The MLP Arena

Pony Talk => MLP Nirvana => Topic started by: ponindepedenza! on November 09, 2012, 12:39:23 AM

Title: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: ponindepedenza! on November 09, 2012, 12:39:23 AM
I just hate when people contact me to buy something I'm not selling... I received another pm today from someone who already contacted me once to buy my french suntie. Price is growing, even if I said it was not for sale... it is so harassing !! Of course I need money, everyone do, BUT I know I'll regret it forever if I ever sell her.
A friend of mine sold a pony like this, once she received an offer she was unable to refuse. And now she is desperate because she knows she won't be able to have it anymore.
What do people think ? everything is for sale ? Offer more and more and the person will give up... I don't want people think they can influence my choices with money, I don't even want to have to think about it because the offer is high. It's a matter of conscience I don't want to be put in by someone I even don't know !
So I changed my sign, but I'm not sure it will prevent me from receiving those kind of pm...


Is it something that already happened to you ? How did you react ? How did it make you feel ?
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: zora on November 09, 2012, 02:21:03 AM
that suntie is gorgeous, i think i would never let her go too! :D i had such a case once, it was many years ago when i discovered one of the first italian white lemondrops. i sold her for 800 US$ and now i am desperatly looking to get one again :(
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Princess-Sparkles on November 09, 2012, 03:09:00 AM
:| that's never happened to me, but I only have a few ponies that people would really want. I actually see that as harassment in a way, if you said you weren't selling they should leave it at that.

I may sound harsh about this, but I say if they keep it up report them. Clearly your not selling your precious pony. ^.^ :hug:
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: ponindepedenza! on November 09, 2012, 03:20:16 AM
I'm maybe harsh too, because I only answered to stop harassing me, because next time I'll report it.
It's difficult because it is a member here, and you never know, the personn is surely a kind person... but I just can't accept that someone contact me again and again trying to get something from me that I don't want to let go, and thinking that with the good amount of money I'll give up.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: NovelNerd on November 09, 2012, 04:45:58 AM
I would be highly irritated and block them. If you block someone does that stop the pm's? Some people are just greedy and are in it for themselves. I do not think it is kind to sit and pm and bother someone about that stuff. If the time comes that they want to sell...well they will. That is what the sell forums are for.

I was actually thinking about this last night after reading the thread about the African ponies. Surely I would love one, but to imagine someone bothering again and again to sell irritates me. I'm glad you stood up to that and simply said no. People are used to getting what they want by throwing on a large price tag and not everything can be bought.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Princess-Sparkles on November 09, 2012, 04:50:36 AM
I would be highly irritated and block them. If you block someone does that stop the pm's? Some people are just greedy and are in it for themselves. I do not think it is kind to sit and pm and bother someone about that stuff. If the time comes that they want to sell...well they will. That is what the sell forums are for.

I was actually thinking about this last night after reading the thread about the African ponies. Surely I would love one, but to imagine someone bothering again and again to sell irritates me. I'm glad you stood up to that and simply said no. People are used to getting what they want by throwing on a large price tag and not everything can be bought.

This! ^_^

It seems to be comming a trend. :/
Oh and I have had it happen sort of. Someone asked me to sell my mimic that I got for my birthday. To the person - um, yeah no thanks ..
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: hilamb on November 09, 2012, 05:13:46 AM
Oh, that sounds really annoying. If a person says no, then you should not ask again, espesially if its not on sale and wasnt in the first place. Sorry to hear that.  :snow: That hasnt happened to me, but i would find it irritating too, if someone asked again and again.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Glacia471 on November 09, 2012, 06:01:48 AM
In some aspects I can understand... if it's their absolute grail, they'd regret it if they just didn't try, especially with a pony with that level of rarity. However, there is a fine line between persistance and harassment. Since you are absolutely NOT going to sell Suntie, they should accept it and stop asking. If in the unlikely case you do change your mind in the future, I'm sure you'd know to make a post about it here to draw attention to her sale ;)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: hokuspokus on November 09, 2012, 08:42:12 AM
Well, if you told them you did not wanted to sell, it's pretty rude if they're asking again... and again...
If someone says a pony/whatever is not for sale just show some respect, folks.

