Blackmail and putting people off to buy from me

[robinharper]

Hello,

I hope I have the right thread here.  I have a problem with a person who was interested in buying My Little Pony from me. However when I refused to accept her offer, she tried to blackmail me and when I pointed out to her that I don't sell to blackmailers, she started a campaign against me causing me to have a bad name amongst Dutch speaking My Little Pony lovers.

Here is a quick recap:

So, last week I had a lot of My Little Pony on a second hand site, namely Marktplaats.nl.  This buyer contacted me, wanting to know how much I wanted for the lot.  I gave her the price I was hoping to raise with the lot and then she got back to me asking if she could just buy three Ponies of the lot.  I told her politely no.  The ones she wanted were the ones everyone was after - I had already gotten several similar questions from other buyers - and if I took them out of the lot, I would stay stuck with the rest.  The rest being Ponies not in perfect shape anymore cause they had pen marks on a leg or so.  She however knew an easy and perfect working way to get rid of the pen and she would tell me after she had put her children to bed.  I didn't hear back from her. 
A few days later I asked her if she was willing to share the tip still cause I have some Ponies in my own collection with some pen here or there and it would be great to get the pen off.  There everything went sour.
She told me she would only give me the tip if I gave her the three Poinies she had requested.  After all as I was being a MLP collector myself, I had an obligation to help other MLP collectors out and she wanted those three Ponies. 
I mailed back that I didn't give in to blackmail.
She mailed back saying suddenly that it had all been a big joke but that if I didn't have any sense of humor, taht she wouldn't tell me the tip after all.
I mailed back, telling her that to me her message hadn't come across over at all as a joke but as a serious attempt to get the Ponies (an opinion that got later supported and backed up by the commission that investigated the matter - more on that further down)  I also asked her to not bid anymore in the future on any of my items as I wouldn't sell to her anymore, explaining that I don't like people who blackmail.  Never have and never will, and that I prefer to stay away from people who blackmail to get what they want.  I also told her that I had removed my bids on her items for the similar reason and that I wouldn't buy from her.  Further I also told her that I hoped that she didn't give her children (who also collect other kind of toys) the same values cause it isn't fun for collectors to get confronted with blackmail like this. 
She mailed me back that I was crazy and childish and that I was off my rocker cause suddenly she didn't have any kids anymore ... (sadly I still had the mail from her in which she pspoke of her kids and that was also handed in later on to the commission to proof to them that I hadn't made the kids up)
I mailed her back that I had assumed she had kids since she herself had spoken of them in an earlier mail to which I referred.
Next I got a mail from her saying she had reported me to  marktplaats.nl to get my selling account cancelled and that she was getting everyone she knew and that bought MLP to never buy from me anymore.  For this she was using her facebook account and she had already a large amount of people who would never buy from me anymore ...
She did indeed report me to marktplaats.nl, sadly enough for her I had luckily all our mails having gone back and forth still to which I gave the commission access and the result is that my name was cleared by them.  I still have my account yet she has in her file now a note about that she has tried to blackmail another seller and that she tried to get another seller's account suspended by uttering false accusations.  With other words, she probably also lied to marktplaats.nl to try and get my account suspended.

But whilst this is solved, my name is tarnished and I have no way to clear my name.  I have no facebook and I have no clue how far her poison regarding me has spread.  I have had two people who suddenly cancelled their sale to me without wanting to tell me why - I take it is due to this since the Ponies are still on the site and for sale so it isn't that they were sold to someone else for a higher price - and no one Dutch speaking seems to be willing to buy MLP from me anymore ...  Thinking that she will be so fair as to come out to everyone and say that she had been in the wrong and that I am a good seller after all, is probably too much to ask so what now?

Has anyone ever had anything similar happening to them?  And could they change the tide?  And if so, how?  I could use some tips and help.

Hugs
  Robin 

[lovesbabysquirmy]

Awkward situation!  If you did not want to sell your ponies to her in the first place, why did you keep messaging her though?  Any kind of spot removal questions can be asked here - our community is more knowledgeable than any one single person. 

