Collector’s Guilt?

[Mrs. Prospector]

So today on Reddit, I saw someone post their massive collection of Bluey related merchandise. While I agree that the amount of things they own and probably will never use is a bit overkill, the comments seemed to have an anti-collecting rhetoric to them. Many people said that this much merchandise was overconsumption and ultimately wasteful.  That it’s selfish for adults to keep toys on a shelf when there are kids that would love to play with them. That it’s just another 60 tons of plastic headed for the landfills. That their obsession of something made for kids is unhealthy, and cannot be compared to collecting merchandise for something “adult” like Star Wars. Any rebuttal of “it makes them happy!” was followed by people criticizing happiness being derived by owning things. For good measure, there were also people making backhanded comments about MLP collecting, insinuating that it’s equally as creepy.  I’ve also seen similar comments on MLP collector’s instagrams.

This made me kind of feel kind of guilty about collecting MLP.  Is collecting things, especially if they’re second hand, inherently wasteful? I haven’t been collecting for long, but I always make sure to get ones I genuinely like, and don’t spend too much at once.  Is it shallow that something that makes us happy is ultimately a mass produced toy? For me, being an MLP fan/collector is much more than buying ponies-it’s connecting with fellow collectors, and using the franchise as an inspiration for art and writing. I’ve loved MLP for almost my whole life, and it’s become part of who I am. Do people really thing it’s creepy or a sign of issues to collect ponies these days? (I swear, the G4 fandom ruined everything when it comes to how the general public perceives MLP and the people who like it). 

The argument that really got to me was the “why are you keeping the toys away from the poor little children? Toys are made to be played with, not looked at!!” one. Is it really looked down upon to find cheap ponies second hand, and take the time to clean them up and lovingly display them when they could have gone to a child instead, even if they have already been loved for 20-40 years?

I know I’m blowing this way out of proportion, and that as MLP collectors, we will all disagree, but these comments made me question whether it’s “moral” to collect ponies or not for a minute (although nothing will make me stop collecting MLP or give away my collection).

[Minty_Magic]

I’ve seen a lot of the type of rhetoric lately as well and while I think it comes from a good place, I do think it’s been blown a bit out of proportion. Super lengthy and rambling post incoming!

The way I look at my collection is this: My ponies already exist, right? They can sit on a shelf in my room and be appreciated, the MAYBE could find a home with a kid, if just temporarily, or they can end up in a landfill anyway. Vintage ponies in particular however may not even be suited for kids play. With plasticizer leakage, rust, mold, hair loss, and the other issue that can be found in older toys it may not even be safe for kids to have them. I really don’t see what the harm is in collecting second hand toys that have already been produced. I figure they may as well be appreciated vs left to sit in the trash. There is no “undoing” the materials that created them at this point.

Newer toys I suppose one could argue that the more one buys the more demand there is for more to be produced, so I can see how curbing consumption can be helpful in that regard. But like you said, if you only buy what you truly want and will use, you are not single handedly destroying the planet with consumerism!! The toys will be produced regardless for kids who will love them for a time, and probably end up getting rid of them at some point. An adult buying a toy for themselves here and there isn’t going to skew how many toys are manufactured THAT much. I do think there is a troubling trend of buying more than is needed (I myself am guilty of this!) but idk, I never feel like it’s my place to judge exactly. If having like 20 of the same tumbler in different colors makes you happy, then hey, awesome! At least it’s saving single use plastic bottles from being used right?

I also despise how adults liking childish things has started to become negative in the eyes of some. I’ve seen a lot of the same negativity that you have that implies that adults who are into kids media are mentally ill or creepy or whatever. I mean to some degree I know it can come off as weird, but most folks I know who like kids stuff still are well balanced adults who just happen to still love a few particular things that make them nostalgic. My Little Pony obviously is a huge part of who I am and my interests, but I have other “adult” interests outside of it. I can hold adult conversations, work, and be invested in serious issues along with wanting an escape. I don’t particularly think that collecting toys is a sign of stunted development like some of these people seem to imply. Sure there’s a few in every group, but to paint us all with the same brush is so over simplistic.

