How do I deal with my hubby about MH collection?

[Cate_Dartfinger]

Personally, I would tell him to bug off, and if he harps on her again, that something of his is going to disappear! Granted, I'm the kind of person that will tell anyone to shove it if they tick me off.

As for a non confrontational way of dealing with something like this, I would just tell him that its something that she enjoys, and that she wants to be able to keep her dolls nice so maybe she will be able to give them to her daughters someday. Maybe if he thinks about it in terms of something to pass down to his potential grand kids he'll be able to understand it a little better..

[apanda0622]

Does he have a stack of tools in the garage?  Or books, cds, dvds, etc? 
 
 Is your daughter well behaved and stays out of trouble and does good in school? 
 
Then he shouldn't mind your daughter having 69 dolls.

[hannaliten]

Very good answer Jupi! Thanks all!

Post Merge: April 09, 2012, 07:07:35 PM

Does he have a stack of tools in the garage?  Or books, cds, dvds, etc? 
 
 Is your daughter well behaved and stays out of trouble and does good in school? 
 
Then he shouldn't mind your daughter having 69 dolls.

Yes, he has a rather large music collection.

Hanna is a great kid, she had top grades, reads on 5th grade level (she's in 2nd grade), she reads a lot, does her homework and practices her karate every day.

[VincentVJ]

Very good answer Jupi! Thanks all!

Post Merge: April 09, 2012, 07:07:35 PM

Does he have a stack of tools in the garage?  Or books, cds, dvds, etc? 
 
 Is your daughter well behaved and stays out of trouble and does good in school? 
 
Then he shouldn't mind your daughter having 69 dolls.

Yes, he has a rather large music collection.

Hanna is a great kid, she had top grades, reads on 5th grade level (she's in 2nd grade), she reads a lot, does her homework and practices her karate every day.

Well, then, I think she should be allowed to keep her dolls!
(Speaking as a non-parent... xD)
I mean, if she was a little terror, in the principles office everyday for back talking, being a bully, or things at home like, breaking things for fun, then I could see it. But she doesn't sound anything like that.
Whats the harm in her having some toys?

[Sokkis]

I'm having a hard time on understanding your hubby. Why, why on earth she can't keep her own toys, that make her happy? Even though they are MIB and she can't actually play with them, they are still making her happy, so what's the problem?
I think it's pretty amazing that a 8-year-old is keeping her toys as a MIB, and I think that everyone should respect that. I have two sons and they couldn't never keep anything MIB. They are younger though, but still.

I don't know, it just seems harsh to sell little girls toys just because they won't possibly be worth anything in near future. So what? It's the happiness that they bring alive in your daughter that makes them valuable, not the actual money...

[Wadatsumi]

yeah i can't understand him either. never heard of a father/husband who wanted to sell his/a kids toys, even if the kid wants to keep them.
sounds for me like the bad stepfather as in cinderella. not mentioning the doll-affair - has he a good relationship to your daughter?
i mean if he really loves her, he will accept her feelings no matter what he thinks right? but if he keeps bugging her i think something is quite wrong....
you have to tell him clearly that it isn't his choice to deal with your daughters collection! make a clear stand. maybe he doesn't take you serious? don't know, i can just try to imagening your situation right know. wish we could help you more than that! 

[mlpcrazy]

Sounds like he really isn't respecting you or your daughter's opinions very much, and certainly not recognizing your repeated wishes to drop it because it's upsetting her, which is something that probably should be discussed outside the doll issue. 

That aside, I think he should be content with having a happy well-rounded daughter, and find something else to worry and obsess over that's more important than a doll collection.  It isn't about their monetary value, its about the experience, and whatever it means to your daughter. 

Instead of stressing her out and making her cry so often, maybe he could try understanding why she likes them so much, and find a way to bond over it.  Value her happiness over his own issues with it whatever they may be, even if he doesn't understand the appeal.  It isn't about him, what he did as a kid or what he would do now, it's about being supportive of his daughter - regardless.

The dolls might not be an issue in the future, but then again maybe she'll want to be a life long collector, in which case this will just continue to drive a wedge between them.  Right now you don't know.  The best thing any parent can do for their child is to love and support them and their decisions, even if they don't understand or necessarily agree, so long as they aren't hurting themselves/others or causing financial problems for themselves/the family.  (This goes for everything, not just toys.)

You can't make a person understand collecting or agree its a worthwhile endeavor for your time/money, but you shouldn't have to "convince them of its value" to understand it makes the person you love happy.   

[cesprins]

When it comes done to it, they're pretty plastic dolls that are meant to be enjoyed not "investments". If he wants her to make money she'd be better off investing in the stock market, starting her own babysitting business, or something.
 
