Gender stereotypes

[fingerpaints]

I don't think in this day and age we really have much of a need for them any longer.

I wanted to share with you all I was at the video shop last night with my dad, and there was a young boy, probably around eight years old with his mum. He was looking through the new releases and picked out a Barbie movie, I thought to myself "it's going to be on in a minute". Well mum said to the little fella "you really liked the other one of these so we will hire this one for you" really warmed my heart to see a mother not caring what others around her thought of what her son wanted to watch. I really love seeing typical gender walls broken down, especially when it comes to children.

What are your thoughts on this sort of thing? I personally hate it when adults try to force children into typical "girls play with dolls and like pink, boys play with cars and like blue" type crap.

[DazzleKitty]

I hate gender roles. I used to follow them thanks to how I was brought up. When I was a child I saw a mother buying her son a Skipper doll and thought it was so weird. Now that I think back, I feel that she was being an awesome parent.

I think it's more acceptable by society for girls to play with boy toys. My mom bought me lots of boy-pandered toys. Dinosaurs, Hot Wheels, Legos, etc.

But most parents freak if their son wants a girl-pandered toy. It's almost as if it's negative to be feminine. If a guy wants a feminine toy or wants to be feminine, by all means let him. Same for the opposite.

I had to edit this for a very stupid typo I made.

[Eviecorn]

My son likes ponies but he also likes trucks and construction vehicles and plays with both.  He likes to play kitchen and also with dinosaurs.  I give him a variety of toys and however he likes to imagine, I care not as long as he's being creative.

I hate when people over think the programming of gender roles with children.  They're just kids.  I was picking my son up from school one day when I saw another father chastising his son for playing with paper dolls in the classroom.  I wanted to say something so badly as the only thing he was accomplishing was making a scene at this poor kid's expense.  And of course I'm the one whose son meanwhile is styling the fake hair over at the beauty station and complimenting him on how well he parted her hair. 

[melodys_angel]

Its breaking A lot of kids mimic what their parents do, so its common to see girls play with blocks or cars, and boys playing with a kitchen set

[kaoskat]

I think things are changing and that's good. I'm also of the opinion though that nothing has really changed until it no longer matters. When moments like this don't stand out because that's just how it is. So.....I think things are headed the right way but I look forward to the time when it doesn't even matter anymore.

[Rosencrantz]

My tiny step-brother is into lego and toy weapons, but he's also into musicals and has started asking me for ponies. (My dad once said that stepbrother's two greatest loves in life was automatic weaponry and musical theatre)

Anyway, I was at my dad's house eating breakfast with my stepmother, stepsister, and tiny stepbrother and tiny stepbrother asked 'hey, can you give me more ponies?' (he'd gotten me to give him a mainsail dollymix a while ago)

His sister, who is really a lovely girl, said: "Those are GIRL toys"

He was not deterred. I gave him a blind bag the other day, it turned out to be Holly Dash and he was so excited.

But yeah, I'm sick of girl things being seen as 'less worthy'. Entertainment, bands, books, etc, that are really popular with a female demographic are seen as pathetic and mockable and that ain't right.

[Winter Bones]

At the pool one afternoon, a father and son were splashing about in the shallow end. I overheard this conversation:

Dad: What are you doing? Synchronized swimming?

Son: Synchronized swimming is for GIRLS.

Dad: I'll have you know lots of guys are into synchronized swimming!

...because any gender should be allowed to flail about in the water in whatever style that suits their fancy. Way to go dad! Though if synchronized swimming is 'for girls', it does make me wonder what style of swimming is 'for guys'...? Water-skiing maybe?

[HawaiianRain]

I broke the gender issues back in the 80s. Nothing but tonka trucks and ninja turtles for me. I didn't care what anyone thought and neither did my mom!

I will be happy to one day see a break in the toy isles where there is no long the girls isle and boys isle.

[Rosencrantz]

I will be happy to one day see a break in the toy isles where there is no long the girls isle and boys isle.

There's actually a store in europe that has stuff classified by type, not gender. There was a thread on the forum and... actually, some people were kind of annoyed by it. I thought it was brill, tho'. Sounded like I'd find a lot more neat stuff.