I don't see her message coming across as blackmail at all, I see it as aggressive and manipulative but there weren't any repercussions to ignoring her.  Blackmail is when someone is able to "hold something over you".  If you had given her your bank info for payment and she refused to pay AND posted the info all over the internet?  That's blackmail.  Just saying, "I want your ponies under these terms" is not blackmail as they don't have anything of value to you should you say "no".

Some people just send aggressive messages and you are under NO obligation to respond to them.  Sometimes responding makes it worse.  I do think it was a little bit of an over-reaction to block her from bidding on all your items just because you rejected an earlier offer from her, unreasonable as it was.  If she was willing to pay your asking price for some other ponies without haggling and complaining, why wouldn't you want to sell them?  As I understand, sales on Marketplaats are different from Ebay - if she sends the money, you can refund her and say no; people make many Trader Support posts about the deal they bought on this site but now the seller won't part with it.

Oh and by the way?  You are under NO obligation to help another collector just because they are one.  You can give a gift, or sell an item, but you don't HAVE to "share the pony wealth" unless money has traded hands.   You could set up a trash can fire outside a meet and toss ponies in it, one by one... :-p

I say... lay low for a bit on your local sellers market and post again in a few months.  Stick with other communities like the Arena and the MLPTP.  Remain professional - you can ask for advice here on any aspect of buying/selling/trading/cleaning/collecting.  Once you have earned good feedback, nobody cares that one time in your life you got embroiled in an email conflict with someone.  It's not the end of the world!    *pony hugs* 

[Moonbreeze]

 Oh man... I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I agree with lovesbabysquirmy on most points.

It's either a hit or a miss on marktplaats and I had some bad experiences myself on that site, but none as bad as yours. A fellow dutchie shared this topic with me via Facebook. So I hope it will help you eventually

if you want to speak to me via the pm. I have an inkling or two...

*edit for a weird use of grammar

[hokuspokus]

I am sorry to hear about your very negative experience, Robin. And i totally understand you would not want to deal with such a person any more on your other auctions. If someone is trying to manipulate you and being rude and even offensive, i also would not want to have to deal with them, no matter if they offer asking prices on other auctions whatsoever.

Since i am also a Dutch member, i'm kinda wondering who is acting up like this. She tried to manipulate you, called you crazy, reported you to marktplaats because you told her no (very mature... not!) and treatened you to make you look like a bad person if you did not give her what she wanted. I personally would be very happy to hear who it was, so i can stay away from that person. I do not deal with rude bullies.

Like Moonbreeze said, feel free to PM me also; i am very sorry that you are feeling down and scared that this person is ruining your name while you did nothing wrong.  Very good that Marktplaats knew what was going on via your proof of messages!

PS: If you are ever looking for a specific pony, feel free to ask, like i said i am in the Netherlands too and would be very willing to give you an honest chance in buying

[robinharper]

To lovesbabysquirmy,
I know, I am a fool.  I have been kicking myself over the head about this too already a few times     As to why I asked her anew, she claimed she knew a trick that not many know off, not even certain Pony forums and the tricks I had gotten here already, all had failed ...  I did ask here first, don't worry.
I don't want to sell to her anymore as in the past when I was younger I already had to deal with people like her in my schoolyears and I have gotten a big distate for people who resort then to such tactics.  I am sorry, that is just how I feel about it.  I want my Ponies to go to good homes and this is just me, but I don't want them to go to homes with people like that.  I know you never know for sure to whom you sell, but if people show their real face, then sorry ...  Call it part of my personality, but something just blocks within me then.
Sadly, the site has no option to leave feedback about buys and such so there is no way to let people know I do sell good stuff and aren't all she claims I am. 

To Moonbreeze,
That is also one of the reasons I finally decided to post here after all.  As far as I was concerned it was a dispute, a disagreement between two people and I had been more than willing to keep it that way.  But cause she dragged other people into it ... well, I have to try something to try and get my side of the story out there.  Especially since the commission she draged me in front off, decided I hadn't made a single fault.  I thought that they would decide that we had both been in the wrong and that e were wasting their time with this as this was a simple dispute between just two persons, but well, in the end they ruled against her completely and even find what she did bad enough to get two marks against her.  Somehow that already says something, I would think.
I will PM you in a sec the details of the account since you have an inkling ...

