, so i'll precise what i think.I'm not saying we should give a Rapunzel to the first child that enters our room.I'm just saying that i think that if you know the child and know she is careful, completely forbid her to touch any ponies (even the ones that aren't even slightly rare) will do more bad than good.But when i let children play with my ponies i always watch them to prevent anything going wrong.

I always keep a few Playable toys in my room. For me, it's blythe dolls- there are definitely 75% that NO CHILD could touch- but I have 2 or 3 dolls that they can mess up the hair, scratch the face--- I mean, I tell them to play nice, but they are reserved for play. So far, they are still in display condition ;)
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: FantasticFirefly on August 25, 2016, 08:29:20 PM



Ponies are indeed easy to damage from good, excellent and especially from NM/Mint. Hand oils even stain and yellow plastics! and can add "pindot" dirt (pretty much it's grunge getting into a pored surface). sitting on something with pigment can stain quickly, hair can frizz quickly. having to regroom/restyle ponies multiple times (even using the gentlest methods) to get them display ready again damages them a teeny bit each time. Since my collection stuff was purchased as "art pieces" and in a condition harder to find for toys of that age (from original owners that seemed to have never brushed/touched them) I treat them as such- how often does one experience a fresh new ponies (brings me back to the moment I got to open some of my originals as a kid and how they looked). and while g1 ponies won't necessarily crumble under a childs touch they are 20+ year old degrading PVC toys. DO indeed leech out nasties (plasticizers, and contain lead/cadmium). I am not a meanie for treating my things this way.

So, considering all of that, and distinctly remembering how I felt as a child (and I was a gentle kid. and mostly "arranged" things repeatedly) why stress yourself or a kid.

 I was highly uncomfortable and opted out of doing anything that involved an adult looming over me anxious and watching that I didn't damage something of theirs or hurt myself. (think about it- it really wouldn't be fun to "play" like that now would it?) The toybox I do have handy to occupy friend's kids- pretty much go wild within reason (like no throwing them at people, or lighting them on fire, or using the crayons to scribble on the wall or couch) but if playing involves smacking two toys together repeatedly- sure. have fun. oh the windshield got cracked on the hot wheel? ok. guess I know what I'm getting at the thrift next time some kids are gentle, some are not and not because they're "brats" some kids don't have well developed fine motor skills. And the kids who DO behave like brats shouldn't be hated. "everything is mine if I want it" kids are still innocent. They learned from the people raising them and setting the rules at home- so direct the anger at the source.


It's deemed "acceptable" because children are still learning. They do not have experience nor a fully developed brain. Of course responsible parents teach their kids to respect boundaries, but the above still applies. Do I think kids should get a free pass for behaving badly? Well, no, but when they do I still place the responsibility on the adults they are with. Kids need guidance to understand that they should know better.

To people who say they hate kids, all kids? Don't you remember how it felt to be a kid when people said this? There are badly behaved kids and wonderful kids. A whole group never deserves to be written off.
.

SO MUCH YES! <3
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: QueenGusty on August 26, 2016, 12:25:10 AM
It's deemed "acceptable" because children are still learning. They do not have experience nor a fully developed brain. Of course responsible parents teach their kids to respect boundaries, but the above still applies. Do I think kids should get a free pass for behaving badly? Well, no, but when they do I still place the responsibility on the adults they are with. Kids need guidance to understand that they should know better.

To people who say they hate kids, all kids? Don't you remember how it felt to be a kid when people said this? There are badly behaved kids and wonderful kids. A whole group never deserves to be written off.

In the end we are collecting toys made for children. Not even high end art toys, but actual toys made for kids. I've had actual kids play with my childhood ponies and they came back fine.

I am not saying it's not ok to say kids can't play with your ponies. Your stuff, your rules. Heck, I have a Cutesaurus and probably wouldn't just hand it to a five year old. It's really just the writing off of children in this thread that bugs me.



