The MLP Arena
Pony Talk => Pony Corral => Topic started by: Prince_Sunbeam on August 22, 2019, 04:12:36 AM
-
I feel like I dont want my ponies anymore?! Or at least not the majority. I even feel ashamed/embarassed- that I have them at all, and that now I dont want them!
I've been collecting for about 6 years now- theres always been ebb & flow. But I've never gone this long (8 months) feeling soooo distant from my collection. Even feeling regret for "wasting" the money? Especially as I had just gotten into pricier ponies before this happened.
I can appreciate the fun Ive had with my collection over the years but I genuinely feel like its "Time to move on" although Im worried that if I do that I'd ultimately regret it.
The advice Ive seen is typically- pack them away for a while as opposed to selling incase of regret. But I really dont even want to deal with packing the space up, its a whole (small) room! But even the thought of trying to sell them is also extremely daunting. I kind of just want them gone. [Im sure there are some I would keep regardless]
Its causing me some distress. I know it is also part of a greater feeling of needing to downsize my belongings. (Which is also why packing up doesnt help)
I always used to purge my material items at least annually but since living in single family homes vs apartments the past 5 years I feel like Ive accumulated far too much material "stuff" mostly in the form of collections or hobbies (which always fall to the wayside after a big financial dump)
I dont know what to do. I worked so hard to make my perfect pony room- I think that in itself was a hobby. And very soon after it was feeling completed, this crisis started to sneak in. I shifted to buying fewer, more expensive ponies- thinking I was just feeling like there were no more "common" ones on my want list but that quickly turned into no ponies. No logging into the arena. No posting in my mlp instagram. No longer even checking my mlp instagram. No setting foot in my pony room. And now theres literally been bags of clothing to donate blocking the entire doorway into the pony room for months....
I never knew I could feel so much weird guilt and shame about a toy collection. Its like Im embarassed that I ever started. I think it mayyyyybeee has to do with the way I used pony collecting to cope through a rough period of time in my life and mental health? Now I cant imagine justifying spending that much time or money looking for plastic to make me feel better... Its really rather distressing.
-
You are not alone.most collectors go through this at least once!
-
I went through this for 18 months after some stuff happened around the time I started uni the first time at the turn of the century, I couldn't even look at my ponies :/
I ultimately got into other things, but just closed the cupboard door and let the ponies sit there, while I figured out what I wanted and what was going on in my head. A lot of RW things happened around this time too, and I was being bullied by 2 members of the pony community and it just reached fever point so I had to get away. I didn't come back to ponies till I'd come to terms with the stuff that had happened, and the people in question had left the community.
In your case, it sounds like the opposite - they healed you, and thus now you feel more like they're holding you back?
Do you have anyone you can ask to take the ponies into custody for a while and give you time to experience your house without them there? I realise that sounds a bit unlikely, but if you were packing them up and loaning them to a friend for, say, 6 months, you might get some perspective and then either want them back or sell them on. But it would need a friend with space who you could trust.
-
Sounds like they're in their own separate room? Close it off for a few months, don't go in there and enjoy the break! We all need a break every once and awhile. :o) Pick other areas to work on, then see how you feel?
I have days when I want all of our collections gone.... Especially when my husband starts to sprawl out his sports cards on every surface of the house except the kitchen counters (not kidding!). I'm going on week 3 of no kitchen table which is piled with cards (and he hasn't looked at them for 2 weeks now), it's very frustrating.
-
Out of all the collectors I've known over the years, most have at some point disappeared and (I assume) stopped collecting. I guess what I'm saying is that it's okay to change and move on, if you feel like it's time. Your collection helped you when you need it . . . It's okay to stop if it is beginning to feel like a burden.
As for selling, you could sell them by sets. Kind of depends on whether you are in financial need and your priority is to get as much $ from the sale as possible, or if your priority is clearing them out quickly.
