The MLP Arena

Pony Talk => Off Topic => Topic started by: Loa on May 15, 2017, 07:41:12 PM

Title: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Loa on May 15, 2017, 07:41:12 PM

I saw this trending on Twitter and thought it would be a funny discussion.

Goal is:
Describe your job in such a bad way people can't guess it.

For instance, mine is:

I send people away, sometimes they don't come back.

Go!

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Mewtwofan1 on May 15, 2017, 08:08:53 PM

Well, I don't have a job (that I legally can share. That's classified)
So I'll just go with my cover:

I listen to people talk about stuff I don't need every day without taking a day off.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Cswift on May 15, 2017, 08:41:26 PM

I tell teenagers how to get good.

Spoiler

I'm a writing tutor at my college.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Duenia on May 15, 2017, 08:59:15 PM

I make impossibly bad ideas somehow work.

Spoiler

I'm a front end web developer

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Marlin on May 15, 2017, 09:02:06 PM

I am a machine enabling a significant moment in children's lives...

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Bekuno on May 15, 2017, 09:24:51 PM

I get papercuts and hangnails to keep things organized only for the masses to destroy my hard work every day.

Spoiler

I'm a retail merchandiser for Hallmark!

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: aintnobuffalo on May 15, 2017, 11:00:41 PM

With the help of government funds, I teach mind control.

Spoiler

I'm a therapist for mental health.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: BerylBreeze on May 16, 2017, 12:40:11 AM

I tell people where the bathroom is located.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: ladybastilla on May 16, 2017, 01:07:19 AM

I play matchmaker for imaginary people. They tend to have a lot of drama. Occasionally they wind up happy. :lol:

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Einhornbaby on May 16, 2017, 01:29:27 AM

I remove things and throw them out just to see them brought back.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Artemesia's Garden on May 16, 2017, 02:50:41 AM

I grow flowers, people measure them and then we throw them away.  Sometimes no-one else ever sees them.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: banditpony on May 16, 2017, 07:08:48 AM

I create happiness.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Beth3346 on May 17, 2017, 05:15:02 AM

I help people buy stuff

Spoiler

Front-end Web Developer who works on e-commerce websites

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Broken Irishwoman on May 17, 2017, 06:23:07 AM

All in all I'm just another brick in the wall.

Spoiler

I work at a factory (not a regular one, but a factory for partly disabled people), often at the assembly line.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Pokeyonekenobie on May 17, 2017, 07:04:06 AM

I have access to all the information in the world but generally people only want movies from me. 

Spoiler

I work in a library.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: ajmeier55 on May 17, 2017, 07:38:54 AM

I take peoples clothes off and put them to bed. :shocked:

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: little.fox on May 17, 2017, 08:03:02 AM

I'm dying to know what some of these actually are now!

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Mewtwofan1 on May 17, 2017, 09:26:22 AM

Quote from: little.fox on May 17, 2017, 08:03:02 AM

I'm dying to know what some of these actually are now!

Same!

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: ponycake on May 17, 2017, 09:30:19 AM

I take all your personal information before I take your bodily fluids and organs. You never even see me.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Duenia on May 17, 2017, 10:30:21 AM

Quote from: Mewtwofan1 on May 17, 2017, 09:26:22 AM

Quote from: little.fox on May 17, 2017, 08:03:02 AM

I'm dying to know what some of these actually are now!

Same!

I feel like we should all put the answers under spoilers so people can guess and see if they're right lol.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: dragonlady on May 17, 2017, 10:34:38 AM

I send people off the island only to have them come back.

Spoiler

I'm a ferry terminal agent

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: SnorkMaiden on May 17, 2017, 10:55:06 AM

I teach people how to cope with other people shouting abuse at them.

Spoiler

I'm a customer care team leader.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Jinxxy on May 17, 2017, 03:01:31 PM

I ask dogs for favors.
I also scribble for money.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: lostpony on May 17, 2017, 03:06:09 PM

I answer the fone and say no.

Spoiler

I also make appointments, write invoices and send faxes.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: KC8114 on May 17, 2017, 03:07:15 PM

I get pooped on...  :lookround:

Spoiler

I'm a veterinary technician

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Kiwi on May 17, 2017, 03:09:14 PM

I do all the behind the scenes work so others can do their jobs. Also, I prick myself with a needle to make other people's homes pretty.

Spoiler

I'm program administrative support at a college. I also have an Etsy craft shop.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Mami Tomoe on May 17, 2017, 03:27:55 PM

i make sure the animals arnt dead and i also fix old vinal

Spoiler

i am a house sitter that also cleans my little ponies

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: dragonfly on May 18, 2017, 09:41:28 AM

I fix things and then I break them.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Broken Irishwoman on May 18, 2017, 10:20:41 AM

(Mine has a spoiler now too! :shy:)

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Galactica on May 18, 2017, 10:31:44 AM

I spend most my days fighting other people with words and long papers that most people can't understand

Spoiler

lawyer

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: alkevin on May 18, 2017, 01:40:45 PM

I  play online mmos, watch tv and movies.

