Coming out

[June]

That was really brave, you should be really proud of yourself! You may feel anxious now, but you will soon fell better because you got it off your chest. I don't have a story to share or give you any advice except that those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter.
I wish you the best of luck! 

[Neon Sparkle]

Congratulations, I am very happy for you!

I just came out on here as Trans(?) last week, I really don't know exactly what to refer to myself as but I'm not a big fan of labels anyway. All I know is that I identify much more as Female than I do as Male, and although I don't plan on transitioning at the moment, if someone could wave a magic wand at me and turn me into a Woman right now I would do it with no question. So, if I were female right now I guess I would be a Lesbian, but I guess that's not quite the same thing, lol.

I haven't really come out to a large amount of people yet, just on here and to a few trustworthy friends, but it does feel good to get the weight off of my shoulders and not have keep it a total secret anymore. I don't really know if I'll be telling anyone else as far as family or friends in the near future though, it's just not something I see going over too well.

I am so glad we have such an inclusive, diverse community here at the Arena though. I don't really know too many people here very well but I always feel like this is a safe place to talk about things.

Anyway, I do hope everything goes well for you!

[True]

I think you're suuuper brave for coming out.
Iv never come out, at least to my irl family and friends, as I know how it would be received lol.
Iv sorta come out on the internet, Iv never had an official "coming out as trans/bi" topic xD but I'm sure, based on my comments around the internet, it wouldn't be that hard to guess.

I suggest if you have trouble from friends and family, try and talk to them about it. Id also say that if they truly loved you they would still love you, but I know how hard it can be to suddenly have a family member hate you for something thats a big part of you. I think Id try really hard to help them understand. >.<

[Mirnyj]

Blushes, you're super brave! Congratulations on having the courage to be yourself! And Mimic, I'm so sorry you got treated that way. That person really deserves to have fakies thrown at them. 

[Wardah]

It seems mothers are often disappointed in anything that might prevent them from having grandchildren. Even if you are straight and chose to be childfree, unless you have siblings who have babies, they still try with the whole "you'll change your mind" business. If they want to mother something so bad they should get a small yappy dog or a cat.

[kaoskat]

I'm afraid I don't understand at all. I've never felt the need to hide anything about myself, even the things that everyone else seems to. I can't imagine how frightening it would be. I am very grateful I've never been in that position. Just because I can't begin to understand what you must be going through, doesn't mean I don't realize how hard it must have been. I wish you luck and I hope that those you've always believe cared about you really do. If they don't, it'll still be ok, because now you will meet new people who do and you won't have to hide anymore. I imagine that will be very liberating. I mean....Like I said I have no clue in the world, but it seems like it would be.

[Galactica]

I'm so glad you are doing it, and I wish you luck.  The only thing I can warn you about though is to give your family and friends some time.  I know people SAY that they should accept you no matter what, but I think sometimes it is a shock, and it takes people a while to get over their preconceived ideas/prejudices.  Parents especially have this idea about who they want you to be (especially ideas about your husband/wife/kids) and it is hard for them to let that go.   

My mom reacted very poorly at first, but once she understood that it really was the way I was, and it didn't turn me into a different person, she was better, and after a couple of years, completely fine.  Now she is downright supportive and is completely "out" about having a gay daughter even (which I thought of as a big step). 

I wanted to come out to my high-school best friend right after we graduated. Basically I asked her what she would think if I told her if I was gay.  She was apologetic but basically told me that she had been taught/believed per her church, that being gay meant that you were possessed by a demon. Needless to say, we stopped being friends.  After that reaction, and then the thing with my mom, I didn't tell any of my other high school friends, I just withdrew from them completely.   Honestly I became a bit suicidal and it was a dark chapter of my life that is still difficult to think about.

Things got better though, completely!  And years later, after I had graduated from college and was in graduate school, I actually looked up all my old friends from high school again, and it turns out at least three from our pack of five were gay, including my FORMERLY religious friend who had told me that being gay = possessed.  She even moved up to San Francisco and was my roommate for a while.  I was easily able to forgive her, because her church had some seriously messed up ideas about a lot of things.