-
The act of collecting is 80% of the fun- you should have no guilt in moving on- just sell them all and if you change your mind later, you can re-collect them again :D
-
The act of collecting is 80% of the fun- you should have no guilt in moving on- just sell them all and if you change your mind later, you can re-collect them again :D
This is what I feel. There is some reward to be had in scoring a deal or scouring local flea and thrift to find new ponies, and at some point you just have too many to make it a rewarding activity...
Maybe sell off a few of the more common ones and see how you feel with a smaller collection?
-
Maybe the hunting and organizing aspects were more appealing then the actually "having" part of collecting. (I really prefer hunting so my personal rule is "no buying ponies from the US online") I think every responsible person feels bad about the money they spend on hobbies time from time, you have to weigh the cost of entertainment. Some people spend money on beer, sporting events, nails etc and those things are done and gone but still it serves the purpose of entertainment.
I agree with the idea of just sealing off the room for a specific amount of time, maybe something mid level like into 2020. Then go in there and see if the distressed feeling is still there. For a methodical slow way try out the Marie Kondo method, pick up each pony and you can use your responses to help you pair down.
If you just want to get rid of the majority personally I would sell my ponies off in big lots to friends and local collectors so they stay together and I could go look at them later for nostalgia
-
I do have guilt about some of my collections that are stored away. But every time I pull them out to see what has to go, I just don't feel happy saying goodbye to them. But I have found that picking one out and setting it aside to "go" does make me feel better. It's teeny tiny progress.
-
Unless you paid over the odds for lots of your collection try and see it as an investment. You can sell them and recoup the money if you are bored of collecting - so don’t feel guilty about it!
-
I went through this exact thing about 7 years ago. I was actually in a bit of a rough time of my life ( I wanted to do so much better! I had too much stuff! I need to minimize and not spend money on stupid things!
I wanted to toss out almost my ENTIRE collection.
I put aside a little box of my childhood and most special ponies, I put them in the closet.
Then I bagged up all my other ponies.
I planned on selling them all.
But that was so daunting, and so much work!
Next, I wanted to dump them all at a charity drop off. I needed them out of my life, and I needed them out of my life now. I couldn't stand the shame of having so much useless stuff, so much clutter, so much wasted money.
I had them all in a big garbage bag, and I was going to throw them out when.....
My Dad stopped me. He took the bags and put them in storage in his office.
I moved away, out of the country, my life changed, and 6 years went by.
I came back home, and my ponies were waiting. I can not tell you how thankful I was. I love those ponies. I opened up my little box of childhood ponies and out spilled all the happiest memories of my childhood.
Then I went to my Dad's office, and there were so many other ponies that I love and am thankful today to have.
Lessons
1. You can get rid of your collection however you want. It is yours! But you spent years (Decades?) collecting it, take time to make the right decision.
2. Recognize whether you are reacting Emotionally or rationally: You are in a big rush, feeling panicked. That sounds like an emotional reaction. Step back, tackle your collection one tiny piece at a time.
I suggest finding one pony that is not valuable, that has no emotional significance and SELL IT. Just one. It won't be hard, you won't miss it, and you can then see how you feel about getting rid of it.
3. There is no harm in taking some time to think about things, and not looking at your collection is wonderful advice. It can be so stressful to be faced with such a big decision. There is a lot of stress trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong. Waiting until you feel more collected is immensely helpful!
-
I'd personally keep them...But if they are making you feel distress then don't. they were important to you at on point but obviously things change. I impulsively got rid of my Barbies years ago and felt regret as there were a lot I loved. They were newer ones, sure, but I got rid of things that I enjoyed for years. I don't regret letting them go as much as I wished I had thought it over first, or kept a few in case. I never (really lol) got back into them but what if I had? Point is, maybe get rid of them slowly, starting with the commons, and see if you just want less. Or close them off, find another collector to hold on to them for you. What's your favorite gen? Maybe keep ponies from one gen. I hope you figure it out!