I agree that a lot of it is to do with modern parenting. And I'm sorry but a lot of posts in this thread exemplify this shift in attitude from when we were kids perhaps. when i was a kid, you would never have dared go into someone's house and play with things and touch things without the person's permission. And if someone offered you something as a gift, even if it wasn't quite what you wanted as OP did, you would have said thank you and moved on. Because you were taught RESPECT and MANNERS which a LOT of children do not seem to have nowadays. I refuse to let my possessions pay the price for other people's bad parenting so yes, no children allowed in my bedroom as far as I'm concerned. I have however, given my nieces duplicate blind bags and even duplicate mini Funkos when they've come to the house. that's a win-wn situation ;D

Carrie
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: TornadoTwist on August 26, 2016, 01:20:59 AM
Even if they are toys it's up to the owner of the house for the rules in terms of touching/playing with them. All my ponies are in a class cabinet and I think that already says enough when a child enters. Not that I have any idea when a child would enter my room because there are no little children in my family. I have three cousins who went to my room once and they were kinda hyperactive but they left my collection alone, they only looked at it. :3
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Aflame on August 26, 2016, 02:20:48 AM
kids:can we see your ponies ?
me :yes but you look with your eye not your hands !
kids:can we play with them
me:NO NO NO !!!!!!here have a fakie
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Skeen on August 26, 2016, 10:25:03 AM
When my niece was younger and wanted to see my ponies, we came up with a very easy to remember rhyme so she could tell what was and was not to be played with:

Pony on the shelf, hands to yourself.  Pony on the ground, party on down!

I made sure to keep a few doubles and baits on the floor for her so she'd always have a "pony on the ground" to play with. 
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Galactica on August 26, 2016, 10:30:06 AM
Skeen I have a similar approach.

My nieces and nephew visit- and I really love them, and while they have recently improved their manners, they are sometimes a little out of control.  I keep my collections in LOCKED glass cabinets.  They can LOOK to their heart's content.  But no touchy.

We have a kid's room that has a couple boxes of toys in it  (ponies and strawberry shortcake stuff) - and some other things. They understand what is available for play and what is available to look at.

OP I think the trick is to NEVER COMPROMISE. NEVER let them lay hands on your special things because then they think that everything is fair game...
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Leave a Whisper on August 26, 2016, 11:52:07 AM
When my niece was younger and wanted to see my ponies, we came up with a very easy to remember rhyme so she could tell what was and was not to be played with:

Pony on the shelf, hands to yourself.  Pony on the ground, party on down!

I made sure to keep a few doubles and baits on the floor for her so she'd always have a "pony on the ground" to play with.

That's great! :lol:
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Skeen on August 26, 2016, 11:59:04 AM
When my niece was younger and wanted to see my ponies, we came up with a very easy to remember rhyme so she could tell what was and was not to be played with:

Pony on the shelf, hands to yourself.  Pony on the ground, party on down!

I made sure to keep a few doubles and baits on the floor for her so she'd always have a "pony on the ground" to play with.

That's great! :lol:

:D  She would come into the room and look at the shelves and inform me, and anyone else in the room, that the shelves were off-limits. 

Niece: ::points to sea ponies::  Do not touch. 
::points to birthflowers:  No play. 
::points to So softs::  No-no. 
::indicates wall of shelving::  Not for touch.
::dives into pile of ponies on the floor:: My friends!!!!! :D
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Leave a Whisper on August 26, 2016, 12:02:47 PM
When my niece was younger and wanted to see my ponies, we came up with a very easy to remember rhyme so she could tell what was and was not to be played with:

Pony on the shelf, hands to yourself.  Pony on the ground, party on down!

I made sure to keep a few doubles and baits on the floor for her so she'd always have a "pony on the ground" to play with.

That's great! :lol:

:D  She would come into the room and look at the shelves and inform me, and anyone else in the room, that the shelves were off-limits. 

