The MLP Arena
TCB => Trader & Shipping Support => Topic started by: svleonard on November 03, 2013, 12:04:01 PM
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I sent the following message to the seller anniemichelleplanet asking if the G1 Trickles she had for sale had any cancer spots.
My message to her:
Dear anniemichelleplanet,
Does this pony have any cancer spots, pindot mold, or discoloration?
Thank you,
- svleonard
Her response:
Dear svleonard,
Did you really just type cancer? Have so consideration for others. my grand mother has cancer and to toss that around is shocking. go away.
- anniemichelleplanet
She has 100% feedback, and she seems to have a lot of vintage ponies for sale. However, her unprofessional attitude and rude tone have raised red flags for me. Also, she never did answer my question. I just wanted to warn people; if you message her asking about cancer spots, you might get an ugly reply!
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Does she appear to be a collector? The turn of phrase might seem weird to someone who's not aware what it means with regards to pony collecting.
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I don't think she's a collector, because there were also some wrong things in the listing. However, she does have a large amount of vintage ponies for sale. How am I supposed to know if she isn't familiar with common collector's jargon? I ask about cancer spots all the time, and I'm never gotten a response like this.
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Wow, even if you were not a collector and confused by the lingo snapping back like that is not professional at all.
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I think it just shocked and offended her, given the situation with her grandmother. Try apologizing for the unintended offense, and just explain that "cancer" is a term that collectors use to describe the brown spots that form as the plastic ages and begins to break down. Confetti is particularly prone to them.
Yeah, maybe she was quick to take offense, but try to see things from her perspective, and explain your own point of view.
Edit: Oops, you said Trickles, not Confetti.
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I think it just shocked and offended her, given the situation with her grandmother. Try apologizing for the unintended offense, and just explain that "cancer" is a term that collectors use to describe the brown spots that form as the plastic ages and begins to break down. Confetti is particularly prone to them.
Yeah, maybe she was quick to take offense, but try to see things from her perspective, and explain your own point of view.
I'm going to agree with Kelly here. The term pony cancer is one I myself try not to use much outside of this forum. I typically try to call them age spots or something else. She did snap, but I can see how a non pony collector with that background would take that offensively. I would also suggest explaining and apologizing.
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I think it just shocked and offended her, given the situation with her grandmother. Try apologizing for the unintended offense, and just explain that "cancer" is a term that collectors use to describe the brown spots that form as the plastic ages and begins to break down. Confetti is particularly prone to them.
Yeah, maybe she was quick to take offense, but try to see things from her perspective, and explain your own point of view.
I'm going to agree with Kelly here. The term pony cancer is one I myself try not to use much outside of this forum. I typically try to call them age spots or something else. She did snap, but I can see how a non pony collector with that background would take that offensively. I would also suggest explaining and apologizing.
Agree too... I always say age spots or brown spots - that way, even a non-collector would know what a brown spot is... I've never actually thought that it would be offensive to someone (saying "cancer") - but, I just don't do it myself because I doubt most people would know what that is in general... but, well... what can you do. Some people are more sensitive, it was an honest misunderstanding... :huh:
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Wow, very rude to a potential customer! I would not deal with her because she apparently doesn't value customers.
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Wow, that does seem really rude, even assuming she's really sensitive about cancer. My Grandma died of cancer and I don't get offended at the term for ponies. Maybe it's due to my familiarity to it, I don't know. Still, if you're not sure of the collector jargon, that was a rude way to respond. And if she's selling so many ponies and such I'm actually surprised she hadn't come across this term before. Sorry you got such a rude response. :hug: It might help to explain to her what the term means and that you didn't mean to offend, but I honestly don't think I'd bother.
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I'd say it might have been something with a very emotional charge to them. We don't know what the effect of their sick relative has had on their life and someone using the term in such an offhanded manner might have made them react differently than they normally would. Based off one instance I would go with having stumbled into an emotional minefield that caused them to react in such a manner rather than any potential fishiness. It would also explain why they wouldn't care about driving off a potential customer as highly charged emotions could easily push them into the mindset of "I don't want anything to do with someone like that!"