[Whippycorn]

I too hate gender roles and it cheers me up to see them 'broken'. I was lucky and my parents never bothered with it, I played with lego, dinosaurs, ninja turtles, ponies etc.  They even gave a pony as a gift to their friends' son. 

[Sky_Rocket_Sammie]

I was raised, well my Mom didn't care what I played with. So long as I played. My Dad was very old school gender rigid. I'm of the mind set, that it doesn't matter. Let the kids play with what they want, what they enjoy. Parents need to not over stress on the whole, "only for boys, only for girls".

[MikeysGrrrl]

I don't believe in raising children with the gender roles that we're so specific when I was a child.
If my husband and I had a baby, I can tell you right now, if it's a girl there will be NO pink lol.
I think children whether they are male or female benefit from playing with all toys, not just gender specific toys.
It's hard to believe that there are still people out there that are bothered by boys playing with dolls and ponies, or girls playing with action figures and cars.
Although I think society in general has always made it harder for boys to be accepted when they play with toys that are more geared towards girls.

[Sarahlacewing]

I can see what you are saying to a large extent.  As far as children and forcing gender stereotypes I agree.

Just to play devils advocate though, I don't think the world is ready to eliminate gender bias.  It would be a little naive of me to say gender doesn't matter.  I want both of my children to learn self defense, but I suspect I'll always be more worried about my daughter's safety than my son's.  I know it's not right.  But even if she was very strong , it's unlikely she would match a man in physical strength.  And so I think it's important to educate her on safety and defense.  Now of course there is always someone stronger than you so I'd want the same for my boy.  But because of the society we live in I feel women are seen as easier targets for violence than men.

Perhaps though it's just less reported by men I don't know.  Just my opinion.

[InkyMilk]

My only issue with this whole "fighting against gender stereotypes" stuff, is that sometimes it really comes across that some individuals have a problem if girls actually like 'feminine' things or that boys like 'masculine' things, as if that automatically makes them narrow-minded or sheltered.

Growing up my dad tried many times to get me to play soccer. I hated it. In junior high and high school I tried basketball and badminton. In the end I quit them both because I just...don't like them. I'm a girl. I do NOT like sports, it doesn't matter how supportive my parents were. They're just not something I like to do and I don't think that makes me a slave to gender stereotypes or whatever. I'm shocked because I recently enrolled in a tae kwon do class and I truly love it, the only sport I have EVER taken that I enjoy and I don't see myself suddenly turning around and wanting to go play flag football.

Likewise, we have a lot of little kids in my family (cousins, nieces, nephews, etc.) so we have a whole room filled with toys aimed for both boys and girls and we don't care who plays with what. Am I going to get mad when my niece wants to play with dolls? Or when my male cousin wants to play with trains? Am I going to take the toys away because they're falling into a gender trap? No, I'm going to let them play with whatever the hell they want. Sometimes my niece will get bored and want to play soccer with my dad. Sometimes she doesn't. It's really up to her and I don't see anything wrong with letting her stay inside and paint her nails and play dress up if that's what she wants to do.

Yes, it's great to allow kids the freedom to play with what they want, but that goes both ways and if a little girl truly enjoys playing fairy princess or a little boy wants to be a ninja master then go ahead and let them. Maybe little fairy princess doesn't WANT to be a ninja master too  or your ninja master doesn't want to give up his swords in place of a tiara, and if they don't then that's just fine too.

[GothMummy]

Sarahlacewing - I did read somewhere recently that young men are more stastically likely to be the victim of violent attack like muggings that women. I dont have a reference for that though.  I have a boy and a girl and Im going to send them both to martial arts.

I have worked really hard to avoid gender stereotypes with my son and I think its worked - at nearly 8 he plays with MLP, Puppy in my Pocket , plays dolls with me and his sister. We have a pony and he is mad on riding despite it being a heavily girl dominated sport, but also plays with Dr Who stuff and lego.

My daughter I am struggling more with though - she is mad on dolls and pushchairs and handbags, hair bands etc, she wants to copy me in everything I do (including putting make up, which I wont let her do) and shes only 2. I find myself sitting down trying to convince her to play with construction toys like Duplo as I want her to be an engineer when she grows up!