Spoiler

Unemployed

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: aintnobuffalo on May 18, 2017, 05:05:48 PM

I like the spoilers. Mine has one too now.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: lovesbabysquirmy on May 18, 2017, 05:33:01 PM

I Take Care of All the Stuff for Everybody and I Also Know Everything ;) 

but not anymore...

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Mewtwofan1 on May 18, 2017, 06:34:36 PM

Well, I can't quite figure out how to put spoilers in mine, so I'll just say here. I'm a high school student.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Beth3346 on May 18, 2017, 07:26:49 PM

Quote from: Duenia on May 15, 2017, 08:59:15 PM

I make impossibly bad ideas somehow work.

Spoiler

I'm a front end web developer

LOL! Sounds familiar

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Annie on May 19, 2017, 12:32:27 AM

I encourage people to play with radioactive waste.

Spoiler

I work as support at a department that handle and cleans up hazardous waste from the environment.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: pawpatrolbab on May 19, 2017, 07:36:17 AM

I draw bad pictures for money

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Thrice on May 19, 2017, 09:12:17 AM

I put you to sleep, inject you with potent toxins, and scold your organs for misbehaving.

Spoiler

ICU nurse

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Kanchii on May 19, 2017, 04:38:33 PM

I visit pet stores all day and never buy anything.

Spoiler

I'm a sales rep for a few pet product manufactures

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Mkia on May 19, 2017, 05:38:10 PM

I play with nesting dolls all day!
Or
I remove large masses from other women with my hands.

Spoiler

Labor and delivery nurse  :lol:

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: zombienixon on May 19, 2017, 05:51:29 PM

I help people make holes in airplanes.

Spoiler

I work in the engineering department for a company that makes cutting tools.  I work on the projects for aerospace.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: kiwimlp on May 21, 2017, 12:39:35 AM

Lol, this thread is hilarious.  I buy one persons trash and sell it to somebody else.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Tulips on May 21, 2017, 03:10:00 AM

I do other people's least favourite chore in record time, and help people find basic necessities.

Spoiler

I'm a personal/online shopper for a grocery store... I cannot tell you how many times I'm asked where the eggs are lol.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Loa on May 21, 2017, 03:45:58 AM

Quote from: dragonfly on May 18, 2017, 09:41:28 AM

I fix things and then I break them.

I swear, this is our whole description of us at the Arena!

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: kestral_kitsune on May 21, 2017, 02:58:30 PM

i clean up after people that can't help it, and after people that don't bother too.

Spoiler

Nursing home House keeper I swear I clean up more after the lazy cna's and nurses than I do the residents D:

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: tikibirds on May 23, 2017, 01:23:04 AM

I have conversations with people who can't speak English.

Spoiler

English as a second Language Teacher in China

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Lhianneth on May 23, 2017, 09:03:03 PM

My job is manyfold, so here are the different aspects of what I do each week:

I give myself eyestrain and RSI by sitting too close to a large screen, while gently stroking it.

I torture fabric, stabbing it over and over, until it does what I tell it to do.

I piss off two different branches of the same franchise with large piles of boxes.

Spoiler

I design, sew, and ship alternative fashion garments, as well as textiles and house goods. The design process is almost all digital, from rendering the textile pattern, to creating the sewing pattern, so I'm usually glued to a computer screen for hours at a time on days I'm not sewing. The two local post offices each hate me for different reasons: one because they hate click and send, the other because I'm not *technically* within their jurisdiction, so they often want to adjust the postage rates the online site gives me (the rate is the same, I'm only going 300m in a different direction...and when I go to their branch, I use their post code, just not on the return labels).

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Mareacooda on June 03, 2017, 07:54:47 PM

Bombing holes alot bigger reaction than excepted!

Carter, wittness, plan and insisted!

I actually have two jobs... Can anyone guess them ;b

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Icicle on June 03, 2017, 08:07:22 PM

I currently don't have a job, but the idea I came up for my last one was just too funny not to post.

I made sure people knew what the heck was going on on a Sunday

Spoiler

Media tech for a church. Making slides, inputting everything into the computer so the congregation could follow along with the sermon. And making flyers and the like for events/weekly updates

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Twizel on June 18, 2017, 05:25:09 PM

I watch people move stuff.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Littlesparklepony on June 21, 2017, 11:00:19 AM

I´m getting in to peoples brains and listen to their problems all day.

Title: Re: Describe your job badly!
Post by: Chrissytree on June 21, 2017, 01:48:50 PM

I wait all day for attention then have to figure out what I'm supposed to do when my bosses bark orders at me. I've also recently been waiting for things to appear and watching out for suckers.

Spoiler

I'm unemployed. I look after my sisters two dogs and mine barks when she wants something.
I've been growing vegetables from seed for the first time and tending to tomato plants - I read online that you have to remove "suckers" that grow above the main branches so I've been plucking them off when I spot one.