Of course they could just be using it as a way to dodge the question, but with the one point of data I'd give the benefit of the doubt of it being an emotional response from someone deeply affected rather than one of a nutjob.
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I would also try to explain and tell her that you didn't mean any harm. I am also very careful whenever I use the word Cancer Spots, I only use it when I am sure of the fact that I'm dealing with another collector. My Grandmother had cancer years back, but I don't get offended when anybody uses the word cancer. Where I come from, it's even very common for the youth to use it as a swearword, which is terrible..
When I told my mom about cancer spots, :lol:
"Ooh no, this pony has cancer!"
"It's made out of plastic???!"
"Umm, it's a term, for these brown spots"
"Make sure to never use it outside of this house, people might think your insane"
:P
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Based on the fact that her grandmother has cancer and she may very well be unfarmiliar with the term, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and explain what pony cancer is and tell her it's a collector term, that you didn't mean to offend and am very sorry to hear of her grandmother's illness :huh: You don't have to buy from her if you don't want to, just smooth things over so she doesn't think you're deliberately being insensitive.
I can understand people who don't know the term being sensitive about it's use concerning inanimate objects (MLP), especially if a relative is currently ill or has recently died of cancer :( My father died of cancer 14 years ago and if I didn't know this term or much about ponies, I might have gotten offended too, especially if it was around the time of his diagnosis or recently after he died, since cancer is a horrible disease :(
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I think it just shocked and offended her, given the situation with her grandmother. Try apologizing for the unintended offense, and just explain that "cancer" is a term that collectors use to describe the brown spots that form as the plastic ages and begins to break down. Confetti is particularly prone to them.
Yeah, maybe she was quick to take offense, but try to see things from her perspective, and explain your own point of view.
I'm going to agree with Kelly here. The term pony cancer is one I myself try not to use much outside of this forum. I typically try to call them age spots or something else. She did snap, but I can see how a non pony collector with that background would take that offensively. I would also suggest explaining and apologizing.
I am going to have to agree also. I had a run in with someone a couple years back but I was the seller. They were quite offended I used the term in my description. I did try and explain but they still didn't seem to understand. I then just quit using the term in my listings to prevent future upsets. It wasn't worth another fall out with a potential customer.
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I think it just shocked and offended her, given the situation with her grandmother. Try apologizing for the unintended offense, and just explain that "cancer" is a term that collectors use to describe the brown spots that form as the plastic ages and begins to break down. Confetti is particularly prone to them.
Yeah, maybe she was quick to take offense, but try to see things from her perspective, and explain your own point of view.
I'm going to agree with Kelly here. The term pony cancer is one I myself try not to use much outside of this forum. I typically try to call them age spots or something else. She did snap, but I can see how a non pony collector with that background would take that offensively. I would also suggest explaining and apologizing.
I am going to have to agree also. I had a run in with someone a couple years back but I was the seller. They were quite offended I used the term in my description. I did try and explain but they still didn't seem to understand. I then just quit using the term in my listings to prevent future upsets. It wasn't worth another fall out with a potential customer.
I agree as well ^^ she probably just reacted badly due to it being a sore subject (since a close relative is sick) and not understanding how collectors use the term :yikes: . Apologising and explaining may help this seller calm down a bit and be more understanding or less likely to freak out if other collectors ask her about pony cancer spots in the future.
Like other people here I now tend to just use the terms brown spots or brown splodges or brown marks etc to ask other non pony collectors/sellers about cancer spots ;)
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Thanks, guys. I will try to use the term age spots from now on. I realize that calling her a nutjob is pretty harsh; I was just angry because I felt like I had simply asked a legitimate question, and instead of an answer, I get a very ugly, unprofessional response.
I did respond to her message, explaining what I meant by "cancer" and stating that I did not mean to offend. I did not respond to her tone or her petulant "go away" in kind, although it took a lot of self restraint not to! Now I have no desire to do business with this seller, even if the Trickes (my grail) is mint!
