So I volunteered to write up a placard for a My Little Pony display and I'd like you all to look over it and give me your opinions. It's a public display where many non-fans will see it and there are only G1 in the display so I focused on that. I also wanted to keep it down to only 1 page with a font size that isn't illegible. So I had to be succinct. But any way, tell me what you think.
First draft:
Spoiler
My Little Pony
For centuries the horse was humanity’s primary mode of transportation, inspiring art and poetry. It is no small wonder then that the horse has also been a common theme in children’s toys from the simplest hobby horse, being nothing more than a head on a stick, to the work of art that is an elaborately carved carousel horse. For years, as technologies evolved, the goal was always to make a more realistic horse toy, more realistically molded, more realistically painted.
That is until 1982 when Hasbro introduced an entirely new type of horse toy.
The year previously, in 1981, Hasbro had brought to market My Pretty Pony which was a large hard plastic pony, created by illustrator Bonnie Zacherle and sculptor Charles Muenchinger. It had brush-able hair and all kinds of small mechanical features, toys that “did something” being all the rage at the time. However, My Pretty Pony was only a moderate success.
After going back to the drawing board, Hasbro came back in the following year, 1982, with the rebranded My Little Pony. She did not look at all like other horse toys of the time which were usually made of a hard material and realistically molded and painted. She was small, she was soft, and she was brightly colored. She had hair that could be brushed and each pony had a unique “rump design” (commonly referred to as a “symbol” among collectors).
And she was popular. Massively popular. It is estimated that 150 million ponies where sold worldwide during the 1980’s.
Why was My Little Pony so popular?
While one of the criticisms of early generations of My Little Pony was “flat” characters and a “fluid” cannon, the beauty of this type of toy was that each pony was a blank canvas upon which each child could write her own story and create her own characters. My Little Pony appealed to children who dreamed of owning their own real pony and the pony’s brush-able hair provided hair play for those children who were less enamored of fashion dolls. Also marketing of My Little Pony in this era leaned heavily on the collectability aspect of the brand resulting in hundreds of individual characters with reissues being rare.
The first generation of My Little Pony lasted from 1982 to 1992 (and until 1995 internationally.) It included two tv specials, a full length animated movie, and two television shows plus merchandise of everything from clothing, bedding, and games to porcelain figures and electronics.
Since the original line of My Little Pony, Hasbro has rebranded roughly once a decade (or more), sometimes meeting with more success than others. With each new rebranding a new generation of My Little Pony is born, from the 1997 Generation 2 to the 2003 Generation 3 to the current Generation 4 which started in 2010.
edited 2nd draft
Spoiler
My Little Pony
For centuries the horse was humanity’s primary mode of transportation, inspiring art and poetry. It is no small wonder then that the horse has also been a common theme in children’s toys from the simplest rocking horse to the work of art that is an elaborately carved carousel steed. As technologies evolved, so too did toy horses yielding ever more faithful reproductions.
That is until 1982 when Hasbro introduced an entirely new type of horse toy.
The year previously Hasbro brought to market My Pretty Pony which was a large hard plastic pony, created by illustrator Bonnie Zacherle and sculptor Charles Muenchinger with brushable hair and mechanical features typically popular for the era. However, My Pretty Pony was only a moderate success.
After going back to the drawing board, Hasbro came back in the following year, 1982, with the rebranded My Little Pony. Unlike the realistic horse toys of the time, My Little Ponies were small, soft and brightly colored, each with a unique painted design on either flank.
Hasbro’s new ponies were massively popular. An estimated 150 million were sold worldwide during the 1980’s.
My Little Pony appealed to children who dreamed of owning their own real pony and the pony’s brush-able hair provided hair made them an alternative to fashion dolls. Later toys also capitalized on the popularity of unicorns and pegasi which add an additional fantasy element. Marketing of My Little Pony in this era leaned heavily on the collectability aspect of the brand resulting in hundreds of individual characters.
The first generation of My Little Pony lasted from 1982 to 1992 and until 1995 in some international markets. It included two tv specials, a full length animated movie, and two television shows plus merchandise of everything from clothing to housewares, books, games and electronics.
Since the original line of My Little Pony, Hasbro has rebranded roughly once a decade with variable success. With each new rebranding a new generation of My Little Pony is born, from the 1997 Generation 2 to the 2003 Generation 3 to the current Generation 4 which started in 2010 and is ongoing.
draft #3
Spoiler
My Little Pony
For centuries the horse was humanity’s primary mode of transportation, inspiring art and poetry. It is no small wonder then that the horse has also been a common theme in children’s toys from the simplest rocking horse to the work of art that is an elaborately carved carousel steed. As technologies evolved, so too did toy horses yielding ever more faithful reproductions.
That is until 1982 when Hasbro introduced an entirely new type of horse toy.
The year previously Hasbro brought to market My Pretty Pony which was a large hard plastic pony, created by illustrator Bonnie Zacherle and sculptor Charles Muenchinger with brush-able hair and mechanical features typically popular for the era. However, My Pretty Pony was only a moderate success.
Going back to the drawing board, Hasbro launched My Little Pony the following year. Unlike the realistic horse toys of the time, My Little Ponies were small, soft and brightly colored, each with a unique painted design on either flank. Hasbro’s new ponies were massively popular. An estimated 150 million were sold worldwide during the 1980’s.
My Little Pony appealed to children on multiple fronts. The ponies appealed to both the horse lovers and those drawn to fantasy and magic. The softer vinyl meant they were more hug-able and harder to break while the brush-able hair provided an alternative to fashion dolls. Marketing of My Little Pony in this era leaned heavily on the collectability aspect of the brand resulting in hundreds of individual characters.