I don't think you are harsh, by the way. You seem to have been nice and clear in the beginning, if people don't know how to stop, this is what's coming. Don't feel bad.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Bibinettepony on November 09, 2012, 08:48:46 AM
I am really happy  ^.^ you did not make the same stupid error I have made Ponindependenza  :cry:
I have sold one of my preferred girls, ok at that time I was really in need of money  and I have accepted the offer which was really interesting BUT I am still thinking about my pony  >_< >_< >_<
So I understand 100% your point of view and now I know exactly I won't sell a pony I love a lot even for a big sum of money.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: pinkkittywinks on November 09, 2012, 11:32:19 AM
:hug:

i am afraid this sort of thing does happen and it has happened to me also :(

all you can do is say the pony is not for sale and will not be for sale :hug:

love pkw xxx
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: kasin on November 09, 2012, 11:50:50 AM
I understand, it’s part of why I didn’t donate photos to the gallery, use rare stuff in my sig or why most collectors don’t know much about my collection (don’t make assumptions from the post count :) ) The best collection I ever saw (I would argue the best nirvana collection ever) was not known to the community. I know of several huge collections with people that have accounts here but don’t post much. A couple nirvana collectors, a utopian and one that had a factory find in the early 90's to name a few. None of these are really known to the community. There is a LOT more out there in the pony underground :)

As a note, I take ultra rare ponies to some events like Breyerfest, toy shows etc. and leave them out to see if anyone says anything. I’ve tossed them into trade bins when meeting people in person too. I have good stories :)

All said, I don’t mind the PM's that have good prices but I am annoyed when I get PM's from the same person over and over and I’m down right angry when I get one with a silly low price from someone that knows the true value. (I’ve had several offers from established community members offering $100-$200 USD for an African over the years) there is just no excuse for that, one even wrote a sad letter so I would feel bad. I will never sell to that person. Never.

Wow, so now I look like a real prick… oh well.

Feel better Ponindependenza! I’m sure the person that is sending you PM’s will see this and know they need to leave you alone.

~ Diana
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: pinkkittywinks on November 09, 2012, 12:08:16 PM
kasin ~ this makes me so sad for the collectors and the community, as imho both parties are losing out. i do understand that the community has changed a lot over the years and in many ways i will still be seen as a newbie ;)

the nirvana gallery is VERY important to me, it is a way of sharing very rare ponies with the community, as well as being one of the most complete picture nirvana resources on the internet :bigups: 

the idea that people might use the gallery to track people down to hound them for their ponies makes me very sad. it is not that sort of tool and was never indented for that, yet people always find a way to abuse things. this is partly why it is now all water makred. it also makes me sad to think there are ponies out there that people are reluctant to share and so therefore the community is missing out on knowledge.

while I will always credit the people who have donated a picture to the gallery, I am always willing to accept private donations ia PM or email with no name credited to the picture should people wish that.

back on topic: i am saddend also about the low balling, but again i have seen this happen along with the sob story :(

love pkw xxx

ETA ~ kasin like you i always take my SA pony or another special pony with me to ponycon :D i adore being able to share them and let people hold them, you get to learn so much more in real life than you do from a pictures o nthe internet, sunlight even has met other SA ponies that way too ;)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: plushroo on November 09, 2012, 02:19:15 PM
This is part of the reason I'm hesitant to even post pics of my collection up for fear someone will see something and nag me. I had a similar thing happen on the old pony board where a person asked if I would trade my complete mail order littlest pet shop charm bracelet for some ponies. I politely said no thanks. They didn't ask anymore though, but I do understand the frustration. I'd love to have Glacia's white lickety split, but I sure ain't going to harass her to sale it to me (just using it as an example, glacia ;) )

edit: Kasin, I just want to say I LOVE your sig! That puppy is so cute!!
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Ember1 on November 09, 2012, 03:40:15 PM
It has happened to me also.. but I actually like to know if I ever do sell a pony who to contact because you never know when your going to need emergency money..