-
I think I can understand this feeling, Prince_Sunbeam.
A few years ago I wouldn't have fathomed giving up my ponies. They meant so much to me at one time. I had hundreds, I adored them then. Now I only have 4.
I realize now that collecting and MLP were there for me at a time when I needed it and I am at a place where I don't need to be doing that anymore. The toys have changed (I only collected G4), I've grown too. I'm finding happiness in other things now, I have some cute photos and memories but it was time to move on for me. (Obviously I still check in the arena occasionally, and I am still watching the show through to the end of FiM.)
Hobbies/collections should not cause you prolonged distress or any sort of shame! 8 months of having negative feelings about it seems like a sign you really should be letting them go or at least heavily restructuring your collection.
It may or may not be an idea that is right for you but, have you looked into the concept of minimalism at all? It's something that has helped me with letting go, gaining some perspective on myself, creating and focusing on goals, and managing my space both mentally and physically over the past few years. You say you have a greater feeling of needing to downsize so I wonder if it might be something that would resonate with you too. There are a few youtubers I like that focus on this topic and sometimes I sift through r/minimalism and related subs on reddit.
-
I love animals, I love horses, and therefore I loved breyers and little ponies. Twice in my childhood I was forced to get rid of my ponies, but the breyers were ok. I worked at a stable, worked in the vet field, even lived in a barn apartment for two years. So the breyers weren't questioned too much.
But them I turned 35. I'm was still single, no wife or kids. People already think I'm the odd one. I also like cats, so my family was always giving me cat stuff at birthdays and Christmas. I had to tell them to stop. Nobody's ever going to date the guy with all the silly cat stuff in his house. Well, at 35, I had the same revelation about my breyers. What is a 35 year old guy doing with shelf after shelf of plastic horses? I boxed up 80% percent of my collection. I was going to sell them and only keep those that had special meaning.
Well, they're still in boxes in the basement after almost seven years. I just... never got around to selling them, or I guess it was I really couldn't let them go. I started a post here on the arena, there were a couple replies I think about who I have and photos, but I never followed through.
So I've sort of been in your shoes. Wanting to let go but not sure how or why.
-
I was this with my newer ponies and I decided it was time to downsize I didnt miss any of the ones I have got rid of and still find myself trying to downsize even more. I dont have as much G3s as I used to but there are so many I like. Same with G4s. I felt the same way at first i think it was overwhelming. I still feel that way when I go through them. especially all the G3s and I still have some on my want list but its not as big and I think its better in control now.
-
Sounds like you're feeling societal pressure. Your embarrassment most likely stems from the fact you're male. As Gator also described, it seems "wrong" to be a man in this situation. Collecting girls toys.
But remove yourself from what society thinks for a moment. Are you yourself happy? Or are the toys an honest regret?
It seems like you may have enjoyed the hunt more than the toys. Perhaps sell the commons in lots, to re-collect them. :)
-
I only collect G1 so when hasbro stopped making them I stopped collecting and used to go in to charity shops but never much luck so for years I didn't really collect and I thought of that saying /line "time to put away childish things" and I put my ponies and most of my teddies up in the attic the house got redecorated and I had some deaths in my family including my mum and dad, and I started to miss them as my mum had bought a lot of them for me so were like tangible memories, the next day I thought bugger the saying , and an hour later I was in the attic getting them down cleaning them and displaying some , I was so glad I didn't get rid of them and then I found eBay the arena and then pony con and I have never been happier, lately I have only brought the rereleases but, I will buy an old one if I see them :) so yes I agree you should put them away for a while and see if you miss them ,if you do then keep them if not sell them on here at least you will know they will go to good owners :) and never be ashamed of of liking something out of the ordinary if people were all the same the world would be really dull , :) <3
-
Thanks for all the thoughtful responses everyone!