Niece: ::points to sea ponies::  Do not touch. 
::points to birthflowers:  No play. 
::points to So softs::  No-no. 
::indicates wall of shelving::  Not for touch.
::dives into pile of ponies on the floor:: My friends!!!!! :D

Aww, that's cute. :ohyeah:  Way to go neice!
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Majesty on August 26, 2016, 05:21:13 PM
I think we all share the same fear of children touching our collections, mainly ruining them.  I'm sorry you had that experience.  Kids don't understand about having toys you don't play with or kids aren't allowed to touch.  I don't want kids either.  I'm an animal lover, I've had my cat for 12 years and I love him as if I would love my child but I didn't actually give birth to him I know that.  But, he is also like a kid where he wants to play with stuff he's not allowed to touch.  He is constantly after my ponies and I had to actually block him from getting at my ponies by putting a baby gate across an area where he would get to them but now he can't.  Well, it's a baby gate for pets since it has paws on it but it's the same concept. :P

My niece rarely visits with her Dad.  She's 10 now but even though she knows I collect ponies and she can't play with them she still asks sometimes if she can play with them.  I nearly panicked, because the time before last time she came my brother's girlfriend and her 3 year old son came over and he played in my niece's bedroom and came into my room when I wasn't in it and some of my babies ponies were missing, along wiht some things being moved around.  I found him with my ponies and nearly freaked but had to remind myself he was three and doesn't understand.  I kindly told him that "I'm sorry you can't play with these, they're just for displaying".  I know he doesn't understand displaying but I could've also said sitting on the shelf and looking at but it probably wouldn't have made sense to him either.

I that time when my brother's girlfriend's son was here I was kind enough to give in and let my niece play with my Dream Castle and a few ponies.  I was on edge the entire time watching her play.  Only a few ponies was never enough either.  I'd leave and come back and more ponies would be taken off my shelf.

My niece is spoiled too.  She's growing up more and she's becoming slightly more mature in some ways but not in others.  She pretty much does what she wants when she wants to do it.  You tell her she can't do that and she goes and does it anyway when she thinks you're not looking.  I don't think she looks at me as an adult either.  I'm 32 but look like I'm in my mid to late teens.

I don't want kids either and my reasons are mostly selfish but also for the sake of a potential child, such as being woken up several times a night for feedings or changing diapers. I get cranky if I don't get a full night's sleep and my cat usually keeps me awake most nights to lay next to me when I'm in the perfect sleeping position.  I wouldn't want to be a cranky Mom.  I can't stand tantrums and kids who are spoiled brats because they're parents just can't say no, no matter what it costs to other people.

Also, as most of us I get defensive about my ponies and pretty much everything in my room. 

We're in the process of moving, but we've recently showed our house to tons of people, through appointments and a couple of open houses.  We had to be out of the house during those times while the realtor showed the house.  In the back of my mind I worried that the strangers who entered out house had kids and they let their kids go at my pony stuff to keep them busy while the parents looked at the house.  Or, someone would try to sneak away with one my ponies, putting it in their pocket or something.  Luckily that didn't happen.  :biggrin:
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: FarDreamer on August 26, 2016, 09:35:21 PM
If I had Kids they wouldn´t be able to play with my Collection.

It´s harder to put up rules for other peoples kids but in my home my rules. :)

They sure as heck wouldn't be touching my G1's, thank you very much.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: starrypawz on August 27, 2016, 12:07:34 AM
How terrible. Kids need boundaries and "do not touch" means do not touch" not "go ahead and play with it." It seems like a lot of parents don't teach their kids to respect other people's belongings or things.


This story reminds me of when I was growing up we had some people over and I was trying to play with the older girl and the younger girl at the same time. The younger one broke the leg off of one of my Ariel dolls (I only had two Ariels) because she pulled her leg out of the socket. I told my parents and her mom about the younger girl breaking my doll (I was usually very careful with my toys so it was big deal to me that my doll was broken.) Her mom said she was sorry but didn't even offer to replace my Ariel or at least pay for me to get another doll. My dad tried to fix her but my doll couldn't sit down anymore. I was young but I think it was at the age where you should/would know not to take other people's stuff.


