The MLP Arena
TCB => Trader & Shipping Support => Topic started by: Sunshine on June 24, 2013, 11:42:40 AM
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So, I'm having kind of a weird issue with a well known person on the Arena, and I don't have anything negative to say about them. I do not want this person to feel like I'm trying to "turn the community" on them. I've done trades and sales with them before and have absolutely no complaints, but I'm just not sure how to further handle this current situation.
Here's the backstory - they contacted me about a pony I had (for a swap, but I didn't know it was for a swap...) and we started to talk about a trade. The other person had a pony I wanted, but its value was not equal to the pony she wanted from me, so she offered another pony to trade for the one, and offered to let me buy the cheaper pony and she'd just send it in the trade package.
Well, my fault, I got busy and wasn't able to respond to her message for a couple of days, but I had already sent the money for the cheaper pony that I was going to buy. When I contacted her again, she did not need the trade pony from me anymore... so (and this is where my details get foggy...).. so the international shipping for the single pony made that cheap pony really expensive... so I did not want to buy her anymore... (I mean the trade fell apart... so, I don't see why it's a surprise that the sale would probably not work either since that was more of a "side" thing than the "main" trade)... but for some reason (again... foggy here), I didn't get my initial money back and they told me they would send it on their own dime, just what I paid them for the pony initially, and the next time they needed a pony from me, that I would send for "free" (out of my own pocket).
That was totally fine by me and I've never forgotten about that agreement, and totally would honor it if they want something from me!
But... it's been like... months since this all happened, and I have no pony here. I messaged them a few weeks ago (twice, because I got no response from the first message I sent) and said something like - "still haven't gotten this pony, maybe if you forgot to send it you could just refund me or you could let me know when you posted her?"
And basically, every time I bring it up I feel like I'm getting a guilt trip... "I sent her on my own dime and it can take a very long time for stuff from overseas, I don't know what to think anymore about this because it was going good and now you ask for your money back..." etc -
BUT there is a language barrier! I know that, and I'm probably taking their words in a different way than they mean them... so I'm trying not to... pursue it I guess. It feels like I can't message this person anymore and ask about this pony...
Is this my fault though? I mean I didn't ask them to send it for free... I initially just wanted to be refunded since the trade fell apart, but then it all happened in this manner. So what should I do?
Again I am NOT putting this person on blast at all. As mentioned, I've done business with this person before and would again, regardless of this weird situation... but that's exactly what it is, a bit of a weird situtation... so I was hoping for some insight?
I do not want to mention any usernames because it's NOT necessary. This is NOT a bad seller, NOT a scammer, nothing like that at ALL. So please, anyone who reads this, understand that's not what I'm trying to get at or elude to.
But thanks in advance for any insights. :)
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Me, personally? I'd just let it go and move on. :)
Further thoughts:
If you know this person is a good trader/seller, then they probably sent it and it could be lost in the post. In my years of selling, trading, etc. I have had about 10 things lost from my end (out of 1000s), and about that many lost on their way to me. As long as there was proof of shipping, everything was usually cool. Nobody's fault. The one time I had tossed the receipt, I refunded AND sent a freebee. I wouldn't expect anyone to do that, but it was what I felt I should do for my mistake.
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Me, personally? I'd just let it go and move on. :)
Further thoughts:
If you know this person is a good trader/seller, then they probably sent it and it could be lost in the post. In my years of selling, trading, etc. I have had about 10 things lost from my end (out of 1000s), and about that many lost on their way to me. As long as there was proof of shipping, everything was usually cool. Nobody's fault. The one time I had tossed the receipt, I refunded AND sent a freebee. I wouldn't expect anyone to do that, but it was what I felt I should do for my mistake.
Yeah I kinda have and probably should completely...
The pony cost wasn't something that would break the bank anyway, I just kinda... wanted to know mostly if I need to buy another one of those ponies for my collection, lol...
But also, I personally feel I'm a good seller/trader and there have been times where there is just... one package that somehow doesn't get sent for a long time or... whatever. Just a human mistake, which is why I have no blame for them or anything like that.
but I get tired of asking myself what I should do, haha so I definitely wanted to hear others opinions. :) Thanks :hug:
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i know that language barrier thing! english is not my mothers language so i often have difficulties to communicate what i REALLY mean :) i often mean something as a joke and nobody gets it as we have different kinds of humor around the world :D
it doesnt sound too bad for me. if you know the seller you shouldnt be worried yet. i had some packages which took 3 months to arrive because they were missent to australia (austria != australia) :D
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I just want to make sure I am understanding this right? Did you initially send money for the pony, just minus the shipping cost? And in exchange because the trade/sale fell through that you would in the future send her an item she needed at equal value at some point minus shipping? If so then you have every right to inquiry where the pony maybe? It is basically in my eyes considered a transaction since money exchanged hands.
