So, you know how artists say they look up to great artists to motivate themselves to do better? Well, I've tried to do that, I REALLY have. I admire their work, try to study what I can from their work and apply it to my own, etc. But honestly, more and more lately, when I see their work and I look at my own, it just doesn't motivate me at all. Quite the opposite, I feel like I should just give it all up entirely.
I know it's going to sound stupid, but I have been drawing since I was in preschool, it has always been one of my greatest sources of joy and passion and I've loved trying to get better. But looking at my work and where I am now, it's extremely embarrassing to say that as my work reflects someone who has only picked up a pencil maybe in the last year or so. I have been more and more determined lately to try new things, perspectives, digitally coloring and shading, backgrounds, because I know the only way to get better is to really push myself, but when I turn around and see a 13 year old pull off a masterpiece in Photoshop that I'm sitting here struggling to pull off in months on Sai, it sort of makes me sit back and wonder, why do I bother? Maybe if I never wanted to share my work it wouldn't be a problem, but I DO. Not because I want heaps of praise or mountains of fans, but because I love drawing for my fandoms and I like connecting with others with similar interests.
Sometimes I wonder if I'd have been happier going for an art degree like I had always wanted instead of switching to english. I know there are tons of self taught artists out there who are amazing, but maybe I just was never meant to be one of them and I need to face facts already. Do you guys think it would be less painful to just never share my work again?