Ponies are just ponies after all so yes it is good to take a hint when the person is not willing to sell but I try also to not look a gift pony in the mouth if its a pony that maybe
one day i might need to part with. :)

I also understand your situation if its a pony that you would just never ever ever part with so I guess there are two sides to the coin :)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Galactica on November 09, 2012, 04:24:49 PM
So cute she is!

I haven't had that happen with ponies- but to a minor degree with some prototype dolls-

I think a straight up offer to buy is a bit rude if the item isn't for sale.  It is okay for someone to make it very clear that they love your item and should you ever decide to sell, that they would be very interested...  But to make a straight up offer?  Seems a bit pushy.

If in response to your firm declination someone follows up with more offers?  Well I think that is plain rude.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: kasin on November 09, 2012, 04:35:48 PM
Hum. So in proper pony manners, is it ok to pm offers if done respectfully?

PKW, I wish I were so kind. I like to toss rare stuff in sale bins like it's nothing and see if anyone notices and what they do. I've never attended a MLP only event. So I don't think I'd get away with it there, it's like where's waldo. I have met in person with collector's that asked to see things however and that was always a good experience.


Plushroo, thank you! My puppy is all grown up now,  but I like dragging that photo out every fall :)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: hamsteh on November 09, 2012, 04:53:58 PM
My mum had a similar issue, not on a forum or with ponies, but on Flickr with a doll. You're not even meant to sell on Flickr, and this person messaged my mum several times on Flickr, and then messaged her on ebay! She even got her friend involved, messaging her and adding her as a contact and stuff after my mum got too annoyed and reported her.
Some people just need to learn where to draw the line. D:

Before she took it too far, we were just like "yeah fair enough, make sure to let her know if you decide to sell the doll" but after that, we kinda thought it best not to have anything to do with them, their offer was poor anyway. My mum didn't even ask what they were gonna offer because she wasn't selling, but they told her anyway.  -_-

Such a shame really, cause it does make people reluctant to share their pictures of their collections, my mum has thought twice about uploading pictures to Flickr since then. ><;

I'm not sure I really own anything rare enough that anyone would message me about it thought. ^^;
There's still time though! Haha. xD
(Hope it's alright to mention, since it's not pony related. ; _ ; On topic, though...)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Glacia471 on November 09, 2012, 07:36:40 PM
@Plushroo- no worries ;) In some aspects it's flattering (to me anyway), since I'm very proud to own my Lickety, but I've also never been constantly asked to sell her either. If I ever decided to sell my Lickety, it'd be here on the Arena via auction-style 'listing'. I'd probably advertise it for like a month or something too so people would have time to save up. However, my Lickety is very special to me, so I can't imagine ever parting with her :lovey: I have a mess of other Nirvanas that would go before she would.

I think I've only had 1 offer to buy something coming from my collection pictures (unless I stated in my post that I was considering selling), and that was for a white DnW bottle for $5. I didn't realize at the time that it was MO Mommy & Baby's, but thankfully decided to pass since I didn't have an extra. That member who made the offer was later banned for being a scammer. They claimed they 'hadn't seen one before' but now I believe they were just trying to low-ball me.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: TwoMore on November 09, 2012, 09:25:17 PM
I am rather surprised that people would be so persistent about buying. I understand sending an "if you ever want to sell think of me message" but anything more pressuring then that is a bit much.
I never even thought about people not wanting to share pictures because of the issue. What a shame. I love seeing pictures of rare and interesting ponies even when I know they are not for sale. I can always have a custom made!
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: pinkkittywinks on November 10, 2012, 04:02:25 AM
oh gosh, i am now starting to realise that there are more and more people who have had problems because they have shared pictures on the internet :( i thought it might happen that people would track down the pictures owners, but i really had no idea that it could be such i problem and cause such hurt and upset and to the extect and which it does happen.

i guess it goes to show how naive i am, as it would never cross my mind to do such a thing and keep throwing money at someone and pestering them. i maybe would make a little joke with the owner now and again in a thread, but only to be light hearted as i always accept that the pony belongs to the other person and i am happy for them. i accept and understand that some ponies are and always will be out of my reach.