To be honest with you I think part of the problem is just where you’re seeing the content. I love Reddit, but man it seems like negativity rules there. I’ve found myself really questioning myself a lot on my morality and views on a multitude of issues, and while that can absolutely be a good thing, it can also get exhausting when it seems like anything you believe in or enjoy is immoral somehow. I feel like there are some posters out there that think unless you live in a tent feel very bad about everything wrong with the world, you don’t take issues seriously enough and you’re part of the problem! The truth is none of us are perfect and we DO live in a very consumer driven society. I feel like if you are relatively mindful with your spending and don’t buy ponies just for the sake of having them, there are far, far more harmful hobbies to have out there. Of course I’m a bit biased, but I think us collectors are a pretty cool group of people!

[Snapdragon]

Oh boy, a post about guilt among collectors?! Let me get my anxious self in here! I'm joking, mostly! I'm sure at some level you know these comments are bunk, but it's hard to hear all the same! So I don't blame you for wanting to hear less-depressing replies to the same argument!

In terms of morality, let's be real... being alive as a human in 2023 is incredibly wasteful in general. If you live in the global West, if you own a cellphone, if you eat prepackaged foods, if you drink coffee, eat meat, you are surviving off of the backs of human suffering. If you are too focused on 'waste as sin', then your only option is to move to a commune and spend your days weaving baskets to atone for the sin of being alive. It's easier to point the finger and say 'oh, THOSE are the sinful wastrels!' and point at someone else, than to consider the ethics of child labor in producing most of the world's chocolate, just for one example. The people on Reddit posting about how evil it is to find pleasure in collecting 'the wrong thing' are likely posting from a computer or cell phone - do I have big news for them about the labor that is involved in those industries! /sarcasm

I saw a really good quote that stuck with me, I think from Tumblr - I actually googled it, and it's from a poem, "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver. Here are the first lines:

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

It's a beautiful sentiment, and one that I'm drawn to, especially as an anxious person myself. There's a lot about my life that I'm sure someone could point to and say, that's so wasteful! And so what? Every life produces waste. Waste is not evil. Being human and fallible is not evil. Nobody's perfect, and if you take pleasure in little bits of plastic that remind you of kinder times, gosh! In times like these, I hope we can forgive each other for the little quirks and foibles that keep us going every day.

I don't think it's wrong to want to do better, and in fact, I think we should do our best to lessen human suffering, especially on a global scale. But the answer is changing the industries that do these things and the capitalist society we live in that permits and rewards it, not tracking down Bluey collectors on Reddit to harass and make ourselves feel better. The world needs more kindness, and less of whatever that group of Redditors is doing right now, LOL.

(I also think it's very "interesting" that it's popular to dump on collectors for being weird, but not on the people who make NFL a lifestyle... and I think it's interesting to consider the gender disparity between the groups of collectors being targeted and the NFL megafans... hmmm I wonder what the difference is! )

[Beldarna]

I have no idea what Bluey is, but isn't it funny how ok it is to collect vintage toy cars, Star Wars and Barbie, but MLP is creepy? How about adults who collect anything Pokemon? No?

I don't give much of other peoples opinion of my hobbies. I do what I do because it makes me happy and is not harmful to anyone. I might be "childish" at some pooint, I definitly has the Peter Pan syndrome (that sentiment landed me a job in a gadget store a couple of years ago btw) but I am also a fully functioning adult with a job, home and bills to pay, who can afford a spare room for my ponies. The people who look down at others because of this are just sad. I hope they get a mlp for christmas.

Both Minty_Magic and Snapdragon has expressed exactly my feel of it. No other words needed other than that I liked that poem .

[BlackCurtains]

Pffft. Out of all the actual unhealthy things a person can indulge in, toy collecting is not even on the list.

Snap brings up a good point about NFL fanatics and sports fans in general I think. See also, car and gun collectors.

[Kitcatepic]

Collecting ponies especially older ones is not wasteful they are better off on a shelf than in a landfill

[Ponyfan]

I know this post is about ponies, but when I saw it I immediately thought of when I was insulted by someone for buying Funko Pops.  I was really excited to get the Hot Topic exclusive Black Lady from Sailor Moon and this person said "When are you going to grow up and stop buying toys?" It really hurt and took the excitement I had away about the Funko Pop. 

I don't see anything wrong with adults collecting toys.  Now if you're in a store and see a child grab a toy you want and you take it away from them after it's in their hands, that would be wrong. 


Ponyfan

[BlackCurtains]

It's also like when an adult catches a ball at a baseball game and is guilted for not giving it to a kid. If they caught it fairly, then why should they give it up? There's an episode of Rocko's Modern Life about that. All Rocko wants is to catch a foul ball and after going through a bunch of ridiculous things, he catches one. At the end a kid begs him for it and he gives it up thinking the kid would remember it as a special day. Then it shows the kid destroying the ball.

