What do you call a cow with no legs?

[ponylady]

How do you catch a polar bear?
First you cut a hole in the ice, then place peas all around it.
Wait....
And when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Sorry my husband came up with that one.

[mlp4me]

What has two humps and is found at the North Pole?
A lost camel!

[clones_rebellion]

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases?  They're making headlines.

My favorite one so far!


Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Two pigs fell into a mud puddle.

[ViciousJupiter]

Lol these are all awesome.  Thanks guys!

[Talismarr]

A girl married a Spanish man and went to Spain
.
.
She can't speak Spanish
Each time she wanted to buy Chicken Drumsticks at the market,
she would lift her skirt and show her thighs to so the seller would understand her.

One day she wanted to buy Bananas, she took her husband to shop.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he speaks Spanish. What did you think I was gonna say?

This one, oh my gosh


What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art!

[WeepingPiano]

Two biscuits are sitting in an oven.
One biscuit turns to the other and says, "Boy it is getting hot in here"
The second biscuit wips around with a shocked expression and gasps, "OMG! A TALKING BISCUIT!"

[BlackCurtains]

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
  -Good food.  No atmosphere.

 

[EmberBright]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves?
Russell. (Rustle? Get it?! Just to go with Bob and Art... )


What do you call a dog with no legs and steel balls?
Sparky


A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "we don't serve ropes here," and kicks him out. The rope goes out to the parking lot, ties himself up and rubs himself on the ground, then walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you a rope?" The rope says, "No, I'm a frayed knot!" (afraid not)

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but I don't know how they got in there!

[Repulsive333]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves?
Russell. (Rustle? Get it?! Just to go with Bob and Art... )


What do you call a dog with no legs and steel balls?
Sparky


A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "we don't serve ropes here," and kicks him out. The rope goes out to the parking lot, ties himself up and rubs himself on the ground, then walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you a rope?" The rope says, "No, I'm a frayed knot!" (afraid not)

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but I don't know how they got in there!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[SheRa-dude]

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?


Make me one with everything ^_^


(hope that didn't offend any practicing Buddhists)

I'm kind of into Buddhism, and I loooove this joke !!!

[CrystalCrown]

two peanuts walked into a bar. one was assaulted

[Eviecorn]

How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue!

What do you get when you cross a T-rex with fireworks?
Dino-mite!

What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.

[BlackCurtains]

A wizard turns into a bar.

[SaphTalon]

What to do in a boring sermon.
1.Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.
2. Roll marbles under the pew and see how many reach the other side

Oh and this is classic at my church
• Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.

[Oneleo1]

What do you get when you combine half of a chicken, 2/3 of a cat, and half of a goat?

CHI-CA-GO!