And :hug: you are not putting anyone on the spot, just asking a legitimate question.
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Thanks everyone for the posts!
Zora - I'm pretty sure that's exactly what's happening. She probably took my tone in a different way (like I was perturbed or angry about the situation and perhaps that I was demanding my money returned)- and I took her tone in a different way than she intended it... that's why I pretty much am... not trying to be rude or angry about it. I know also that typing words doesn't necessarily always convey the tone you want... :)
Ponylady - yes that's what happened. I paid the pony cost because we were trading other things so the other ponies were close in value, and also the shipping was close, we were just paying our own shipping for the trade, I just sent the money for the extra pony to be included with the parcel.
I'm not gonna press it for another few weeks, if I do again at all honestly, probably not until after the fair regardless, because I do know how long some things take, especially if they accidentally get re-routed or lost and either return to seller or eventually get to the buyer. That's again why I don't have any blame either... They said they had sent it and I have no reason to say they didn't. I fully believe 100% that the pony is SOMEWHERE out in the world right now! :P
And again, thanks - I just want to make sure everyone knows that if the seller happens to see this or post, that I am not trying to say anything bad about them, they didn't do anything wrong, I'm not angry or anything of the like... :)
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i think you should be asking where the pony is, I know some intl postage can take months but its actually quite rare for this to happen with the majority of intl parcels arriving in 2-3 weeks.
Also just because they have great feedback doesn't mean that they are exceptionally great traders always, I know of a few horror stories from sellers on the arena with great feedback : / I find if most people have a run in with someone with lots of good feedback they just tend not to leave feedback as its like they feel they will not be believed being the minority of people to say something negative about a person that most are happy with.
Also I think its fairly rude that they just didn't outright refund your money since they are the one that cancelled the trade so to speak
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Well again, the seller here didn't do anything wrong...
She did send the pony. The pony is out in the world... floating around between here and there... so, I don't think it's anything that she did. If anything it's just the post office, which is normally who is the one causing the issues we see in TS many times anyway...
So if I could write this about the post office, I would, but I can't message them and ask when the pony was sent (the post office, that is)... I can only contact the original seller.
I don't want to make this into a "thing" between me and the seller... unfortunately seems that the PM I got from them makes me think they're angry I asked about this...
I can't even say it again - I NEVER SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT THIS SELLER!! ...Seriously. Nothing. :huh:
I thought TS forum was here so that people in... situations could ask the community for support... not so that someone would think I'm trying to say bad things behind their back... :huh: I'm not trying to do that at all.
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I had a pony from Germany go missing for a couple of months- there was an even longer delay because my postal guy never left a slip so it was at the post office for a really long time. Finally I discovered that my seller had a tracking number- and tracking showed that it was at my post office! So I checked and there it was! Turns out the slip had been delivered to my neighbor :P
Anyway- just a suggestion- you might try calling your local post office - and explaining to them you have an international parcel and can they please check for it...
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Good idea Galatica...
I actually do call my local PO about issues with packages... not a lot - but recently I was talking to them frequently because we were trying to find a package that I had sent to the UK which got lost, and finally showed up again. I was just down there today getting packages out, I usually do let them know if I'm waiting for something specifically or have something odd/large that's being shipped to me... but didn't mention anything about this particularly when I was there today.
I live in a town of less than 300 people, so, we're all kind of on a first name basis with the one mailman and one post office worker-lady... they even know that most of my packages are My Little Ponies at this point so I'd hope they'd realize if they had something for me. Worth a call though, so I will put out a BOLO for a package from this sellers' country, just in case. :)
I'm not even all that concerned - the point of this was mostly to ask if I should even be bothering THEM about this anymore, because I really didn't want to be a nuisance to them when they had done this for me to be nice and everything like that... It's less about the pony and more about how I want to maintain a relationship with this seller because I really like them, have no complaints about them... but I don't want to be a pest to them, though I did want to know about the pony... :huh:
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I'm not even all that concerned - the point of this was mostly to ask if I should even be bothering THEM about this anymore, because I really didn't want to be a nuisance to them when they had done this for me to be nice and everything like that... It's less about the pony and more about how I want to maintain a relationship with this seller because I really like them, have no complaints about them... but I don't want to be a pest to them, though I did want to know about the pony... :huh:
I completely understand you feel bad and want to maintain a relationship but the fact of the matter is they do have your money :huh: And that to me is enough reason to be concerned and ask questions. Just because they may have good feedback or have been a long standing member here does not mean you have no reason to be concerned or ask questions.