I do think that the hunt (and extensively setting up the room) were more the fun part for me than just the "having"
Reading through all your replies, I do think I should at least try sorting. Probably Kondo style- see how each one makes me feel. Come up with ones I definitely wont let go, ones I definitely can, and ones Im unsure of. I can probably just pack up the unsures and keep or sell the rest.
Part of how Im feeling is guilt that Im "giving up" on this hobby/collection. So hearing other collectors validate that its okay to walk away feels good. And yall are right, if the fun is in the hunt then theres nothing wrong with starting over if I change my mind!
Im definitely feeling a bit better about this. Though still rather overwhelmed with the actual process...
-
Thanks for all the thoughtful responses everyone!
I do think that the hunt (and extensively setting up the room) were more the fun part for me than just the "having"
Reading through all your replies, I do think I should at least try sorting. Probably Kondo style- see how each one makes me feel. Come up with ones I definitely wont let go, ones I definitely can, and ones Im unsure of. I can probably just pack up the unsures and keep or sell the rest.
Part of how Im feeling is guilt that Im "giving up" on this hobby/collection. So hearing other collectors validate that its okay to walk away feels good. And yall are right, if the fun is in the hunt then theres nothing wrong with starting over if I change my mind!
Im definitely feeling a bit better about this. Though still rather overwhelmed with the actual process...
Another thing you could do while going through your progress is maybe think of redesigning the room to fit your smaller collection. Imagine how you might set up one corner of it, maybe have different display ideas. If you get rid of the dead wood of your collection but then still have a corner of space you can use to have fun creating new displays every so often it might help.
Just don't rush through it. Take your time and figure out bit by bit what you want from your collection, if anything, going forward.
-
I can empathize. My collection has been in boxes for 4 years now, and I still dont have them really on display. For me, I need a goal in order to get into collecting. So right now my goal is to create an inventory of what I have so I can then develop a goal about what I plan to do next.
-
My aunt was in a slightly similar situation. She still had her collection from when she was a kid, and she was very distant from it. But she feared she might get really attached to them again if she sorted them out / sold them. So now I'm selling them for her.
It's probably not an ideal solution for you, but maybe you can get someone to help you sort them out?I don't know how big your collection is, but you probably only have a few you REALLY love, while you might've even forgotten about others.
-
Im definitely feeling a bit better about this. Though still rather overwhelmed with the actual process...
Give yourself time and take it slow. This will also give you more time to really think about which ones you want to keep.
Personally, I always separate the ones I want to sell first. I put them all in one box so I won't see them anymore (I hate clutter). It helps to get them out of sight first.
Then days/weeks later I come back to that box and see if I still want to sell all of them.
I do this once in a while to keep my collections small. So far only one collection completely survived that process (my Monster High dolls), all the others get decimated once a year ;)
-
Im definitely feeling a bit better about this. Though still rather overwhelmed with the actual process...
Give yourself time and take it slow. This will also give you more time to really think about which ones you want to keep.
Personally, I always separate the ones I want to sell first. I put them all in one box so I won't see them anymore (I hate clutter). It helps to get them out of sight first.
Then days/weeks later I come back to that box and see if I still want to sell all of them.
I do this once in a while to keep my collections small. So far only one collection completely survived that process (my Monster High dolls), all the others get decimated once a year ;)
I will be doing this to my MH dolls when I get home, as I know I don't have space for a large MH collection and I want to pare it back to favourites so they fit on one shelf, hopefully. Right now I feel like I'm also going to keep only 2 EAH dolls - Justine, who is my favourite, and original Apple, who was my first. I'm not really attached to the others. I've also sold pretty much all my other collections over the years, like keypers, she-ra, etc. Mostly for pony space reasons.
The closest to this experience was when I realised my Jem collection wasn't making me happy any more and debated whether to sell it, but what I ultimately did was get rid of all the outfits I had that I didn't like (no point keeping them just because they're rare) and every single Jem and Rio doll (because I can't stand either character). And now it's basically a Misfits and Holograms zone with some IT dolls and they all fit in the cabinet and I feel much more attached to them now than I did before. I still have some boxed ones and stuff to get rid of when I have some time at home, but it made me more connected to my collection having done that and made sure the things I have are the things I really love.