PKW, I wish I were so kind. I like to toss rare stuff in sale bins like it's nothing and see if anyone notices and what they do. I've never attended a MLP only event. So I don't think I'd get away with it there, it's like where's waldo. I have met in person with collector's that asked to see things however and that was always a good experience.


ooh sneaky, i love that!!! i bet you had great fun watching peoples faces! i usually manage to spot something special from across the room and make a bee-line :P

i am glad you had a good experience with another collector :hug:

love pkw xxx
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Cide85 on November 10, 2012, 04:28:32 AM
Yeah, there's a lot of beautiful nirvana ponies, that I would love to have a change of getting, but I try to never pester anyone about it though. And I certainly hope that someone will say straight to me if they feel that I would be doing so.

Though there certainly can only be one such pony who I might have pestered someone about at the moment. And that's Ember's Greek green Baby Cuddels.... But she is kind of special to me, when she is the exact pony I had as a teenager before stupidly selling her in the flea market. But I hope Ember had not felt I would have annoyed her for it, as I am still happy I know where Baby Cuddels is and she certainly has a great home. ^^
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: ponindepedenza! on November 10, 2012, 04:41:23 AM
Thanks for your answers, I think people sometimes don't think that what they are doing is unpleasant for other people. The member pm'd me back telling me she will stop and that she is sorry :)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Ember1 on November 10, 2012, 04:53:26 AM
Hi Cide85.. No ofcourse I didn't take offense hun. I totally understand being passionate about a pony.. its why we collect.
And in no way do I take offense to you wanting to find a way to get your old pony back:) Pmed you :)

*hugs*
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Stormness_1 on November 10, 2012, 05:17:29 AM
I don't have any really rare G1's, but I've had a few people PM regarding my G4 Rainbow Flash... Strawberry reef wanted a hair colour match, and I said I'd PM her with one.... I got soo many offers! If I'd received repeat offers from the same person, I'd sure have been annoyed. Thankfully they were respectful of my choice not to sell. Obviously the person now realises how upsetting that can be for the pony's owner, which is a good thing to know.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Moonbreeze on November 10, 2012, 06:15:46 AM
Oof yeah I had the same once. I posted something in the Brag Arena, it was one of my grail ponies and someone pm'd me and asked me if I wanted to sell my grail pony >.> uhmmm no...
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Oneleo1 on November 10, 2012, 06:57:04 AM
I can understand asking if a pony is for sale once and making a possible offer, but to keep going back and increasing the offer to pressure the person to sell...I would be highly annoyed and would probably call the person out publicly for being a jerk.

But that is me...it's probably good that I don't have anyone doing that to me.

I am glad the person apologized and will leave you alone now! :)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: LadyGuinevere on November 10, 2012, 10:01:02 AM
The person who sent the message has asked me to post on her behalf, as she doesn't want to cause anymore trouble than it already has. There were two messages, sent a couple of months apart. She didn't intend to offend or pressurise, and is very sorry for what happened and will learn from the experience.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: NoPonySpecial on November 10, 2012, 11:31:32 AM
  Good for her! (To learn from her mistake, I mean.)
  There is a way to go about this if you see something in someone else's possession that you are really really interested in. The polite thing to do, both in real life and the internet, is to send a message saying to "let me know if you ever plan to sell ____." One message, no offer of price. Maybe give a reason why you're interested to help the person know you better and think to themselves "This person would be a good home for my pony/house/painting/etc," but no sob stories, obviously. Just a message that's short and friendly that puts NO pressure on the person you are soliciting. After that, never bother the person again, and understand that it could come to nothing.
  And of course, the thing should be one of a kind or incredibly hard to find. Otherwise it'd be silly to bother someone about something you could get in a store. :)
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Marigold on November 10, 2012, 12:17:37 PM
Well now, thanks to this post I really really want a Suntie!  I didn't even know she existed.  Bah!  Are there more of her out there?