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Wow.... how incredibly rude! I can only hope that her terrible attitude loses her some customers... :(
Seriously... her Grandma and the internet are totally separate topics. If she can't cope with people on Ebay asking questions about item condition without going off the deep end about a family loss, then she needs to put her shop on "vacation" and go find a grief counselor.
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I can sort of see where she's coming from...a lot of words (particularly those to do with illness and disability) are often used to describe relatively mild things when their actual meaning is often very serious and painful for people, and this can cause people to be offended and upset by their flippant use. That doesn't forgive her rudeness, but I can understand why she might have been upset and so quick to get aggressive by this usage of the word especially as she's not a collector herself and likely doesn't know what you meant by it.
I admit it took a while of me being into ponies to realise what people actually meant when they described a pony as having "cancer", and I think "age spots" has a much clearer meaning and is less likely to cause upset and confusion with non-collectors and people whom have suffered because of actual cancer :)
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I think when dealing with sellers/employees, people tend to forget they're people too, with emotions and hangups. This is obviously a very emotional subject for her right now, and understandably. She lashed out--it's not ideal, but it is human.
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Wow that is crazy!!
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I think when dealing with sellers/employees, people tend to forget they're people too, with emotions and hangups. This is obviously a very emotional subject for her right now, and understandably. She lashed out--it's not ideal, but it is human.
^ This. We all don't react the same way, some people throw around words people find offensive all the time as nicknames or slang... "pony cancer" is a "jargon" term for collectors but, jargon does not translate to the lay-person.
I would just move on... but I also personally wouldn't throw around "cancer" so freely either... heck it's not even descriptive to someone outside the community. :huh:
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Um don't buy from her! Weird!!!!!
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Speaking as the Queen of non-pc here - If I had not known that term being used I would have weirded out by your email too. Ponies might be important to us, but when it comes to life and death you can see why it shouldn't be thrown around so lightly.
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Wow.... how incredibly rude! I can only hope that her terrible attitude loses her some customers... :(
Seriously... her Grandma and the internet are totally separate topics. If she can't cope with people on Ebay asking questions about item condition without going off the deep end about a family loss, then she needs to put her shop on "vacation" and go find a grief counselor.
This is how I feel too.
I've had those closest to me die of cancer and my grandmother is dying of it now - if i can't handle myself and restrain myself from lashing out on others, then I don't sell on the internet.
Not to mention that cancer as an illness is not even the primary meaning of the word :S
I understand that we are all human, but so is svleonard who completely didn't deserve an answer like that out of the blue.
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Is she the one that had super high shipping prices? If so she wanted 17$ to ship one G2 and another 11$ for a 2nd G2 :shocked:
I can't afford that!
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Personally I have always found the term "cancer" in ponies to be in bad taste... I don't think I've ever used it myself. Plus everyone has different opinions on what it actually describes (same as "smooze"), so it's confusing at best.
Maybe the seller over reacted, but if she's currently dealing with cancer in her family, I can easily see how she'd be offended!
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The first time I heard someone use the term "cancer" referring to ponies, I had no idea what they were talking about! I thought maybe the pony had weird lumps or something. So, like others have suggested, they probably just didn't know it was a pony term.
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Wow.... how incredibly rude! I can only hope that her terrible attitude loses her some customers... :(
Seriously... her Grandma and the internet are totally separate topics. If she can't cope with people on Ebay asking questions about item condition without going off the deep end about a family loss, then she needs to put her shop on "vacation" and go find a grief counselor.
This is how I feel too.
I've had those closest to me die of cancer and my grandmother is dying of it now - if i can't handle myself and restrain myself from lashing out on others, then I don't sell on the internet.
Not to mention that cancer as an illness is not even the primary meaning of the word :S
I understand that we are all human, but so is svleonard who completely didn't deserve an answer like that out of the blue.