To hokuspokus,
I will PM you the details in a sec, but please, decide for yourself.  If you never had a problem with her and already bought from her and are happy with the sales, then by all means, feel free to keep buying there.  To me this was a dispute between two people and should have stayed that way.  If she hadn't started to drag other people into it all, I would have stayed quiet too, but now I just want to try and clear my name a bit. 

Thanks to all for the kind words already.  It is good to hear that there are here already people from the Netherlands who she hasn't been able to influence at least.  Gives me hope.

Hugs
  Robin

[ponylady]

It's an unfortunate situation but I wouldn't necessarily consider it to be blackmail. This type of thing happens all the time and I am yet to see that it has influenced anyone to not buy from someone. They are your ponies after all and you are free to do as you wish when it comes to selling them. I mean if you not selling just the three ponies alone has turned other people off from buying from you, then I probably wouldn't want to do business with those folks to begin with.

On another note, are you positive she drug other people into it? It could just be a coincidence that two other people canceled their bids. If you have proof of this, can you please  post it? It just doesn't seem fair to be PMing folks, regarding who it is, unless you have actual proof she did.   

[robinharper]

Ponylady,

I am sorry, but she is rude, a bully, insulting, keeps spreading lies and calls me a liar who made the whole thing up whilst I have in black and white still her mails to proove everything I put up here has happened. 

She has scammed many people and even if only half of the stories I have heard about her so far are true, then she is a shame for the MLP community.  It is no wonder she is banned from several MLP groups already. 

And whilst she is the one who insisted not to get a single mail from me anymore cause she doesn't want to deal with me anymore, she feels she has the right to keep sending me insulting mails.  I blocked her one account and so now she used a different seller account.  I am sorry.  But if I never have to deal with her anymore anywhere, it is too soon.  She takes no responsibility and still claims she didn't do anything wrong at all whilst independing people have decided she is in the wrong.

As for proof that she put other people off.  How can I get that when the bought items were reserved, the mailing was going okay until she suddenly started her campaign against me and I don't hear from either person anymore despite having sent them a few mails?  Thyey aren't sick or incapitated cause the "reserved" was taken off the adds so they could have sent me something back.

Maybe the term blackmail isn't rightly used.  I am sorry.  English is my third language.  Not sure how to call what she does and has done with me or at least tried to do with me.  But what she did is manipulating, bullying and far more.

If you want to defend her, that is your right, but I doubt many people here will feel the same way about that.  Same for other MLP forums it seems.

Hugs
  Robin

[ponylady]

I want to get something straight, I am not defending her. I also am not condoning her behavior. I simply asked if there was proof she was manipulating your sales and spreading rumors. If this is the case then her name needs to be brought up and posted here. It's one sided at this point. Thus again me asking for proof and not taking it behind the scenes. I am sorry but as a Mod it is my job to find out the whole story. I am sorry if that upsets you but we are here to make sure things stay fair, especially since you are now saying she has been banned from other MLP communities. If this is true then a Mod needs to be contacted.
 

[Moonbreeze]

I'll try to set a little misunderstanding straight. I mainly contacted RobinHarper because things are going on on Facebook to which she does not have access and her topic has been forwarded to one of the groups there.

She has not been banned from any groups there (as far as I know. Maybe someone else here can correct me, since I'm not really active on FB myself). But a number of people just don't want to deal with her again because of her behaviour. *edit* I just heard that she was about to be deleted from a dutch FB group, but went out herself before that happened. Probably after what Yum-Yum wrote.

I know 3 other collectors that have had trouble with her and avoid her now. She has blocked them when they tried to post what happened. Most of these things went via Facebook and/or marktplaats.nl and the way this person handles it is through aggressive emails, insults and she keeps on changing facts. Aparently RobinHarper is still receiving emails from her with insults via another account. I think she can provide you these emails (but these need to be translated first ).


So... those were my two cents

[yum-yum]

I too have had a bad experience with said trader (not robin). The only mistake she made is that she picked me. I posted my experience with her on our dutch FB group, so everyone knew what happened. She has blocked me during our transaction, so thing got bad. She's not in my collecting circle anymore.

Anyway, her whole additude is disgraceful. Robin doesn't stand alone in this.