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It is the sender's responsibility to make sure the parcel arrives. If this person did not mail it with tracking or any way for the recipient to find out information, it's unfair to say, "Too bad," and then forget about it. As you said, how do you know if a pony was even mailed at all? :(
If money was exchanged and there was no product received, you are owed a refund. The End.
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Good idea Galatica...
I actually do call my local PO about issues with packages... not a lot - but recently I was talking to them frequently because we were trying to find a package that I had sent to the UK which got lost, and finally showed up again. I was just down there today getting packages out, I usually do let them know if I'm waiting for something specifically or have something odd/large that's being shipped to me... but didn't mention anything about this particularly when I was there today.
I live in a town of less than 300 people, so, we're all kind of on a first name basis with the one mailman and one post office worker-lady... they even know that most of my packages are My Little Ponies at this point so I'd hope they'd realize if they had something for me. Worth a call though, so I will put out a BOLO for a package from this sellers' country, just in case. :)
That's very nice! The employees at my post office definitely do not know or care who I am, lol
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Good idea Galatica...
I actually do call my local PO about issues with packages... not a lot - but recently I was talking to them frequently because we were trying to find a package that I had sent to the UK which got lost, and finally showed up again. I was just down there today getting packages out, I usually do let them know if I'm waiting for something specifically or have something odd/large that's being shipped to me... but didn't mention anything about this particularly when I was there today.
I live in a town of less than 300 people, so, we're all kind of on a first name basis with the one mailman and one post office worker-lady... they even know that most of my packages are My Little Ponies at this point so I'd hope they'd realize if they had something for me. Worth a call though, so I will put out a BOLO for a package from this sellers' country, just in case. :)
That's very nice! The employees at my post office definitely do not know or care who I am, lol
That's definitely true of the post office in the big town that I live just outside of. I send mail out from that post office when I'm on campus and stuff, and they have hardly any idea who I am. When I was going frequently there was one lady who remembered me because we talked about goats one time, but otherwise, yeah, they don't know me from Eve...
I guess that's the nice thing about being in a small town... the not nice thing is that sometimes our small post office isn't equipped to handle all international situations (why I had such a hard time trying to locate my UK package)... literally our post office doesn't even have the international mailing stamp computerized, it's like a Carbon Copy type thing... lol which is why I typically mail anything international from the larger post office. They may not know me, but they're far more efficient, lol :) So, goods and bads of both types!
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Things like these tend to happen from time to time I guess. I had a package sent overseas a while back and it took over a month to arrive... Luckily, this was quite an expensive item so I had it tracked and the buyer could follow the package on it's long and very confusing trip around the world...
My point being, like you say yourself, that things sometimes take time to arrive. My very first pony as a grown-up took 3 months to arrive. I had considered her lost, so the joy of actually seeing her in the mail one day was just awesome!
And also, if you know this seller and have done business with her before I would just let it go. Unlike others that have answered in this thread I'm not completely in agreement that it is the sellers responsibility to make sure the item arrives. That is the post office responsibility. It is however, BOTH the buyer and the sellers responsibility how to deal with an item that is lost. But as long as you know that the pony was sent out (and the seller did all she could to make it arrive safely), any bad thoughts on the deal should go to the P.O. The seller has to put his/her trust in the mailman - just like the buyer does.
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Was it sent with tracking? Then I'd just ask again for the tracking number. Maybe also explain that you're not mad at them :) communication is everything!
I once had a Piccolo pony that I considered lost. I had sold it to Belgium and it didn't arrive for weeks. Nine months later I got a message from the buyer that it had arrived just the day before. It took NINE MONTHS. But in the end it found the way home :) So don't be too worried :hug:
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When I asked about if they could tell me when they shipped I go no response with a tracking number or anything...
I got kind of a harsh PM from them, so now I'm stuck here, sitting on my hands, waiting for this pony to show up, almost afraid to message them about it... it's really irking me honestly. I feel like David and Goliath, like I can't speak out because this is a person who's been around a long time and stuff...
My feelings are slowly changing, I was kissing a lot of butt earlier in this post but, to be honest, at the moment I'm annoyed. Send me proof of shipping or send me my money back. It shouldn't cause WWIII... right? I mean sheesh.
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You paid for the pony, it is your right to get the information regarding the shipping you want. I don't think that this is good behaviour, not to answer your question. If she is a good seller she should behave like one.
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Sunshine, I am going to please ask that you send me the member's name in a private PM.
