The Trivial Complaints Thread ... #3

[Taffeta]

I can relate both to the need to express things to get it all clear from the brain, and the annoyance of parents who don't always get that (although mine are actually better these days). I learned that my mother doesn't actually have a very long attention span for discussions (At least, it's probably a normalish attention span, but on the short side of normal). She's also the kind who when something is upsetting, she wants to step back and take a break from it - whereas I need to have it resolved somehow so that I can draw a line under it and that makes us clash.

I mention this, Ponyfan, in case it's like that with you and your mother. Your way of processing stuff that's stressful sounds a bit more like mine - in the sense that it's all crowded in your head and you need to get some of it out before it explodes or you overload. But if your mother is struggling to see you upset, she might actually be putting up a barrier without realising it to protect herself, or feel that you are hurting yourself more by continuing to worry about it, because if it were her in your place, she would find that upsetting.

I don't know if that made sense, but it's how it sounds to me. 40ish years of being at sometimes crossed purposes with my mother over some stuff has made both of us recognise more those clear differences in our way of handling stressful and upsetting stuff.

Sometimes I rant more to my Dad, but mostly the ranting interface for me is my sister. When we were kids, she often played mediator between Mum and I when we misunderstood each other.

My processing stuff is exacerbated sometimes by the autism, which makes everything much more significant or serious than it might be seen/felt by someone not on the spectrum. So I don't know how much my experience relates to yours in that regard. But I do think you and your mum may be at crossed purposes. She's also probably worried about your medical procedure, and doesn't understand that your talking about the book situation is part of your processing that stress as well.

In any case . You can always rant here.

In other news, I did get my tooth fixed, yesterday. I'm now utterly paranoid about it coming out again though *sigh*.

[Ponyfan]

Ponyfan - I totally get where you're coming from. IDK why things have to screw up when you're already worried about stuff... I get why your Mum might be annoyed with the topic and that's fair enough, I suppose, but there's better ways of saying things, you know? Like... idk what your medical procedure is but she does, and I know you always explain your feelings well (ironically idk if I worded that in a way that made sense ^^' Hopefully you get what I mean), so she must know what you're going through right now?? Gah. I ramble too much about stuff sometimes but it's just to clear my head out, I think it's better than letting your brain get all clogged up with worries and such.

I can relate both to the need to express things to get it all clear from the brain, and the annoyance of parents who don't always get that (although mine are actually better these days). I learned that my mother doesn't actually have a very long attention span for discussions (At least, it's probably a normalish attention span, but on the short side of normal). She's also the kind who when something is upsetting, she wants to step back and take a break from it - whereas I need to have it resolved somehow so that I can draw a line under it and that makes us clash.

I mention this, Ponyfan, in case it's like that with you and your mother. Your way of processing stuff that's stressful sounds a bit more like mine - in the sense that it's all crowded in your head and you need to get some of it out before it explodes or you overload. But if your mother is struggling to see you upset, she might actually be putting up a barrier without realising it to protect herself, or feel that you are hurting yourself more by continuing to worry about it, because if it were her in your place, she would find that upsetting.

I don't know if that made sense, but it's how it sounds to me. 40ish years of being at sometimes crossed purposes with my mother over some stuff has made both of us recognise more those clear differences in our way of handling stressful and upsetting stuff.

to everyone 

Carrehz and Taffeta, I think you both hit the nail on the head.   My mom's and my way of processing things are different.  I feel like if I keep it all inside it's going to be worse than if I try to talk to someone else about it.  I have to admit that I overanalyze things a lot and worry about things that a lot of other people wouldn't give a second thought to. That probably contributes to my mom getting annoyed at me so much because she can't understand why it's such a big deal to me in the first place or why I have to keep going on about it.  Since my health hasn't been the best lately I've been more stressed out and worried about more things that usually ended up being nothing. 

Unfortunately, we've reached an impasse about this.   She told me last night that the only way to make things right between us again was to stop talking about it.  I don't agree at all but again, it's her way or else.  She even accused me last night of deliberately not asking my dr for a refill on a prescription (one that I only need sometimes).  That's not true at all.  We talked about that prescription a few times and I asked if she thought I should ask the dr for another refill and she said no.  I just can't seem to make her understand that she says hurtful things sometimes and her  "just deal with it/get over it" attitude doesn't help the situation.  *sigh*  She does apologize sometimes, but  then gets upset if I try to tell her how much she hurt my feelings.


Ponyfan

[Carrehz]

That's what frustrates me, that she won't listen to your side of things. I can see it from her side of things too, but I can't understand why she won't try to at least come to some sort of compromise with you, see things from YOUR point of view. Gah. I hope things work out soon <3

[BlackCurtains]

I'm not sleeping again and I think I'm having a manic episode. I feel like I've got a bunch of energy but my body says "ugh, no" when I try to do something. My back and legs are so bad. I can't get my mail anymore, I'm having the neighborhood kids do it. I haven't been to see my mom in like three weeks. Luckily, her room is near the lobby, but you have to stand and wait for the door to unlock and standing in one spot is like knocking my legs out from under me.