Ponyfan

Oh this reminds me of something that happened to me in school. I had this toy horse, can't remember the brand it wasn't MLP but some sort of hard plastic blue pony with moveable legs. I can't quite remember how it happened but short version a boy in my class got a hole of it and pulled it around enough to break one of the legs off and I can't remember if he got in trouble for it or something but I was not happy.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Roseprincess1 on August 27, 2016, 05:25:31 AM
I dunno about this but here goes...
Personally... I love kids. I baby sit for the neighbor's little girl Miss Ellie and she is fine and dandy.
She's usually too awestruck by my collection to actually wanna play and mostly is just like @@.
She is totally a sweet child and if she asked i would let her see them because I know she is very gentle
and respectful.
I've even let the lil booger borrow my EAH and Star Darling books. (Her mom was over the moon over this cus the lil monster wasnt much of a reader until i handed her something she liked.. Hehe she is now eyeballing my star wars books while i grin evily as i get another EU convert!) And she took very good care of them.. not a scratch or a stain any where.
So i know kids can be trusted with collections if they are raised right by their parents. I've known miss ellies father since i was a kid and he is a great guy, so i know she has had the best of raising.
then there were my sisters DEMON spawn.
Back in 2010..my sister got kicked out of her apparment in daytona florida. My mom was still alive at that point as as with always... she gave into my sister.
Next thing i know... my sister, her husband, and their monsters are sleeping on the living room floor( at this point its still my parents house.. But i had moved back home after my dad's open heart and when her cancer started coming back to help out).
Now at the time i had not started collecting ponies yet.. but i did still collect transformers.. and had left my knock off leo breaker on MY desk down stairs.  Mom snatched him up off the desk and the next thing i know my poor leo is in about 200 pieces on the floor.
Then a few days later(it was near christmas) the kids got into their christmas presents early.. and got into mine as well.. Why mom left them down stairs i will never know... but i come around the corner and they are into theirs already and the powerglide i had asked for was again.. all over the floor in about 200 bits.
The next day my brother in law got mad at me and proceeded to inform his and my sisters children that their "Greedy" aunt had a whole toy collection up stairs  just for the taking.
I put my foot down and informed my mom.. either you put a lock on my loft this instant.. or you and dad can fend for your selves with these yahoos.
I was never able to repair my poor leobreaker but was able to save my power glide.
And all the while that vile man my sister shared her life with would use the Excuse "But Rose they ARE TOYS.. they ARE made to be played with".
Maybe they are... but these children were violently destructive.
and their idea of "Play" was "lets see how quickly we can dismantle said thing".
So while i am all for gentle kids enjoying my collections with me.. there have to be limits.
Saying something is "a toy" and is "made to be played with" are often excuses people come up with to allow their demon spawn free issue to destroy what ever suits them.
I think there need to be limits.. and when those l imits are passed there need to be reactions other wise things get out of hand and people get hurt.
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: frizzycat on August 27, 2016, 06:03:11 AM
It seems what i said created a little debate, so i'll precise what i think.I'm not saying we should give a Rapunzel to the first child that enters our room.I'm just saying that i think that if you know the child and know she is careful, completely forbid her to touch any ponies (even the ones that aren't even slightly rare) will do more bad than good.But when i let children play with my ponies i always watch them to prevent anything going wrong.

I work with kids, and I quite like them. That said, I disagree. I can't see that telling a child you know that some of your things are off limits be detrimental to them. Perhaps the key lies in the wording. Rather than saying, "You can't touch them, you might break them" saying something like "These are very special things and are just for looking at" would make the child feel less like you are judging THEM and more that those ponies are super special and need to be treated with respect.

Children need to learn to respect the belongings and boundaries of other people. Letting children have something just because 'it's a toy and toys are made for kids' does more harm than good. They are not learning to treat the belongings of others with respect. A lot of the kids I work with will recognise that they do not have the right to take a toy belonging to another child when the other child says, "No". Why would reinforcing those same boundaries change when the other person is an adult?
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: FantasticFirefly on August 27, 2016, 09:21:30 AM
Quote
And all the while that vile man my sister shared her life with would use the Excuse "But Rose they ARE TOYS.. they ARE made to be played with".
Maybe they are... but these children were violently destructive.