[Beth3346]

ugh that person is just trying to spread their misery, Ponyfan. there's nothing wrong with adults buying kids toys. also you're an adult, it's no ones business what you buy! I hope you still bought the Funko Pop.

This kind of stuff is such a pet peeve of mine. I guess i have many pet peeves so it's probably not surprising to anyone.

First off feeling guilty about keeping toys away from children. is there some shortage of toys i'm unaware of? are children unable to play because adults are snatching toys out of their little hands and putting them on shelves locked away? no i don't think that's a thing that's happening. if kids don't have toys that's probably an economic issue that you don't have responsibility for. or you can help by donating toys to organizations that give out toys to children. also, i don't think i've ever seen a toy donation drive take used toys. so whatever.

as far as plastic consumption i do always see comments on the organization instagram accounts i follow that complain about the plastic bins and whatever. i find it annoying. maybe people are well meaning but i don't think random comments on instagram are the place to make your stand. the plastic industry is where you should put your anger if you really care. not people on social media trying to make their lives less stressful or find a little happiness from buying whatever makes them happy. the biggest polluters are large corporations and the very wealthy who finance large corporations. they deflect their bad deeds onto consumers and try to make you feel like it's your responsibility to fix everything to they can continue their polluting ways. Here's an article that discusses this issue https://www.npr.org/2020/09/11/897692090/how-big-oil-misled-the-public-into-believing-plastic-would-be-recycled. changes in laws can fix these problems. you feeling guilty about buying stuff will not fix anything.

I also get really annoyed when people are made to feel bad for spending money on stuff they like. i don't see billionaires being asked to justify their yachts or 3rd or 4th homes. it's probably a symptom of my own pet peeves but it feels like a "rules for thee not for me" mentality. if you're not rich you should save every dime. how dare you spend money on something just because it makes you happy. makes me think of people who say that brewing coffee at home instead of buying a latte at a coffee shop is the secret of getting rich.

i'm not sure if it's as much of a thing outside the US but some people think frugality and saving money is some kind of sacred virtue. and any purchases outside of bills need to be justified to the world. whatever live your life. sure it's good to save money for retirement or emergencies. but random people online don't know what your finances are like. it's none of their business what you spend money on.

end of rant this is something i think about a lot. i'm sorry if i repeat some of the points already made.

i love the quote. i have a lot of issues with guilt myself from my upbringing and the sentiment really speaks to me.

[Ponybookworm]

People KNOW I collect, & I've got duplicate Ponies multiple times. Where do they go??? To a collector friend if they're older, or if newer, to a child. And it's not just Ponies; I also collect plushies, & am in several plushie communities, not least the ones for Blahaj.
Random people can occasionally be negative or not get it, but most people who I see about who comment like my Blahaj, & are amazed at my collections. The internet has a way of gathering those who want us all to live their way in one place. I personally think they should keep their noses out of others' business.
At the end of the day, we're adults, & we can find pleasure in whatever we can afford, whether it's Ponies, plushies, or something else
IMO it's the stick-in-the-muds who are miserable.

[Carrehz]

The Rocko ep is a good comparison That one's a classic.

Some fantastic posts about this! I guess my thoughts on it are:

If it makes you happy, and it isn't hurting anyone, then I think it's fantastic and you should keep doing it. And let me make this clear, by "hurting anyone" I mean ACTUALLY, unquestionably, inarguably hurting someone. I.e. collecting rocks isn't hurting anyone. Throwing rocks at people is where I'd draw the line

But I can't stand it when people say "You're taking the toys away from KIDS!!!" You can drive yourself mad worrying about hypothetical situations, children, etc, like this. Or you can just enjoy the thing that makes you happy and that you paid for yourself and rightfully bought. To me that's like yelling at someone for buying a cupcake because "What if someone else was really looking forward to getting a cupcake and now they CAN'T cause you bought the last one!!". Or whatever. You can't live your life worrying about upsetting hypothetical people!!! Unless you're literally ripping toys out of kids' hands or something XP there's nothing wrong with collecting things.