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I refuse to name the sellers name on this thread (since they know who they are), but I know for a fact now that I'm not alone in dealing with this type of issue from this person... :huh: It's not something they do commonplace, and I still don't believe they have "bad seller practices" but, I just wanna know about when the pony was sent... :huh:
Ponylady - I will message you, I wanted to make a little note to you the last few days but I haven't had a chance. I also don't want to write something "nasty" about them when I'm feeling all uppity about it, so I've waited to be rational and calm. I'll PM you in a bit here, but, I still am sticking to my guns that I TRULY DO NOT THINK THIS PERSON IS A BAD SELLER! I just think I'm in a bad situation with a good seller... :huh:
^Honestly that's not butt kissing either...
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The refusal to give a tracking number, or say hey sorry I chose a cheaper shipping option without tracking, is what's bothering me the most. The mail taking a while with a pony is one thing. Refusing to keep your buyer in the loop with what's happening is quite another.
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Well since it's international there wouldn't have been tracking, but like I keep all my slips from the CN-22 forms we fill out for customs in the US, so that's got a Customs # on it, at least it would be something to say... "Hey, this is a number associated with your package, and it was sent on this date"?
I mean that's all I can usually give my international buyers if something happens, because most people don't want to be paying like $26 to ship a single pony with tracking unfortunately, which I completely understand...
Since the shipping was gratis, I just figured it'd be whatever equates to "First Class International"?
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Tracking here is an additional 2,50€ or 2,05€ or something like that. Not too much. And without it there is no shipping proof that Paypal would accept in case of a lost item. That's why I paid for tracking myself recently when I shipped something internationally.
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Ah, yes that's different than the USPS then... unfortunately, to add "registered mail" to anything it's an additional ~$13 on top of normal shipping, and I believe I can do only actual TRACKING if I send something Priority/Express International mail, which I have to Canada a few times, but it's always over $35 to do it in that manner. It's quite tough at least from the US to have tracking but, I suppose Paypal accepts out CN-22 forms as proof of shipment for USPS.
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Aw, that is much indeed :(
I hope you will get your pony soon. And don't be too patient with the seller, she really should give you shipping information :/
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Me personally I probably won't even bother sending any kind of pm to the seller... again. But at least not until after the pony fair, I kind of don't care so much anymore... because it's become such a hassle... :huh:
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I hope the mods can sort this out for you!
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Thanks LBS :heart:
I was talking to a new-found friend on PMs about such things, and I told them that... perhaps even if nothing happens, even if I never get my pony, and I don't bother with a refund (cause that's still not what this was all about - it was focusing on whether or not I should even make a fuss over it anymore or just let it ride out) - perhaps it'll just be a little tidbit of info they can stick in their mental filing cabinet and if something were to happen again and someone had an issue with this seller (which, I believe would be few and far between) that they could at least say to that next person, "You're not alone" type of thing... :huh:
Still not trying to attack the seller, or talk about them negatively behind their back. TS isn't for that.. and I wasn't trying to do that. I just had kind of a strange sort of rough response when I asked about when the pony had been sent, didn't really get a clear answer, and then was hesitant to even contact them again...
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I've had a few unfortunate interactions with members here who have ample feedback and have been here for a long time. As in, very unprofessional conduct, lack of communication, item not as described etc. Nothing ever escalated enough for me to leave bad feedback but I have definitely understood that great feedback does not 100% guarantee great service :S
It is true that we only have your side of the story here, but i'm unhappy with the way you've been treated, communication-wise, by that member. If it were an inexperienced member I could understand it, but if you say it isn't, this seems a bit lame.
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I appreciate that :hug:
I definitely don't think that I would even begin to think about leaving anything but positive feedback from this, no matter what, and not to kiss butt... but honestly, it wasn't like... a scam or a rip off or anything like that in my mind. The situation was just weird, as it was something they did to be "nice" and end the transaction but, that thing has not... happened or turned up... so, you can't look a gift horse in the mouth, ya know... and complain about something like... "You said you were going to do this for me and you didn't and now I'm mad"... I know there was money exchanged but it's not enough to make me feel angry towards them, cause I'm still not even angry!
I am just neutral on the whole thing... honestly. I'm not angry, I'm not happy obviously, but I'm like... neutral.
Interesting things have come to my attention however, because of me starting this thread, which... well, are interesting! ;)
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Ok, so it turns out that I've had issues with this member too (Sunshine confirmed it through PMs)
Again, nothing major so I never left feedback. Main issue was poor or non existent communication. :S and once I was unhappy with the service I also got a PM that was guilt tripping me rather than being helpful, but that was a long time ago and I was a newbie and this member had ton of feedback and whatnot, so I never said anything :S
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:hug:
Oh and just to clarify, I have not been like trolling around asking people about this person... so, I'm not going around saying anything through PMs that is bad... But if someone asks me if it was so-and-so and says they wonder because of issue x-y-z they had or did not have (believe me I've heard good stories in my pms regarding this seller too!), all I do is let them know that indeed it's the same person.