Roseprincess1. No, they belonged to you. So they are whatever YOU say they are.

Quote
Children need to learn to respect the belongings and boundaries of other people. Letting children have something just because 'it's a toy and toys are made for kids' does more harm than good. They are not learning to treat the belongings of others with respect. A lot of the kids I work with will recognise that they do not have the right to take a toy belonging to another child when the other child says, "No". Why would reinforcing those same boundaries change when the other person is an adult?

Exactly. Having things that are off limits, and looking not touching (Skeen's melody is brilliantly clever! and a great way for teaching that concept to littles) does help children learn my things, your things, I have rules for my things, you have rules for your things.

The kids who are indulged and feel entitled to all their whims are being disabled by their parents. Those poor kids will be the ones NOBODY wants at their child's birthday party because the last party they were invited to they broke a present and made the birthday girl cry, for a sleepover, for a visit. And, knowing two people very very well raised this way it's stunted them in adulthood. (funny, both were the baby sibling that got free rein of the eldest siblings things to ruin or break without consequence) They are unable keep friends, those are temporary until those friends realize they keep being used and leave. They don't consider the boundaries or feelings of other people. everything is about how it affects them. It's created employment issues for both. Both see no problem "borrowing" something and losing it, damaging it etc. it will not be replaced. and money "borrowed" well, that was a gift right? that will never be repaid. They only do or attend events that have something in it for them, yet demand others to do what they want, when they want it. It's rather sad, and they're both unhappy often.

Now. in the toy collecting world- there's been a couple folks who HAVE gone the other extreme. Their collection is claimed to belong to the child, in the child's room, more items are added to the child's Christmas list for friends/family to buy, the kids are used at toy-shows to try and get better prices from vendors. but all those things are locked up out of reach and really it's the collection (and passion) of either mom or dad. go there and the kid doesn't have things THEY own or play with or enjoy, if the child says they would love an XYZ the parent doesn't want to collect- well, it's never being bought. (so again, horribly unfair and unhealthy for the child)
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Purpleglasses on August 27, 2016, 09:00:02 PM
It seems what i said created a little debate, so i'll precise what i think.I'm not saying we should give a Rapunzel to the first child that enters our room.I'm just saying that i think that if you know the child and know she is careful, completely forbid her to touch any ponies (even the ones that aren't even slightly rare) will do more bad than good.But when i let children play with my ponies i always watch them to prevent anything going wrong.

I work with kids, and I quite like them. That said, I disagree. I can't see that telling a child you know that some of your things are off limits be detrimental to them. Perhaps the key lies in the wording. Rather than saying, "You can't touch them, you might break them" saying something like "These are very special things and are just for looking at" would make the child feel less like you are judging THEM and more that those ponies are super special and need to be treated with respect.

Children need to learn to respect the belongings and boundaries of other people. Letting children have something just because 'it's a toy and toys are made for kids' does more harm than good. They are not learning to treat the belongings of others with respect. A lot of the kids I work with will recognise that they do not have the right to take a toy belonging to another child when the other child says, "No". Why would reinforcing those same boundaries change when the other person is an adult?

This is what I was trying to say! The adult's (and other kids') boundaries and property must be respected. It's just that it makes sense to me that the kid would want to play with the ponies and ask to play with them because they are toys, not that the ponies being toys means they do not deserve to be respected as someone else's property or must be given to the kid. (There are some real horror stories in here - the poster who talks about her brother in law encouraging his kids to damage her stuff to get at her personally is dealing with a very unkind person. In addition, so many people in this thread have great strategies for enforcing rules around their collection that are firm but still respect the kids! The ponies on the ground rhyme is too cute.) But I don't think the kid in the first story was spoiled or bad for just asking. She (initially) has no greater awareness of what the ponies are or why they are special or important to their owner, or that she might damage them. Now as adults, its our job to enforce these things so that they can be and grow into kind people who respect others. When someone asks, you can always say no.