*super pony hugs*
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I don't ever ask if a pony has cancer. I just ask about brown spots. Most non collectors have no idea why you are using that word. I can totally understand the upset with the word now that I have gone through cancer with my dad. Its a touchy subject for many. Best to not use it unless you are with pony peeps. I don't think she needed to react that way, but people are hurting in this world and sometimes boldly let you know it in these ways. I think it is nice when a person in pain such as this is cut some slack. A caring nature can soothe the heart of many. I would probably write back and give well wishes for the grandmother and send some really nice heart felt thoughts her way. It never hurts to extend a kind gesture in the face of odd behavior. :) I know we don't deserve to be jumped on sometimes, but life happens.
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My father died from cancer, but I'm not going to jump down someone's throat if they use the term. I have as much cause as anyone to be offended by the word cancer, but I don't let it bother me.
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My dad is a cancer survivor and I would have to say the only way I would have a problem is if someone said asked if a pony had prostate cancer. I wouldn't flip out like that seller did but I would have a problem with someone saying a toy has prostate cancer.
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Is she the one that had super high shipping prices? If so she wanted 17$ to ship one G2 and another 11$ for a 2nd G2 :shocked:
I can't afford that!
I know she had $22 to ship a G1 sea pony and shell...I was interested but wasn't going to bid with that kind of shipping price!
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Let's keep this on topic, please.
While the seller was rude in some respects, it is not an all out brawl about how they conduct business.
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Personally I have always found the term "cancer" in ponies to be in bad taste... I don't think I've ever used it myself. Plus everyone has different opinions on what it actually describes (same as "smooze"), so it's confusing at best.
Maybe the seller over reacted, but if she's currently dealing with cancer in her family, I can easily see how she'd be offended!
This!
People react differently in circumstances like these. I agree she went a bit over the top, but considering the word isn't one that society really uses for age spots on a pony toy, I can see why she may have been offended.
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I think it just shocked and offended her, given the situation with her grandmother. Try apologizing for the unintended offense, and just explain that "cancer" is a term that collectors use to describe the brown spots that form as the plastic ages and begins to break down. Confetti is particularly prone to them.
Yeah, maybe she was quick to take offense, but try to see things from her perspective, and explain your own point of view.
I'm going to agree with Kelly here. The term pony cancer is one I myself try not to use much outside of this forum. I typically try to call them age spots or something else. She did snap, but I can see how a non pony collector with that background would take that offensively. I would also suggest explaining and apologizing.
I am going to have to agree also. I had a run in with someone a couple years back but I was the seller. They were quite offended I used the term in my description. I did try and explain but they still didn't seem to understand. I then just quit using the term in my listings to prevent future upsets. It wasn't worth another fall out with a potential customer.
I agree as well ^^ she probably just reacted badly due to it being a sore subject (since a close relative is sick) and not understanding how collectors use the term :yikes: . Apologising and explaining may help this seller calm down a bit and be more understanding or less likely to freak out if other collectors ask her about pony cancer spots in the future.
Like other people here I now tend to just use the terms brown spots or brown splodges or brown marks etc to ask other non pony collectors/sellers about cancer spots ;)
Agreed! And I think I will be careful to use that term in the future! Just I case it offends someone.
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Just one last thing because I don't want to beat a dead horse a bunch. I'm sure all of us have different varying relations or associations to cancer. I know I've lost my share or relatives to it. Like I said when I first heard the term here I was confused and kinda appalled. I've gotten used to it, and I haven't attacked anyone over it.
On the other hand my uncle gf has a daughter that has cancer and she is dying l. I don't get into their affairs and have had limited exposure to her daughter. I'm pretty sure if I mentioned ponies having cancer though she would punch my lights out.
Everyone has a different tolerance level and exposure. It's hard on the internet since we don't have that face to face interaction an don't know the people we are talking to that well. I think it's a bit unfair to say "well I have handled it this way and I'm fine". You might be but someone else is experiencing something totally different and probably doesn't handle grief the same way you do. Anyway not trying to just keep this going I'm done. I just agree with Shiro. Sometimes we forget the person on the other side of the screen is human and has thoughts and feelings of their own.
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It sucks that they were so rude, but I'd just like to point out that it's possible that they thought you were trolling, not realizing that it was an honest question about condition.
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I am going to lock this up. I think it's been discussed enough :)