I am sure things will go a lot smoother for you.  I came out in 1995 and that was Pre-Ellen, and seriously things were a lot different then, and it was a more stressful/sad time to be gay.  nearly 20 years later, things have come a lONG WAY and I am scornful or sorry for people I meet now that have a problem with my being gay or having a wife.  I think it also helps that I now live in a big liberal city instead of a small redneck town, which I think makes a world of difference. 

[shimmer73083]

Congratulations, Blushes!  Coming out is not easy and was something I procrastinated on to my parents for awhile.  When I finally came out to them (most of my friends and other family members knew) they said duh!  They are now having to face the issue of my girlfriend and I getting married...not something easy for them as they like to keep up appearances.  I sometimes feel as if they love the bits and pieces of me instead of all of me, though that is wrong of me to say.  They are great people, just trying to find a way to handle their daughter's sexual orientation.

It is something that will take time however and I still have a difficult time dealing with acceptance.  The pony community is great though because it is a place I can be myself and not get judged.  Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk!

[Blushes]

Thank you so much for sharing Galactica & Shimmer73083 I really appreciate sharing your story and Galactica wow you are just so brave. You're really an inspiration.

[ZennaBug]

What Kat said. I hope your family is being understanding. Coming out is a brave step and you should be proud for doing it. Any friends you lose we're never your friends to begin with. We won't think any differently of you here, at the very least.

[Blushes]

Thank you Zennabug <3 My FB friends have actually been ridiculously supportive, it's amazing. Thank goodness for pony friends though, you've all be so wonderful and kind to me, I really appreciate it so much, thank you all <3

[BlackCurtains]

You're more brave than I

I've got a couple of toes out of the closet I'm mostly out online as transgender in the places I've been most active. Except for my main Facebook profile (though I have another under my preferred name). I have switched my gender on FB but it's private and I changed my pronouns to 'they/their' ... I'm sure people who don't know at least know something is up. It's killing me though I really want to change my name. I thought about changing my first name to an initial but FB won't let me do that.

I have "friends" who know my parents and my sister on my FB, which is why I'm still not out completely on it. I don't think my family will take it well. It's so much easier when you're younger, I think. I'm 31. I know a lot of people transition later in life. Heck, I know one transwoman who just started hormone therapy and she's in her 50s. But it sure makes me feel stupid. I always knew. Just didn't think I could do something about it. Then depression consumed me for a decade and... here I am. On the cusp of starting over with a chance at real happiness. Only the roadblock of family stands in my way. Ugh.

I'm so happy for people who can come out Even if things don't always go the way they should, it shows an incredible amount of courage. Good for you!

[Rosencrantz]

You wanted stories?

Okay, when I was 12 I found out what bisexual was and was like 'oh, so that's what's going on!' and told my mom on the way back from groceries. 'Oh by the way, I'm bi'

Mom: yeah, okay.

And then when I was twenty or so, I realized it'd be easier to just say it so I ducked my head into my mom's study while she was working and went 'by the way, I'm a guy'

Mom: well, YEAH

So those are my coming out stories

Post Merge: August 17, 2014, 06:06:45 PM

Oh, and my facebook has always said 'male' and uses the name I prefer, but no one's ever really asked so that's that.

[rearing_palomino164]

Never be afraid of who you are or to show it. If you lose friends they weren't true ones to begin with. You got this.

[Sky_Rocket_Sammie]

Wishing you all the best. Your true friends will stick by your side no matter what.
I've lost friends over the years while coming out as bi and trans. But the ones I've made, the ones that truly don't care. That accept me for me, that's helped.  And the life I've lived has helped.

My Mom was always my biggest supporter, it never phased her one bit. All she wanted for me was that I was safe and happy. And I'm getting there over the past year and a half.

Thing is if people give you crud, having people in your corner. That care for you and you know have your back. That gives you strength.