The only time I'd kind of side-eye someone about it is if they were literally going in and like... buying out the whole toy aisle or something. Or just straight-up scalping. That's the only point where I would say "C'mon, leave some for everyone else" (read, everyone else - including adults!)... even then you'd really have to be cleaning the place out before I'd start judging. If you're lucky enough to be able to go and treat yourself to a bunch of pretty things then go for it!!!

Going back to the Rocko thing for a minute, I've also gotta say, re: the whole "Let the kids have the toys" thing - I'm not trying to say anyone "deserves" something more than someone else - but I also can't help but think... a collector is going to enjoy something for a while, whereas it seems like these days a lot of kids get bored with things and move on a lot quicker? When I was little I'd mostly find older toys at charity shops and such, these days you see a lot more recent toys popping up second-hand. I feel like someone could make this point better than I can I'm not sure how to word it. But I wanted to put that in, anyway. I guess my point is that adults deserve nice/fun things just as much as kids do, I don't think anyone is more or less deserving of something just because of their age.

With second-hand things and older toys there is also the point that older toys may not be as suitable for little kids any more. Plasticizer leakage, older materials that are now deemed unsuitable for toy usage, etc. plus hey they've already probably had a good long life with at least one kid, they've earned a nice retirement, right?

Seriously, as long as you're not going to extreme/harmful lengths to add to your collection, hurting others to get there, etc, you've got nothing to worry about. I LOVE that poem Snapdragon The toys already exist, they were made to be bought and enjoyed, the makers don't care who gets 'em as long as they get the money for them so why should anyone else care?

This nonsense is exactly why I don't post about collection stuff in "non-collector" spaces. Part of it is that honestly, "normies" just don't 'get' it, another is that it attracts stupid trolls and it's not worth it. I've noticed that it's mostly girly/pink aisle stuff that attracts these comments, too... well and Funko POPs, yeah. (Which BTW, the POP hate is so stupid and at this point I feel like it's just trendy/a meme/etc to hate on them. Are they overproduced, overrated and kinda soulless looking? Yep. Do Funko make some questionable decisions? Oh yeah. Do I like them anyway? HELL YEAH! XP It's just the same as how people would rag on Beanie Babies back in the day and mock collectors, etc. They're harmless, let people enjoy them!) People use the "it's creepy" idiocy to make themselves feel good and Moral and etc. Like others have said, you don't see people getting shamed for cars, sports, guns.. makeup, clothes, shoes, etc.

actually, mentioning clothes makes me think of the whole "fast fashion" thing. I think it's wasteful if you're just picking up a new outfit with the idea of just wearing it once and then tossing it out. (I mean, it's your money and if you want to do that, that's your business, but I disagree with it) But if you want to buy a brand-new shirt instead of getting a second-hand one, there's nothing wrong with that either. Does that make sense? I don't think anything's wasteful unless you're like... actively wasting it, you know?

Can't stand the "why waste your money on X/Y/Z" arguments either. Again, unless you're actually spending more than you can afford or going to harmful lengths to get the money (and I mean to the point where it's actually a serious problem, I know we've all had those moments where we've eyed our pricey grail and thought "Hmmm do I really need two kidneys?" ) - yes it's good to save money and consider purchases carefully instead of just buying whatever - but ultimately it's YOUR money and you should spend it on whatever makes you happy! There's nothing wrong with pausing and thinking "Hm, do I really need to get this today?" but there's equally nothing wrong with thinking "Hell yeah I do!". Not just toys, even, I think this about anything/everything really.

The world's a hellscape already. There's nothing wrong with brightening it up with things that make you happy, and no one should ever feel guilty or ashamed for that. Now, shaming people for enjoying things, getting your kicks from judging others and being a jerk just because you don't understand something... THAT'S something to feel guilty about, if you ask me!

*climbs down from soapbox*

[Taffeta]

The wrong people are the ones who derive validation from criticising someone else's hobby.

The world is full of them. In the past, we came online to get away from those people. Now, because of social media, they inhabit every dark corner and crevasse of it, imposing their life values on everyone else because they have no joy of their own to speak of.

Ultimately, toys are better in a collection than in landfill. Museums have toys and items from past eras because people collected them. Ponies are better collectables than things looted from other places, as happened in the past. Old ponies are no longer safe for children, anyway. Most of my collection would have ended up in landfill by now, also, as I collected a lot of it from carboot sales and second hand sales years ago.

