Spoiler
Up for bids is a Sad, depressed, lonely MLP Pony from a broken home poor
little pony I found down in my basement from a home that is sad and broken poor. depressed
Being a manly man, I never played with girls toys (Except my Alladin and jasmin dolls, but I needed him so he could fend off Mc Hammer who kept trying to steal her clothes. I told him he didn't need to put on her outfits when he was looking so fly in his purple jumpsuit, but he never listens. She'd yell "Hammer, don't hurt em!" but he would give Alladin the beatdown anyway. Hamma don't care, ya know?
Its surprising because he (Alladin) has a flying carpet, but its always flying off to go shopping on the internet with the monkey. They don't need to be on the internet, they don't even have jobs or a computer. I dont even.
Anyway, this little pony has had a rough life, livin in my basement for all these years.
I went down to see what was up and she told me she needed a few bucks to get back on her feet (hooves), so I asked her what five bucks would get me. She says "a story". I took the five out of my pocket (I dont' even have pockets)(sometimes if i drink too much milk my arms dissapear) and handed it to her and the storie begens...
So she went on to tell me about back when she was just a boy, her parents would fight all the time and that one day daddy came home and caught mommy with the Mc Hammer (he gets around) and that mommy got preggo and ended up having puppies. (like a record, oh) Dad was mad and sold her into pony slavery to pay the spagetti billz them new PUP-PEPS are gonna be runnan up, so she had to go work in the furby factory. This was the 90s.
Well luck would have it that due to Y2k, the furbies gained sentience and started a massive race war with the RC car factory and not many survived. This is in the 2000s Furbys are strong, but do not to well in race cars since their arms aretiny and they can't hold their little beer bottles and drive at the sametime.
Nooh-lah Hoo-Nay is furbish for AVENGE ME. =0
I actually don't remember where I was going with this OH YEAH, so she ended up getting a job at the local pizza resturant, but that didn't work out.
Like not at all, lol.
So she got one of those fancy phone operator jobs. Not like, a doctor that operates, you can't do that over the phone what are you even saying right now
So shes like this cleo sorcerer phone lady, and shes telling fortunes.
Everything is going fantastic until that one day.
Oh yeah, that day.
Pony: "Hello! Pony cleo speaking! How mah i halp u dear?
HAMMER: "Baby I miss u, lets get back together"
Pony: "I don't know babe, we'd have some rough times, I don't think thats a good idea"
Hammer: "TOO BAD, I'M RIGHT BEHIND U"
Hammer st8 outta no where, like a bat outta hell-o, its time for jello, lets get some mello yello, have a party, eat some smarties, bake a cake just as fast as u can, cuz i'm da man, hammer-san
All of a sudden he had crazy anime eyes (No one had anime eyes in the
90s, anime wasn't even real yet, srsly) and he started crying as he put the pretty pony in a burlap sack.
Pony: "noOOOOOOOOO, this is not good, i am in bag now"
Hammer: Ha ha ha, I've got you now! In the bag. Is mine. bag
Pony: pls let me free, i promise i won't ever take u for gtranted, i miss sorry adn then go okay?
Hammer gets in his jet pack and flys underwater (this is the safest
place if asteroids strike unless it gets cold then its hard water and
you can get trapped inside the ice cubes and thats no good (unles ur into that tee hee
Hammer: Ha! the sasteroids are gone, you can't get me that easy you, think! jej
So his jetpack is now become sProtsCar, it go'll fast because red.
Hammer: I see a bunch of houses, I ma throughing this bag through a
windowHA HAH!
hE THROWS
Pony: nooooooooooooo
years pass, then days, then months, then 2nds.
Its now years ago later, tommor w happens:
And thats it. so thats why my basemtn window was broken, and thats why the pony was in my basemtn. and thats why free bag.
so basically she's been down in my downstairs playuing phasntasy star online, stealing my wifi and i'm pretty upset, but I can let bigones be bygons since she seems like a pretty cool guy after all.
She doesn't ahve to go home, but she can't stay here. My girlfiend might get jealous and kick me out, steal my house and take the kids. I dont eve have kids, but I dont want her to take them, because then i'll have negative kids, and i'll have to have some just to break even, so lets just not go there. my grlfriend hits me :/
Anyway, if you win this auction, you'll be winning this pretty little pony. Shes cool! She'll probably not help you pay your rent, she seems pretty chill, but theres a good chance she's just going to mooch off of u, and thats fine, if thats what your'e into.
But I dunno, I mean its cool and all that shes a pony but she doesn't move hewr mouth when she talks, she just sits completly still and stares.
Its actually kind of creepy, I mean, if shes good at anything, its being
completly still and silent. You can hear her talking if you alwaysready have voices in your head.
I dont know if its actually her or i'm just losing it, but hey! for the money its still pretty sweet to have your own blue pony
she really needs to comb her hair tho, for real. i mean shhhhhhh, get it 2gether pny, pls. everyones staring so take care of ursefl.
one of thise days shes going to want to go and visit her parents probably so see hre puppy brothers and siters, but thats on you.
i hoep u win the auction, good luck, hugs and kisses, xoxoxoxoxo tic tak toe, i win. luv u! not in that weigh, but u kno, plutonimumonicLLY
ALso, free shipping to anywhere in the Utined States, no international shipping, shes afrain of plains,
This auction if for 1 toy pony, u treat her well okay?