I have had someone persist on asking me to sell something.  It was a stuffed animal and the person asking was a mother of a friend who was younger than me.  The little girl was someone I baby sat and played with and she happened to have the exact same animal but all beat up and worn out.  My plushie was in great condition because I was very good to my toys.  Her mom kept telling me I should sell mine so her daughter could have a nice new one.  This was her daughter's favorite toy and if I did give her mine it would end up like that one.  There was no way I was selling it for any amount.  It also happened to be my very first ever stuffed animal so it was special to me.  I still have it.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: michelle53 on November 10, 2012, 04:49:25 PM
I understand, it’s part of why I didn’t donate photos to the gallery, use rare stuff in my sig or why most collectors don’t know much about my collection (don’t make assumptions from the post count :) ) The best collection I ever saw (I would argue the best nirvana collection ever) was not known to the community. I know of several huge collections with people that have accounts here but don’t post much. A couple nirvana collectors, a utopian and one that had a factory find in the early 90's to name a few. None of these are really known to the community. There is a LOT more out there in the pony underground :)

This makes me extremely sad.  The pony community should be able to share pictures and stories about extremely rare and previous with each other. 
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: maycrestmom on November 10, 2012, 06:16:23 PM
my how this thread has grown!  yah I can totally relate to the fun I have bringing nirvana to pony meets = to me, this kind of collectible is so wonderfully touchable, I feel I collect just so I can share - ex. bringing my OOAK squeaky butt to the VAPony meet :-)  I absolutely adore the fact that I don't worry about my kids breaking my collection ;-)

So about being asked to sell when not technically for sale? hmmm... the way I see it is there is no harm in their asking,  you have the right to say yes or no.  Of course it's trickier if the situation is a money-need.  And for the simple fact that it's not being advertized as a sale and possibly a situation that will be regretted later on if not sold "for the right reasons", than I would echo I would hope not to be pestered regularly and most folks here I would think are smart enough to get it and I would hope that communication is clear is all

Now given if it was posted in a brag section, than part of me has to expect that I posted to get a response = which is possibly a reason for me I rarely am on that forum...

funny I never thought about it like that before, and I've often hoped folks don't take it the wrong way when I am in real life uber-excited in receiving ponies from them but then don't run and post over in brags = it's a tough call for me as I know I hope that they appreciate I am so thankful, but then half the joy of giving is getting to see that person's face and it's hard when all our sales and such are done over the ol' internet... but yeah, as newbie as I am, I can say I thought about the whole backlash about being trackable in regards to pictures posted

but please PKW = please I NEED THAT NIRVANA gallery!!! My memory is terrible and I try to use it before I bid on anything "strange" I see...

Maybe if it had to be considered that photos would not be credited?  If it's a problem for folks getting contacted?  I agree I am kinda sad to read about a huge pony underground and yet, I can totally believe it... kinda why I know I was so suspicious when the whole venezuela pony explosion happened at first...  the social media is here to stay but I would hope it would be a way to unite us in a good way instead of making us "trackable", like a target

just my thoughts on this = especially as we have wonderful members trying to update for books and such as well = I'd hate to lose the chance to at least see a pony in a picture while waiting for my chance to someday own what I like

I guess since I've been content to make a custom "placeholder" for the few impossible to gets = like I am now in the nirvana swap ;-) = I can't expect I would be on the side of asking for someone sell X-amazing pony (hah - SoSilver and some italians and vennes come to mind for me...). 