G1 MLP is the only completionist collection I have. Everything else is subject to space and opinion changes and I think that's healthy.
-
Oh I have gone threw this so so many times! I cant even say how many times now. There are some ponies/ Breyers that I sold that I really wish that I did not! They are ones that I never will get myself to buy again! They cost just way to much now! What I should of done was hold each one and go from there!
I would go threw your ponies and take the ones that don't make you happy of smile at all! Sell those ones off. That is what I did last month with mine! I have a smaller collection now and love who I all have! I went form 400 to about 100 ponies! Yes I know that is a lot but I can put on one bookshelf instead of three! Please don't just sell them all! I have done that way to many times and wish that I didn't do!
This feeling is not going to be forever! Your love most likely will come back but might not be the same way!
I right now am only buying the 35th retro ones! I do not care for anything else at the moment! I also am finding that I am enjoying pony art online more then anything! I love to Google ponies and look them all! :)
-
Thanks for all the thoughtful responses everyone!
I do think that the hunt (and extensively setting up the room) were more the fun part for me than just the "having"
Reading through all your replies, I do think I should at least try sorting. Probably Kondo style- see how each one makes me feel. Come up with ones I definitely wont let go, ones I definitely can, and ones Im unsure of. I can probably just pack up the unsures and keep or sell the rest.
Part of how Im feeling is guilt that Im "giving up" on this hobby/collection. So hearing other collectors validate that its okay to walk away feels good. And yall are right, if the fun is in the hunt then theres nothing wrong with starting over if I change my mind!
Im definitely feeling a bit better about this. Though still rather overwhelmed with the actual process...
If the getting is the best part then maybe you could buy then resell to others? like cheap lots off ebay/craigslist/flea markets? maybe like restore? just a thought. :)
-
This is a great thread! I feel better about my own situation and pony collecting after reading this. :)
I had something similar happen to me with my cross-stitch. I used to sew a lot, but then I got kinda bored with it and put all my sewing supplies away. I also felt bad because it was a hobby that would never earn me any money back. You can sell things that you cross stitch, but usually you just make back the cost of the materials. It's such a slow hobby that you could never sell anything to be paid for the time it takes to do it.
So for a few years I put aside my projects in a closet, but recently I pulled them back out and dusted them off. Now I do cross stitch while I watch TV, and make gifts for friends. It feels worth it. It's an expensive hobby but a fun stress reliever.
-
I have purged and re-collected 3 times now. I dont think I will ever amass a collection of the sizes I used to have. Now it's just VIP special ponies, my childhood herd, and the occasional thrift store pony. My childhood ponies mostly have gone to my kid...
-
The act of collecting is 80% of the fun- you should have no guilt in moving on- just sell them all and if you change your mind later, you can re-collect them again :D
This is what I feel. There is some reward to be had in scoring a deal or scouring local flea and thrift to find new ponies, and at some point you just have too many to make it a rewarding activity...
Maybe sell off a few of the more common ones and see how you feel with a smaller collection?
I went through a big purge of all the common ponies when the peak of FIM hit and ponies were selling like crazy. Now I'm just starting to pick up collecting again. It's always been about the thrill of the hunt for me! Which is why I specialize in selling 80s/90s kids toys as a side hobby because I enjoy the hunt. :)
-
Wellp! Im officially doing it. Im listing a bunch of ponies for sale. So far I feel good about it!
Thanks for the support yall
-
Like you said, everything ebbs and flows. ^.^ I promise you, our friendship is based on much more than just ponies, and our little community will be here for you...if you want to visit. You have my unwavering support to go EXPLORE NEW PASSIONS! <3
-
Ive done it!