I'm still retaining water from my heart stuff too. I feel very bloated and my shirt keeps rolling up on me.

I'm tired but my brain is like "do eeeeeeeeeeeeverything!" and then I can't focus.

Post Merge: June 22, 2023, 11:11:11 AM

My new medicine should be ready today

Anyway, I need to complain again.

I am so sick of being lowballed on everything I'm selling. Since when is selling online an invitation to haggle? If I was open to offers, I would say, I'm open to offers. The price is there. If you can pay the price, you get the item. That's it. End of.

I'm talking more Facebook marketplace or FB groups than the Arena.

[Taffeta]

So I just read my local councillor the riot act on why oiling geese eggs is a Very Bad Thing for the Council to do. I did it politely as I don't know 100% they were behind the nests failing, but they have done it in the past and he didn't confirm or deny it. It's so cruel, the poor parent birds are so bereft when their eggs don't hatch, and our local geese are genuinely LOVELY birds. Very friendly, so smart and have entertained generations of kids with their antics. Part of the highlight of living here is seeing the fluffles grow up.

What infuriates me is that the people complaining about them almost certainly moved here after they were already there. The ponds are the oldest part of our region, along with the area we live in. You don't move here and not know there are water birds. To move here then complain about them and try to get the Council to intervene is low and pathetic.

So anyway. I did that.

Also, if I have to read one more entitled article about a famous person 'going through a grieving process' because their kid got diagnosed with autism, I'll scream.

It's not that I'm undermining parental struggles, but the terminology is really offensive.

[Ponyfan]

That's what frustrates me, that she won't listen to your side of things. I can see it from her side of things too, but I can't understand why she won't try to at least come to some sort of compromise with you, see things from YOUR point of view. Gah. I hope things work out soon <3

I tried to talk to her about it again to today and we made a little progress.  She still insists that I can't talk about the bookstore membership anymore or at least until the credit card statement comes in.  She said today that it was because she thought it was better than us "fighting" about it.  I didn't see it as fighting.  It was more processing and trying to work things out from my perspective.   I know I was obsessed about it, but I couldn't help it.  Part of it was also, thinking that "if A doesn't work , that means B won't work which means C won't work etc..."  Also as I explained earlier, it was something that I thought would be easily taken care of before my medical procedure.  My mom thinks that I should be able to work through stuff the first time and not keep dwelling on it.

My mom did say that she shouldn't have said that I was deliberately not refilling my medication.   

Yesterday she bought me a present since I have to have the medical procedure.  She also asked me if there were new books that I wanted, but I said something about the major series that I usually try to get right away didn't have new books out.

I asked my mom today if she expected me to tell her when I wanted to go to the bookstore after the way she's been on my case about the membership and she just said, "You usually tell me when you want to go."

I also asked her how she would feel if I said the same things she said to me to her and she said "I probably wouldn't like it either." but that's as far as that part of the conversation went.

I wish I could make her understand that when she gets that way it makes me really reluctant to talk to her about stuff.  I have actually gotten a few emails about the bookstore membership. I can't tell though if it's because the payment went through or because I upgraded my membership with a month left before the old one expired.  I'm supposed to get a tote bag as a membership gift, but so far I haven't gotten anything that says I can claim it yet.


Taffeta, reading about the oiling of the gesse eggs makes me very sad for the geese. 


Ponyfan

[Ponybookworm]

I got sent a cheque.
In this day & age, when banks close everywhere & the few which are open have minimal staff & few opening hours. i have to catch a bus, go to town, find a branch of my bank, hope it's open, & physically put the cheque in.
Fortunately I have another thing I need to take a bus for (posting a package as our Post Office is closed since late last year), but all this hassle??? Me no like...

[BlackCurtains]

Oiling eggs? Isn't oil like SUPER BAD for birds??? Does it harm the adults too? How cruel.

Speaking of cruelty, I just sprayed for ants who were going around the WHOLE living room, the WHOLE kitchen and down almost the entire hallway to where they were coming out of the attic door. I have been battling them for weeks. I think it's time I tell maintenance. They might make me pay for it, since I've sprayed, but I have to get rid of them.

Oh, and what they were after was a bowl that had some cucumber dressing in the bottom in the sink. It has both oil and sugar in it, so I bet it was tasty for them. But they're dead now.

And I'm choking on the fumes from the Raid. I'm going to have to rewash the dishes in the strainer and wash all of Aster's stuff and give her fresh food. I tried not to spray directly over this stuff but I could see droplets on the dishes in the light and I just want to make sure with Aster.

Hate ants. Hate them.

[Taffeta]

@Ponyfan, BC, I don't know what kind of oil they use, but yes, I agree that it is cruel.

And you only have to see the parent birds lingering around the failed nest to know that they care and it hurts them on a level beyond as well.