I would hope that if it is a super rare pony, and you've maybe gotten more than one request to sell, that I like Glacia's idea to put it up for auction WITH PLENTY OF TIME and give everyone a chance. 

But in the end, they are your ponies and you can do with them as you wish, so folks who get good offers and sell for that reason to just a single fellow board member are ok in my book as well = just overall,  I would hope whatever route you take when parting with a cherished, rare, OOAK nirvana that are happy with the sale, else don't do the sale


Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: hilamb on November 10, 2012, 11:39:30 PM
Im glad to hear that person said sorry. :) Im sure she/he didint want to pester.

Im sad to hear too, that there are nirvanas nenevr seen or heard about. Maby someday we all get to see'em. Altough, at the same time, i understand why people dont want to show them.  :snow:
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: pinkkittywinks on November 11, 2012, 03:29:27 AM
MCM ~ the nirvana gallery is going no where ;) and as i have already said in this thread, i will accept private picture donations via PM were no name is credited ;)

getting back on topic: i am glad to hear the person is sorry for her actions and that she has learnt from it. i think we all have a lot to learn from this :hug:

love pkw xxx
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: kellyponyfeathers on November 11, 2012, 03:51:40 AM
Um, I think most people here would disagree with me, but at the risk of sounding bad, I don't think emailing with offers is all that horribly rude.  Especially if it's only twice, and those are several months apart.  Yes, it's a bit, um, ASSERTIVE, but it just doesn't seem like a huge deal to me.  Look at the thread that kasin just started about maybe selling some South Africans; it's exactly the same situation.  Kasin said she's received some offers that are hard to ignore, so now she's thinking about it.

But in this case we're talking about in this thread, I don't think the other person who made the offers realized that she was harassing/offending ponindependenza, and judging from how the situation has progressed, with the appology and the promise to stop making offers, it sounds like that's exactly what happened.  I'll bet the other person feels terrible and horribly embarassed now, and probably just wants to crawl under a rock and never come out again. 

So in situations like this, if we receive offers for ponies that aren't for sale, and we're feeling harassed or offended, I really think we should just say so, politely but firmly, and that should be enough to get the other person to stop.  And if it doesn't, then of course we should report to a moderator.  But if we just reply with a "No, the pony is not for sale, sorry," then how is the other person to know that we feel offended and harassed?  Sometimes a simple "no thanks" isn't enough, and the answer needs to be "no, and you're starting to irritate me, please back off."  (And I'm talking about pony collecting here, not overly persistant men.)

So I think we should just keep in mind that some people are more sensitive than others about pressure to sell.  I really think it's OK to offer, as long as we don't make nuisances of ourselves.  And if we are becoming nuisances, then the owner of the rare pony should speak up and say so.

Great, I'm probably going to get my head bitten off for saying all this, but that's just how I see it.  I actually sympathize for both ponindependenza and whoever made the offers, and I'm glad the situation is getting resolved for both of them.  I just think we should be respectful of ponindependenza's feelings, but not overly harsh on the other person either.  I know a lot of us can be a bit grabby when it comes to our pony passions; the important thing is to draw the line and know not to cross it.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: maycrestmom on November 11, 2012, 05:13:55 AM
well said :-) as there should be no problem in being assertive and yes, I think the possibility of kasin's SA ponies are a good case in point = and I for one wouldn't bite your head off kellyponyfeathers ;-) as the hope is we are all mature here while still dealing with balancing some very strong emotions
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: kellyponyfeathers on November 11, 2012, 05:41:28 AM
Thanks, maycrest!  Hopefully others will see my point too and not misunderstand me.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: achab1984 on November 11, 2012, 10:10:38 AM
Some people think that they can get whatever they want if they have the funds. I understand if you ask once and they say no. But to come back and ask again is just plain rude! :(   Do not sell that girl! You will never ever forgive yourself if you do! 
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: kasin on November 11, 2012, 11:42:38 AM
You know, I was thinking. Some times we forget that this is a very multi cultural group. I live in a mix culture family and we frequently have misunderstandings because what is polite in one culture is rude in another. In this case, use of language or persistence may be interpreted differently by different people.

