I need some support - I might be a bad trader?!

[Sunshine]

Okay... *deep breath* I need some support here...

I have never done a real "Swap" at the Arena, I've been hoping to get involved in one (a non-custom one) for a while... and I'm trying to learn how they work, what kinds of stuff you include and etc etc etc... Well, I had a couple of private trades going on with some people who I'd definitely consider "close pony friends" now... and I said, "Hey we should do a little like... "fakie swap box"" - fakie as in, not a real SWAP but- just like... things. So... I'm very new at this, but I've had a couple people include random little things in the box that made my day... candy, stickers, maybe something else...

But then today... I get one of my packages in the mail... it was a box of ponies that we traded/purchased from each other. They threw in some candy... but then... they also included an incredibly rare pony that was off my want list... I like... literally cried a little, got choked up, because... in my swap box... I did not give any other ponies inside it... I gave them their ponies, and I included other little surprises with some of their favorite colors/animals/candy/stickers, etc... but... omg, what an idiot I am! I didn't like... even think about including some other pony they wanted...

I feel like I have this issue with... pony stuff! I... never think about that like - giving more ponies and I don't know what's wrong with me... I feel horrible. Like I feel they were SO generous and now they're gonna get their package and it's full of ... "meh"... ya know? Omgosh I'm so worried and it's making me feel so awful... I don't even know what to do. I didn't know if this belonged in WYP or TS... so mods feel free to move it...

I definitely am freaking out a bit. How do I get over this? How do people have the money to be able to do something like that? I really don't... but I definitely could find extra lovelies to include or merch or something. *headdesk* Seriously, how could I be so dumb... I feel like I let my friend down...

[NoDivision]

First of all, relax. I don't think you did anything wrong, and I'm sure your friend will  not be upset with you

It sounds to me like this was just a matter of not having clear guidelines for this "swap." In a group swap on the arena there are very clear guidelines on what sort of things are expected to be sent, including how much money should be spent on ponies, how much on extras, if everything should be from a wishlist, etc. It sounds like you guys didn't discuss that sort of thing in detail in advance, so you went into it with different ideas of what you were doing.

[Sunshine]

First of all, relax. I don't think you did anything wrong, and I'm sure your friend will  not be upset with you

It sounds to me like this was just a matter of not having clear guidelines for this "swap." In a group swap on the arena there are very clear guidelines on what sort of things are expected to be sent, including how much money should be spent on ponies, how much on extras, if everything should be from a wishlist, etc. It sounds like you guys didn't discuss that sort of thing in detail in advance, so you went into it with different ideas of what you were doing.

This is true, we basically were arranging a swap of things that... wouldn't ship to us otherwise, so we were acting as each others "middle man" if you will... then I had suggested including other little things... but I just got blown away by this and I really hope they aren't disappointed.
I definitely realize in a true swap you have a spending limit, buying guidelines, etc - that's why I called it more of a "fakie" swap, heh, I should've said a "noob" swap for me because I def. botched it... I guess a learning experience, but man it just made my heart soar and then sink at the same time...

[Mkia]

It has been my experience that a lot of people in the pony community do random acts of kindness, and they don't expect anything back. For example, in organized swaps...there are plenty of people who go over budget just because they want to make something special for their partner, but only expect the partner buying for them to spend the given minimum.

I don't think you did anything wrong, I think your friend just wanted to surprise you and make your day :]

[nsunshine]

If i was the person who swapped boxes with you and read this post...well that would just make it all worth while, because I am sure they did it because it makes them feel good inside to surprise someone like that. Look at the Thread you just started!!! You are paying gratitude to that person just by doing this! Your acknowledging their kindness, and even though they probally would not have minded either way, this just makes going that extra step well worth it!

Thanks for sharing this, its good to know there are uber nice swappers out there! Good for you for being friends with one!!! Lucky Lady!!!

[NoDivision]

It has been my experience that a lot of people in the pony community do random acts of kindness, and they don't expect anything back. For example, in organized swaps...there are plenty of people who go over budget just because they want to make something special for their partner, but only expect the partner buying for them to spend the given minimum.

I am so so so guilty of this What do you mean a greek nirvana pony isn't in the swap budget? Pfffft.

[Maniah]

It sounds like they did something very sweet for you   If it worries you that much you could always send then a second smaller box with something special in it maybe?

[DazzleKitty]

That fact that you are so worked up for this shows that you are NOT a bad trader.  

So please don't be so hard on yourself.

[Ringlets]

Swap newbie?  maybe yes, bad trader - no, so relax!    Many people in this community are amazing , generous people , and they like to send awesome surprises like that - its even better when the  friend you're planning to send the surprise to is totally unsuspecting I've had some completely wonderful gifts sent to me  and I love and appreciate every single one of them  - I've also sent some surprise gifts to my friends too   I'm almost 100% sure that your friend was not expecting *you* to send something like that in her box in return - she just wanted to send you something really nice as a surprise - an extra to your swap. Lots of us go waaaay over the swap budget for our friends - although its not a swap requirement and we dont expect it for ourselves, so please dont worry that your friend will think you're a bad trader - you arent!.  If you want to thank her with a surprise pressie of your own you can always send her another box later without her knowing  
 

[ponylady]

Since I am reading it as this was basically a trade of sorts and not an actually swap. I think you have been RAOPKed. It's actually quite common in this community for peeps to spread the pony love. Especially if it was something on your wishlist that you may or may not have direct access to.

I wouldn't feel bad as I am sure she did not expect something like that in return.  She just wanted to show you that she appreciates you as a friend. But as Ringlets suggested perhaps in the near future you could send her a little something to show your gratitude.

Congrats on Baby Splish though!     

[himmie]

Certainly do not feel badly about it! You are not a bad trader because you did not include an extra, pricey pony. If you and your trade partner agreed upon a trade and you completed it, that is all that matters. RAOPK are wonderful, but we cannot be expected to do this every time. I have only had one opportunity to do so... I sold a fairly inexpensive pony to someone but later received one in a lot that I felt could be nicer, I sent is as a free surprise later on....

[Sunshine]

Thank you all! I think I might be planning a super secret.... secret! Enough said! I think she lurks. HAHAH

But I do appreciate the support... RAOPK... Pay it forward is what I always try to do in a situation when I "learn" something - and yes, it was definitely really a trade than a "swap", I suppose because I haven't participated in a true swap I kind of use the words interchangeably  Sorry!

[Vintergatan]

I know exactly how you feel! I recently bought a lot of ponies and because my budget was limited the person already sold the agreed ponies for me for a good price, only to then include some extra ponies on top! I am truly amazed by the kindness of people in this community! I will definitely do something for her, like send her something small as an extra, just to show my appreciation, but I think that the true gift those people gave to us is the fact that they made us more noble and generous in return I for one know that I will strive to be a better seller/trader after this experience

[PinkRosedust]

The way I see it is you shouldn't feel bad for not sending more than you agreed upon. You had no way of knowing that they were going to send you something really rare. They chose to send it to you without telling you, so they really shouldn't expect that you'd do the same - they went above and beyond to make you feel good, not bad. =) Plus if you can't afford to be sending gratuitous extras, then you REALLY shouldn't feel bad.

[lovesbabysquirmy]

Congrats on your RAOPK!    Sounds like you have an awesome new pony friend!