Please, ask the adults in your life to ensure that their kids respect you and your property. You have a right to have your boundaries respected. But  a kid isn't wrong if their fist response to seeing a toy is to want to play with it, even if they find out they can't. Ponies were literally designed to be enticing to kids, and the fact that we all want them even as adults is a testament to how well the designers accomplished this.


 I was highly uncomfortable and opted out of doing anything that involved an adult looming over me anxious and watching that I didn't damage something of theirs or hurt myself. (think about it- it really wouldn't be fun to "play" like that now would it?) The toybox I do have handy to occupy friend's kids- pretty much go wild within reason (like no throwing them at people, or lighting them on fire, or using the crayons to scribble on the wall or couch) but if playing involves smacking two toys together repeatedly- sure. have fun. oh the windshield got cracked on the hot wheel? ok. guess I know what I'm getting at the thrift next time some kids are gentle, some are not and not because they're "brats" some kids don't have well developed fine motor skills. And the kids who DO behave like brats shouldn't be hated. "everything is mine if I want it" kids are still innocent. They learned from the people raising them and setting the rules at home- so direct the anger at the source.

This is an excellent point!
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: Galactica on September 08, 2016, 04:01:27 PM
I definitely think and have seen that it is a GOOD thing to set boundries for kids and ESPECIALLY to teach them to respect other people's things.

Otherwise I think parents are setting their kids up to be disliked by other kids and by other adults and by the world in general. 

I like skeen's rhyme a lot- totally going to use that...
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: h1m3. on September 10, 2016, 05:20:18 AM
Kids needs boundaries and I am kinda shocked sometimes when parents keeps asking their mini kids like 3-5yo everything like what do you want to eat, which bathrobe you want to use, do you wanna do this or that and that.  Like hey the kids is so small that he doesn't need to decide everything and I am pretty sure he is pleased if he gets just food and some bathrobe after bath etc. Later on it will be a problem if kid has always eaten pancakes but in school there is none. I also think it is easier for the child itself they know that they can't do always what they want cause in school/work etc it won't work that way.

I got box full of ponies in my room some more HTF than others. These ponies need basic cleaning before I put them on my shelves (and I need new shelf too so ponies have waited there long time :() My nephew who is turning 3yo always ask before touching those ponies. I usually let him cause all he does is carries them around and I will need to clean them anyway so little bit sticky fingers aren't that big of a problem (but I do clean his hands before he can touch them :D). Those ponies that are already in shelves he can't reach. But he has been good kid and always asked (now that he can talk and is interested on them) if he can play with ponies. Luckily in my case he likes more my bling jewelry ;) He knows already he needs to ask before taking some of my stuff :P
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: lovesbabysquirmy on September 10, 2016, 08:43:41 AM
Kids needs boundaries and I am kinda shocked sometimes when parents keeps asking their mini kids like 3-5yo everything like what do you want to eat, which bathrobe you want to use, do you wanna do this or that and that.  Like hey the kids is so small that he doesn't need to decide everything and I am pretty sure he is pleased if he gets just food and some bathrobe after bath etc. Later on it will be a problem if kid has always eaten pancakes but in school there is none. I also think it is easier for the child itself they know that they can't do always what they want cause in school/work etc it won't work that way.

Those are reasonable things to give children choices about - they HAVE to eat, they HAVE to dress, they HAVE to play.  If they learn to make healthy choices and have life balance, that is what you looking for in teaching them how to manage themselves.

Setting boundaries about other people's things?  That's not a choice or a preference, it is a hard-set rule that children MUST learn. 
Title: Re: Visit from my colleague and spoiled granddaughter wanted to play with my ponys!
Post by: josiekat on September 10, 2016, 09:20:59 AM
Personally, I would have let her play with anything that wasn't in a box. But that's just me. They are toys first. But she does sound like she is given a little more range than she should be.
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