Just a thought. Or maybe I've had too much culture sensitivity training at work :)

~Diana
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: NoPonySpecial on November 11, 2012, 01:05:59 PM

Just a thought. Or maybe I've had too much culture sensitivity training at work :)

~Diana

Nothing wrong with too much sensitivity!

@ Kellyponyfeathers: Honestly, I kind of felt the same way when I heard how far apart the solicitations were and that there were only two. But there us a right way to go about asking if someone is willing to sell something, so I can see why Ponindepedenza was concerned that the problem could persist. I don't know that a whole thread needed to be started over it, but it is an interesting question, and it raised a good discussion, so no harm done.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: ponindepedenza! on November 11, 2012, 02:19:55 PM
I think it may be cultural too. In france we don't really talk about money...
So if something is not for sale and someone is still asking it may seem offensive.
I didn't realize at first the first pm was two months ago, I thought it was not so long ago, because I still had it in mind.
What shocked me the most in fact is the offer itself. I understand when people ask me if I sell, it is worth trying,  but I don't really understand when people offer money when something is not for sale and they know it.
To me it is just a way to put pressure on someone.
Like "you don't want to sell it for 1000$ ? Maybe for 2000$ ? No, wait, maybe for 3000$ ? Just think about what you could do with all this money, think about your children, don't you want the best for them, and now, are you sure this pony is more important than them ?" And when the offer is crazy high, even if you love your pony and was sure you never ever wanted to sell it, it is sure you start to feel a bit stupid to keep it while selling it could help you to pay the rent during 6 months...

Be careful, I don't say the member who offers for my suntie put this kind of pressure on me. She just send an offer. I may overeacted but I'm not used to this method.
And as I told you, she apologized so it is not a problem anymore for me.
I didn't want to compromise the other member, just talking about my feeling and know if it is something that happened to you before and how you react because I was not sure myself as I was perplexed about it.
 
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: kitkatvintage on November 11, 2012, 05:59:33 PM
I think that if the owner of the pony is clearly happy to have it (such as displaying it in a signature, posting a brag thread about getting their "grail", or saying openly in a thread "this pony is not for sale"), then it is rude of people to offer to buy it. That's just my opinion. Even with friends who have a very rare pony, I don't think I'd ever bring myself to ask to buy it unless they clearly said they were thinking of selling it. I've missed out on things I would have loved to own because of that, but it's just not who I am.

I've been asked to sell things that were clearly not for sale, too. I understand about feeling foolish when you really need the money more than the pony. :huh: But you can't put a price on sentimental value.

I agree that it could be a cultural difference, too. Everyone has a different idea of what is "polite" or "fair business practice".
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: kellyponyfeathers on November 11, 2012, 06:18:16 PM
The possible difference in cultural values and norms is a very good point; I hadn't really thought of it that way.  Guess I didn't deserve that A I got in Intercultural Communication, ha ha!
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: banditpony on November 11, 2012, 06:47:06 PM
It's weird. I would feel upset if someone asked me for one of my not so common ponies .

But my fiance (whose parents are from another country), he has different values than I do (and is less clingy to objects than I am). If someone offered him money for his favorite camera, I know he would not be offended one bit, and probably would consider serious offers.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Psydo on November 11, 2012, 10:50:26 PM
I'm glad the issue with the member is over :hug:

Putting high money in balance makes you be torn between your pony love and your reason. But I agree that it may be cultural difference, or just individual sensitivity.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: hilamb on November 12, 2012, 06:14:31 AM
Kelly, i understand your point and did think about it too. People feel differently and there are so many different cultures here.  :) Im glad everything cleared up.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Goldilocks on November 18, 2012, 03:27:08 PM
This has happened to me several times I have posted pics of something unusual from my collection.