The bigger threat to everyone in this area is the rise in antisocial dogs off the lead, but you can guarantee the council won't try and restrict dog numbers or enforce dogs on leads in public areas. But oil the eggs of innocent birds who offer so much to the community? Yeah. So anyway.

I don't 100% know that's what they did, but it seems possible.

The geese have had the last laugh, though. The geese families from down the road are still here. Nineteen goslings and 3 sets of parents now exploring merrily through the area. I hope they go and poop on the gardens of the people who complain about them.

Yes, that sounds harsh, but you have to realise two key things about the people who complain.

#1 the birds were here first, you don't move into an area knowing they're a local feature and then try and ruin it for everyone. Go live somewhere else.

and #2
Most of the whiners are the aforementioned antisocial dog owners, and they claim the geese are aggressive because they let their dogs off the lead near the chicks.

So yeah. Bring on the poop.

@BC ants inside are a big problem o.O. We sometimes have a surge of the black ants but fortunately no big swarm for a while (touch wood). We also have amber ants in our garden but they're less unfriendly. They hide under pots and if you expose them they run away and hide again. They're also quite beautiful because they really are like amber.

[BlackCurtains]

These are the same ants I've been dealing with for literal years now. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the same colony. They're the tiny little grease ants. They bite, but they are so small you can barely feel it, feels like an itch. They are so hard to get rid of because the are so small I think they are immune to most bug spray. If you spray them directly, they die, but like Raid is known for leaving a bug barrier behind and most insects (and even some lizards) will get poisoned being near it, but these ants it doesn't phase them. I sprayed a barrier around Aster's food area (with it all picked up beforehand, of course) thinking it would stop them, but the next day they were marching across it like it wasn't even there. My mom keeps telling my to use bleach. I have some, from when I had those fruit flies, I'd pour it down the drains. But I hate the smell of bleach and it gives me a headache.

---

My complaint today and last night - there's a cat hair in my ear and it's very itchy and sore. I have a little wax scraper with a light and camera that connects to my phone, so I can see inside my ears. I've been trying since last night to get it out. It's curved over my eardrum so it's quite hard to reach. Add to that the fact my ear is all red and sore inside, most likely from the hair, and any little bump to the skin hurts. I think I'm going to have to flush it out and try not to give myself vertigo in the process.

[Carrehz]

I NEED to pack today, but it's soooo hot. x___o;

edit: YEOOWWW... I just reached into the basket to give my sleeping kitty Miney some scritches/pets and she FLIPPED OUT and scratched up my hand. Must've been in a deeeeep sleep and woken up with a jolt. I'm not annoyed at her cause she didn't mean it, but ouch x__x *rubs wrist* Never seen that happen before.

[Ponyfan]

I NEED to pack today, but it's soooo hot. x___o;

edit: YEOOWWW... I just reached into the basket to give my sleeping kitty Miney some scritches/pets and she FLIPPED OUT and scratched up my hand. Must've been in a deeeeep sleep and woken up with a jolt. I'm not annoyed at her cause she didn't mean it, but ouch x__x *rubs wrist* Never seen that happen before.

I'm sorry that happened Carrehz. 


I'm so tired.  I feel like all of my energy has left my body. 

Not a complaint, but I wanted to post an update on the bookstore membership.  It went through just fine the day after I was at the store.  It was on the credit card statement.


Ponyfan

[Carrehz]

Thanks It's alright though. I was more annoyed with myself for scaring her than anything else.

Ahh I'm so glad everything's been sorted with the bookshop!

My trivial complaint for today: how is it nearly midnight already?! It feels like it was 4 pm five minutes ago. x_x Still sooo much to do. Gah.

[BlackCurtains]

I'm glad the bookstore worked out too

I had a cat that would fall asleep while being loved on and then she'd wake up and freak out, sometimes biting me. I just learned to live with it, lol.

My complaint is I'm sooooo tired. I wanted to work on ponies today but it's already getting dark. I prefer working in natural light although I do have an Ottlite, which is full spectrum. It just doesn't light up my whole desk.

I got my new medicine and the first two common side effects are sleepiness and insomnia. I have both of those already! I don't understand how I can be so tired I can't keep my eyes open yet be unable to sleep.

[Beth3346]

I'm glad everything worked out with the bookstore

my dog does that sometimes. not the biting part but she sleeps on the bed with us most nights and sometimes when one of us rolls over she barks and jumps off the bed. i'm a restless sleeper so sometimes we have a rough night.

my complaint today is work is stressing me out. there was some drama happening that i had to let my manager know about. since it's affecting my team's ability to do our work. luckily i'm taking a long weekend for the July 4th holiday. i need some time away before i say something i regret.

Last year i was doing a lot better with dealing with work stress. i'm not sure what's going on with me but today i just want to cry. i feel like everything is spinning out of control and i just want to get away from it. but i don't have that option. i'm also having some issues with not wanting to eat which is something that happens when i get really stressed out.