The rest of the room is still in shambles of storage & sale piles. But I condensed my bookshelf display from 16 shelves down to 3! Im storing my PE & Dream Castle. As well as the rest of my funko glitter G4s (I have the complete set) and my collection of blind bag size G4s and their house sets.
Not shown is my disorganized shelf with my precious G2 castle, bushwoolies, customs, and MIBs.
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
-
Wow those G2's are gorgeous! I didn't realize they had some really striking colors!
-
Congrats! It looks fantastic! You got some excellent pieces in that grouping. Consider me jealous!
-
so lovely!
-
Interest in my pony collection comes and goes. Right now I'm focusing on other collections because I'm so BORED with G4. I'm waiting on G4 to be over so I can start on G5.
I love animals, I love horses, and therefore I loved breyers and little ponies. Twice in my childhood I was forced to get rid of my ponies, but the breyers were ok. I worked at a stable, worked in the vet field, even lived in a barn apartment for two years. So the breyers weren't questioned too much.
But them I turned 35. I'm was still single, no wife or kids. People already think I'm the odd one. I also like cats, so my family was always giving me cat stuff at birthdays and Christmas. I had to tell them to stop. Nobody's ever going to date the guy with all the silly cat stuff in his house. Well, at 35, I had the same revelation about my breyers. What is a 35 year old guy doing with shelf after shelf of plastic horses? I boxed up 80% percent of my collection. I was going to sell them and only keep those that had special meaning.
Well, they're still in boxes in the basement after almost seven years. I just... never got around to selling them, or I guess it was I really couldn't let them go. I started a post here on the arena, there were a couple replies I think about who I have and photos, but I never followed through.
So I've sort of been in your shoes. Wanting to let go but not sure how or why.
As for the bolded part.... ARE you kidding me? I would LOVE to find a guy that loves cats more than dogs. And a guy that collects ponies as well as cats! I can only dream of finding such a magical creature.
-
I agree, there's nothing wrong with a guy having pony stuff or cat stuff.
That said, I get that it can be annoying when people only know you for one thing. I'm very open about my collection at work, I have ponies displayed etc. And no one has ever given me grief over it. But there have been one or two well-meaning people who, if they were introducing me to colleagues, were like: "And this is [Name], she collects My Little Ponies!" Like . . . REALLY? I don't mind it coming up naturally in conversation, but that's not all I am.
Anyway . . . Prince_Sunbeam, your collection looks awesome! I really like it when ponies are spaced out like that instead of in a shoulder to shoulder crush, it makes them easier to admire!
-
I understand completely! I was out of collecting for years! I’m still not actively buying ponies- I have my core collection and I am very happy with that. There was a time when I spent loads of time on my collections; ponies, dolls and bjds mostly. But then my interests shifted. I sold all my dolls. I kept the ponies, because they are mostly childhoods. But they are mostly packed away. I have a couple with me. ST AJ, for instance ;) But mostly, they are packed away. You can be a part of this community without buying ponies. There are so much else to this hobby than just buying :heart:
-
This post made me think about my collection again. can you believe I still have a few ponies that I'm okay with parting with? LOL
-
I think there are ups and downs with any collector. Particularly with toy collections, and even more particularly with societal perceptions of bronies, there cam be a feeling of stigma associated with it, especially due an adult to be dedicated to toys. When you dedicate not only time, energy, money and the physical space of your home to your collection then I think a time comes when you do want to re-evaluate your priorities.
That's natural and a good thing to do periodically. There can be a certain amount of peer pressure and keeping up with the Joneses in the pony community. I myself go through phases of actively collecting and selling things off, it definitely ebbs and flows but in the end, I'll always love MLP whether I have a large collection or no. I used to have a collection of thousands and tbh, they had lost their meaning to me and were not as special. Right now I keep a few pieces which are meaningful to me and I'm happier. But it has changed during different seasons of my life, I've been collecting for a long time.