I wouldn't mind asking nicely if something was available for sale, like people have commented in this topic previously too. But some of the messages I have gotten have seemed a bit unkind, for example just "how much for this pony", and nothing else at all in the message. I feel it wouldn't be nice to send a message like that to someone even if the pony in question was listed in a sales topic.

Oh and I remember when I joined this forum, I posted an ID topic for my childhood Greek Birthday pony. And before she was even identified, a Nirvana collector sent me a message where they asked if I would sell my birthday pony for $400. And she was definitely worth lots more than that in 2005.
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: Desert Rose on November 19, 2012, 05:43:29 AM
I must say this topic really caught my attention and I read every post :P

Firstly I'm very happy to hear that the issue that was the trigger for this post has been resolved. And after reading that it was 2 times with a couple of months appart, that the member didn't realize he/she was making the OP uncomfortable and that he/she appologized as soon as he/she realized it wasn't ok I don't think there's any need to be too harsh on this member.
I do completely agree with Kellypony in what she wrote :)


Meanwhile I am abit surprised, I must admit. Back when I was last active in the pony community  (over 5 years ago) I only posted a few pictures of ponies I recently got in brag threads, but never my entire collection. Since I got back I have only posted a couple of pictures of very few ponies from my herd for different reasons, but again, never my entire collection. And it's most likely the reason noone has ever contacted me about anything and asked me to sell it even if it wasn't for sale.
So to hear that these things are going on is abit of a shock. (Not referring to the OP's situation, but from the other replys and how bad it can become).
I've SO been looking forward to share pictures of my entire collection and my new pony room once it's done, but now I must admit I'm abit hesitant.


Allthought I personaly wouldn't be offended if someone contacted me about a pony and asked if I was willing to part with it. I would most likely be flattered that one of my precious little ponies caused some attention, but I wouldn't be offended.
However, to continue messaging and even getting friends to message and try and make you sell it - like in the instance with Hamsteh's mothers doll on Flickr would piss me off and that is nothing short of harassing.

But I can see how it's a cultural thing. For instance here in Scandinavia we have fixed prices on everything and there is no way, no how anyone can ever haggle the prices (noone born n raised here would ever try). Meanwhile, there are countries where it's what you are expected to do no matter what. (I work in a jewellry store and it has happend that a few people who are here on vacation come in and try to haggle the prices which I can't change even if my life depended on it as it's determind by our managers and if we were to alter it we would get in sooo much trouble).
Sorry for rambling, but the point is it's very likely to be a cultural thing on what is allright and what isn't when it comes to buisiness transactions and items. But no matter what culture there's always a certin line when it becomes harassing either way.


Personaly it would never even cross my mind to write to someone and ask them to sell a pony to me that is from their own collection O.o Not even if it's my most holy of grails and whatnot, it's just not something I would even consider as I always assume that pony is very loved by its owner and since he/she isnt selling it it's obviously not for sale.
But I don't see it as something wrong either to write to a person and say like: "Just a heads up, if you ever decide to sell X pony please think of me as it is one of my grails :)"
The only time I can see it being wrong is if you see a member posting in the Brag thread how they just got their grail and you write and ask them. How does it even make sense that a person writing and braging about obtaining their grail would be interested in selling it? XD


So sorry for the long post, I'm just surprised and all sorts at what's actually going on in the world and as always I have very strong opinions XD
Title: Re: Offer more and more to get a pony that is not for sale ??!!
Post by: tootie_tails on November 19, 2012, 07:48:05 AM
Sorry but I find it hard to believe that this would be such a huge problem on the arena.

It's easy to say it happened to you when you don't tell who it was or which pony it was about. So I call bull.. eh, bandwagon. ;)
I have never contacted anyone like that and I have never had it happen to me either. (and I have posted pictures of rare ponies)
And as it turns out, from LG's comment, the "harassment" that sparked this post in the first place was apparently two messages sent a couple of months apart.

At times like this I feel very blessed because the ponies in my collection I value the most are non rare non expensive ones...
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