Ponylady it's necessary to get the facts, so no one blames you for asking questions (at least I don't). On every story there are two sides.

[sweetbubbles]

Hi there , the person Robin is talking about is me..

Yes I contacted her if I could buy her whole lot , she told me her price and asked me if I have a good tip toget penmarks of her ponys
 then I thought it was to much so I asked her nicely can I buy only 3 ponys out the lot

she emailed back again and told me no sorry I like to sell the whole lot as one because else she would be stuck with some ponys

oke sounds fair to me and I told her that then I said I needed to take my kids to bed and shall answer her later ..

I totally forgot to answer back because I was busy with my kids and it got late

next day got a message from her if I forgot to email her and if I can give her the tip for the ponys

I emailed her : yes offcourse in trade that I can buy the 3 ponys from you :   <<<---- offcourse this was ment to be a joke but apperently some people do not like jokes

So whitin some seconds I recieved a email back from her  with : I will not let you blackmail me

and omg I was so shocked about that message I told her right away cant people joke anymore

but she said no you where not joking about it you are serious about it you are ashame person for your kids and go on...

then she really got me pissed off sorry NOOne talkes about my kids they had nothing to do with out conversation so as a good mother my instinct came up and I got angry and told her she need to go away and leave me alone that I will contact marktplaats about her behavior and that I will tell my ponyfriends about her..

after that I blocked her for mailing me trough marktplaats I was really angry .. right after that I went to see some good movies with my hubby to make myself calm again ..

So no I did not called marktplaats and I didnt told pony peeps to not deal with you I am so not like that(some other people are)

you are saying marktplaats contacted you because of my message to them : SO NOT TRUE because I didnt contact them
also marktplaats is only interfearing those kind of things if there is a police rapport ... 

now you are saying I am blocked from several pony forums that is also not true thats all lies they are telling you , you are hearing 1 side story and believe them right away
you are saying I am bullying you also not true

yes I have 2 marktplaats accounts as you can see 1 is for selling barbie dolls and my little pony
the other account is from my mom for selling clothes dvd's and other stuff

I have no secrets about that everyone knows this I like to keep it all seperate from eachother

yesterday I send you a normal email and told you my story in it and all you are doing with that is saying I am bullying you sorry ? what am  I missing here ?


and yes I blocked 4 dutch people in facebook ands they all know very well why I blocked them .. spreading lies about me is not very nice

yum yum whe had a bad deal in the past thats absolutely true but you blamed it all on me while you where very bad in the deal also .. you even called me a scammer some weeks ago but I have never ever scammed you ore any other people thats a real bad thing to say and you got me really upset with that word.. so sorry for blocking you but uhhh I do not want those kind of people in my life ... that deal all went good in the end and whe finished that but you keep on mention it every chance you have to make me look bad...

[robinharper]

Will you stop lying?  I am starting to feel the urge to put all your mails up here so everyone can see the lies you spread.

As for that last so claimed "polite" mail;  You do nothing but insult me and people from teh forum here.  If that is polite then we have a different definition of it!

You want to lie?  Fine, but learn to stick to one lie.  You keep changing your lies every five seconds as the mail traffic prooves.  You just can't keep track of your own lies anymore so that in each new mail you sent, you contradict yourself.

And marktplaats did invest you.  I have their mails to me regarding this.  perhaps I wasn't the only one fed up with you and had they more complaints about you and is that why they didn't need the police to be involved.

[Lindsay1988]

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience in your opinion, and I'm not contradicting or judging everything you say. But you are making it sound like she is the most horrible seller/buyer out there. But she is not. I have had (and many other people) multiple transactions with her, and everything is fine. I'm aware that you could have had a different experience, and I'm sorry if you did. But you don't have to make your email public, its a bit rude . Sorry, but I just had to say my experience .

[Loa]

Placing a warning here now - behave!

[LadyPinwheel]

@ sweetbubbles, don’t take this the wrong way, but  sometimes jokes can get misinterpreted in the Internet. So maybe is not that people don’t have a sense of humor, maybe you don’t express your self that well and it ends in a fight. It happens to me all the time with sarcasm (I can't do sarcasm, not even in real life and that has sometimes brought me into trouble). It's a friendly advice. Again, don’t take it the wrong way.