That's still why there's no names on this thread. Not necessary.
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Absolutely, I was the one who sent Sunshine a PM to inquire if it is the member I think it is.
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I hope your pony arrives ! You´re starting to scaring me, since I´m expecting a package to arrive from the other part of the world. But it´s normal to 1 or more months to arrive.
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I've had a few unfortunate interactions with members here who have ample feedback and have been here for a long time. As in, very unprofessional conduct, lack of communication, item not as described etc. Nothing ever escalated enough for me to leave bad feedback but I have definitely understood that great feedback does not 100% guarantee great service :S
is this about the live scorpions I sent to you? Don't be shy about speaking out.
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Hahaha :) No, considering the fact that it would be Icelanders who open such a package first (customs), and Icelanders are total cowards when it comes to any living things, so long as I could have seen their faces, I would have congratulated you ^^
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It's tough when problems are found with a well known seller. I often find that others come forward who were too afraid to voice their concerns for fear of community backlash or alienating an influential member.
The part that bothers me about all this is the... you owe me a favor later kind of limbo. I suppose it's because now you'd be forced to complete another transaction with someone that you have had some difficulty with. I'm sure the seller is a good person, but that's not the issue here. Well known and loved or not, the transaction has not been fulfilled and the communication has not been the best. I wouldn't want to owe a freebie to someone that I couldn't have a gentle, kind conversation with.
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It's tough when problems are found with a well known seller. I often find that others come forward who were too afraid to voice their concerns for fear of community backlash or alienating an influential member.
The part that bothers me about all this is the... you owe me a favor later kind of limbo. I suppose it's because now you'd be forced to complete another transaction with someone that you have had some difficulty with. I'm sure the seller is a good person, but that's not the issue here. Well known and loved or not, the transaction has not been fulfilled and the communication has not been the best. I wouldn't want to owe a freebie to someone that I couldn't have a gentle, kind conversation with.
I mean, in my mind... if that pony doesn't show up, I don't know if I can honor our agreement... one side wasn't fulfilled (yet?)
I'm so over this... but then, today I got a message from the seller...
Let me be clear these are the ONLY words, so I'm sure she's thoroughly ticked because of all the "waves" I might be causing but...
"Your parcel still has these status:
Origin Post is Preparing Shipment"
No tracking number for me or anything, just those words. No Hi or bye (haha, really pissed at me! lol) but why the heck no tracking number? Let me look it up myself? I dunno if I specifically asked about what my tracking number was but I did ask for what date it was shipped and "about X weeks ago" isn't... good enough. I keep records now, because I had an issue with a lost package, so I don't see why a really well known, high-volume seller would not do the same? :huh:
Also, what does that mean? Does that mean her post still has it? So could she maybe go to the post and get it? :huh: I can't get it from that post office... an ocean away from me... so where do we go from here? :huh:
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Hmm my inclination would be perhaps that they didn't send it when they said they did and if there is tracking they don't want to give it to you because then you could prove they were not honest about when they send it. But I am not sure.
I've been in similar situations and had friends who have had the same kind of problem as you. I think you've been incredibly polite about it and I don't think there is much more you can do. The seller is angry and isn't wanting to communicate with you. Since you have left it anonymous you haven't created any waves for them.
What pony was it? Maybe I can help you find it to make you feel whole again without having to spend more $.
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Sarah - that's what I was hoping, this thread is anonymous, remained anonymous except for the fact that Vinter also was brave enough to say they had an issue with said person too, again, no divulging names, and I don't intend to. The mods can do what they please, I just wanted to report the latest, and get clarification on that mailing "code" because I don't... truly understand what it means? :)
But thank you hun, I've tried to be positive and amicable, I'm not sending nasty PMs to the seller or the mods complaining, I'm trying to make sure anything I do say is rational and not out of haste or annoyance.
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Just for the record the member in question is not a Mod and the Mods are fully aware of the on going situation here. We are handling it privately at this time.
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Best wishes Sunshine!
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Yeah, I did what I could and talked to ponylady. I don't think it needs to be a public thing at all... that's still why I kept anonymity with everything, as best I could... I know some things I posted allowed others to guess who it was but I still think the seller deserves protection. I told ponylady that I still truly don't think that person needs to be put on blast, on the bad seller/trade list, on a watch list, anything like that...
I trust in the mods handling everything and since I'm pretty much over it, I don't think they need to be all crazy aggressive with the situation either. :)