Also, this rhetoric is often also rooted in mysogyny. There are things that are acceptable collectables (because men collect them, like cars, trains, etc) and things that aren't (because women collect them), like ponies, etc. I am not saying it's as simple as guys vs girls on this, but that the ideology stems from that idea that guys don't need to grow up, don't need to validate why they still play computer games or collect warhammer figures, but girls have prams and baby dolls foisted on them when they are tiny so that they can learn their adult roles and should just get on with growing into them. That is the root behind the behaviour. It's also the root behind the idea of it being crazy, connected to the 'woman who has tons of dolls in her room' motif.

Although G4 pony fans did make collecting MLP crazy and a lot creepy. And most generic outside views of MLP collecting will be based on external opinions of bronies. Most internet keyboard warriors do not really know or care the difference between the older gens and the scary that went down during G4, as only the latter really had publicity.

But ultimately, the people critising are the same people who bully a kid in the playground for wearing braces, or having a lunchbox that's too juvenile, or for wanting to play dolls instead of talk about boys or make up, even though they're barely ten.

While there are obvious arguments about organisation, clutter, whatever to consider, giving people who just like to hurt other people a second of your thought time just gives them power.

Also, as Snapdragon said, there's a lot of hypocrisy in the people complaining. Most of them drive cars and use electronic devices. I don't drive a car, and while I use electronic devices, some of mine are seriously old now (my ipod is from 2006). I imagine that my collection of ponies is causing less climate destruction than the average person calling it out. I've noticed how it's a thing these days for climate warriors to victimise other people for little things, while doing those same things themselves. And I am 100% pro-climate awareness. I just got fed up with the "do as I say, not as I do" brigade acting like they have moral high ground.

Final note. When I was a kid, I only had a limited amount of pocket money. I didn't get to buy even ponies very often. I had to save up, often weeks or months, to get a pony I wanted. Often it was with Christmas or birthday money, so not very regularly at all.

Taking one or two toys off shelf that are still in production is not ever going to take anything away from kids. Unless the kids are super-spoiled and get everything they ever ask for (which in my area is definitely not true either.) A lot of toys shelf sit through months of clearance. Then where do we suppose they end up?

Probably landfill.

[brightberry]

I think, most of the times, those "call outs" are about making themselves look moral and beyond reproach by putting someone else down.  People who buy things, anything is contributing to human suffering and it really stinks.  It's just the pot calling the kettle black.  And trying to make one out to be worse is nonsense because we know, we know that the critical one is buying stuff, using energy and "wasting money."   

The good side.  If anyone buys something, that money goes to someone else.  It doesn't just disappear.  It pays someone's wages, helps pay someone's rent, feeds a kid, buys them a toy and ultimately ends up in some multi-billionaire's pile of money where it really will go to waste - never to see the economy again.     Ok, that's probably going too far lol.

But, unlike most of the things we buy, we can enjoy the toys and then resell them and get some of that money back.  We are keeping them from going into a landfill and they will, eventually belong to someone else.  We are only taking care of them for a short lifetime.

I do support laws that will reduce human suffering and help the planet.  I think that's really important.  We should be able to buy things knowing that we aren't doing damage somewhere else.  It's not at all transparent and it should be.

[Beth3346]

yeah i'm also pretty selective with who i share my collection with because of that attitude. i just don't want other people's feedback. i have had people say it's weird to be on collector forums. but internet fandom sites and boards were always part of the internet. i don't think it's weird. my parents are very judgmental and think that if they don't like something then no one should. it's an attitude that really bothers me and caused me to not share stuff i like with them. they know about my collection but don't really comment on it. i'm sure they think it's a bit weird.

i think some people get the idea in their head that being an adult means you're not allowed to have fun anymore. i'm sad for those people. i think it's less common now but it's still there. it makes me think of that 1950s dad who doesn't talk to his kids because he's busy working and drinking trope. just misery Don Draper wasn't aspirational.

also i don't really see the whole minimalism trend as being anti-consumerism. i don't think it's bad at all to be mindful of what you buy or bring into your home. but i feel like minimalism also seems to involve buying other stuff. like i see articles saying to throw out stuff you already bought and buy something else that's more compact or whatever instead. it's just different consumerism. it also seems to come with a sense or superiority over people who have a lot of stuff. i think it's fading as a trend too.

[Loa]

I've had family members get so frustrated with me about collecting. They just kept picking at me until I declared loudly "Right, that's it, I'm going to get cocaine!"
Mild panic ensued.

I'd rather spent money on things I enjoy!