He's thinking what would make himself happy, which is making money off of something he deems "not important". I've learned obsessing over money can make you very unhappy. It's a good thing to be conscious of how money is spent, and worth. But I think your husband should relax and take his desire for success in other fields that would be more profitable. Dolls really in the longterm won't be a good source of cash, especially if you aren't an expert. And I'm willing to bet he isn't an expert. He needs to think what would make your daughter happy. Not himself.

EDIT: And technically its your money that bought the dolls for her as gifts. So what he wants to do if take away gifts you've given to your daughter... Which obviously would upset her. She might resent him as she grows older for it or think of him as frugal, or that he doesn't care about her because he is taking away something she loves.

[Icecrystalline]

When it comes done to it, they're pretty plastic dolls that are meant to be enjoyed not "investments". If he wants her to make money she'd be better off investing in the stock market, starting her own babysitting business, or something.
 
He's thinking what would make himself happy, which is making money off of something he deems "not important". I've learned obsessing over money can make you very unhappy. It's a good thing to be conscious of how money is spent, and worth. But I think your husband should relax and take his desire for success in other fields that would be more profitable. Dolls really in the longterm won't be a good source of cash, especially if you aren't an expert. And I'm willing to bet he isn't an expert. He needs to think what would make your daughter happy. Not himself.

EDIT: And technically its your money that bought the dolls for her as gifts. So what he wants to do if take away gifts you've given to your daughter... Which obviously would upset her. She might resent him as she grows older for it or think of him as frugal, or that he doesn't care about her because he is taking away something she loves.

Wow, this exactly what I wanted to say, you took the words straight out of my mouth!

[hannaliten]

Yeah, I don't think it's about the money for him. He said that if she sells them she'll get whatever money she makes from them to buy whatever she wants. My response: she'll buy a bunch of other toys he won't like! LOL

Anyways, we had a talk and he said he won't bring it up again. Let's see how long that lasts. Maybe until he gets the credit card bill from my Entertainment Earth pre-orders

[Malicieuse]

Don't you think this is mostly about your husband worrying your daughter is too obsessed by her collection?

[Taxel]

Don't you think this is mostly about your husband worrying your daughter is too obsessed by her collection?

This. honestly 69 dolls is a LOT, MIB or deboxed.

Plus I'm sure they cost a lot of money. If each doll was $15 that's over $1000 worth of MH dolls. If you have any reason to worry about finances I can't say I blame him. Heck even if I wasn't worried about finances I'd be pissed if my boyfriend spent so much on toys for our kid. Kids should have toys and all, but $1000 worth of dolls for an eight year old is a bit much, no matter how good she is.

[hannaliten]

Don't you think this is mostly about your husband worrying your daughter is too obsessed by her collection?

This. honestly 69 dolls is a LOT, MIB or deboxed.

Plus I'm sure they cost a lot of money. If each doll was $15 that's over $1000 worth of MH dolls. If you have any reason to worry about finances I can't say I blame him. Heck even if I wasn't worried about finances I'd be pissed if my boyfriend spent so much on toys for our kid. Kids should have toys and all, but $1000 worth of dolls for an eight year old is a bit much, no matter how good she is.

Why pissed? I can see it if you buy $1000 worth of toys for someone to play with, but I don't see the deal with that since she keeps them MIB. It's also not something that's been bought all in one month. They have accumulated over time. And since we're discussing the cost of these dolls I can say that very few have been paid with "household" money. Several have been gifts (Christmas, Birthday, Easter, Graduation, what have you) from us, grandparents etc.

She's also quite the little business woman. She's sold several dolls for a huge profit and bought more dolls with the money she made (she sold Abbey, Cupid and Spectra for $300 total to an overseas buyer, then she bought replacement dolls for waaay less and still had money left to buy the SDCC dolls). So yeah, she's earned her dolls.

[LuvlyMelody]

I'll admit 69 and still growing is a lot for an 8 year old. Since she's taking care of them (stored nicely, not scattered around the house, not in anybody's way) I see no problem with the numbers. And since they're gifts from you to her and he wants her to get rid of them...What is his motive? Just because they're MIB? I don't know what to say about that.

Even though I am not a Mother, (This is how it was with me and my sisters when we grew up and I think it worked well.) my rule would be that as long as they're not scattered around in a mess and not in the way of anything then that's fine. And if they're being bought periodically (like 1-2 dolls a month or so), that should be fine too. Also, from the pictures you've showed, they're being nicely kept.

He may think they're not worth more later than they're now, show him the wave 1 Signature dolls on ebay and compare those prices to how much you've spent. Wait till she's off to college and if she still has her collection and still MIB, and if they're still moust sought after then, I imagine she could sell her collection and you wouldn't have to pay a cent for tuition. lol

[hannaliten]

Well, at the rate they're popping up now, it'll be a few every month. Yes, I've told her, if she doesn't keep her room clean I will not get her any more dolls. I also try to hand them out as rewards (she got 2 for Easter, a fashion pack for passing her test in Karate etc).

To hubby's defense he has put up all the shelves in her room without complaining.