The first generation of My Little Pony lasted from 1982 to 1992 in the United States and until 1995 in some international markets. It included two tv specials, a full length animated movie, and two television shows plus merchandise of everything from clothing to housewares, books, games and electronics.
Since the original line of My Little Pony, Hasbro has rebranded roughly once a decade with variable success. With each new rebranding a new generation of My Little Pony is born, from the 1997 Generation 2 to the 2003 Generation 3 to the current Generation 4 which started in 2010 and is ongoing.
Final Draft
Is this a handout or something that's going to be integrated into a display? If it's part of the display and we're not talking standard sized museum panels, you likely have too many words there.
Also 'her own story / her own characters' - My Little Ponies were not only enjoyed by girls.
"She did not look at all..." The singular female pronoun here is awkward given it's referring to a plurality of toys.
"(commonly referred to as a “symbol” among collectors)." This likely isn't relevant to the general public, same with canon, as was pointed out already. Also one 'n'. Cannons shoot cannonballs. Canonical means 'in verse.
Uses of quotes and parentheses often indicate areas that should be cut or integrated.
" being nothing more than a head on a stick, " Is it necessary to tell the reader what a hobby horse consists of? It's already been described as 'simple' so this seems redundant.
Suggested rough edit under the spoiler.
Spoiler
My Little Pony
For centuries the horse was humanity’s primary mode of transportation, inspiring art and poetry. It is no small wonder then that the horse is a common theme in children’s toys; from the humblest rocking horse to decadence of an elaborately carved carousel steed. As technologies evolved, so too did toy horses. New materials and techniques yielded ever more faithful reproductions in toy form.
That is until 1982 when Hasbro introduced an entirely new type of horse toy.
The year previously Hasbro had brought to market My Pretty Pony. A large hard plastic toy, it was designed by illustrator Bonnie Zacherle and sculptor Charles Muenchinger with brushable hair and mechanical features typically popular for the era. However, My Pretty Pony was only a moderate success.
After going back to the drawing board, Hasbro came back in the following year with the rebranded My Little Pony. Unlike the realistic horse toys of the time, My Little Ponies were small, soft and brightly coloured. They had hair that could be brushed and each pony had a unique painted design on either flank.
Hasbro's new ponies were massively popular. An estimated 150 million were sold worldwide during the 1980’s.
My Little Pony appealed to children who dreamed of owning their own real pony and the pony’s brushable hair made them an alternative to fashion dolls. Later toys also capitalized on the popularity of unicorns and pegasi. Marketing leaned heavily on the collectibility aspect of the brand resulting in hundreds of individual characters, sold in sets with a common theme or feature. The first generation of My Little Pony lasted from 1982 to 1992 in North America and until 1995 in Europe. It included two TV specials, a cartoon series and a full length movie, plus merchandise of everything from clothing to housewares, books, games and electronics.
Since the original line of My Little Pony ended, Hasbro has rebooted the brand roughly once a decade with variable success. With each new rebranding a new generation of My Little Pony is born, from the 1997 Generation 2 to the 2003 Generation 3 to the current Generation 4 which started in 2010 and is ongoing.
There's a bunch of stuff that needs to be confirmed (Was Europe the last market for G1 in 1995? I'm not sure.) and it doesn't mention that Care Bears probably strongly influenced how the early MLP's looked. Probably best to leave that out as it's conjecture anyways, as far as I know. Rocking horses are probably more well known to the average person than a hobby horse, particularly younger kids.
Ok, so lets see. How about I replace this part:
"My Little Pony appealed to children who dreamed of having their own real pony friend and the pony’s brush-able hair provided them an alternative to fashion dolls. Later toys also capitalized on the popularity of unicorns and pegasi which add an additional fantasy element. "
with this:
"My Little Pony appealed to children on multiple fronts. The ponies appealed to both the horse lovers and those drawn to fantasy and magic. The softer vinyl meant they were more hug-able and harder to break while the brush-able hair provided an alternative to fashion dolls."
I decided to leave out the part about unicorns and pegasi to make room for the new parts.
so draft #3
Spoiler
My Little Pony
For centuries the horse was humanity’s primary mode of transportation, inspiring art and poetry. It is no small wonder then that the horse has also been a common theme in children’s toys from the simplest rocking horse to the work of art that is an elaborately carved carousel steed. As technologies evolved, so too did toy horses yielding ever more faithful reproductions.
That is until 1982 when Hasbro introduced an entirely new type of horse toy.
The year previously Hasbro brought to market My Pretty Pony which was a large hard plastic pony, created by illustrator Bonnie Zacherle and sculptor Charles Muenchinger with brush-able hair and mechanical features typically popular for the era. However, My Pretty Pony was only a moderate success.
Going back to the drawing board, Hasbro launched My Little Pony the following year. Unlike the realistic horse toys of the time, My Little Ponies were small, soft and brightly colored, each with a unique painted design on either flank. Hasbro’s new ponies were massively popular. An estimated 150 million were sold worldwide during the 1980’s.
My Little Pony appealed to children on multiple fronts. The ponies appealed to both the horse lovers and those drawn to fantasy and magic. The softer vinyl meant they were more hug-able and harder to break while the brush-able hair provided an alternative to fashion dolls. Marketing of My Little Pony in this era leaned heavily on the collectability aspect of the brand resulting in hundreds of individual characters.
The first generation of My Little Pony lasted from 1982 to 1992 in the United States and until 1995 in some international markets. It included two tv specials, a full length animated movie, and two television shows plus merchandise of everything from clothing to housewares, books, games and electronics.
Since the original line of My Little Pony, Hasbro has rebranded roughly once a decade with variable success. With each new rebranding a new generation of My Little Pony is born, from the 1997 Generation 2 to the 2003 Generation 3 to the current Generation 4 which started in 2010 and is ongoing.